I Hate Dialysis Message Board

Dialysis Discussion => Dialysis: Centers => Dialysis: Workers => Topic started by: LifeOnHold on August 20, 2005, 09:19:37 PM

Title: Dar's Guide To Dialysis Nurses
Post by: LifeOnHold on August 20, 2005, 09:19:37 PM


† † †After four years at my dialysis clinic, I discovered that there were eight different types of nurses. They are:


† † †#1 The Brute

† † †Puts his/her weight behind the needle. "Advances" the needle
directly into your spleen. Feels the need to teach your graft a
lesson, because he/she is always chooses the trouble spots. Ignores
patient discomfort that warns of infiltration, because "We HAVE to
get these needles in!" By the time you're hooked up, you want to go
home!

     Warning sign that your nurse may be a Brute: If he or she constantly
asks, "Are you STILL using lidocaine?"
 


† † †#2 The Finagler

† † †A timid nurse who fears causing the patient pain, which results in
him/her inserting the needles 1/300th of a millimeter at a time. He/she
wiggles, rolls and twists the needles sloooowly, thinking that this
is "less painful." Actually, what he/she REALLY fears is
infiltrating the patient, convinced that the "Bosses" will use it to
get them fired.



† † †#3 The Get-In-Get-Outer

† † †Confident, business-like, and far too rare! Knows which spots to
avoid, inserts the needles into your graft, gets the machine running
and gets out of your hair. Asks for assistance when necessary, but
can handle most emergencies alone.

CAUTION: If you get this nurse too often, it can aggravate the
effects of The Brute, Finagler, and Aztec Two-Stepper, Mangler, and
Rosie the Riveter.



† † †#4 The Aztec Two-stepper

† † †Hooks you up fine. The fun begins when the machine keeps alarming.
Then the Aztec Two-Stepper springs into action-- yanking, pushing
and pulling the needles in an ill-fated attempt at avoiding
repositioning them. To this nurse, re-doing needles is admitting
defeat, and he/she will wrap your arm in six pounds of paper tape
before pulling out an uncooperative needle. It's easy to spot the
victim of The Aztec Two-Stepper-- just look for the patient with the
contorted arm position and pained look as each time he/she relaxes
the tiniest bit, the machine starts alarming again.



† † †#5 The Oblivious

† † †This refers to attitude towards patients, not lack of experience.
This nurse can walk right past a patient who's passing out and
feebly calling for help. If The Oblivious would have been paying
attention to the appearance of the patient, he/she would have
noticed the signs of imminent fainting (restlessness, panting,
wiping face with hand) and the episode could have been avoided. The
Oblivious also has trouble deciding which side of the unit an alarm
is on, when to give antibiotics, and when to refill jugs. This is
the type of person who gets evicted from an apartment for
non-payment of rent.

CAUTION: May be passive-aggressive in disguise!



† † †#6 The Mangler

† † †Thinks every graft is like the perfect textbook model from nursing
school, and that every patient's graft is the same. This leads to
intense drilling as The Mangler tries to shove the needle into a
non-existant space. Wanders around in your arm like it's a National
Geographic special. Forgets to use clamps and stands there
bewildered as your blood flies all over the place. Curses equipment.
Unlike The Finagler, The Mangler gives not a damn about
infiltration. "Hey, we all do it sometime!" is The Mangler Motto.



† † †#7 The Wolf-Crier

† † †Cousin of The Finagler, The Wolf-Crier lacks confidence in an
emergency and jumps ship the minute anything happens. Is unaware of
basic dialysis facts that even the patients know.
Here are a few calls of The Wolf-Crier:

     "Miiiiiike!"
     "Maaaaaary!"
     "Lindaaaaa!"

     Good news: These nurses seldom stay employed for very long.



† † †#8 Rosie the Riveter

† † †A conglomeration of The Finagler, Aztec Two-Stepper, and Mangler.
Thinks it's important to know how many ways a needle WON'T go in,
too. And guess whose arm will be the guinea pig?

     Rosie has a production-line mentality, with a self-imposed deadline
of 6 p.m. Woe betide the tardy patient! Extra riveting is in your
immediate future!


† † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † ***
† † † † † † † † † † †
I showed this article to the nurses at my dialysis unit, and they loved it. I'd been afraid that feelings would be hurt, but they considered my writing to be a wakeup call... we now have far fewer Brutes and Manglers! I'm sure I've benefitted all of my fellow patients by creating this article. Personally, I'm glad that suffering finally created some good!
Title: Re: Dar's Guide To Dialysis Nurses
Post by: Epoman on August 22, 2005, 06:17:45 PM
Very nice guide, thanks for sharing. What I wouldn't give to be able to stick some of the techs/nurses I've known.
Title: Re: Dar's Guide To Dialysis Nurses
Post by: BlackJack on September 23, 2005, 01:30:35 PM
You showed it the the nurses and they "loved it"?  I've worked dialysis for many years and I've never worked with a group who would have loved that.  If the nurses and techs made up a little story regarding the various shortcomings of the patients, I suppose the patients would "love it" too?  In any line of work, there are people who for various reasons, don't belong there.  Dialysis is no different.  Your little poem is outside the realm of "constructive criticism" and shows a bitterness and anger within you rather than exposing the legitimate shortcomings of the staff.  I continually strive to be better and I always ask the patients for their input on cannulation, fluid goals, and other treatment issues.  Only you know the spirit in which your story was created but........Count me as a nurse who doesn't "love it".
Title: Re: Dar's Guide To Dialysis Nurses
Post by: LifeOnHold on September 23, 2005, 08:17:14 PM
Sorry you didn't like it, but ALL of the problems I wrote about were things that I've experienced as a long-term dialysis patient.

I thank God that my nurses have a much better sense of humor than you seem to have.
Title: Re: Dar's Guide To Dialysis Nurses
Post by: BlackJack on September 23, 2005, 09:43:12 PM
I have a good sense of humor if something is funny.  I seriously doubt that this piece was written with humor in mind.  Only you know that.  You make a lot of assumptions about why these various types behave as you allege they do.  I too am thankful that not all patients are as bitter as yourself.   
Title: Re: Dar's Guide To Dialysis Nurses
Post by: LifeOnHold on September 23, 2005, 09:53:59 PM
Why do you feel the need to come to a site called 'I hate dialysis' and attack a patient?

That's not very nurse-like of you.
Title: Re: Dar's Guide To Dialysis Nurses
Post by: Epoman on September 23, 2005, 10:51:18 PM
You showed it the the nurses and they "loved it"?† I've worked dialysis for many years and I've never worked with a group who would have loved that.† If the nurses and techs made up a little story regarding the various shortcomings of the patients, I suppose the patients would "love it" too?† In any line of work, there are people who for various reasons, don't belong there.† Dialysis is no different.† Your little poem is outside the realm of "constructive criticism" and shows a bitterness and anger within you rather than exposing the legitimate shortcomings of the staff.† I continually strive to be better and I always ask the patients for their input on cannulation, fluid goals, and other treatment issues.† Only you know the spirit in which your story was created but........Count me as a nurse who doesn't "love it".

I don't think you understand the relationship some patients have with techs/nurses. I know if I had wrote a list like that the techs would find it amusing. You mention shortcomings of patients, well you know what we have a right to have shortcomings you and other techs/nurses are there to do a job and the persons doing that job should be well trained and have empathy for patients. I have seen MANY techs and nurses in my 12+ years and MANY fit those above descriptions to a tee. Just because you strive to be better (I commend you for doing so.) doesn't mean others do. I personally feel that all techs and nurses who go into the dialysis field should have 2 dialysis needles stuck in their arm to get an understanding of the pain dialysis patients go through. Many techs I have seen are so poorly trained it's appalling. I have also seen some nurses who should never be nurses in the first place. Is "Lifeonhold" bitter and angry? Maybe and she has earned that right with over a decade of putting up with poorly skilled techs who have no idea what it is like to be chronically sick.

