I Hate Dialysis Message Board

TRIBUTES FOR MEMBERS LOST => Rememberance For Past Members => Tribute for Flip. => Topic started by: pelagia on November 11, 2008, 05:23:01 PM

Title: Please take care...
Post by: pelagia on November 11, 2008, 05:23:01 PM
I am feeling very, very sad about Flip.  It makes me realize how attached I feel to the IHD family.   Please take care and post often.   :grouphug;








EDITED: Moved to proper section - Sluff/Admin




Title: Re: Please take care...
Post by: paris on November 11, 2008, 06:53:25 PM
Pelagia, I just keep tearing up today.  Worrying about Chris and Vandie and just having a hard time excepting that Flip is gone  --  not easy, is it?   But, then I think about Charee, Meinuk and KellyT and they all make me smile.   Goofynina once posted "don't anyone else get sick"  but a member replied "we all have kidney disease!".    We do all care about each other, even though most of us will never meet.  I worry about each of you.    :grouphug;  :grouphug;
Title: Re: Please take care...
Post by: breezysummerday on November 11, 2008, 07:48:02 PM
I keep tearing up too.  No goodbye, no 'I'm not feeling well'...
I hope to hear from his family.  I hope they realize how much
he will be missed on IHD.

 :wine;  one for you Flip and a few for me

Rest ye merry Gentleman
Title: Re: Please take care...
Post by: cherpep on November 12, 2008, 08:35:31 AM
Soon after I became a member of IHD, I was reading a lot of the early posts and learning to love Epoman and what he had created.  As I read further, I read of his passing, and although I never really knew him, it hit me hard.  Of course, reading those posts also brought me to Goofynina.  She passed away soon after I joined, and it shocked me to the core.  2 such beautiful lives brought to an end through this disease and its complications.  Honestly, I almost walked away from this site because the reality scared me.  I never really faced how close I was to losing my life before I was diagnosed.  But then, I kept reading, and I read how many people are not only surviving - but living their lives.  Although the reality of the seriousness of this disease has never left me, I have learned a lot on how to live.   Flip's passing also makes me very sad and does once again bring the reality of this disease to the surface - I mourn flip. 

In their honor, I will remember their spirit, and with the help of all you members, will keep fighting and living - this disease isn't gonna keep us down.  We will live our lives to their fullest. 
Title: Re: Please take care...
Post by: Rerun on November 12, 2008, 08:51:00 AM
Pelagia, I think because you are healthy and strong it makes you sad that there is nothing you can do.  Your husband was sick but now has a transplant.  He still will have his struggles with a transplant.  It isn't easy.  Don't feel bad.  Those of us with this disease have to work it out in our own minds and I for one know there is a better place beyond this life.  I feel bad for Flip's family because they will miss him, but I don't feel bad for Flip because he is in a much better place and no longer in pain and having to be teathered to a machine to exist.

The best thing you can do is just what you do.  Being supportive and positive and caring.          :cuddle;    Maybe soon you will have some chocolate to make you feel better.     ;)

Title: Re: Please take care...
Post by: pelagia on November 14, 2008, 02:27:15 PM
 :thx; all.  Last week was an especially bad one because I made two trips to Maryland to be with my friend who's husband died of a massive heart attack on the previous weekend.  She was completely devastated.  The effects of losing a loved one were very close and very real.  We lost my father-in-law to a massive heart attack when he was only 59 (he was also a kidney transplant recipient). He lived in NY at the time and we jumped in the car in Virginia to try to get there to be with him, but he died within an hour.  It was a very sad time.  Flip and Bill's deaths brought a lot of that back.
Title: Re: Please take care...
Post by: boxman55 on November 14, 2008, 04:03:54 PM
it for me brings everything to the forefront. do I have everything in order if it happens to me. no I don't. but I hope all who pass do. but I just can't bring myself to get it together. it is all too depressing...Boxman
Title: Re: Please take care...
Post by: lruffner on November 15, 2008, 06:37:07 AM
it for me brings everything to the forefront. do I have everything in order if it happens to me. no I don't. but I hope all who pass do. but I just can't bring myself to get it together. it is all too depressing...Boxman

Boxman-

I know it is difficult thinking about "tying up loose ends", but if you have loved ones who will take on that responsibility, it will make it so much easier for them. I lost 2 relatives within 6 months of each other, where I was part of the decision making, and I am hear to say how hard it is to make choices concerning those you love. Not only are they dealing with the loss, but then they have to decide what you would have wanted. To me, that is the most haunting part of it, because everyone just wants to honor ther loved one. My aunt had already made her burial arrangements, had her will in place, etc. and it made things so much easier on the family. My dad died unexpectadely and did not have all of his affairs in order, and it was a long drawn out ordeal, not to mention the vultures.

The main things that everyone should do in my opinion:

*Make a note/ document stating your wishes of burial/ cremation/ ashes/ etc.- don't need a will for that and the will is usually read after the burial..in a lot of cases.

*If you don't have a lot of debt and you know who you want to have certain things, put their name on joint accounts, vehicle registration, property deeds, etc. along with yours. As far as persoanl property, i.e., furniture and such, you can either leave it all to one person to distribute or put a piece of tape somehwere on it with a name...most should honor that.

The above mentioned saves so much anguish for your loved ones, as well as not having things tied up in probate & the attorney taking 30% of it. We learned all of this the hard way. As far as the personal property...don't ever think that everyone will be nice about it....there is usually always one. My dad lost everything he had in a divorce and was not a material person at all. I was 20 and lived with him, while I worked and went to school. My "half-sister", who didn't even like my dad much, wanted everything he had and me to have nothing and there were 2 other siblings. I was 20 with nothing and she had been married for 13 years and didn't even need to work.....she got down to counting canned food. It was truly awful. I had just lost the only person that I had in life and she was tore up about corn?? I just like to think it was emotions running wild, but we have not had a relationship since.

I am sorry for the long post, but I just can't say enough just how important this all is. I have already done all of this and I am not even 40 yet, but I don't want anyone to go through what I have 3 times already! I think you will actually feel a big weight off of your shoulders, knowing everything is taken care of for your loved ones...unless you have a few that you might want to torture a bit!!  :rofl;
Title: Re: Please take care...
Post by: Rerun on November 15, 2008, 06:45:26 AM
My sister knows my wishes and I spent $2,000 for an estate attorney to write up my last will and testament and everything is in a Revocable Trust.  Plus my sister is POA. My only concern is....that was in CA and now I live in WA.  The CA attorney said it should be ok.  My niece is an Attorney in WA so I hope things will get worked out.  The only thing I need to put in writing is the songs I want at my services.  I need to get that down on paper and to my sister. 

Title: Re: Please take care...
Post by: lruffner on November 15, 2008, 09:44:58 AM
My sister knows my wishes and I spent $2,000 for an estate attorney to write up my last will and testament and everything is in a Revocable Trust. Plus my sister is POA. My only concern is....that was in CA and now I live in WA. The CA attorney said it should be ok. My niece is an Attorney in WA so I hope things will get worked out. The only thing I need to put in writing is the songs I want at my services. I need to get that down on paper and to my sister.



Great planning Rerun, but the keywords in your statement from the CA attorney= "should be ok".  When in doubt, check it out! I am sure that your neice will have the answers and that your sister and family will be so thankful that you prepared so well ahead of time.
Title: Re: Please take care...
Post by: twirl on November 29, 2008, 04:07:07 AM
I miss him :'(
Title: Re: Please take care...
Post by: pelagia on December 06, 2008, 03:21:08 PM
I know what you mean Twirl.