Jealous of healthy people??

[angieskidney]

This might start fights .. but oh well .. this is in offtopic. Don't like it .. do what you want.

Anyway, I got to thinking. I have been sick all my life so for me dialysis might not seem like most of you see it. For me .. when I was a teen I was "non-compliant" as I just wanted to "live my life before it is too late" and I didn't want to be tied to this life.

But as I get older I see more and more patients now that I am on hemo instead of PD. And most have NOT been sick since birth so they have went through something I did not go through: The feeling of healthy life taken from them and feeling of jealousy of "healthy" people who claim to understand or who try hard to understand but is never good enough.

So I got to thinking .. are we jealous of healthy people? Am I odd because I am not like most dialysis patients? Do I really belong here?

Have your say now or not.

Spelling Error in Topic Title Corrected - Bajanne2000/Moderator
EDITED:  Thread moved to proper section - Goofynina/Moderator

[BigSky]

Personally I am not jealous.

They way I figure it , it could always be worse.

[goofynina]

I do not care for this topic at all

[Sara]

Obviously I don't have kidney failure, but I do deal with another health problem that affects most aspects of my life, and could possibly cause worse (not worse than kidney failure, just worse than I have now) problems/issues later in my life.  Yes, I am jealous of people that don't have to deal with it.

[Ohio Buckeye]

I would not say I am jealous of healthy people but sometimes I think
how did they get so lucky. Especially someone who has really abused their body with drugs,
etc. and I don't smoke, drink, even coffee, and have walked and exercised and tried
to do things to keep my health and they still have their health and here I am. I inherited lousy
genes.  I have thought about that before.  But I wouldn't call it jealousy I don't think.
I see so many people worse off than me at the clinic. I am grateful that I did not get terribly ill
like some of you on the site have.  Going on dialysis was easier than burying my husband for me.


 

[sandman]

I have something to say as to this may just be my final post here.

Look, I know that I am NOT a renal patient, nor am I a legal spouse to one ( yet ) nor am I in the medical profession but I honestly don't see why that would make any difference as to my earning acceptance here.  My girlfriend Angie is a patient and she is here on these forums seaking answers to her questions and wishing to converse with fellow patients and I am here along with her, trying to learn and share whatever information I can.  I mean, maybe I do need to earn a little more respect here but come on?  Lets just be serious here for a second.  Now sure, a lot of the topics here are not always purely 100% kidney related and is used to help fellow patients relax and unwind, try to forget or at least exercise some humor and joke about their problems which I think is great.  But don't hate me because I am "healthy".  Hate me because I have done something unpleasant to you personally.

Now it has been brought to my attention that I am NO LONGER welcomed to post here simply because I am not like the rest of you here.  I have not earned the merit in which to sympathise, converse or even sit in the same room as the rest of you?  It pains me to say this but that has to be the most hypocritical thing I have ever heard in my life!!  Now true, I don't suffer from kidney disease and hopefully, I never will but saying to me that my input is irrelevant and unwarranted simply because I am not like the rest of you is just plain wrong.  If that is how I will be treated here then so be it.  Epoman, I know you say I am welcomed here but you keep on contradicting yourself.  There is no need to ban me.  I will never post in "your" forums again.  But I do have one request.  In the future, if for some reason, another "healthy" person comes to these boards, please try to have enough decency to explain your ground rules to THEM in your public rules section.

If you are a "healthy" person, meaning that you have fully functional kidneys, don't bother posting here because whatever you may have to share, WILL NOT BE WELCOMED HERE!

Good bye IHD.  This is a site I will miss. 

[Sara]

Who said that to you?   

[livecam]

I think jealous is not the term but I can tell ya that when I ended up on a machine I started working overtime trying to get myself off the damn thing.  Dialysis sucks and I hated every minute of it.  There is a reason I push transplants to anyone who will listen and that is because hating dialysis should be a temporary problem.  In Angie's case she's been sick her entire life.  I think she has accomplished alot considering the crap she has had to put up with since she was a little kid.  I hope she is looking at different transplant centers in terms of going where the odds are best and looking at potential living donors as well.  Nobody likes this but for many of us there is a way out.

