My Essay

[Mariposa]

I would like to share a copy of my essay "A Memory of Butterfly Wings" it was the 2004 Ikidney.com  Essay Contest - 1st Place Winner.


After 12 years of living dialysis free, I faced transplant failure. It was difficult to accept for I knew very well the life that was awaiting me. I would once again have to go through the process of hemodialysis week-after-week, month-after-month, and year-after-year. I struggled through the feelings of anger, hopelessness, and finally acceptance. I thank family and friends for being there, for holding my hand and wiping away the tears...
 
But, most of all, I'd like to thank a Butterfly.
 
I clearly remember the day. It was warm. The sun was shining brightly, and I was kneeling in my garden pruning the Shasta daisies. My heart was heavily burdened, and my Soul felt like it could never be mended. How could I face going back on dialysis, being tied to a machine again, week- after-week, and month-after-month?
 
As I tended to the flowers, a Butterfly came fluttering near the daisies. I was surprised, for she came so close and began dancing around me. Every so often, she would come and land on my hands. As I watched her, I noticed that, although she had a broken wing, she danced as if she was perfection. She played with me for a while and then, just as she came, she flew away. I cried there in the open sun for she reminded me of myself, a Soul with broken wings.
 
She came to visit me that afternoon to tell me "fly" in spite of your imperfections, "dance" in spite of your limitations, for life is beautiful and worth dancing to. An important lesson, God's message sent to me on Butterfly Wings, a reminder that Life goes on, that the sun still shines, and that, after the storm, there are still rainbows to be seen. That no matter how winding the road, within us is the strength and the courage to carry on.

[okarol]

  Nice!

[devon]

Inspiring!  Thanks!


As I sit during Dx, I will try to imagine myself a butterfly warming its wings one beautiful, sunny day.

-Devon

[Joe Paul]

 

[monrein]

http://ihatedialysis.com/forum/index.php?topic=8308.msg164346#msg164346

Pelagia posted this photo of a butterfly with a broken wing sitting on a zinnia.  The perfect accompaniment to your Mariposa essay.

[G-Ma]

Beautiful thought provoking "essay" and "photograph".  Thanks both of you.
Ann

[pelagia]

Mariposa - Thanks for posting the essay. 

[Mariposa]

I just saw the picture of the butterfly on the zinnia posted by Pelagia it is beautiful. The butterfly I saw that day was a pale yellow cabbage butterfly. That was about 7 years ago. About 2 weeks ago I saw another cabbage butterfly with a broken wing a little  reminder to continue to enjoy life inspite of the lows that afflict us in our daily lives. I have always felt that life is what you make of it and I also feel that i'm not a person that is tied to dialysis, i'm a person living life who goes to dialysis.