Please not misconstrue my reply to this thread, I am in no way trying to flame you or trying to start an argument. I welcome you to the board and I hope you post more and continue to provide us with your perspective.
Title: Re: Dar's Guide To Dialysis Nurses
Post by: BlackJack on September 24, 2005, 07:55:14 AM
There is no argument intended.  If this is just all one-way though, forget it, I won't be back.  I think Life on Hold's perception that this has been an "attack" is a case of dishing but not taking.  Perhaps she has also forgotten that she posted it in the "workers" section of the board.  I don't even go into the "patients" section to "attack" anyone.  Anyway, I won't pursue it any further.  She has a right to post it and I have a right to not like it although I guess I don't have a right to express my dislike.   I think I already understand that any dissent will be taken as attack here.
 Sure, it's a job, but we're not paid enough to be punching bags.  Do all our dignity, feelings, and emotions get checked at the time clock?  I fully agree that many nurses and techs are below par.  However, have you noticed that not many people are battering down the doors to work in chronic dialysis facilities?  It's not high on the list of places to be employed in healthcare and this lack of supply means that the bad apples stay.  It's not right, but it is what it is.  Denigrating poems won't affect the supply and demand of the labor markets that exist.  Does anyone have a right to be angry and bitter?  I don't know.  What has happened over the past 10 years is water under the bridge and all that anger will shorten your life.  I don't know.
I've never bought into the theory that dialysis nurses and techs "take two in the arm" to learn empathy.  I don't think an ER nurse needs to take a bullet in the head and I've never understood why police officers need to be maced and tasered.  It's a silly infliction of pain and a method of forced empathy.  I've had a lot of painful dental work done and it would bring me no satisfaction to have my dentist feel the same things he is inflicting on me.  I simply don't get that mentality.  Also, I feel that cannulation is somewhat like hitting a fastball.  You can hone it, but the basic hand-eye skill is either there or it isn't and taking two needles in the arm, while it may teach you empathy, probably won't do much to improve cannulation skills.  And improvement is what you want, right?  Or do you simply want people to  feel what you feel?
 
Title: Re: Dar's Guide To Dialysis Nurses
Post by: BlackJack on September 24, 2005, 08:29:30 AM
My apologies.  I didn't read closely enough.  I thought that the "workers" section was for dialysis workers to come and discuss issues.  I closer look reveals that it is for patients to talk about the workers.  You all certainly have a right to do this, but it's certainly not the place for me to be.  I'm not a cheerleader with my eyes closed, but I am a proponent and I do stick up for dialysis workers.  Nearly every site I've been to (especially DEO) is simply a place to come and rip on the workers and the industry.  I don't need it.  If I feel like being a punching bag, I"ll just go to work.  Good luck to all.
Title: Re: Dar's Guide To Dialysis Nurses
Post by: Epoman on September 24, 2005, 11:08:08 AM
There is no argument intended.† If this is just all one-way though, forget it, I won't be back.† I think Life on Hold's perception that this has been an "attack" is a case of dishing but not taking.† Perhaps she has also forgotten that she posted it in the "workers" section of the board.† I don't even go into the "patients" section to "attack" anyone.† Anyway, I won't pursue it any further.† She has a right to post it and I have a right to not like it although I guess I don't have a right to express my dislike.† †I think I already understand that any dissent will be taken as attack here.
 Sure, it's a job, but we're not paid enough to be punching bags.† Do all our dignity, feelings, and emotions get checked at the time clock?† I fully agree that many nurses and techs are below par.† However, have you noticed that not many people are battering down the doors to work in chronic dialysis facilities?† It's not high on the list of places to be employed in healthcare and this lack of supply means that the bad apples stay.† It's not right, but it is what it is.† Denigrating poems won't affect the supply and demand of the labor markets that exist.† Does anyone have a right to be angry and bitter?† I don't know.† What has happened over the past 10 years is water under the bridge and all that anger will shorten your life.† I don't know.
I've never bought into the theory that dialysis nurses and techs "take two in the arm" to learn empathy.† I don't think an ER nurse needs to take a bullet in the head and I've never understood why police officers need to be maced and tasered.† It's a silly infliction of pain and a method of forced empathy.† I've had a lot of painful dental work done and it would bring me no satisfaction to have my dentist feel the same things he is inflicting on me.† I simply don't get that mentality.† Also, I feel that cannulation is somewhat like hitting a fastball.† You can hone it, but the basic hand-eye skill is either there or it isn't and taking two needles in the arm, while it may teach you empathy, probably won't do much to improve cannulation skills.† And improvement is what you want, right?† Or do you simply want people to† feel what you feel?
 

I want improvement, I want techs and nurses who truly care and granted some do. But the dialysis field is a specialty and should not be entered just so you only have to work 3 days a week and get overtime. I think we both agree that there are techs who do not care and are only there for a paycheck. And please do not tell me the money is not there, I have seen some techs paychecks and with their level of education they do quite nicely. But anyway back on subject I too agree that the skill is either there or it isn't. But I still stand by my stance that techs should be stuck with needles, however you do make valid points about the ER nurse. And I will reevaluate my stance but for now maybe it's my bitterness that is making me have that stance. But again I welcome your view points and opinions to the board. It helps to get an employees perspective on a dialysis related situation.

You wrote "She has a right to post it and I have a right to not like it although I guess I don't have a right to express my dislike." of course you have a right to express your dislikes. That is why this board is here for people to express how they really feel. Yes this board was created for patients however anyone can come and post, family, friends, techs, nurses, other workers. But try to understand the "board" in general will be more on the side of the patient since the board was created by a patient.
Title: Re: Dar's Guide To Dialysis Nurses
Post by: Epoman on September 24, 2005, 11:14:24 AM
My apologies.† I didn't read closely enough.† I thought that the "workers" section was for dialysis workers to come and discuss issues.† I closer look reveals that it is for patients to talk about the workers.† You all certainly have a right to do this, but it's certainly not the place for me to be.† I'm not a cheerleader with my eyes closed, but I am a proponent and I do stick up for dialysis workers.† Nearly every site I've been to (especially DEO) is simply a place to come and rip on the workers and the industry.† I don't need it.† If I feel like being a punching bag, I"ll just go to work.† Good luck to all.

No apologies necessary. Please see my post above this one for a reply to this post. I am glad you stick up for the workers. And I welcome you back to express your feelings. Feel free to rant and rave too. But like I said in the above post This board will lean more to the side of the patient since we are the ones who live with "Dialysis" 24 hours a day 7 days a week, unlike techs or nurses who only "See" it 8-12 hours a day just 3 days a week.

I mean this in the most respectful way possible and in a joking manner to help lighten the situation. Since you are a defender of dialysis techs/nurses (as you stated "but I am a proponent and I do stick up for dialysis workers"  ) you should start a web site called "ihatedialysispatients.com"  ;) 
Title: Re: Dar's Guide To Dialysis Nurses
Post by: BlackJack on September 24, 2005, 11:39:41 AM
Fair enough Epoman.  You are very level-headed and it is appreciated.  Perhaps I need to try harder to see both sides of things.  Thanks and have a nice weekend. 
Title: Re: Dar's Guide To Dialysis Nurses
Post by: Epoman on September 24, 2005, 12:00:43 PM
Fair enough Epoman.† You are very level-headed and it is appreciated.† Perhaps I need to try harder to see both sides of things.† Thanks and have a nice weekend.†

Thank you and please come back and tell us some stories so we too can see the "other" side of dialysis. :) Enjoy your weekend too.
Title: BlackJack's right about DEO!
Post by: LifeOnHold on September 24, 2005, 06:59:51 PM
BlackJack, you're right about DEO (as much as I hate to admit it!  :)  )

I used to be a frequent poster there, but I was always getting attacked for saying that I was in a good unit with a lot of good nurses and techs-- I was accused of being 'industry', a doctor getting kickbacks, and all other kinds of crap that showed me that nobody was really reading what I'd written... if they'd actually read my posts, they'd have known I was a patient.

