Brave mum offered a kidney to a loved one.. twice

Brave mum offered a kidney to a loved one.. twice
By Lisa Adams

IT'S a gift of love and a remarkable sacrifice most Scots would struggle with just once in a lifetime.

But brave Sandra Main is among only a handful of people in the world to offer her kidney for transplant twice.

It was hard for her not to cry yesterday after Sandra got the phone call to say she was a perfect match to donate a kidney to her daughter, Diane Borthwick.

It brought back painful memories of exactly 21 years ago when Sandra hit the headlines as the first wife in Scotland to offer a kidney to her husband.

Sandra, 62, of Kilmarnock, says: "I'd do anything for the family I love. The gift of a kidney and a fresh shot of life is the best present anyone could give a loved one. We're just so lucky they found another donor for my husband at the last minute.

"It's given my husband 21 years and a wonderful time with his grandchildren. It's also given me the chance to donate that kidney I once hoped was meant for my husband to my daughter instead."

Now, after finally passing a series of 15 medical tests, Sandra and her daughter Diane, 42, are waiting for a date for the transplant operation which is expected to go ahead at the Western Infirmary, Glasgow, in the new year. Sandra has even lost two stone in weight to guarantee she is in peak condition for the operation.

For single mum-of-three Diane, who has only six per cent kidney function, it is a huge relief. Both her kidneys are slowly dying, strangled by giant cysts the size of oranges which make her stomach look four months pregnant.

The transplant will give her a new lease of life and the energy to care for her children, Conner, 14, Jennifer, 11, and Sandra, eight.

Sadly, all three youngsters have also been diagnosed with polycystic kidney disease, the same devastating problem that Diane and her dad, John, now 67, suffer from.

Diane says: "I always worried about what my dad had to go through. It's frightening now to know I'm going to have to go through what he's been through. It's my turn this time but I know I have to get on with my life.

"I'm just so grateful that my mum cares enough to give me this second chance. Mum has been with me through all the hospital appointments. In fact, she's always 10 minutes early. I'm just so lucky to have her.

"When I was told only six per cent of my kidneys still worked, it felt like somebody had hit me over the head. It was frightening.

Until that moment, I thought I was doing OK. If mum hadn't stepped forward to give me a kidney, the next step would be dialysis three times a week, which I know would take over my life."

Diane's life was turned upside down when just months after her dad had a successful kidney transplant, scans showed she suffered from the same condition. High blood pressure was a first clue that her kidneys were being damaged by cysts and struggling to function.

Diane says: "I was just 21 and at that age when you think you're invincible. I had my whole life in front of me and it never entered my head that I would get unwell, too. I remember crying the day the doctor told me. I was told I had polycystic ovaries as well, which might make it difficult to have children.

"It was particularly hard when they explained there was a 50 per cent chance of me passing polycystic kidney disease to any children I went on to have.

"Over the years, my kidney function would gradually get worse."

Already, Diane's children Conner and Jennifer need annual operations to remove painful kidney stones.

But the development of state of the art new treatments to help shrink kidney cysts gives Diane fresh hope for her children.

Diane says: "As a mum, I can't help feeling guilty that I've passed this terrible disease on to my children.

"That's probably how my dad feels about passing the disease on to me. I have happy, active children but already Jennifer has asked who will give her a kidney when the time comes. I'm lucky to get a kidney from my mum, but who will help my children?

"I'm hoping by the time they're adults, advances in medical research means there will be another solution apart from a kidney transplant. If the cysts get bigger, they kill the kidneys. But doctors are researching a way to use drugs to shrink the cysts so there's less damage."

But for Diane's mum, Sandra, it feels like history repeating itself. She recalls vividly those dark days in the 1980s as she watched husband John weaken from polycystic kidney disease.

As his weight plunged, the disease, which at first forced John to give up a fast-paced job as a managing director, meant dialysis at home using a giant machine at least three times a week.

But kidney failure also threatened to take away his life.

After a painful operation to have a kidney removed in 1986, John was told his only chance of long-term survival was a kidney transplant. His own father had died from the same disease aged just 49. But with three children to support, twins Diane and Bobby as well as elder daughter Caroline, there was everything to live for.

Tests revealed Diane was free of the disease and Bobby has chosen never to be tested. But Sandra felt sure from day one that she wanted to donate a kidney to her husband.

Sandra says: "It took a lot of persuading just to convince the doctors to test me. At first, they said there was no way my blood group would match. Then they said it was unlikely I'd be a tissue match but I was. I wanted to do this for my husband.

"This was the man I'd married aged just 16. Nobody said that would last either but we proved them wrong there, too.

"John went, in a short time, from being an energetic businessman to sleeping most of the time.

"He had blinding headaches and suffered crippling sickness. He was on death's door."

But only two days after surgeons confirmed they'd accepted Sandra as a living donor, kidneys from a dead donor became available. The transplant went ahead in November 1987.

Only hours later, fresh colour in John's cheeks showed the operation was a success. After just a week, he went home.

Months later, he and Sandra bought an acre of land in Ayrshire and launched a new business, the Craigknowe Kennels and Cattery - a dream they'd discussed when John was ill but were finally able to realise.

Sandra says: "We wrote a letter to thank the family who were brave enough to donate their loved one's organs.

"They've lasted a happy 21 years so far and we're hoping many more.

"Now we're looking forward to Diane getting the same chance. I jumped in the air when I heard I was through the tests. It's my chance to give her back her life."

"We wrote to thank the family who donated their loved one's organs. They have lasted for a happy 21 years so far'

http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/lifestyle/real-life-stories/2008/11/05/brave-mum-offered-a-kidney-to-a-loved-one-twice-86908-20870588/