Divorced couple remarries 10 years after lifesaving transplant

IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH: Divorced couple remarries 10 years after lifesaving transplant

By Kristen Walsh
For The Patriot Ledger
Posted Mar 23, 2009 @ 06:08 AM
Last update Mar 23, 2009 @ 01:43 PM
HULL —

For better or worse, in sickness and in health are phrases that are especially meaningful to Jim and Bernadette Tobin.

Married in 1965, they divorced 27 years later. But the couple’s love of life and for each other brought them back together, and led them back down the aisle for their second marriage yesterday.

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Even though they reunited several years ago, the Tobins thought 2009 would be a good time to officially become husband and wife again. That’s because it marks the 10-year anniversary of Bernadette donating her kidney to her then ex-husband, Jim.

“I was nervous for my first wedding, but I’m not nervous now,” said Bernadette.

The ceremony took place in the couple’s Hull living room, as their granddaughters spun in their dresses and strained to get a better view from their seats on the sofas. Bernadette, 63, and Jim, 64, recited traditional vows, and then Jim added his own heartfelt message to his wife.

“I’m here today because of your compassionate heart. You saved and changed my life forever, and I will always be grateful for that,” Jim said.

High school sweethearts, the Tobins grew up in Cambridge and later moved to the South Shore. They have two daughters, Bernadette Daley of Weymouth and Michelle Gill of Hull, and five granddaughters, ages four to eleven.

In the 1980s, doctors diagnosed Jim – then in his 40s – with polycystic kidney disease. The ailment had caused heart problems that led to six heart surgeries, and the discovery that the disease was a prime reason so many people in his family had died young.

When he went on dialysis and found out he needed a transplant, his ex-wife immediately wanted to be tested. They’d also learned that the daughter Michelle has the same disease, and if it ever becomes necessary, her sister will give her a kidney.

Bernadette Tobin was a match and volunteered to have the surgery and go through recovery for several months – all in order to save Jim’s life.

Living apart at the time, they recovered together at their daughter’s home, and began to grow close again.

Today, they are both in good health, and enjoying spending time with each other, and hope to watch their grandchildren grow up together.

Jim jokingly proposed to Bernadette several years ago while appearing on a television show. But they didn’t start seriously planning the wedding until a few months ago.

Jim, who is an advisory board member and former selectman and assessor in Hull, works for the Registry of Deeds in Plymouth. Bernadette works as a maternity ward coordinator at South Shore Hospital.

The wedding was casual, but Jim still pulled out all the stops. He went and bought new rings for the ceremony, as well as flowers for each guest.

“This proves that we love each other more today than we ever have,” Jim Tobin said to his wife. “In our family, you are our real hero, and you will be in our hearts forever.”

For the members of the Tobin family, it was a happy moment that they say was only a matter of time.

Jim Macdonald, who is married to Bernadette’s sister Pat and served as Jim’s best man, thought the wedding was perfect, albeit overdue.

“What took them so long? They’re a perfect match,” he said. “It’s been a rough and rocky road, but we always thought they’d get back together.”

After the ceremony and pictures, the family gathered in the kitchen for a champagne toast, before heading to lunch in Cohasset.

“This is very healing for our family,” Michelle Gill said. “It was wonderful.”

Janet Bennett, a justice of the peace from Hull, officiated over the short ceremony, and said it was the first re-marriage between the same couple she had ever performed.

“These are people who have a lot of history. What a great ending to a great story,” Bennett said.

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