Wife's gift saves Joel Meade's life

[okarol]

Wife's gift saves Joel Meade's life
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
By Magdalene Landegent

Couples give each other many different things for their anniversaries.

Roses, cards, chocolate, jewelry, golf clubs, a trip, even a new car.

But this summer, just before their 28th anniversary, Marilyn Meade gave her husband Joel her kidney.

Last summer Joel's doctor told him that, due to other health concerns, his kidneys were starting to fail.

They were only functioning at 25 percent and were going to get worse, the doctor said.

Joel, a middle school keyboarding teacher at Le Mars Community Schools (LCS), took the news in stride and simply went back to teaching.

But when he went back to the doctor later, his kidney function had dropped to about 17 percent. Dialysis would be next, his doctors said.

Teaching became more and more difficult.

"When toxins build up in your body it makes you sick and very sleepy," said Marilyn, a family and consumer science teacher at LCS.

In the morning, Joel would be torn about if he was healthy enough to teach that day, she said.

Finally, he stopped teaching in late February.

"That's when it really struck me how sick I really was," Joel said in a phone interview.

He started dialysis in March.

He was able to do the frequent procedure at home, connecting large bags of solution via tubes into his body to clean his blood. Still, his kidneys' dysfunction kept him homebound.

Early on, Joel was placed on a national waiting list to find a kidney donor.

Joel learned he would only need to find a donor with a matching blood type, thanks to advances in the field of organ transplantation, including those by Le Mars native Dr. Thomas Starzl.

Joel and Marilyn have a lot in common. They met playing volleyball after they both moved to Le Mars in 1978 to teach. They've traveled through the U.S.'s 48 continental states. They like to spend time at Okoboji.

And they have the same blood type.

For Marilyn, the idea of donating her own kidney was there from the beginning.

"As soon as I found out our blood was a match, I figured I could donate," she said.

Other people also stepped forward to offer their kidney to Joel -- two middle school teachers and two relatives.

Marilyn, though, was very insistent to the doctors she'd be a good choice.

Joel was hesitant.

"He didn't want to ask me to do that," Marilyn said.

Joel said he hated the idea of taking something from someone healthy.

"The doctors say they'll be fine, but you always wonder," he said, then paused. "I've always said she's the tougher one of us two."

But, he added, her offer felt really good.

"I don't think there was ever a question," Marilyn said. "I have a nephew who has received two kidney transplants, the first from his dad, my brother, and later from his wife."

"I figured if they can do it, I can do it," she said.

The Meades underwent rigorous medical testing to prepare for surgery.

"I was a better match than they even thought," Marilyn said. "They said that was unusual for a spouse."

The waiting, she said, was the hardest part.

July 27 was surgery day at Sanford USD Medical Center in Sioux Falls.

Marilyn's surgery was laparoscopic, with the largest cut about 3 inches long to take her kidney out. She has a few aches now and then, and has a slight bit of fatigue, but is otherwise doing fine.

Joel received Marilyn's kidney in a four hour surgery. Now it is functioning alongside his original pair.

The doctors didn't remove his kidneys because they are still slightly functioning.

While Marilyn returned home July 30, Joel must stay in Sioux Falls for another week to take anti-rejection drugs and monitor his new kidney's health.

"Most of the time, I'm doing pretty good," Joel said.

If Joel's body was to reject the kidney, it would most likely be in the first year, Marilyn said.

"There's a whole list of things to watch out for," she said. "But the anti-rejection drugs are very good now."

Thinking about the future helps Joel stay strong on the hard days.

He retired from teaching this spring and plans to travel with his family, find a lot of projects to do around the house, read and simply do things he hasn't had time to do.

"I'm going to get through this," he said.

Joel said the amount of interest and support people have shown his family during the whole process has been "awesome."

Even their oldest son, Tom, 22, an Iowa State student, came home to be with the younger two Meade children, Colin, 13, and Ellie, 12.

"We're very close," Joel said of his family.

In the past, other organ recipients have reported feelings and tastes that have changed after they received an organ. They suggest organs might carry on some of a person's characteristics.

"Maybe Dad will burn things less," Colin joked.

"Maybe he'll be a better cook," Marilyn chimed in with a grin. "I'll be anxious to see if that came through."

http://www.lemarssentinel.com/story/1561291.html