The last straw was when someone posted a story about a New York patient who had been kicked out of a dialysis unit and then came back and shot a nurse-- they were trying to say that this guy became crazed because of 'Jiffy Lube dialysis!'  And then I got attacked for saying that if 'short dialysis' caused mental problems, we should all be shooting our nurses, how come that's not happening!  (Yes, it was a free-for-all over there... they really don't like any 'facts' that imply that anything is a patient's fault.)

So even though BlackJack might think I hate nurses, I do stand up for them, and I do understand that patients do rotten things, too.
Title: Re: Dar's Guide To Dialysis Nurses
Post by: BlackJack on September 24, 2005, 08:03:01 PM
I went over there and read your replies.  Very rational.  I felt bad about our sparring and perhaps I did not read your story with an open mind and a sense of humor.  If the nurses accepted it and it did cause them to improve their performance, then that is all that matters.  I think we all agree that the system is deficient and needs lots of improvements.  I too, have seen some hideous things in the chronic units.  Techs that literally cannot do basic subtraction and therefore remove too much fluid right up to unit administrators who won't leave the office.  Anyway, I'm glad your story helped.

On a side note: is that you in the picture?  If you don't mind, what caused your kidney failure?  You don't have to answer, but I am curious.  Thanks. 
Title: Re: Dar's Guide To Dialysis Nurses
Post by: BlackJack on September 24, 2005, 08:06:29 PM
Oops......I read your story in the introduction.  Still learning my way around the site.  Thank you.
Title: Nope... that's Dido! :)
Post by: LifeOnHold on September 24, 2005, 08:37:38 PM
BlackJack, that's Dido in the photo... I picked her as an avatar because I do one of her songs, "Thank You," at karaoke.
Title: Re: Nope... that's Dido! :)
Post by: Epoman on September 24, 2005, 09:35:55 PM
BlackJack, that's Dido in the photo... I picked her as an avatar because I do one of her songs, "Thank You," at karaoke.

Well I'm glad you guys resolved your situation. :)

Yeah that's an avatar that you can choose in your profile settings. Or you can UPLOAD your own avatar. See mine for an example of one I chose. I may choose a different one but for now I wanted to show how you can have any avatar you want not just the choices on this board. Feel free to add your own avatar this goes out to all members.
Title: Re: Dar's Guide To Dialysis Nurses
Post by: Rerun on September 29, 2005, 10:08:17 PM
Avatar:  n.  1. Hinduism a god's coming down in bodily form to the earth; incarnation of a god  2. any incarnation or embodiment, as of a quality or concept in a person.   (Webster's New World Dictionary)

For those too stupid to know what that was.  Not that I had to look it up!  Just trying to help those weaker than I....... ;D 
Title: Re: Dar's Guide To Dialysis Nurses
Post by: Epoman on September 29, 2005, 10:41:12 PM
Avatar:† n.† 1. Hinduism a god's coming down in bodily form to the earth; incarnation of a god† 2. any incarnation or embodiment, as of a quality or concept in a person.† †(Webster's New World Dictionary)

For those too stupid to know what that was.† Not that I had to look it up!† Just trying to help those weaker than I....... ;D†

Actually here's a link for a more cyber definition. http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=avatar  ;)
Title: Re: Dar's Guide To Dialysis Nurses
Post by: Jamie on December 01, 2005, 03:08:12 PM
Lifeonhold,
  I must say I just read your list on different nurse's and personally I think it was one of the funnest things I had ever read.
  I guess when I read I'm saying at the same time (while laughing)this is so true if its O.K. with you I would like to print it my self and bring it to my unit too. I think they would get a kick out of it.....Jamie-G

www.jamiegmagic.com
Title: Re: Dar's Guide To Dialysis Nurses
Post by: LifeOnHold on December 01, 2005, 06:11:11 PM
Sure, go ahead... just write "Written by Dar from  Massachusetts" on it.         :)
Title: Re: Dar's Guide To Dialysis Nurses
Post by: Epoman on December 01, 2005, 11:42:24 PM
Sure, go ahead... just write "Written by Dar from† Massachusetts" on it.† † † † †:)

And be sure to add "Originally posted on Ihatedialysis.com"  ;)
Title: Re: Dar's Guide To Dialysis Nurses
Post by: LifeOnHold on December 02, 2005, 01:12:21 AM
Jesus, Epoman, you'll have 'ihatedialysis.com' written on your friggin' tombstone!  ;D
Title: Re: Dar's Guide To Dialysis Nurses
Post by: goofynina on July 06, 2006, 02:12:34 AM
This post is dedicated to a member of this website that i never had the pleasure of meeting.† I have heard alot about her through other posts and she seemed like an AWESOME lady, i wish i would've had the chance to meet her.† †A member told me about something she wrote (thank you Bajanne) and i laughed so hard i cried because it is true.† With every # i read, i was thinking to myself the names of the techs that fit that description.† She hit the nail on the head.† I am definetly going to print this out and send 15 copies to the clinic, address one to each of the workers there,† whether they like it or not, i dont care.† Maybe this will open their eyes and ask themselves "Is that one me" and maybe, just MAYBE they will find ways to improve themselves and make life better not only for the patients but for themselves too.† †Thank you LifeOnHold, you truly ARE an amazing woman... May you Rest In Peace....

Goofynina


.....and she wrote...


After four years at my dialysis clinic, I discovered that there were eight different types of nurses. They are:


† † †#1 The Brute

† † †Puts his/her weight behind the needle. "Advances" the needle
directly into your spleen. Feels the need to teach your graft a
lesson, because he/she is always chooses the trouble spots. Ignores
patient discomfort that warns of infiltration, because "We HAVE to
get these needles in!" By the time you're hooked up, you want to go
home!

† † †Warning sign that your nurse may be a Brute: If he or she constantly
asks, "Are you STILL using lidocaine?"



† † †#2 The Finagler

† † †A timid nurse who fears causing the patient pain, which results in
him/her inserting the needles 1/300th of a millimeter at a time. He/she
wiggles, rolls and twists the needles sloooowly, thinking that this
is "less painful." Actually, what he/she REALLY fears is
infiltrating the patient, convinced that the "Bosses" will use it to
get them fired.



† † †#3 The Get-In-Get-Outer

† † †Confident, business-like, and far too rare! Knows which spots to
avoid, inserts the needles into your graft, gets the machine running
and gets out of your hair. Asks for assistance when necessary, but
can handle most emergencies alone.

CAUTION: If you get this nurse too often, it can aggravate the
effects of The Brute, Finagler, and Aztec Two-Stepper, Mangler, and
Rosie the Riveter.



† † †#4 The Aztec Two-stepper

† † †Hooks you up fine. The fun begins when the machine keeps alarming.
Then the Aztec Two-Stepper springs into action-- yanking, pushing
and pulling the needles in an ill-fated attempt at avoiding
repositioning them. To this nurse, re-doing needles is admitting
defeat, and he/she will wrap your arm in six pounds of paper tape
before pulling out an uncooperative needle. It's easy to spot the
victim of The Aztec Two-Stepper-- just look for the patient with the
contorted arm position and pained look as each time he/she relaxes
the tiniest bit, the machine starts alarming again.



