I am working on moving forward and stop being depressed. Come join me.

[jbeany]

I got a wonderful letter from my gdtr in basic training....learned how to throw grenades last week.  Her dad thinks it was ok since she can still write.....oh Lord....

Pull, Toss, Duck, and Pray?

[Romona]

I had my hair done today. I am going to an Amusement Park with my 8 year old tomorrow for a school picnic!
I feel good! 

[G-Ma]

DW..thanks and yes, exactly what you said.
JB..thanks..I didn't know that about grenades.
Paris...I couldn't find cookies until we were done with dinner but did all the people watching while I could..gdtr and dtr in law dragged me in to watch them try on swimsuits, then dinner...bourbon chicken..I had sides of fried rice and steamed veggies...ate 1/4 of it and the rest is in a box for son at home.  Then I saw a Barnes and Noble and you know the rest of the story...they now have my allowance..got fun books for each son and a couple small writing things for gdtr that I can mail in her letters, a couple of sewing mags and absorbed everything I could.  Walked a lot, then sat and more people watching, then came home.  Hopefully I can sleep tonight and tomorrow is D....yahooo.  At least the migraine is gone.....and tomorrow will be a great day for all of us.

[kitkatz]

I went to the gym and swam 42 laps, just over a half of a mile.  I feel sore , but good.

One of the guys at the gym calls me The Little Fishie!

[G-Ma]

Oh Lord, I wish I knew how to swim.  I love water but am scared to death of it.

[willowtreewren]

Has anybody ever felt that you may be depressed but you're not sure because you don't know what you are really feeling other than you don't want to be here but don't want to be anywhere else either so you try to put your emotions into words but there are simply no words that fit what you want to say other than stop the world cause I want to get off so you just go on and try to do your daily activities but not of them seem to work and when you hear something you wanted to hear you no longer want to hear it but you wish you'd not even thought about wanted it.  Huh, anybody ever feel like that?

Dan, have you been in my head lately? Seems like it.

Before reading your post, I was actually trying to communicate just this kind of malaise to my husband. I told him that I have been putting on a good front, thinking that perhaps that front will turn into the real thing. Still working on it.

G-Ma. Thank you so much for your positives. They really help.

Aleta

[paris]

Aleta, I feel the same way so many times.  Like I am putting on a good front, but worried it will all fall around me because of underlying darkness.  Like one day this will all be too overwhelming and there will be no more "front".  Will people still like me, will I still be needed? 

So, tomorrow, I am going to look at some of my newer fabrics to see if I get any inspiration.  I need to make something and feel creative.

[kitkatz]

I feel depressed today.  I cramped at dialysis last night and came of an hour and a half early.  I feel okay. My arm cramped behind where they put the needles.  In addition the tech, who usually does not stick me, hit a nerve in the upper needle.  I pretty much hurt all night long whenever I was awake.  I had to find the position that did not hurt too badly to lie in. Thank the Lord for Tylenol and Benadryl, it dulled the pain for awhile.

But anyway, I plan to go bike riding with my sister today. I am going to try for five miles today. Hopefully the path will be flat. And then off to a staff party at 6:30 in Riverside.

[Hanify]

Thinking of you Kitkatz - hope you feel better today.  I'm really happy cos I managed to make a curtain yesterday.  I had to break it up into little parts (the job - not the curtain) and have a rest in between each part, but I got there.  Whoever would have thought that sewing one lousy curtain could take soooo much energy.

[dwcrawford]

What are you guys going to do in Vegas if you don't gvet energy...  I've already asked my Neph Dr. O for an extra day off.....

[jbeany]

Here, paris - try this!
 Quick, easy, pretty and useful.
http://www.simplicity.com/index.cfm?page=section/classroom/sewprojects/totebag/totebag.htm

If you don't have webbing for handles, cut 4 inch by 24 inch material, and fold into a 1 inch wide strap, and sew down the edges.  I like long handles so it can be slung over the shoulder. (Iron it in half, then fold the edges into the center line, then iron again. . .)

This isn't the pattern I use, but it gets you to the same results in the end. . .

[aharris2]

What are you guys going to do in Vegas if you don't gvet energy...  I've already asked my Neph Dr. O for an extra day off.....

DW, this is a bit off topic, but I have two comments:

First of all, there's no need to take an extra day off from dialysis. Have your center arrange for a day of dialysis in Las Vegas. It is practically effortless to arrange (just make sure you ask at least a month early). Las Vegas is a tourist mecca and the dialysis units cater to tourists. We have visited twice and used Davita South Las Vegas both times. It is equally close to the strip and to Fremont Street. Nice staff and no issues with the care - they even directed us as to where to go for an emergency catheter replacement when it fell out during a treatment. Just do this. It will open doors for you (inside your own head) making it easier to arrange travel the next time. We've done short trips, but we've also traveled weeks at a time, even outside of the country.

Second, regarding energy, don't push it. One has to allow for how they feel. Naps, relaxation, and a good night's sleep have got to be part of the plan. We have found that kidney disease/dailysis are like a "divide by two" function. That's part of why we try to take longer vacations, so that nothing is rushed. Go, don't have unrealistic expectations of yourself and you will enjoy Vegas.

(sorry folks)

[dwcrawford]

Thank you aHarris.  A nurse had told  me to do that but I was a little leary of going to a strange place.  She said to talk to the social worker and she'd arrange it for me.  She also told me about a dialysis tour that one of the patients that went on each year and was going to arrange for me to talk to him.  I appreciate this.  I still have lots of energy and just get so frustrated staying at home all the time.  (2 more weeks until they start usuing the cath and 4 more till it come out.  I think I'll feel better about things then.

[paris]

Sit and visit!  Go to a restaurant and eat and visit!  Play slots and visit!  We are pretty low key and watch out for each other.  Anyone want a deep fried twinkie on Freemont Street?       Aharris is the expert at traveling and planning dialysis. She gives great advice.

Thanks Jbeany!  If I can stay awake long enough, I will give it a try.  I always feel much better when I can create something.  I would love to pictures of your crafts.   

[BigSteve]

Great day yesterday. Both kids and their families were here for the day, from Scottsdale and Ventura
County, CA. Our grandchildren are all girls and they are so much fun together.