I Hate Dialysis Message Board
Off-Topic => Off-Topic: Talk about anything you want. => Topic started by: Deanne on August 03, 2008, 09:41:47 PM
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Take-off on another old thread. What's the dumbest or funniest non-medical thing you can remember someone telling you?
My mom is known for some doozies. On every holiday, every Thanksgiving, every Christmas, every Easter, etc, she tells me how awful it must be for me to spend the day alone. If I was a lonely person who didn't appreciate having the day to myself, I can imagine how awful her comments would make me feel.
Another one: I went to visit my family in June. My mom knows I HATE, HATE, HATE it when she gathers all of her relatives together, suppssedly in my honor when I'm home because they all want to see me so badly. I don't even know most of their names. She uses me as an excuse to gather her relatives. This year I almost canceled my visit home when my mom told me a couple days before my flight that I was really going to hate what she had planned, but she refused to tell me what she was scheming. My younger sister spilled the beans for me to quell my panic attack. When I got there, my older sister picked me up at the airport. I ranting about all of this to her on our way to meet up with my parents. We met my parents at a restaurant so they could drive me to the rest of the way to their house, a couple hours from the airport. At the restaurant, my sister was sitting directly in front of my, my mom was right next to me. My sister whispered to my mom, "She knows about the party." My mom whispered back, "How'd she find out?" My sister: "Denise (my other sister) told her." Me: "I can hear you!" For cryin' out loud, they had to practically whisper *through* me to talk to each other. Do they think I'm deaf???? :Kit n Stik;
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One more! Same vacation, next day......
My parents suggested we go out for dinner at the one and only restaurant in town. It's a town of 600. Between the time they suggested it and dinnertime, it started to storm. Wind, rain, thunder, lightening. Great storm! Mom was very worried about going out in it. She went on about it for a few minutes, talking about how stupid it was to even think about going out in that kind of weather and how she wished she'd taken something out of the freezer so we didn't need to go out, and did Dad and I think we should really still go? Um....... The restaurant is across the street from their house and they don't even walk over to it. They get in the car in the garage and Dad dropped us off right at the door, so Mom & I were outside for maybe 10 feet. Dad was probably outside for 20 feet. You don't need to park very far away in a small town. I'm going to laugh about that one for many, many years!
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Deanne, your Mom sounds like she's a lot of fun to be around.
Dumbest thing anyone ever said to me, have to think about that. There are so many & I'm drawing a blank right now. Duh.
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I have to work on my memory. I am sure I have at least one
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I was having miscarriages during the time I was teaching at a junior high.
A teacher told me God knows who will make good natural parents.
right, lady, ever listen to the news
I went to the right doctor and found out what was wrong and now have three children but there for awhile it was horrible.
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My mother died at 58 after a very long, debilitating struggle with liver failure, caused by a medical error when she was young. She had been sick for several years, had turned that awful jaundiced yellow, had lost enough weight that she looked skeletal, and was bloated from fluid retention in odd places. No amount of effort by the mortician could hide this, but we ended up with an open casket anyhow, because of my grandmother's insistence on it.
And yet, several people came up to me at the funeral and told me she looked good.
No, she looks dead. There's no good about it.
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Cop ask me a few years ago "Do you know why I stopped you?"
I wanted to say "Can I use a life line for an answer and I'll use the poll the audience"
Why do they ask you that when you usually know what you did, like do I get no ticket if I say the correct answer? :urcrazy; Or do I go to a bonus round.
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One more! My mom cracks me up. The favorite daughter story. Same vacation (it's a good thing I don't go back to MN very often!). My younger sister and I went out for happy hour and were laughing about the fact that she's Mom's favorite and the rest of us are very glad she's the favorite! :yahoo; A day or two later, my sister was at my parents' house and said something jokingly about being Mom's favorite. Later, Mom, Dad, and I were sitting at the kitchen table and Mom said "What's this about Denise being my favorite?" I said everyone knows Denise is her favorite. It's no big deal. Mom said, "I don't have favorites." pause, then "Besides (pointing at my Dad) someone else has his favoriite, too!" :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;
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I was shopping one day several years ago, and one of those really annoying utterly happy-to-be-there salesgirls comes up and asks what she can help me find. I very politely tell her that I'm "Just looking", which is my nice way of saying, "Leave me the f* alone, and let me shop in peace." So instead of going away, she begins to tell me about this sale they're having...everything is half-off. Yep, I gathered that from all the signs around me, thanks. THEN she feels the need to explain that the way it works, is "you take the price and you divide it by two, and..." That's when I simply rolled my eyes and walked away. :banghead; :Kit n Stik;
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Years ago, I locked my keys in my car, rushing to get ready for my high school graduation. Luckily I was at a shopping center and went into the grocery store and bought a package of wire coat hangers. I was bending and twisting the wire trying to snag the door lock and a guy comes up and ask if I locked my keys in my the car. I said no, just cleaning my windows. He walks away mad and going geesh. Well you asked an obvious stupid question, you deserve a stupid answer is my thought and you get mad about that, get a life! I miss that car though, didn't really need an ignition key, just a key to open the door and trunk, a typical GM old car problem :rofl;
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My answers: "What in the world do you eat?" and "So, what do you eat""
Years ago, I was a vegetarian (of the lacto-ovo variety - I still ate dairy products, eggs, and honey). My mom thinks being "vegetarian" is the equivalent to being an "alien".