† † †#5 The Oblivious

† † †This refers to attitude towards patients, not lack of experience.
This nurse can walk right past a patient who's passing out and
feebly calling for help. If The Oblivious would have been paying
attention to the appearance of the patient, he/she would have
noticed the signs of imminent fainting (restlessness, panting,
wiping face with hand) and the episode could have been avoided. The
Oblivious also has trouble deciding which side of the unit an alarm
is on, when to give antibiotics, and when to refill jugs. This is
the type of person who gets evicted from an apartment for
non-payment of rent.

CAUTION: May be passive-aggressive in disguise!



† † †#6 The Mangler

† † †Thinks every graft is like the perfect textbook model from nursing
school, and that every patient's graft is the same. This leads to
intense drilling as The Mangler tries to shove the needle into a
non-existant space. Wanders around in your arm like it's a National
Geographic special. Forgets to use clamps and stands there
bewildered as your blood flies all over the place. Curses equipment.
Unlike The Finagler, The Mangler gives not a damn about
infiltration. "Hey, we all do it sometime!" is The Mangler Motto.



† † †#7 The Wolf-Crier

† † †Cousin of The Finagler, The Wolf-Crier lacks confidence in an
emergency and jumps ship the minute anything happens. Is unaware of
basic dialysis facts that even the patients know.
Here are a few calls of The Wolf-Crier:

† † †"Miiiiiike!"
† † †"Maaaaaary!"
† † †"Lindaaaaa!"

† † †Good news: These nurses seldom stay employed for very long.



† † †#8 Rosie the Riveter

† † †A conglomeration of The Finagler, Aztec Two-Stepper, and Mangler.
Thinks it's important to know how many ways a needle WON'T go in,
too. And guess whose arm will be the guinea pig?

† † †Rosie has a production-line mentality, with a self-imposed deadline
of 6 p.m. Woe betide the tardy patient! Extra riveting is in your
immediate future!


† † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † ***
† † † † † † † † † † †
I showed this article to the nurses at my dialysis unit, and they loved it. I'd been afraid that feelings would be hurt, but they considered my writing to be a wakeup call... we now have far fewer Brutes and Manglers! I'm sure I've benefitted all of my fellow patients by creating this article. Personally, I'm glad that suffering finally created some good!




Title: Re: Dar's Guide To Dialysis Nurses
Post by: Epoman on July 06, 2006, 12:56:39 PM
She this is why this site is so GREAT, even after a member dies their posts live on and people remember them. LifeOnHold was the first member here to help me post when this site was a ghost town we had MAYBE 2 posts a day.  :o Hard to imagine huh? now that we average 75+ new posts a day AND 1 new member a day for the last 4 months in a row.  :o

See Darlene (LifeOnHold) I told you the site would take off and grow. :-* Rest in Peace, but every once in a while go tickle "Reruns" and "goofynina" toes while they are laying in bed"  >:D

- Epoman
Title: Re: Dar's Guide To Dialysis Nurses
Post by: goofynina on July 06, 2006, 12:59:31 PM
OMG,  i have nightmares of that happening, but instead they are CLOWNS....hey, just thought of a good thread,  Thanks Epoman
Title: Re: Dar's Guide To Dialysis Nurses
Post by: Bajanne on July 06, 2006, 03:12:40 PM
I am just being thankful that he didn't include Bajanne's toes!!   That post of Life on Hold's was a real classic.  that lady had a biting way with words!!
Title: Re: Dar's Guide To Dialysis Nurses
Post by: Travincal on August 23, 2006, 11:42:54 AM
I agree with BlackJack about this so called guide. I have been on Dialysis for quite some time now as well as having a number of other problems. I think that for the most part this site is composed of people who are on dialysis and expect everyone to feel sorry for them because they donate 4 hours of their life 3 times a week to a machine. On the other hand the nurses are there everyday and sometimes even on the weekends working longer then your 4 hour dialysis. Granted its there job and they are getting paid for it. I donít think that they like stabbing people that have a crapload of medical conditions day in and day out and furthermore I am quite sure that they get just as tired of all of you complaining about "lifeís hard" "what would you do if you could only drink a liter of liquid a day" "Owe your hurting me with the needle" "can I get a blanket" "Iím getting crampy" "Iím tired of my diet" and everything else. Even for those of you that donít complain you think that your nurse cant see on your face when your in pain and that he/she is F**king up. I think most everyone on this site needs to stop their complaining which is covered up with a " :)" or an "lol" every so often and just realize that their are people out there that have medical conditions that make dialysis look like a walk in the park. No matter how hard things are for you there is always someone worse off. I think you all need to look around a minute and see that your nurses have just as much a right to dislike you as you have a right to dislike them. Iím pretty sure that if any of you met someone with a medical condition worse then yours and they told you how bad things were and how hard their life was that you wouldnít want to be around them because you would feel like you donít have the right to complain anymore. Well the same goes for your nurses because when they are having tough times in their life they have no one to complain to because all of you expect so much sympathy for yourselves that you have none left for anyone else.
Title: Re: Dar's Guide To Dialysis Nurses
Post by: kitkatz on August 23, 2006, 08:47:09 PM
Ummmmmm. Are we having a bad day? You do realize you just told us all to quit being negative and move on?   I thought we were a support group here.  So what if we grunt and groan and complain. Some of us have nowhere else to go.  Some of us complaining dialysis patients have other things going on in our lives and find dialysis to be a pain in the butt most days!  Epoman says we can use this site to let it out and rant and carry on.  I happen to agree with him.
Title: Re: Dar's Guide To Dialysis Nurses
Post by: Bajanne on August 23, 2006, 10:03:01 PM
Maybe you didn't see the name of this website, Travincal.  If you are looking for just denial, then you should go to some other site.  I had a second look at your introductory post, and what I saw there was someone who had been through the wringer,because of renal failure.  Why are you now making it seem that we should ignore what we are going through and just see life through rose-coloured spectacles?
Of course if we had something worse, we would complain about that.  This is what we have and what we have to live with.  Knowing that there is a place where people are not going to sugarcoat, but are going to tell it like it is, has helped many.  This was the purpose of creating this site.  Sorry if it doesn't cut it for you.
The person who started this thread has now passed on -  a young extremely interesting person taken away because of the complications of dialysis.  I can't tell you how much we miss her.
Title: Re: Dar's Guide To Dialysis Nurses
Post by: Rerun on August 23, 2006, 10:43:19 PM
Suffering is relevant.† If it is happening to you then it is the worst that you know of from your experience.

When a 5 year old wrecks on her bike for the first time and is screaming bloody murder are you going to go up to her and say "Shut up you whinny bitch there are people way worse off than you....."† NO, because it is her suffering in that moment that she is experiencing.

† So, you take a step back and let us have our site to vent and complain all we want.† Maybe if we get it out here we won't take it out in the unit workers.

I hate it when people try to tell me to deny my feelings.† "Oh, it doesn't hurt"† (How the F'*** do you know) !

