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Author Topic: WOMEN'S HUMOROUS SEX  (Read 5467 times)
Razman
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« on: January 02, 2013, 06:02:37 PM »
My husband came home with a tube of K Y jelly and said,
'This will make you happy tonight.'
He was right.  When he went out of the bedroom,
I squirted it all over the doorknobs.
He couldn't get back in. 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Two men were talking.  'So, how's your sex life?'
'Oh, nothing special. I'm having Pension sex.'
'Pension sex?' 
'Yeah, you know; I get a little each month, but not enough to live on!'   
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YLGuy
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« Reply #1 on: January 02, 2013, 07:33:37 PM »
My marriage had really gone downhill.  We only had hallway sex: When we passed in the hallway we both said F you!

Don't get married. It is a lot quicker to just find a woman you hate and buy her a house!
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Riki
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WWW
« Reply #2 on: January 07, 2013, 10:35:46 PM »
Quote from: YLGuy on January 02, 2013, 07:33:37 PM
My marriage had really gone downhill.  We only had hallway sex: When we passed in the hallway we both said F you!

I heard that was called "oral sex"  *LMAO*
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Dialysis - Feb 1991-Oct 1992
transplant - Oct 1, 1992- Apr 2001
dialysis - April 2001-May 2001
transplant - May 22, 2001- May 2004
dialysis - May 2004-present
PD - May 2004-Dec 2008
HD - Dec 2008-present
Hazmat35
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« Reply #3 on: May 18, 2013, 03:11:25 PM »
 :rofl;   :yahoo;   :rofl;   :clap;   :rofl;   :yahoo;
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Brother Passed away - 1990 - Liver Disease
Diagnosed w/ Polycystic Kidney Disease - 1998
Mother passed away - Feb. 1999 - PKD
Sister passed away - Feb. 2006 - PKD
AV Fistula / Upper Left Arm - September 2009
Father passed away - September 2009
In-Center Hemo Dialysis - April 2010
Broken Knee Cap - January 2015
Diagnosed w/ A-Fib October 2017
Surgery to repair Hiatal Hernia 2018
Multiple Fistula Grams / Angioplasty's since then!


Hating Dialysis since Day 1 and everyday since then!!!!  :)
Whamo
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« Reply #4 on: May 10, 2018, 11:03:35 AM »
 :rofl;  My social worker at a kidney transplant support group meeting asked us about intimacy in our relationships.  I didn't say anything.  After all, I'm married.
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kickingandscreaming
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« Reply #5 on: May 10, 2018, 01:27:08 PM »
About 30 years ago, while my husband was still alive, he had a bad kidney stone.  Before they had the chance to use the modern method of kidney stone "shattering" the stone moved to a bad place and they had to operate on him with a major incision (not unlike in a TX).  For the next several years, he turned off sex because it hurt him and the skin around the incision felt weird and numbish.  So I would imagine that a TX might have the same effect.
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Diagnosed with Stage 2 ESRD 2009
Pneumonia 11/15
Began Hemo 11/15 @6%
Began PD 1/16 (manual)
Began PD (Cycler) 5/16
PrimeTimer
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« Reply #6 on: May 10, 2018, 01:35:55 PM »
Oh my eyes! My eyes!! I'm not reading this!  :shy;
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Husband had ESRD with Type I Diabetes -Insulin Dependent.
I was his care-partner for home hemodialysis using Nxstage December 2013-July 2016.
He went back to doing in-center July 2016.
After more than 150 days of being hospitalized with complications from Diabetes, my beloved husband's heart stopped and he passed away 06-08-21. He was only 63.
Charlie B53
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« Reply #7 on: May 10, 2018, 06:10:03 PM »


LOL

TOO Late Prime Timer, you've already seen it!

Sadly most of it is true.

A brokeoon disic in my low back and major muscle damage resulting in scar tissue against the right testicular nerve somewhere makes it a REAL Pain.   20 years already I am VERY careful how I move still.   Many things make it worsen.

Nuff said.
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