Me: Yeah, I'm a vegetarian.
Mom: WHAT IN THE WORLD DO YOU EAT?
Me: Everything, except meat, fish, poutry, and game.
Mom: SO . . . WHAT DO YOU EAT?
:banghead;
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My answers: "What in the world do you eat?" and "So, what do you eat""
Years ago, I was a vegetarian (of the lacto-ovo variety - I still ate dairy products, eggs, and honey). My mom thinks being "vegetarian" is the equivalent to being an "alien".
Me: Yeah, I'm a vegetarian.
Mom: WHAT IN THE WORLD DO YOU EAT?
Me: Everything, except meat, fish, poutry, and game.
Mom: SO . . . WHAT DO YOU EAT?
:banghead;
And from that, the movie Back to the Future comes to mind. "Helllooo McFly anyone home in there?"
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^ I love my mom - she's the sweetest woman on the planet, bless her heart - but you've summed it up, PERFECTLY, Chris!
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I am certain my moter has said something too that probably just rolled off my shoulders or I wasn't there.
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Ok, tell me to quit whenever you get tired of these! :-)
My sister said she suggested to my Mom that they all come out to Oregon to see me for one of the holidays. Mom said "We can't do that. She doesn't cook!" :rofl; Mom hates to travel. Knowing that, I soooooo appreciate it that she came out to help me move last fall. She did a lot of the unpacking at my new place while Dad & I hauled stuff over from my old place.
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Ok, tell me to quit whenever you get tired of these! :-)
NEVER! We're all here to listen to each other and support each other! :grouphug;
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I taught special education in Conroe - everytime someone called for the "retarded teacher" the phone call was put thru to me.......
my son went to a rival junior high - we call him Bubba- go to one of his games and everyone knows who Bubba is -- Peet, his school played my school, Moorhead and we are a country school - I yelled "Go, Bubba" and all the players from Moorhead turned around and looked - every family had a "Bubba" and what is even better is my huband was my son's coach
we have t-shirts with the name of our school Moorhead on them
I wore it to a party and everyone thought I got it from a gag shop in the mall
not to be vulgar but get it ----- Moorhead - named after a person not an activity
our junior high students had fun with that and at the time the principal was Mr. Funk
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Darn it, I had one today, but it is more medical when I went to Physical Therapy today. Glad it was only a tech and not the theapist asking the dumb question. ??? ::)
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so what was it Chris :rofl;
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I was pushing my 1974 Pinto (yes, I actually owned one) home one day in the rain, no less, and two guys asked me from their porch if I was having car trouble. "No!" I replied, "I always take my car out for a push every day when it rains."
Assholes!
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so what was it Chris :rofl;
As I was hobbling to the pool and stepping up the steps to get in, she ask if I was having trouble with my leg. ??? ::) Nope just just giving my knee a rest from bending on one side is all! :urcrazy;
And just replies "OK"
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I was pushing my 1974 Pinto (yes, I actually owned one) home one day in the rain, no less, and two guys asked me from their porch if I was having car trouble. "No!" I replied, "I always take my car out for a push every day when it rains."
Assholes!
Nope, Just taking my car for a walk
Nope just giving my car some exercise......
Morons! Morons I say! :banghead; :banghead;
My dad had a pinto at one time also, a baby blue one with dark blue interior. ::)
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non-medical
nice butt, Chris
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I was pushing my 1974 Pinto (yes, I actually owned one) home one day in the rain, no less, and two guys asked me from their porch if I was having car trouble. "No!" I replied, "I always take my car out for a push every day when it rains."
Assholes!
:rofl; As the comedian, Bill Engvall would say (to the guys on the porch), "Here's your card!"
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No no no, "It's here's your sign" :rofl; That quote I know for sure more than my movie quotes. :rofl;
Comedy Central plays their stand up tour a lot.
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No no no, "It's here's your sign" :rofl; That quote I know for sure more than my movie quotes. :rofl;
Comedy Central plays their stand up tour a lot.
I stand corrected, sir! :shy; :thx;
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No no no, "It's here's your sign" :rofl; That quote I know for sure more than my movie quotes. :rofl;
Comedy Central plays their stand up tour a lot.
I stand corrected, sir! :shy; :thx;
Well it's best to be a smart :sir ken; than a dumb :sir ken; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;
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No no no, "It's here's your sign" :rofl; That quote I know for sure more than my movie quotes. :rofl;
Comedy Central plays their stand up tour a lot.
I stand corrected, sir! :shy; :thx;
Well it's best to be a smart :sir ken; than a dumb :sir ken; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;
You "crack" me up!!! :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;
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my husband, the coach
said- "well, now you can go to dialysis and sleep for four hours"
anyone who can sleep in my unit is brain dead
beeping, yelling, screaming, cussing and that is just me walking in the door
my husband--- just doesn't understand----- he slept thru hurricane Alicia
this is non-medical----- my husband is not a doctor
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We get these phone calls a lot for some reason. Some becaus they wrote the number down wrong, some given the wrong number (even by an employee), others I don't know what they did.