I'm not saying we have to start comparing wounds.† But, that is what this site is for.† It is an outlet for frustrations.† I think I would have "quit" dialysis by now if I couldn't find anyone else who hated it.† If I thought everyone else liked it but me I think I would have said "the hell with this."† But, knowing I'm not alone makes me hang on.
Title: Re: Dar's Guide To Dialysis Nurses
Post by: Epoman on August 24, 2006, 12:21:49 AM
I agree with BlackJack about this so called guide. I have been on Dialysis for quite some time now as well as having a number of other problems. I think that for the most part this site is composed of people who are on dialysis and expect everyone to feel sorry for them because they donate 4 hours of their life 3 times a week to a machine. On the other hand the nurses are there everyday and sometimes even on the weekends working longer then your 4 hour dialysis. Granted its there job and they are getting paid for it. I donít think that they like stabbing people that have a crapload of medical conditions day in and day out and furthermore I am quite sure that they get just as tired of all of you complaining about "lifeís hard" "what would you do if you could only drink a liter of liquid a day" "Owe your hurting me with the needle" "can I get a blanket" "Iím getting crampy" "Iím tired of my diet" and everything else. Even for those of you that donít complain you think that your nurse cant see on your face when your in pain and that he/she is F**king up. I think most everyone on this site needs to stop their complaining which is covered up with a " :)" or an "lol" every so often and just realize that their are people out there that have medical conditions that make dialysis look like a walk in the park. No matter how hard things are for you there is always someone worse off. I think you all need to look around a minute and see that your nurses have just as much a right to dislike you as you have a right to dislike them. Iím pretty sure that if any of you met someone with a medical condition worse then yours and they told you how bad things were and how hard their life was that you wouldnít want to be around them because you would feel like you donít have the right to complain anymore. Well the same goes for your nurses because when they are having tough times in their life they have no one to complain to because all of you expect so much sympathy for yourselves that you have none left for anyone else.

I think you have NO idea what this site is even about. But I also think you have no right to talk shit to the members here who have been on dialysis 5, 10, 15, 20+ years. according to your "intro" post you have been on for 8 months. So do me favor since you want to come on to this site and talk down to my members, kindly go and start your own site and call it www.ilovedialysis.com or come back when kidney disease has kicked your ass a few times. Why are you here if you think this site is all about negativity and feeling sorry for yourself? If you wish to remain a member here do not try to "change" people on this site. Your post disgusted and literally sickened me. You are welcome to post here but do not ever talk to my members like that again or you are history. Damn I am so tempted to ban you but I will give you a chance to reply first. Oh and do me a favor and show me ONE post where a member is asking for pity or feeling sorry for themselves.

Oh and one more thing the member who created this thread DIED from complications of kidney disease several months ago.

- Epoman
Owner/Admin
Title: Re: Dar's Guide To Dialysis Nurses
Post by: Bajanne on August 24, 2006, 08:12:01 AM
By the way, Travincal, did you read all the posts in the thread and notice that Blackjack ended up understanding what was going on?
Maybe if you did, you would have reacted differently.
Title: Re: Dar's Guide To Dialysis Nurses
Post by: mallory on August 24, 2006, 10:12:48 AM
Travincal, your post ticked me off and I'm not even on dialysis yet.  But, I do have some pretty serious medical issues, and I will be on dialysis soon.  When I found out my kidneys were failing and I would need dialysis, it happened very, very fast.  I was so overwhelmed and I didn't know anything about kidney failure, ESRD or dialysis.  I'd never known anyone who had this type of problems and I didn't know where to look for information.  Everyone at my doctor's office and in the hospital acted like it was no big deal, happens every day, but it was a big deal to ME.  I started doing research on the internet, and it seemed like most of the websites said things like "This isn't so bad, it's really great, it's not a bad way to live the rest of your life, which will probably be brief, anyway."  I felt like I couldn't find any REAL information.  This is the first website I found that has info I can actually use.  Sometimes the information isn't cheerful, but, sometimes I don't feel cheerful about all of this, either. 

Dialysis isn't great, ESRD isn't great, this is a hard way to live.  For me, knowing I have somewhere I can vent and people will understand makes it a little easier to get through each day.  It isn't whining, it's SUPPORT.
Title: Re: Dar's Guide To Dialysis Nurses
Post by: Hawkeye on August 24, 2006, 12:03:09 PM
Travincal, I'm a dialysis employee and not on dialysis. I have to say that I found your post sickening and rude.  The people on this site have every right to complain about their hardships from dialysis, but this site is so much more than just that.  This is a place of valuable information to an otherwise uneducated community of people.  This site has helped everyone here in one way or another in a way that they would not have received elsewhere.  Yes there is ranting by the patients, but if you look Epoman has even provided a place for the staff to rant right back.  You really seem to have no clue as to what this site and this family of people are are all about.  Please try reading more of the posts on this site before you judge the people here.
Title: Re: Dar's Guide To Dialysis Nurses
Post by: Travincal on August 24, 2006, 12:58:42 PM
Hawkeye maybe you are right and maybe you are wrong. All I know is that I made 1 post and because it was different then all the other peoples feelings around here they all took it to be offensive. It was like I dropped a mouse into a bucket of snakes. Im sure that I wont be on this site for much longer from the sounds of it but I think you should read and take a deep look into this quote...."You can't expect to prevent negative feelings altogether. And you can't expect to experience positive feelings all the time...The Law of Emotional Choice directs us to acknowledge our feelings but also to refuse to get stuck in the negative ones." I guess I must have gotten carried away but my intention was to defend the Nurses. I have become very close to all of mine even the ones that dont do a good job and I would not wish the loss of their career that they worked so hard for just because Im uncomfertable. Im quite sure if a nurse went into the so called imployees section and wrote a "Dar's Guide To Dialysis Patients" you would not think it so funny......but then again I guess its not about them now is it.  All I was saying is that there is another way and its not ignoring your condition but realizing that it will never change. Yes a 5 year old will cry when he first wrecks his bike but he will not carry on about how much it hurts for weeks on a time. Realizing what we have and how it will affect our lives is the crash and now we must find a way to get up and continue on with our lives. Anyhow for those of you that thought I was right or even semi correct I appreciate not expect your agreement. I think Ive pissed of too many people with 1 post to come around this part of town anymore because it seems like every post from here on just might be prejudged. I did mean for the best and was not trying to "sicken" "piss-off" "talk shit to" or "deny your feelings" to any of you. Take care and I wish you all luck.
Title: Re: Dar's Guide To Dialysis Nurses
Post by: Zach on August 24, 2006, 01:06:36 PM
I did mean for the best and was not trying to "sicken" "piss-off" "talk shit to" or "deny your feelings" to any of you. Take care and I wish you all luck.

Hey, don't give up on us that fast!
Title: Re: Dar's Guide To Dialysis Nurses
Post by: Zach on August 24, 2006, 01:12:50 PM
No matter how hard things are for you there is always someone worse off.

I think what "saved" me when I first learned about my kidney failure was what I saw across the street from my Nephrologist's office -- Memorial-Sloan Kettering Hospital (cancer care).  I knew some folks there with cancer would not be living out the day.
Title: Re: Dar's Guide To Dialysis Nurses
Post by: Hawkeye on August 24, 2006, 01:45:17 PM
I guess I must have gotten carried away but my intention was to defend the Nurses. I have become very close to all of mine even the ones that don't do a good job and I would not wish the loss of their career that they worked so hard for just because I'm uncomfortable.

Yeah I think you did get a little carried away, but no one here is trying to get anybody fired just venting their frustrations. †This is theirs lives the Nurses and PCT's are handling, they should be defense about it. †The original post was just a humorous look at the different styles nurses have of handling things. †It's a stereotypical thing like all blonde's are dumb.

Quote
I'm quite sure if a nurse went into the so called employees section and wrote a "Dar's Guide To Dialysis Patients" you would not think it so funny......but then again I guess its not about them now is it. †

I have been posting here for a few months now and feel as though I've gotten to know several of the people very well. †I would be willing to bet that they would find such a post humorous if it was written to be humorous. †I wouldn't even be surprised if they added to it.