[sandman]

Okay, maybe I took my comments a bit rash and out of context.  Please be aware that I ( just like most of you ) am quite emotional and take things to heart very easy.  So I hope you can understand my stand point to some touchy subjects and can find it in your hearts to forgive my sudden re-actions, even if they were a bit miss leading.

But don't hate me because I am "healthy".  Hate me because I have done something unpleasant to you personally.

This is the first example of something I took rather personally and maybe even took it out of context but there was a statement made by rerun in the "you might be a dialysis patient if..." thread where she said, and I quote: " you might be a dialysis patient if you secretly hate healthy people. "  I'm sorry but even though it may not have been directed at me personally, I did take offense to that remark.  My posting later in that same thread was NOT meant to be taken as a offensive gesture.  I was just trying to join in on the standing joke.

Now it has been brought to my attention that I am NO LONGER welcomed to post here simply because I am not like the rest of you here.

This part was a seriously miss understanding on my part.  When I was informed about the above mentioned thread, I miss understood and in my mind, was let to believe that I shouldn't post in ANY kidney related threads any more.  Please forgive me but I do sometimes tread into dangerous waters but unfortunately, it's not because I didn't see the danger sign.  The reason is because the warning sign simply wasn't there.  So IF someone posts a topic in an open to the public thread, strictly meant for dialysis patients only, please try to make note of that in the first post.

If you are a "healthy" person, meaning that you have fully functional kidneys, don't bother posting here because whatever you may have to share, WILL NOT BE WELCOMED HERE!

Now this was in MY WORDS!  I didn't quote anyone to this fact.  It was an interpretation ( by me ) to a statement made by epoman in a few older posts. 

Who said that to you?   

No one said that to me out right.  Please be aware that Epoman never actually said these exact words.  I can't recall exactly what was said but his statements left that impression on me.

[kevno]

I too Have had kidney problem all my life, all my friends are healthy. When I am out playing snooker/Drinking (I have shorts, they have pints) I am their equal. Never thought about. This thread is the only time I have ever thought about it, most likely will never think about again. If you start getting jealous of other people. That can only get you bitter inside. Just think that you are as good as anyone. No need to be jealous

[goofynina]

Very well said Kevno...couldnt of said it better myself...

[angieskidney]

Thanks for everyones honesty!  I am not jealous of healthy people but I DO want to be like one person! THIS person named Bill: (Watch this Google vid made by a kidney patient). He is an inspiration. He gives me hope just seeing all the things he has accomplished even though he has been on dialysis since 1990 all this time.

[goofynina]

Wow, that was a great piece of video there Angie,  thanks for sharing that,  he sure can be an inspiration to us all. 

[Bajanne]

Just finished watching the video.  I was impressed out of my skin!  Thanks for sharing it with us, Angie!

[angieskidney]

no problem!  It was just too good not  to share with everyone!

[Rerun]

Don't tell me that you hemo dialysis patients (Attention: Not You Sandsman) have never been sitting in a stadium full of thousands of people and thought "Hmmmm everyone here has two kidneys and I don't have any".   It may be "jealousy" but I have thought about it.  I know that I have a functioning liver blah, blah heart, blah blah, lungs, blah blah.  BUT - I live on a machine.  Yes, I envy (better word) someone out jogging when I'm on my way to dialysis.  Yes, I hate it when I can't go with friends because I have dialysis! 

The reason you got offended at my "You know you are a dialysis patient if you secretly hate healthy people" Sandsman, is because YOU ARE NOT SICK!  SO, go a head and leave.  Bu Bye~

[sandman]

The reason you got offended at my "You know you are a dialysis patient if you secretly hate healthy people" Sandsman, is because YOU ARE NOT SICK!  SO, go a head and leave.  Bu Bye~

I think the reason you hate people like me is because your life ( as you remember it ) was taken away from you where people like Angie never had that chance since she was sick since birth.   

