Bob's Blog Saturday 4-25-09

Bob Here

Working out and being on dialysis is not exactly a natural mix.

Right after our treatments, our idea of a vigorous workout is walking to the scale without falling down.

But I’m here to tell you that while being on dialysis is not exactly conducive to a good exercise routine, it also doesn’t preclude it.

When I first went on dialysis, one of my first thoughts was, well, that blows any chance I had of being on the cover of “Muscle & Fitness”. The way I felt at that time, I was more likely to be on the cover of “Sickly & Hopeless”.

The first thing you should realize is that it takes time. You shouldn’t expect to go right back to your normal level of activity after your start your treatments.

It’s definitely an adjustment when you first get on, you generally feel pretty weak and thinking about exercise is not exactly a priority.

I made that mistake. After starting the Big D, I gave it a couple of weeks, and then thought, OK, we’re back in the game now, time to get back to our routine.

Before getting sick, I was what could be called a workout fiend. I practically lived at the gym, and did a rigorous combination of cardio and resistance training.

So, here I am, a new dialysis patient, waltzing back into the gym without a clue about what’s ahead of me.

I was working with a personal trainer at the time, and he always had me stretch a little on some mats at the back of the gym, and then had me do a little “warm up run” on the treadmill. So my first time back, we got right back to that routine.

My trainer was big on encouraging words, combined with pushing me harder.

“**C’mon Bob, couple more here, you got it, looking good**”, that kind of thing.

(The **stars** are meant to denote the cheery, upbeat manner with which these phrases were delivered.)

I would always complete the interaction.

“**Yep, feeling good here, got it going**”, etc etc.

The stretching went fine, I was a little stiff, but no major problems.

Then he said, “ok let’s hit the treadmill for our warm-up run.”

I was like, “**right-o, I’m up for it.**”

So I started on the treadmill and he turned around to talk to someone else for a bit.

When he turned around again, I was laying flat on my back, stretched out on the warm-up mat.

At first, he was a little speechless, just staring at me.

Finally, he was like, “Bob, what gives?”

In my stupor, I just kept on with my usual banter, “**no problem, just catching my breath here, gonna get right back to it.**”

He didn’t know exactly what to do, but after repeated failed attempts on my part to get off the mat, he was about ready to call the EMT’s.

I swear, that positive reinforcement was so hard-wired into me that they could have been carting me off on a stretcher, and I still would have been saying things like, “**little setback here, no big deal, be right back.**”

It’s safe to say, I tried to do a little too much, too fast.

So, after temporarily giving up on the full-blown gym routine, I figured I would start slow and work my way up.

My wife and I figured we could walk the neighborhood. Walking is great exercise and you can go at your own pace.

The wife is an avid tennis player, in great shape, and she was more that happy to walk with me.

Of course, our walks presented their own challenges.

She was (and is) in much better shape than me, so at first I had a hard time keeping up with her.

And, I was way too proud (or stubborn) to ask her to slow down.

In addition, when you’re walking your neighborhood, there’s always at least a chance you might encounter a neighbor. Makes sense, right?

It’s not exactly ideal circumstances when you’re so worn out trying to keep up with Speedy Gonzalez that you’re practically slobbering down the front of your shirt and unable to string a sentence together.

This was bound to happen, and when it did, it went about as you’d probably expect.

The wife was like, “hey how are you, good to see you.”

Then I uttered something that sounded like, “uuurgburgufayoo.”

The neighbor just kind of looked at me, then went on with her conversation with the Mrs.

Anyway, we finally got into a routine, I was building up my endurance, the walking was feeling more and more natural.

Then, virtually out of the blue, I dropped the bombshell on my wife that I wanted to start playing tennis with her.

She gave me a look that indicated that she found that about as appealing as having her toenails pulled out with pliers.

Even I’m not sure exactly where the idea came from. I mean I had played some tennis earlier in my life, but probably hadn’t picked up a racket in 20 years.

Finally, she agreed to help get me started, although she was a bit hesitant, and in fairness, I can really understand why.

I mean she’s got a fairly well-established circle of tennis friends, nice, classy people, built up over the years.

And my behavior in public can be a little…shall we say…erratic?

Yes, that’s a nice way of putting it.

So I think she saw a better than average chance of public embarrassment coming out of this whole endeavor.

Her fears became a bit of a reality, when as part of my training, she had me hitting with a ball machine.

The machine just continually feeds you shots and you can get good practice hitting your ground strokes.

But after a while it can get a bit tedious, and as you might know from my previous blogs, tedious and I don’t get along.

So, pretty soon, I started adding sound effects, when I hit. Kind of like a martial arts “Kiai” (think Karate Kid).

This is on a public court, in a group of many, with some of the aforementioned friends always around.

So, she wasn’t exactly wild about this new wrinkle.

She was even less thrilled when I started addressing every ball. Loudly.

It went something like this:

“COME TO PAPA” ‘KIAI’ [Hit]

“TAKE THAT” ‘KIAI’ [Hit]

“I’M ON TO YOU NOW” ‘KIAI’ [Hit]

“YOU’VE COME BACK FOR MORE, YOU FOOL” ‘KIAI’ [Hit]

After a few minutes of this, she had had enough, and she got up to leave, probably hoping people would think she didn’t know who I was.

Of course, I saw an opening here as well.

“AHA, YOU’RE LEAVING, EH?” ‘KIAI’ [Hit]

“YOU FEAR MY DEVELOPMENT AS A PLAYER!” ‘KIAI’ [Hit]

Later, I set the machine up to send me overhead shots, high in the air. On one such shot, I had to back up while looking up at the ball, and I tripped over my own feet.

So, there I was on my back again, but the machine kept slinging balls over and I kept on swinging and talking while I was on the ground.

“I’M NOT BEATEN YET” ‘KIAI’ [Miss]

“THINK I’VE GOT THIS ONE” ‘KIAI’ [Miss]

“OK, MAYBE NOT”

And so on. By this time, of course, the wife was long gone.

But, in the long run, we did ok.

We entered a mixed-doubles league (big-time gutsy move on her part) and finished in second place.

We’re playing in a slightly more advanced league this season and so far we’re 1-1.

So, you can get into an exercise routine even when you’re on dialysis.

In fact, I highly recommend it.

Staying active is critical both physically and in terms of your spirits.

So I strongly encourage you to find a form of exercise or physical activity you like and do it as often as possible.

You’ll be amazed at how quickly your spirits will improve and it will help you physically as well.

I’d very much like to hear about what some others do for exercise. Let me know.

Thanks for reading. I hope everyone has a good week of treatments.

Stay active and Take Care.