Quote
All I was saying is that there is another way and its not ignoring your condition but realizing that it will never change.

No one here is ignoring their condition either, they come here to talk, rank, and find out information from other people in this same situation. †They all know there is no current cure. †If you read the posts you will also find it's place for them to socialize and talk about non-dialysis stuff to.

Quote
I think Ive pissed of too many people with 1 post to come around this part of town anymore because it seems like every post from here on just might be prejudged. I did mean for the best and was not trying to "sicken" "piss-off" "talk shit to" or "deny your feelings" to any of you. Take care and I wish you all luck.

The whole point of this site is to be able to come and find the reality of dialysis and chat with others that are either on dialysis or are affected by it somehow. †Just like any family we may have an argument from time to time, and we don't always agree. †It's these things that provide everyone with each side of the coin so they can decide for themselves what is right for them. †Please come back and post if you want, you have a different outlook than most people do and that outlook is important too. †I commend you for being in the Marines and protecting our freedom, but you have to realize that this isn't the Marines. †You just need to tone down the "gung-ho" attitude a little in your posts and I'm sure you will like it here.
Title: Re: Dar's Guide To Dialysis Nurses
Post by: Epoman on August 24, 2006, 06:39:29 PM
Hawkeye maybe you are right and maybe you are wrong. All I know is that I made 1 post and because it was different then all the other peoples feelings around here they all took it to be offensive. It was like I dropped a mouse into a bucket of snakes. Im sure that I wont be on this site for much longer from the sounds of it but I think you should read and take a deep look into this quote...."You can't expect to prevent negative feelings altogether. And you can't expect to experience positive feelings all the time...The Law of Emotional Choice directs us to acknowledge our feelings but also to refuse to get stuck in the negative ones." I guess I must have gotten carried away but my intention was to defend the Nurses. I have become very close to all of mine even the ones that dont do a good job and I would not wish the loss of their career that they worked so hard for just because Im uncomfertable. Im quite sure if a nurse went into the so called imployees section and wrote a "Dar's Guide To Dialysis Patients" you would not think it so funny......but then again I guess its not about them now is it.† All I was saying is that there is another way and its not ignoring your condition but realizing that it will never change. Yes a 5 year old will cry when he first wrecks his bike but he will not carry on about how much it hurts for weeks on a time. Realizing what we have and how it will affect our lives is the crash and now we must find a way to get up and continue on with our lives. Anyhow for those of you that thought I was right or even semi correct I appreciate not expect your agreement. I think Ive pissed of too many people with 1 post to come around this part of town anymore because it seems like every post from here on just might be prejudged. I did mean for the best and was not trying to "sicken" "piss-off" "talk shit to" or "deny your feelings" to any of you. Take care and I wish you all luck.

Quote
Im quite sure if a nurse went into the so called imployees section and wrote a "Dar's Guide To Dialysis Patients" you would not think it so funny......but then again I guess its not about them now is it.

See this is what I am talking about you have NO idea what we are about and you just assume, I would LOVE to see a nurse do a simlar guide and I would find it hilarious. In fact if you read my post when I created the "Employees" section you would have seen where I said:

Well after seeing a few of our members who are not patients but have become very active in our site and post on a regular basis, I decided to have a section for them. So if you work in the dialysis field, if your a tech, nurse, admin, doctor, physicians assistant, secretary, supplier, delivery person, what ever the case may be, if it's related to kidney failure, this is your section. Of course you are free to post in ALL of the other sections and the patients are to allowed to post here.† But maybe you want to rant or vent about a work environment, a co-worker, dialysis in general, a problem you see going on, or maybe you are sick of dialysis patients and want to rant about a certain patient who gets on your nerves at your center.

I hope having this section does not offend dialysis patients, I hope they understand that you don't have to actually be a patient to HATE dialysis, spouses, brothers, sisters, parents, children, family members, and yes even employees in the field can hate dialysis. Kidney disease affects many peoples live not just the patients, I know my son and wife hate dialysis, because they see what kidney failure has done to me.

Remember this section is open to ALL members, I just wanted to give a little something for the workers. especially the workers who take the time join and to post here regularly. This will give us patients a chance to see the other side of the coin. So let's hear some rants!


See what I mean? Maybe if you had read that you wouldn't have said:

Quote
Im quite sure if a nurse went into the so called imployees section and wrote a "Dar's Guide To Dialysis Patients" you would not think it so funny

Obviously you have not read ANY of the posts from some of our VERY Positive members, again you just assumed that we all are just a bunch of pissed off people, well I can't speak for everyone here is my take on this situation, I HATE DIALYSIS, BUT I accept my fate and I continue to fight the good fight, you have been very fortunate to have a good center with good nurses and techs OTHERS have not been so lucky, so if this site can teach a few patients to stand up for their rights and become informed, and provide a place where techs and nurses can see some of our frustrations and change their work ethic then we have succeeded. You see the dialysis nurses and techs have a CHOICE to change professions or to quit and LIVE, WE can not change professions and if we QUIT we DIE. So they have a choice and I will not feel sorry for them for having to put up with some patients who just want to be treated like a human being and not just some sick p*ck in a dialysis chair. Again I'll say you have not seen the "other" side of the coin, since as you put it, your center is great.

Quote
All I was saying is that there is another way and its not ignoring your condition but realizing that it will never change.


Yet another comment that assumes, do me a favor READ some posts before you reply to things which you do not know. You do not think WE ALL know no matter how much we hate kidney disease, we can not change our condition? And what do you mean by ignore? How can we ignore a condition that reminds us EVERYDAY. Some people here are in different stages of their condition and some are near death and some are still in that "honeymoon" period that thinks dialysis isn't that bad, YOU for example, again I will say lets see how you feel 10 years from now.

As to your leaving that is your call, you are welcome to stay. But after seeing first hand your style of posting, you are correct I myself may be bias toward you, as you know first impressions are lasting impressions. But you are welcome here.

You know what good "netiquette" is? To join a message board and get a feel of the site and get to know some members before making your first post, had you done that you would have saved yourself this drama. Relize what a great bunch of people we have here. Instead of me having to recieve many PM's about your post and how upset you made so many members.

So the ball is in your court but my previous reply to you still stands.

- Epoman
Owner/Admin
Title: Re: Dar's Guide To Dialysis Nurses
Post by: kitkatz on August 24, 2006, 10:28:01 PM
We can too poke fun at ourselves!

Katherine's Guide to Dialysis Patients

Grumpy Patient- the patient that comes in to the center grumpy.  Dialysis has interrupted their day and they are looking for the first tech or nurse to take it out on.  Beware: Talking to Grumpy can get your feelings hurt. Let Grumpy get on the machine in a timely manner and get a Benadryl and Tylenol cocktail and they will be fine.

I am So Happy to Be Here Patient: This patient makes everyone crazy. "Hi how are you? I am doing fine. Everything is great." They wander the unit looking for people to say hello to and then talk for half an hour to them.  Or they are talking to the nurse or tech in other area of the unit than where they will be sitting. They can be fairly loud.  They are usually the ones techs and nurses are looking for to put them on the machine on time.  They will often stay after treatment and talk to the nurses and techs.

Late Great Patient:  Arrives late to dialysis every treatment.  Complains about their time being cut short to the clinic director, so their time is not cut, even though they were late.  Backs up the entire unit because they are late. Blames everyone but themselves for being late.  They need to buy a watch that works.

The Burpers and Farters: These people get on the machine and their bodily functions go nuts.  Burping loudly without an excuse me or anything.  Farts are not covered up to dissapate into their own noses. Smells are left to run free around the unit. Just what is that smell?

