I Hate Dialysis Message Board

Dialysis Discussion => Dialysis: Humor, Pictures, Stories and Poems => Topic started by: kitkatz on February 01, 2010, 06:47:59 PM

Title: Things I would rather do than dialysis...
Post by: kitkatz on February 01, 2010, 06:47:59 PM
I would rather tackle ten porcupines
 than tackle those needles I am assigned



Keep the rhymes going.
Title: Re: Things I would rather do than dialysis...
Post by: twirl on February 02, 2010, 05:33:02 AM
I would rather have sex
than get stuck by the techs     
Title: Re: Things I would rather do than dialysis...
Post by: dwcrawford on February 02, 2010, 09:57:10 AM
While Twirl continues to have sex with the techs,
I'd just as soon watch movies all day at the big multiplex.
Title: Re: Things I would rather do than dialysis...
Post by: JennyGiggle on February 02, 2010, 11:16:09 AM
spend those 4 hrs in a boring college classroom than in  at the dialysis unit! And to think last year id do anything to get out of those classes!
Title: Re: Things I would rather do than dialysis...
Post by: Stoday on February 02, 2010, 01:41:14 PM
So Twirl is a girl
With the best ass in the class
Who likes sex with the techs
In her chair when she's bare.

Erm a bit blue but it has to rhyme see?  :yahoo;
Title: Re: Things I would rather do than dialysis...
Post by: twirl on February 07, 2010, 11:33:21 AM
 :shy; :shy;twirl is the girl with the biggest ass
                        in the class

Dan is the man with the most asses
                        in the classes

thanks for writing a poem about me -- the last one written about me was by a student  ---- can't repeat it but he sure knew how to rhyme words with  --- "luck"

things I would rather do than dialysis --

I'd rather go to a church service and sleep --      ( our preacher is long winded )
than listen to all the machines beep
Title: Re: Things I would rather do than dialysis...
Post by: kitkatz on February 07, 2010, 06:50:51 PM
I would rather go to the mall
than go the that dialysis hall!
Title: Re: Things I would rather do than dialysis...
Post by: iketchum on February 07, 2010, 07:22:07 PM
I feel like I have gone to hell,
all I want is to feel well.
Title: Re: Things I would rather do than dialysis...
Post by: kitkatz on February 07, 2010, 07:29:33 PM
I would really rather see
myself at home watching my own TV
Than at the dialysis center where I be.
Title: Re: Things I would rather do than dialysis...
Post by: Bub on February 08, 2010, 11:02:29 AM
Go to the dentist.
Have diarrhea.
Marry Roseanne.
Kiss a pig  --- wait, sorry, I am being repetative.
Title: Re: Things I would rather do than dialysis...
Post by: fc2821 on February 08, 2010, 12:24:41 PM
Go to the dentist.
Have diarrhea.
Marry Roseanne.
Kiss a pig  --- wait, sorry, I am being repetative.

 :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;

things I would rather do than dialysis:

       You name it......I'd probably do it! 
Title: Re: Things I would rather do than dialysis...
Post by: dwcrawford on February 08, 2010, 02:10:41 PM
Sleep naked on a bed of razor blades.
Title: Re: Things I would rather do than dialysis...
Post by: SkyDancer on February 13, 2010, 05:08:52 PM
 The techs are nice they're lovely lasses,
but I'd like to stick those needles up their Asses!
( thanks mom)
Title: Re: Things I would rather do than dialysis...
Post by: SkyDancer on February 13, 2010, 05:19:03 PM
Sorry, thought of a few more

 The seating there ain't too groovy,
I'm with you let's go to a movie. :bandance;

The chairs in the lobby sure are hard,
I'd rather be slopping pigs in the barnyard. :puke; ( not me, no way! )

 Oh, those machines sure do beep,
I'd rather be at home counting sheep.

