Hannahs(5) question to her Grandfather (Frank)

[Dianejt]

This past week our Son Erik  & his family where away on vacation camping down on Cape Cod. On Saturday night he sat down with the 2 kids, Hannah (5) & Nathan (11) to tell them that Yaya is going to be going on hospice and he will soon be dying. They have lived here with us for the past 2 years so they have seen how sick there Yaya has gotten.

Yesterday when they got home we where just getting back from going to see Franks buddies playing tennis. Hannah came running into the livingroom gives Yaya a big hug and said I love you Yaya. Is it true you are going to dye soon? Yaya hugs her back & looks at her and said yes Hannah, I'm sorry but this is true.

I choked up and said we have to love Yaya as much as we can while he is still here with us.
OUT OF THE MOUTHS OF BABES

[okarol]

 

[monrein]

Heart wrenching and sad Diane, but how wonderful that this subject is not a taboo one in your home and also that Frank won't have to pretend that things are what they're not.  Kids can cope with an awful lot if they have the right kind of support.  Your family sounds very brave indeed.   

[Mizar]

Reminds Me of a Story, My Sister, told Me Years Ago. She went to the Hospital, to see a Co-Worker, that had only been given Weeks to Live. She didn't know what She was going to say, when She saw Him. She said, when She got to the Room, She took a Deep Breath and went on Her Gut Reaction. When, She saw Him, She said, " Bill, I'm so glad, to see You are sitting up Today and Eating and Having a Good Day. Word, has been going around, that You are going to Die soon " She said, He Smiled and Said, " Yes, I am. I'm glad We got that out of the Way, because, no One else will Talk about it " She said, they spent the Next Hour, Laughing and Talking, about the things, they had done at Work.
As Adults, We almost seem, Embarrassed to Talk about Death. I Think, It's because, in the back of our Minds, are Thoughts of Our Own Demise. Little Children, don't have Those Thoughts. I may get some Comments, for what I'm about to say, but, I think, that Little Child, Broke down a Wall, that Adults, Couldn't do.
It's all in the open now. The Rest of the Time, this Man has left, can be spent, Talking about Sweet and Precious Memories, of His Life, with His Family.

Take Care, Thoughts and Prayers are with You.                                                                                       Mizar

[paris]

Although your story is so sad, Diane,  it is a wonderful gift you have given the grandchildren.  They can appreciate these days and make more memories. Your family seems very special and kind.   I keep praying for you and Frank.   Hannah and Nathan are fortunate to have such marvelous grandparents.   

[kellyt]

It sounds like there is a lot of love in your home, and for yaya.  I hope these last days/weeks/months/years are full of that same love and great memories for Hannah.   

[Dianejt]

Yes Hannah is the type of child you are going to love, she will get into your lap & give hugs & kisses all the while telling you how much she loves you. Nobody can resist her. She's bossy and knows everything & wants to do everything.I tell my friends she wakes up in the morning ready to work. She has planted a garden, washed clothes, dishes loves to prepare dinner. She must be busy all the time. I agree with you Mizar she did open it up. I worry about Nathan as he is a quiet type of 11 year old boy. Christie said when Erik told the kids Hannah started bawling right away, Nathan clammed right up. Erik spoke to him a couple hours later just the two of them. This I'm sure helped Erik also because when he was 15 my Mom died & he walked into the hospital room took one look at her & turned around & walked into the hall. He just couldn't bear to see her this way.

It is so sad, my heart is breaking just at the thought of my life without him. But I'm in so much anguish watching him suffering I just want it to stop.

[Jean]

children are awesome little creatures. Diane, I must share a little story with you. When my late husband was dying, he became very very demanding, and the day he died, all his sons were there, trying to please him, by moving him around the house. I mean they picked him up and carried him around. They would put him in one spot and as soon as they put him down he wanted to go to another one. After about the 10th time, they were all tired and getting irritated. I went in to the bedroom and just asked God, if you are going to take him, please do it today before the boys all have bad memories. He was dead within the hour. It took me over 5 yers to get over that guilt. Even tho I know, it is normal to feel that way. So, honey, just keep your chin up and do the best you can.

[Des]

I have told people on here about the time my dad passed.

We went to the hospital to say goodbye to him ,, all of us were crying... he said :"I am going to live until I die and not a moment sooner." (he passed away later that day)so ... Let him live until he dies. 

Make sure that he lives until he dies and not a moment sooner.
hugs

[chook]

It was sad and wonderful to read about Hannah and her Yaya.
When my sister was dying, I told myself I wouldn't waste the time shedding tears whilst she was alive  - plenty of time for that later. But I wish wish my sister and I had talked more about the other big D - Death. She didn't want to and I respected her wishes.
Good on you for opening up the subject

[Dianejt]

Last night after spending a couple hours trying to get Frank settled I  went into the TV room to relax with a cup of tea. Hannah comes in & want me to work on sewing (I am teaching her to hand sew clothes for her dollies). I said I was tired & just wanted to relax for awhile. She then said "after Yaya dies can we sew again". OMG I looked at Christie, Hannahs Mom and said I don't know weather to laugh or cry. Well I cried, it sent me into such a state, I feel like I'm ignoring her but I'm so tired.

[kellyt]

Children are so resilient.  It's sad that isn't something we hold on to as adults.   She will be there for you when yaya has passed.  She will be your rock.  My niece, Kristy, was my rock when my Mom died.  She was 3 at the time.  She helped put things in perspective for me...in a strange way, but it helped anyway.

[Dianejt]

This morning Hannah was at the kitchen table eating her breakfast. Frank had been sitting out in the kitchen in the wheelchair & he was tired and wanted to go rest for awhile in the bedroom so I was wheeling him back in, Hannah said "Nana you are doing such a good job taking care of Yaya"! Frank smiled & said "you are right Hannah!"  More tears, happy ones this morning.

[Sluff]

The innocence of children.. can be so painfully honest and pure.

[monrein]

I want to send a big hug to every person in your house.  Hannah is comfortable with the uncomfortable, speaks of the (for many people) unspeakable and already appreciates the caring that so many take for granted...she didn't get that way by accident.  My guess is she learned it from you all and when it's my turn to die I can only hope that the people around me can be so present.   

[Darthvadar]

Our local Hospice has what they call a Community Re-enablement Unit... It's used to assess older people, and if needed, admit people over sfifty-five for intensive physiotherapy, speech therapy, pain management etc... The general idea is to get them more mobile, independent, and feeling better, both physically and mentally....

Mum was a patient there for three weeks about twelve years ago, and my godson who was about six at the time came with me to visit her... Now as soon as he read the word 'Hospice' over the entrance gates he asked what it was... I had to explain to him the difference between hospital and hospice, and of course that some very sick people die there... He just looked at me and said "Ah... Okay... You mean it's God's Waiting Room"... From the mouths of babes!...

[glitter]

Hannah sounds like a sweet child. After (2 days) my husband died. my oldest child who is developmentally handicapped, was playing Lego's on the floor, and I asked her ' you doing okay Jamie?' she said ' yes I am just playing and letting Dad look down from heaven to watch me be happy' .....I think of that often, kids have such simple innocents.