But anyway.  I think I will stick around just so you have someone to secretly hate, close by.    I feel so welcomed here. 

[Rerun]

I have to admit you are right on one thing.  Angie probably doesn't know any different.  Although she had a transplant and if she would have taken her medication she would probably still have it.  I have faith she will do better next time around. 

Glad you are staying around.  I need someone new to torment.   

[Sara]

if she would have taken her medication she would probably still have it. 

And how do you know that?

[Rerun]

She has said many time that she didn't take her medication and was not compliant.

[livecam]

This isn't my battle but if you read about how her kidney failure went it was just a general wearing out of the kidney not a sudden rejection.  11 years is a pretty good run for a cadaveric kidney and most perfectly compliant patients lose them way short of that.  True it is not cool to be uncompliant but the facts here are that the kidney did very well during what were intermittant periods of noncompliance.  With that said most of us are full of piss and vinegar anyway because of the side effects of this disease both mental and physical. So now lets be nice.

[sandman]

I have to admit you are right on one thing.  Angie probably doesn't know any different.  Although she had a transplant and if she would have taken her medication she would probably still have it.  I have faith she will do better next time around. 

Glad you are staying around.  I need someone new to torment.   

Well, she did loose a promousing career and a life of future dreams when she lost her transplant.  Maybe not quite as much as say someone like you but her experiences when she lost it were devastating to say the least.

I'm looking farward to your torments. 

[angieskidney]

Rerun is correct I had stopped my meds and would have probably had my transplant longer if I had taken them like a compliant little patient 

And after talking to Epoman I realize even I do get jealous like when someone is drinking a huge drink on a hot day!! 

most of us are full of piss and vinegar anyway because of the side effects of this disease both mental and physical. So now lets be nice.

Ha ha yes I know that is me (all of us) Well maybe not full of piss but we know what you mean

I have to admit you are right on one thing.  Angie probably doesn't know any different.  Although she had a transplant and if she would have taken her medication she would probably still have it.  I have faith she will do better next time around. 

Glad you are staying around.  I need someone new to torment.   

I'm looking farward to your torments.

I like it when everyone gets along After all we are more than a community! We are family! Am I right? 

[Epoman]

OK, so we can all agree that it is human nature to be "jealous" of others, and I am just speaking for myself but yes I am jealous of healthy people, do I hate them? Of course not, that would mean I would hate my entire family who are all perfectly healthy and I don't hate them I love them all. But I believe any dialysis patient who says they are not jealous at least "sometimes" is a damn liar. What I do "hate" is when I meet someone who has no idea what dialysis even means. But I don't hate them directly I "hate" the fact that I DO know what dialysis means. Or I "hate" when I see gang bangers running the streets shooting and killing people while I live hooked to a machine, but again I don't hate the gang bangers, what I do hate is that life is unfair. But as I have learned it does no good to sit there and feel sorry for yourself. Just make the best of what you got and remember that there is ALWAYS someone worse off then you, if you doubt that just go to the local "children's burn ward".

I feel at this website we are a big family with new additions (members) everyday. We have our ups and downs like ALL families and we will have disagreements, arguments and flat out fights but in the end we are all still a family. And just like in all families there will be certain family MEMBERS you do not like or wish they were not a part of the "family" that also applies to our situation here, some people may dislike other members at times but try to remember we are all affected by this horrible disease whether by being a patient, spouse, significant other, family member, employee, If you are some how connected then you are welcome here, but remember we all are going to have different views and opinions at times and tempers may flare and things may get a little out of control and we may say things to each other that may be taken out of context or misconstrued but try to remember they are just emotionless words and it is much different than talking to someone face to face.

Some final words for those who dislike certain members, you don't have to like each other but you DO have to respect each other, bottomline.

And now at Angie's request I am LOCKING this thread.

THREAD LOCKED - Epoman, Owner/Admin