One of the techs sure can't carry a tune,
I'd rather be home looking at the :sir ken;  ahem...moon?
Title: Re: Things I would rather do than dialysis...
Post by: fc2821 on February 20, 2010, 11:42:14 AM
     SkyDancer   :2thumbsup; :2thumbsup; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;  Thanks
Title: Re: Things I would rather do than dialysis...
Post by: lunadatura on April 30, 2010, 02:26:44 PM
Ride my bike 100 miles  :bandance;
Title: Re: Things I would rather do than dialysis...
Post by: okarol on October 29, 2010, 09:45:57 PM

I'd rather be wandering out in the cold,
Than listen to a nutritionist scold.
Title: Re: Things I would rather do than dialysis...
Post by: Simon Dog on December 06, 2013, 04:43:50 PM
Stick a needle in my eye; jab a dagger in my thigh; eat a horse manure pie.
Title: Re: Things I would rather do than dialysis...
Post by: liverpool101 on September 20, 2016, 08:00:21 AM
"Stick a needle in my eye;"

I DO get a needle stuck in both eyes (diabetic retinopothy)
as well as being on Hemo.
In fact I even wrote a Blues song about my experiences
on dialysis. I call it the Dialysis Blues.
Title: Re: Things I would rather do than dialysis...
Post by: jmintuck on September 29, 2016, 09:54:10 PM
 I would rather have a very bland meal of porridge with no sugar or sweetener and just water w/o tea or coffee and non-buttered toast than the additional noise of dialysis for 3 and 1/2 hours. Not even a smudge of peanut butter, jam or even Marmite. I happen to LOVE Marmite, even. I mean any meal that IS extremely bland would be preferable to all this noise.

OTOH, I don't have to sit for 4 or so hours over 3 times a week, that is still bad, enough, but preferable over the alternative hours. MY hours are 3 and 1/2 hours 3 times a week which IS better than the other one.
Title: Re: Things I would rather do than dialysis...
Post by: Whamo on April 12, 2018, 11:56:27 AM
I'd rather be surfing Rocky Point, Hawaii, or even my beloved San Onofre, than do dialysis.  I haven't even been in the ocean for years.  I actually don't mind dialysis these days since I do PD.  I do hate the first fill when the belly swells like I'm 9 months pregnant.   I do hate the time it takes.  I'd rather be at Disneyland.  I didn't write a book about Disneyland because I didn't enjoy it.  I love the place.  I love shopping on main street, dancing with Minnie Muse, Goofy, the Pirates, and singing along with the New Orleans jazz band.  I enjoy the restaurants, the food, like monte cristo sandwiches, pineapple treats, ice cream, chicken at the Plaza Inn, the rides, the parades, the fireworks, and the shows.  And I loved doing it after a few marijuana edibles.  I also enjoy tooling around the park on a scooter instead of walking for miles. :clap; :clap;
Title: Re: Things I would rather do than dialysis...
Post by: Paul on April 12, 2018, 01:30:06 PM
And I loved doing it after a few marijuana edibles.

They sell those at Disneyland? ??????

PS don't tell your transplant people about this, they frown on illegal drugs, even in states where they are sort of legal.
Title: Re: Things I would rather do than dialysis...
Post by: Simon Dog on April 12, 2018, 03:41:53 PM
I'm not so sure about this one, but "attend a timeshare sales presentation".
Title: Re: Things I would rather do than dialysis...
Post by: kristina on May 10, 2018, 06:27:38 AM
Listen to some of Igor Stravinsky's and Arnold Schoenberg's painful "toothache-symphonies" ?  ::)
... But ... on second thoughts ... perhaps not ...  ;D
Title: Re: Things I would rather do than dialysis...
Post by: Michael Murphy on May 10, 2018, 06:43:49 AM
Take the Carolina Reaper challenge.  (Check it out on YouTube)
Title: Re: Things I would rather do than dialysis...
Post by: Charlie B53 on May 10, 2018, 06:13:19 PM

We used to go to a bunch of those time-share presentations, they gave some pretty neat stuff to us.  We had a free 3 day week end at a lake resort for one of them.

The Reaper Challenge?   Pass.

I like a bit of pepper, enough to clear my sinus' and break a sweat on my forehead, but not that much. Nope.
Title: Re: Things I would rather do than dialysis...
Post by: Michael Murphy on May 10, 2018, 07:15:57 PM
On  YouTube  they have a video of two girls eating a reaper and for the next 10 minutes they do every thing to put out the fire in their bodies, they kept drinking water which makes it worse,  lipid fats, milk which breaks up the pepper oils