Loud old People: Old people who cannot hear what is being said to them. They answer in a very loud voice all of the time.  Their TV is so loud you can hear it even if they are using headphones. Nurse and techs have to yell loudly while they are treating them. They do not bring their hearing aides because they think they center is too loud anyway.

Criers and Screamers:  These are the patients who cry or whine through the entire treatment. They are not happy and everyone knows it. Sitting next to a 4 hour crier will drive any sane person crazy!  The screamer are the ones who scream they want off now five minutes into the treatment.  Or they are senile and yell out they want a peanut butter sandwich. Or yell a tech's name over and over.  Bring on the sedatives!

Okay that is all I can think of tonight....Feel free to add to it. ( This is posted in fun, just like Dar's was.)


Title: Re: Dar's Guide To Dialysis Nurses
Post by: Sara on August 24, 2006, 11:14:08 PM
even the ones that dont do a good job and I would not wish the loss of their career that they worked so hard for just because Im uncomfertable.

Great, so can everyone send all their bad nurses and techs to poke you?  I don't know about the rest of y'all, but if someone is not doing a good job, I don't think it's such a good thing to keep quiet just so they don't get in trouble or lose their job.
Title: Re: Dar's Guide To Dialysis Nurses
Post by: Rerun on August 25, 2006, 02:27:19 AM
Quote
Great, so can everyone send all their bad nurses and techs to poke you?† I don't know about the rest of y'all, but if someone is not doing a good job, I don't think it's such a good thing to keep quiet just so they don't get in trouble or lose their job.

Exactly Sara.† At what point is this employee a "safety" issue.......before or after you are in ER!


EDITED: Fixed quote tag error - Epoman, Owner/Admin
Title: Re: Dar's Guide To Dialysis Nurses
Post by: Zach on August 25, 2006, 03:39:15 AM
We can too poke fun at ourselves!

Katherine's Guide to Dialysis Patients


I am rolling on the floor in laughter!!!!!† † † † †:D :D :D :D >:D >:D
Title: Re: Dar's Guide To Dialysis Nurses
Post by: Sara on August 25, 2006, 06:11:20 AM

Katherine's Guide to Dialysis Patients


This is great, LOL.† †;D† We could have a Dialysis Spouse guide too.

Those who don't care.
Those who care too much.
Those who the staff dread to see walk into the center.
Those who the doctor runs and hides from.
Those who probably know more than the doctor ('Black' comes to mind for this one. She could probably teach them a thing or ten.  LOL)
Title: Re: Dar's Guide To Dialysis Nurses
Post by: Rerun on August 25, 2006, 07:38:50 AM
We could have a guide to Drivers.

Those who come early and then leave because you are not off the machine.

Those who come late and blame traffic when you smell pizza on his breath.

Those who Wait in the van and don't help you.

Those who smoke.

Those who complain about gas prices......AHHHHhhhhhhhhhh

Title: Re: Dar's Guide To Dialysis Nurses
Post by: angieskidney on August 25, 2006, 07:15:01 PM
We could have a guide to Drivers.

Those who come early and then leave because you are not off the machine.

Those who come late and blame traffic when you smell pizza on his breath.

Those who Wait in the van and don't help you.

Those who smoke.

Those who complain about gas prices......AHHHHhhhhhhhhhh


Oh hell ya!!! I nearly jumped outta my seat on this one since all this week the cab is driving me nuts with leaving on me! I have been yelling at him, "Do you want me to just bleed all over your cab?!?!?!?!!"  .. Or the other cabby who won't open the door for me and just yells, "Pull harder! Pull harder" and rolls his eyes at me  >:( :-\

I want to add more to that .. maybe you should start a new thread for it! That would be great!† ;D
Title: Re: Dar's Guide To Dialysis Nurses
Post by: Black on August 25, 2006, 07:55:20 PM

Katherine's Guide to Dialysis Patients


This is great, LOL.† †;D† We could have a Dialysis Spouse guide too.

Those who don't care.
Those who care too much.
Those who the staff dread to see walk into the center.
Those who the doctor runs and hides from.
Those who probably know more than the doctor ('Black' comes to mind for this one. She could probably teach them a thing or ten.† LOL)

Oh, Sara, I am so flattered† :-[  -- I am so new to all of this; I have so much to learn.† But, on the other hand I've learned more on-line than from all of the medical professionals added together, so maybe it doesn't take much to know more than some of the docs ;D :o ;D

Actually, I probably qualify better for the other 4 categories.

Maybe some of the more experienced people here could write a complete description of the spouses in another thread in the spouse section.
Title: Re: Dar's Guide To Dialysis Nurses
Post by: JerseyGirl on August 29, 2006, 02:20:09 PM
Look I am a dialysis nurse and I think Dar's post was totally appropriate and actually very very funny!  Lighten up!  I've known quite a few nurses in the 20 years I've been in dialysis and her post is pretty well on the mark.  Noone's perfect but alittle humor goes a long way.  I really like the driver one too!  But I have to say from being in dialysis so long it is pretty hard for me to tolerate complaints from alot of people, husband, family and friends included.  My problems are small compared to my patients.  I'm not saying I feel sorry for dialysis patients but I empathize alot with them.  I really don't think dialysis patients WANT to be felt sorry for - well, not all of them, at least.  It is such a unique environment, I think.  Different from any other.  You become like family.  Both sides have seen each other in good and bad moods.  Enough psychobabble.  God Bless Life on Hold, I would have loved to had the chance to take care of her!
Title: Re: Dar's Guide To Dialysis Nurses
Post by: Zach on August 29, 2006, 09:48:05 PM
For many patients, sometimes we see the the Nurses and Technitions more often than our own family.† † † ;)
Title: Re: Dar's Guide To Dialysis Nurses
Post by: angieskidney on August 29, 2006, 10:05:52 PM
For many patients, sometimes we see the the Nurses and Technitions more often than our own family.† † † ;)
Hell ya!!
Title: Re: Dar's Guide To Dialysis Nurses
Post by: number1nephnurse on November 01, 2006, 09:36:18 PM
Very cute..and somewhat accurate. I am of course the #3 nurse.  I was given this site by a patient, who is also a good friend...although he didnt warn me about the bashing.  A bit biased to. My first post was met with a snide remark from the moderator/owner/creater/patient/whatever  This post however was very cute. I know and have worked with every example of nurse. Cute very cute.  You should see the patient guide the staff makes. :clap;
Title: Re: Dar's Guide To Dialysis Nurses
Post by: Rerun on November 01, 2006, 09:39:21 PM
We would Love to see the patient guide the staff makes.  We do have a sence of humor ya know.   ;D
Title: Re: Dar's Guide To Dialysis Nurses
Post by: Bajanne on November 01, 2006, 11:45:09 PM
Number1nephnurse, I noticed that you haven't officially introduced yourself as yet.  Please go to the section Introduce Yourself, and tell us about you.
I would love you to do a take on the various types of patients that you meet.  Please do it for us!
Title: Re: Dar's Guide To Dialysis Nurses
Post by: kianhu on May 11, 2007, 10:53:39 PM
I think that is absolutely hilarious.† (Hemo RN)† I am trying to figure out which one I am?† LOLOLOL†  :clap;
Title: Re: Dar's Guide To Dialysis Nurses
Post by: goofy1 on December 12, 2007, 06:59:31 PM
I've been in dialysis for over 20 yrs, as a tech and now an RN and I thought this was a humorous observation.  We do come in different shapes and sizes as well as different levels of skill, talent, and most importantly, the ability to empathize.  I have come to the conclusion that there is a definite connection between heart and hands, and that those "here just to collect a paycheck" workers are also the ones that patients complain about the most, "when he/she sticks me it really hurts". 
Having a 15g. needle inserted into your arm can never be comfortable, but if administered by a pair of caring hands, it may be more tolerable.  The source of "angel hands" is truly the heart. 
Title: Re: Dar's Guide To Dialysis Nurses
Post by: Black on December 12, 2007, 07:32:32 PM
Thanks for bringing this thread back.  I had forgotten how funny it is.  :rofl;  :rofl;