It is for a self storeage place, who also happens to have an employee with my first name :rant;
After a while you start to have fun with some of these people who are looking for new spaces and quote cheap fees and to tell them Chris quoted me that.
Wel a couple weeks ago one person calls and wakes me out of sleep that I just got to doing at 7 am andstarts asking aboout pricing and box sales. I told her this wasn't a storage facility, you reached the wrong number. So she asked if it was such and such a number. I said no and the last numbers where not close to our number, not even the first of the last four digits. Then she begins to argue how can that be, you have to be the such and such storage.... Nope and click! I don't need yelling in my ear when I am trying to get some rest
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My cell phone is close to a storage place number. I get some weird phone calls.
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Today while I was out taking a break from this computer crap I am working on, I stop at Burger King. I go thru the drive thru and the girl says " Welcome to Mc'Donald's"So being a smart :sir ken; I order a Quarter Pounder with Cheese. She then say's "We don't have that, that's another restaurant" I say, Well you just said it was Mc Donalds when you greeted me. :urcrazy;
I wonder if she will work there long :rofl;
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I wonder if she spit in your burger.
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when the kids were little and we lived in pinole, CA our number was on off from a gas station in another part of town. i was always getting calls for them and most everyone said ok and hung up. one day i told a caller who was looking for the gas station that he had the wrong number our number ended in 6 and the station number ended in 7 and he said, "no this isn't the wrong number, i called the number in my mother's phone book and she doesn't make mistakes".
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Why do people call gas stations in the first place?
Ok, I'm dying of laughter this morning. At work, I sit next to one of the laziest people on the face of this planet. He comes in 1/2 hour - 45 minutes late most days, leaves early, takes long lunches (1.5 to 2 hours) and in-between he surfs the internet. Most of our team is in Arizona, including our manager. We're in Oregon, so our manager doesn't see any of this and I'm not comfortable being a tattle-tale. I know he'll get busted without my help eventually anyway.
This morning, Pete came over to my cube right after he got to work. There's an airshow at the airport about a mile from here one weekend every August and it's this weekend. Pete said it might be prudent to leave work early today because roads might be closed due to the air show. I said I didn't think it would affect me (actually either of us). Neither of us goes past the airport on our way home and in past years, the road closures have always been on the other side of the airport and signs go up about road closures a couple weeks in advance -- I haven't seen any signs posted. Pete said he was going to use it as an excuse to leave early anyway. :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;
A couple of his better excuses to leave early in the past:
- "I've had enough for today. I'm going home to play with my dog." This was at noon one day. He got tired of surfing the web early that day????
- "My wife needs my car, so I'm going to work from home this afternoon." This was at 11:30 one day. A week later, I said something about logging in from home to work and he said he didn't know if he even could log in from home because it had been so long since he'd tried.
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- "My wife needs my car, so I'm going to work from home this afternoon." This was at 11:30 one day. A week later, I said something about logging in from home to work and he said he didn't know if he even could log in from home because it had been so long since he'd tried.
In the infamous words of Homer Simpson, "d'oh!"
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It just keeps getting better. I guess since the roads-closed excuse wasn't going to work, he needed to try harder. He came over to my cube at 1:00 to tell me he was leaving because his neighbors installed a new fence. He knew the fence was coming months ago. His neighbor told him they were planning to replace it and what the replacement would be. He didn't have a problem with it. The new fence is wire and now people can see into his neglected yard. I'm not sure how his going home so early changed anything though. He didn't give any indication that he was going to do anything about the state of the yard. He said before he left today that people are only outside about three months out of the year, so the condition of the yard isn't important. He sure made me curious though. I might need to do a drive-by.
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Just take some :pics; :pics; and secretly record what he says and mail an unmarked letter to your manager. They won't know it is you and they may make a suprise inspection. :rofl; :rofl;
hat a bonehead this guy is. How much does he get paid? I want his job, but at least I'll be doing something.
anyway,
I called tech support because i was having problems with this new wireless router my dad was having me set up. The guy ask me a bunch of questions, I told him that I was working on such and such router, with such and such cable modem on a Microsoft Vista machine. He then ask me what operrating system I was using. hello, duhh, what the heck did I just tell you? Then of course he ask if I could install it on a XP system. I had to ask "How is that gonna solve my problem if I don't have XP? (which I did, 3 other computers, but not where the router is). Then he starts pulling crap out of his :sir ken; on what to try, so I hung up on him He was also making loud noises over the pphone as if he was eating or brushing up against something for a long time. IDIOT Tech Support :rant;
Solved the problem on my own, manuals were useless also.
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maybe he is growing "weeds" in his yard
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my youngest daugher, Missy, wanted to know how close we are to Georgia b/c it is being bombed------
thank goodness she is beautiful------- her picture is in the post --- my family----