Transplant at 19...dialysis at 23

[maritza0486]

So I was 17 years old when I was first diagnosed with kidney failure. I am pretty sure I had kidney failure way before that because I had high blood pressure at 14 but was never treated for it. Anyway, I never needed dialysis because my sister tested her self and was a match. I admit, at that age I was terrified of dying. That was all I could think of...was death. But the day of the transplant was a day I could never regret. It was February 5, 2005 and I was 18 going on 19. I stayed a week at the hospital but I have to say, I was more energized than ever and just felt ultimately great and my appetite was wonderful. I was eating healthier, exercising, loving life and all that good stuff. My sister saved my life and helped me realize that it is undeniably beautiful. I made a terrible mistake a year and a half ago when I broke up with the guy I was with for 5 years and was so emotionally wrecked that I began drinking plenty. I caused myself kidney failure again. How much do I regret it? Omg. SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much. I feel terrible for having destroyed an organ that could have lasted me way more years than 3. I know my sister must secretly hate me for it but she has never admitted it. She said it was ok and that she understood my situation. I am now 23 years old and went through my very first dialysis treatment 2 days ago for 2 hours. Yesterday I went again for 2 1/2 hours. The first day was not bad at all. It was almost a breeze. Yes, I was tired a bit but I did not sleep and felt fine after a while of resting and some food. Yesterday was quite different. I threw up while on the dialysis machine. It was embarassing and disgusting and painful and annoying. I was given saline to ease the nausea and since my anemia was severely low, I was given 2 units of a blood transfusion. Before the transfusion, I was given benedryl in case of a possible allergic reaction. Today is my day off but I am already hating dialysis although I have only had 2 treatments. I hate the moment. But I admit, I do like how I am feeling. Tomorrow I go again, yippee. I am going to bring a book to read, my mp3 player, and maybe a crossword puzzle. I have been cramping quite a lot too. I know this is a long story here full of information but I really need to speak to someone who knows about this and who has been through all of this because I talk to my family and friends but of course they dont understand what I am feeling. To add to this dilemma in my life, my veins are small so I have had 2 AV Fistulas done in my arm in the past 2 months. One stopped working so another was performed and that one has been working which I am so happy about. The only thing is that I needed emergency dialysis so they had to put a catheter temporarily in my chest until the fistula matures in another 2 or 3 weeks. This catheter is so annoying. I hate it. I have no muscles in my calves anymore because of the dialysis...I am constantly cramping because of the dialysis...but I do feel more awake and theres not much swelling or puffiness. I dont know if I should feel happy or sad or annoyed or angry about my situation. Im confused right now. I really need someone to talk to. Thanks for listening to whoever reads this entire story of my life. If anything, I am on aol instant messenger...my name is ---> msmaritzam.

[Romona]

 

[okarol]

Sorry you've been through so much. My daughter is also 23, was on hemo for 3 years and got a kidney transplant 2 years ago. Good luck to you, hope to see you on the forum a lot!

[monrein]

   maritza and you have found a very good place to come to with confusion.  We listen really well and will offer lots of information, support and maybe even sometimes advice (that you may or may not want).  The bottom line however is that we care about each other and about trying to make what we each deal with just a little easier.  I'm sorry that you have made the mistakes you did but the main point now is that you learned some important things from them and you need to forgive yourself and move forward by taking the best care possible of yourself.  Post often and I look forward to getting to know more about you.

[G-Ma]

 

[willieandwinnie]

  maritza. I cried reading your story. I'm so sorry that in your short life you have dealt with so much. Stick around with us and you'll find all kinds of information and support and some laughs. Please post often. 

[alrightstill]

Welcome!  I was 12 when I was suddenly diagnosed with ESRD.. Immediatly went on dialysis - at age 15 received a cadaver transplant.  Unlike you, when I went in for the transplant I wasn't entirely afraid of dying.. I was looking at it more as a gift of life.. but I know what you mean.  I lost the kidney shortly after graduating high school and have been on dialysis ever since. 

I'm in the same small vein boat as you.. though they've never tried to put a fistula/graft in. I've been dealing with a cath all these years.  It does suck.. most of all not being able to go swimming or anything! LOL  But I'm used to it by now.

Anyway - this place is wonderful and will provide you with tons of reading material.  Hang in there!  It does get easier.. a little.  :-/

[fluffy]

for bad cramps i would drink a little bit of gatorade. its a huge no no for dialysis patients, but it helped me a bit

[donnia]

You have been through alot.  You have come to the right place for support.  As far as cramping during dialysis, it seems like they are trying to pull to much fluids off.  Have them back off a little.  If you have a laptop, that is another great thing to take to dialysis   In also had a chest port while my fistula matured.  Yes, it is a pain... I hated it, but soon enough, your fistula will be matured and you can start using it

I had a kidney transplant 11 months ago and had a hip replacement 2 weeks ago.  While in surgery, I had an allergic reaction to the antibiotics they used and it attacked my kidney.  I am now taking steroids and back on dialysis to help clean my kidney... hoping to recover.  My kidney may make a full recovery.... it may not... either way, WE are alive and there are options... keep the faith, be strong and be positive.  You are in my prayers.

Best of luck to you.  If you have any questions please ask  someone will have answers.

[Rerun]

Drinking alcohol usually affects the liver not the kidney, so don't beat yourself up over that.  Maybe missing medicine would have shortened your kidney's life? 

Your sister will not regret her gift.  It gave you some time and I bet you will get another chance in no time.

It is okay to scream "Dialysis Sucks".  Yes, we need it to bridge transplants but it still is no fun.

If you have a protable DVD player you could catch up on some movies.

Keep posting.  We understand!!   

[paris]

You are among friends and we really do understand   

[MandaMe1986]

If it is one thing I have learned don't regret the past. Just focus on the present and the futrue. Its all you can do. I know how hard it is to blame yourself and be pissed off. But it isn't going to change the past and it isn't going to make it any better. It just makes you feel like crap. Then you get depressed, and it is just so much harder to deal with everything.  I am so sorry it has been so hard for you.  I understand it and feel for you.  But if I can give you any advice just let the past be the past.   

If you ever need to talk and vet hit me up. You know my AIM or send me a pm.  I am here for you. 

[Maxridex]

welcome sorry I can be a bit emotional But I do give great songs if you want, just to make you feel better in any way.

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