Dar was wonderful.  She and Bill are probably enjoying each others company immensely, and I miss Sara too.   :(
Title: Re: Dar's Guide To Dialysis Nurses
Post by: glitter on December 13, 2007, 10:40:51 AM
re-reading this post does high-light the purpose of this site.... a place where anyone is 'free' to hate dialysis!!! plus its funny!
Title: Re: Dar's Guide To Dialysis Nurses
Post by: okarol on December 13, 2007, 11:45:00 AM
 :rofl; This is a great thread - well worth reading!
Title: Re: Dar's Guide To Dialysis Nurses
Post by: Adam_W on January 03, 2008, 01:32:08 PM
I've read the initial post in this thread, but I hadn't read through the whole thing until now. First of all, Lifeonhold's post was very funny, and I had nurses and techs at my old centre that fit one of those. As for all the flaming and accusations of dialysis patients being "whiny little brats", I agree with what everyone else said, that we have every right to rant and complain. As I'm typing this, I've been tethered to my dialysis machine for the last hour and a half, and I'm not upset or complaining now, but sometimes I do, and I'm glad Epoman gave us this site to rant and rave when we have problems. I know it's an old thread, but I thought I'd throw in my  :twocents;

Adam






EDITED: Fixed smiley tag error-kitkatz,moderator
Title: Re: Dar's Guide To Dialysis Nurses
Post by: CW on February 10, 2008, 08:58:49 AM
:bump;

Excellent post, this was hilarious R.I.P LifeOnHold and thankyou !
Title: Re: Dar's Guide To Dialysis Nurses
Post by: Kitsune on August 13, 2008, 02:13:44 AM
We can too poke fun at ourselves!

Katherine's Guide to Dialysis Patients

Grumpy Patient- the patient that comes in to the center grumpy.† Dialysis has interrupted their day and they are looking for the first tech or nurse to take it out on.† Beware: Talking to Grumpy can get your feelings hurt. Let Grumpy get on the machine in a timely manner and get a Benadryl and Tylenol cocktail and they will be fine.

I am So Happy to Be Here Patient: This patient makes everyone crazy. "Hi how are you? I am doing fine. Everything is great." They wander the unit looking for people to say hello to and then talk for half an hour to them.† Or they are talking to the nurse or tech in other area of the unit than where they will be sitting. They can be fairly loud.† They are usually the ones techs and nurses are looking for to put them on the machine on time.† They will often stay after treatment and talk to the nurses and techs.

Late Great Patient:† Arrives late to dialysis every treatment.† Complains about their time being cut short to the clinic director, so their time is not cut, even though they were late.† Backs up the entire unit because they are late. Blames everyone but themselves for being late.† They need to buy a watch that works.

The Burpers and Farters: These people get on the machine and their bodily functions go nuts.† Burping loudly without an excuse me or anything.† Farts are not covered up to dissapate into their own noses. Smells are left to run free around the unit. Just what is that smell?

Loud old People: Old people who cannot hear what is being said to them. They answer in a very loud voice all of the time.† Their TV is so loud you can hear it even if they are using headphones. Nurse and techs have to yell loudly while they are treating them. They do not bring their hearing aides because they think they center is too loud anyway.

Criers and Screamers:† These are the patients who cry or whine through the entire treatment. They are not happy and everyone knows it. Sitting next to a 4 hour crier will drive any sane person crazy!† The screamer are the ones who scream they want off now five minutes into the treatment.† Or they are senile and yell out they want a peanut butter sandwich. Or yell a tech's name over and over.† Bring on the sedatives!

Okay that is all I can think of tonight....Feel free to add to it. ( This is posted in fun, just like Dar's was.)




We have a couple of these at our unit. Our "I am So Happy to Be Here Patient" is a 48 year old woman named Angie. She walks around,  looking for people to bend their ear, and she actually stays after treatment to jabber at the nurses and techs who have other things to do. Her nicknames around our unit are "Queen of The Nile" (because she demands special treatment as well) and The Princess. She also sneezes and laughs obnoxiously so people will look at her.

Our "screamer" is an older woman named Joyce, who will sit there for a hour and then start screaming to be taken off like she's being killed. Complains of her back always hurting. Screams techs' names over and over. "Come on, ------ I want to come off! ---------! ----------!" for the entire four hours she is on.

No one is allowed to complain about these wackos or get their butt chewed like gum.

God, I hate it there, and not just because of the needles.
Title: Re: Dar's Guide To Dialysis Nurses
Post by: nursewratchet on November 29, 2008, 08:18:48 AM
I thought it was funny!!!  I have been working in Dialysis a LONG time, and I could name every one of those people.  Not offended in any way.  I have been a boss now for a long time, so now I just fire the "bad apples".  I am going to print off that poem to post in my clinic, I think my patients, and staff will thinks it's a hoot. 
Title: Re: Dar's Guide To Dialysis Nurses
Post by: Constantcrave40 on October 06, 2010, 08:00:45 PM
The nurses deal with all kinds of patients,and some are far from nice and the nurse still has to mantain a professional and courteous attitude. And if they get alittle grouchy,as patients do alot. I kmw I do,give her/him a break,they are people to!
Title: Re: Dar's Guide To Dialysis Nurses
Post by: roryboryalice on April 30, 2011, 05:47:08 PM
As a dialysis nurse, I thought it HILARIOUS! I think I'm #3. My motto: Treat Em & Street Em. (of course as safely & painlessly as possible.
BOO to the nurse who didn't think it funny.
Title: Re: Dar's Guide To Dialysis Nurses
Post by: justkevin on July 10, 2012, 08:05:44 PM
wow, I must be the luckiest dialysis paintent, my nurses are kind, courteous, I'll never be able to thank them for all they have done for me. I do believe your post is hilarious though, I'll print it off for my nurses, thell get a kick out of it. I still hate dialysis, but my nurses make it tolerable
Title: Re: Dar's Guide To Dialysis Nurses
Post by: justkevin on August 28, 2012, 07:17:00 PM
Upland Hills Dialysis Center, Dodgeville WI, that is where im at 3 days a week, 4 hours every other day, where do I start, 4 doctors all friendly, helpfull, Im a mechnic so they even ask me questions, social worker, she wonderful I even tried to teach her ucher, diatishion, helpful,she only had to get on my case a few times but its for the best, when I got all goods on my labs, I got a smily face, now my nurses, what can I say, THE BEST, its simple if I have a bad day they make it better, if I dont feel good they try to fix it, they can take it and dish it out,  and when we walk in they smile and its a real smile there happy to see us, thats why there THE BEST, my nurse had to leave for family reasons, trust me its for the best, we all miss her but hope for the best for her and her family always, she will always be my dialysis nurse, just a phone call away, thanks to everyone at Upland Hills Dialysis Center for keeping me healthy and able to work, keeping my hopes and spirit up, just for being THE BEST they can be, thank you, kevin
Title: Re: Dar's Guide To Dialysis Nurses
Post by: tattooscott on January 01, 2014, 10:02:44 AM
Very nice guide, thanks for sharing. What I wouldn't give to be able to stick some of the techs/nurses I've known.
:)boy do I agree with you