No regrets after donating kidney

[okarol]

No regrets after donating kidney

By TaMaryn Waters • DEMOCRAT STAFF WRITER • December 9, 2008

Cathy Schroeder softly touched the small incision marks on her abdomen. A larger one appears just a few inches lower.

The marks will fade, some, with time. But she'll treasure the moments that are forever intertwined by her decision to donate a kidney to Beth Abramowitz, a mother of two children who lives in Scarsdale, N.Y., She learned of Abramowitz's battle with kidney disease after reading a plea on Facebook for potential donors. It was posted by Scott Harris, a former college classmate she once dated.

Schroeder, 37, who was an O-positive blood match, was drawn to try. After several e-mails and one visit, she traveled to New York for the transplant surgery more than two weeks ago and returned to Tallahassee on Nov. 24 with her husband, Drew, and their daughter. Schroeder, along with Abramowitz, 34, are now home recovering.

And Schroeder has no regrets, even though she's moving slower and feels quite sluggish these days. Her energy won't be fully replenished for another two months.

On Friday, she curled her petite body in an over-sized chair in her living room and vividly shared the details before and after the four-hour surgery.

"I felt like I had been bludgeoned from my neck to my thigh," Schroeder said, recalling when she first woke up. "I had obviously underestimated the pain."

But a steady dose of morphine, the hospital staff and her family have helped to ease the discomfort. Even if she had known about the pain before the surgery, she said that wouldn't have stopped her from helping Abramowitz.

"It's kind of like child birth," said Schroeder, who works as the director of communications for the Florida Department of Management Services. "You don't look back at this amazing creature and say that it wasn't worth it. It's worth everything."

Abramowitz feels like she can't find the words that truly express how thankful she is.

"She really saved my life and my family's life," Abramowitz said. "My kids will have a mom for hopefully a long time and my husband will have a wife."

Twelve other people had wanted to be donors for Abramowitz but they were later denied. Tom Zayac, 48, who lives in Andover, N.J., was one of the four who passed the blood-type requirement. Then he was denied for having kidney stones in the final screening.

"I was devastated," Zayac said. "The worst thing I had to do was call Beth and say I don't think this is going to work."

But he prayed that someone would come along.

Abramowitz said she will always remember Schroeder for what she's done.

And both women will have memories that last a lifetime.

Schroeder had a hearty laugh when she thought of the image of the two of them after surgery.

They couldn't walk. But after a while, they had to try. Hunched over and dressed in their hospital gowns, they slowly shuffled toward each other while carrying their portable IV trays.

She also remembers what she told her husband, Drew, before surgery.

"I love you," she said. "It's going to be OK."

Drew Schroeder, a firefighter for the Tallahassee Fire Department, said he didn't sleep the night before the surgery.

"All I wanted was to get to the other side," he said. "I can help with the rehabilitation. But I had no power whatsoever in that operating room."

Schroeder said the doctors advised that she'll have to be careful when it comes to engaging in some activities now that she has only one kidney. But she doesn't plan to make any serious lifestyle changes.

She'll have to shy away from contact sports, such as rugby and flag football. But she didn't do much of those activities before.

She'll still be able to drink alcoholic beverages moderately. But she joked and said she may have to eat five less chicken wings when a plate comes around.

Abramowitz, who she said suffered from extreme fatigue before the surgery, said she still feels lethargic at times.

"It will certainly take time. I'm certainly not complaining," she said. "I'm thankful."

Schroeder believes she was meant to respond to the Facebook plea. It was God's will.

She said Abramowitz's father gave both women a frame bordered in colorful hearts as a gift. A picture was taken of the two mothers during dinner the night before the surgery. They are locked in a shoulder-to-shoulder hug.

The framed picture is the last thing Schroeder looks at every night before she goes to bed.

Schroeder gripped the edges of the frame and stared at it for a moment.

Then she said, "I feel so fortunate. I feel so happy. I will have this bond with her for the rest of my life."

http://www.tallahassee.com/article/20081209/NEWS01/812090323/1010