I Hate Dialysis Message Board
Dialysis Discussion => Dialysis: Spouses and Caregivers => Topic started by: petey on July 23, 2008, 12:40:33 PM
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Hey, all! I've been away for a few days. Marvin had an pseudo-aneurysm pop up on his arm (old graft site -- haven't used it in 3 years -- had grafts, all 3 of them, removed in December). We found it last week, saw the surgeon on Friday, had surgery Monday. Our usual surgeon is out of the country on a six-month mission trip to Haiti. The surgeon's assistant (has assisted with quite a few of Marvin's surgeries in the past) repaired the artery where the pseudo-aneursym was. He said it was a relatively uncomplicated surgery (which is quite unusual for Marvin -- he usually is very complicated!). Marvin had to spend the night in the hospital, and we came home late yesterday (Tuesday). He's sore and a little weak, but he's doing okay.
When did we get this .. :flower; ? I love it!
I've got to catch up here on the boards. We certainly write a lot to each other every day, don't we? I'm gone for two days, and there's lots to read!
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I hope Marvin has a speedy recovery - thank you for the update.
The flower is new! :flower;
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:bestwishes; Marvin
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petey, :cuddle; I'm so sorry. Tell Marvin to get better fast. I'm happy to hear there were no complications. We had had so many problems lately that I am thinking about having myself commit someplace. :flower; Take time to take care of yourself too.
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Petey, send Marvin a BIG hug from me. Hang in there girlfriend. :flower;
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glad to hear marvin had it easy this time and is already home, big hugs to all
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:grouphug; Speedy Recovery Marvin!
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:grouphug;
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Sorry about the surgery for Marvin, Petey, but thank goodness for once it was straightforward. I always miss you when you don't post for a bit and you know we all worry a little, so I'm glad you're back. I bet Mandy May is glad Marvin's home also. :grouphug;
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glad you are back
:flower; got it just in time for you
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Glad Marvin is home.
Wishing him a speedy recovery.
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It's great that something was a little easier for a change. Tell Marvin we all send :grouphug; and here's one for you from me :cuddle;
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Hope Marvin is doing good now that he is home. We all love the new :flower;
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Sorry about the surgery for Marvin, Petey, but thank goodness for once it was straightforward. I always miss you when you don't post for a bit and you know we all worry a little, so I'm glad you're back. I bet Mandy May is glad Marvin's home also. :grouphug;
It just occurred to me that I haven't told you all the story of Mandy May (Marvin's German Shepherd puppy). Bottom line -- we had to give her back. Oh, no, I'm going to start crying again. I hope I can get through telling this. We had had her for almost three months. She is a loving, sweet, happy girl, and she seemed to adore all three of us (Marvin, me, and Hop-Sing -- he's my six-year-old Pug/Peke mix). However, we started having a problem. Mandy May was hyper -- and when I say "hyper," I mean HY--PER !! She was very playful, and it got to the point where she was too playful with Marvin. She would jump (and I just couldn't break her from it) on Marvin. His skin is like tissue paper anyway, and she was constantly scratching him (not intentionally and definitely not meaning to hurt him), and he would start bleeding. One time, her paw brushed very, very near his fistula and put a large scratch there -- it was just an inch from his fistula. We both got very nervous over that one! She was jumping on me, too, but my body is a lot tougher than Marvin's. I noticed that he was getting very, very cautious (I don't want to say "scared," but he was definitely pulling away from contact with her -- both physically and emotionally). To compound matters, she was getting BIG -- like 50 pounds and only 4 1/2 months old! A trainer was helping Marvin with her, and the trainer said she would be an extremely large dog -- probably 100 pounds when full grown. The trainer also said the "puppy stage" would probably last until she was 9 months - one year old. So, what did I do? I did what I always do where Marvin is concerned -- I decided I could make it work for him. (I always do this -- I get determined that whatever Marvin wants, I'll force it to work for him -- do other caregivers do the same?). Anyway, I took over total care of her. We would walk for 45 minutes early in the morning and another 45 minutes late at night. (Those walks were so good for me -- and Mandy, too. We both got a lot of pent-up energy out strolling around the neighborhood.) I would stand between her and Marvin so she couldn't jump on him. I started doing all the "training" with her. Then, I noticed a change in her -- she started becoming "my" dog in her mind. She even got to the point where she wanted to sleep with me -- which wouldn't have been bad except she waited until Marvin, Hop-Sing, and I were snuggled in the bed and then she'd take a flying leap and land right in the middle of our bed. That scared all three of us! I bought a kennel and put it in the den to make a place for her to sleep. She cried and whined all night long. Several nights, I slept on the floor in the den beside her kennel -- that was the only way she would calm down. Mandy May had this problem -- she thought she was a small poodle -- she was prissy, always wanted to sit in my lap, didn't realize her own strength or her own weight, and was getting big enough to put her paws on the kitchen table and take whatever she wanted. Marvin finally said, "This isn't going to work."
We thought about what we could do. One friend suggested we move her to the yard -- well, we live in a neighborhood in town and don't have a fenced-in yard. That wouldn't work. We thought about an underground fence, but I just couldn't bear the thought of the "shock" collar on her. A small pen in the yard would never work -- that just wouldn't be fair to her. So, Marvin called the guy who let me have her for $50 and asked if there was another family who could take her. The guy said he'd take her back and keep her for himself. That was about two weeks ago.
The afternoon he came to get her, I cried and cried. I packed all of her toys, her food and water bowl, her blanket, her records, and her "treats" in a large bag. I couldn't watch him as he took out of the house and put her in his truck. I have cried every day since then.
Marvin says we did the best we could with her -- and then the best we could for her. It still breaks my heart.
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Hi Petey, first of all I'm glad you're back and Marvin is OK, :cuddle; big hug for him.
I am so sorry to hear about Mandy May, I know you both loved her and she loved you both but you have done the best thing for all of you. You tried hard to make it work and when it didn't then you did the sensible and responsible thing and returned her to her breeder rather than a dog's home or just putting an advert in the paper and letting her go to just anyone. I know you will be heartbroken (both of you) but looking on the bright side I bet Hop Sing isn't too upset :)
It's very strange but about 3 weeks ago I bought a "German Shephard Rules of the House" notice to send to you but something stopped me posting it, now I know why.
Now this flower has appeared to cheer us all up :flower; and it will drive you mad but if you look the bunny :bunny: he blinks his eyes every time the flower opens, just watch -.....................there now aren't you smiling.
Love to both of you :grouphug;
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So glad to hear that Marvin is out. Sorry about Mandy May. Here is a row of flowers to cheer you up
:flower; :flower; :flower; :flower; :flower; :flower; :flower; :flower;
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Hi,
Glad to read that Marvin is doing well, and so sorry about the
tough choice you had tomake regarding Mandi.
Petey, just know in your heart it was the right one, for you guys
and for the Pup!
Hugs, Anne :cuddle; :waving; :cuddle;
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Mandy may will be able to adjust at her age so don't feel bad. I know how much you love her and she knew that. As for you and Marvin it was the best choice and if you look at it from a different perspective you are not robbing her from being her playful self.
Maybe a small dog that is older from the Humane Society would be a better choice. Glad Marvins is out of the hospital. :grouphug;
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Oh petey and Marvin. :cuddle; I am so sorry about Mandy May. I'm sure it is heartbreaking to you both. I totally understand what were are saying about Marvins skin. Winnie who is just a little squirt has managed to make Len's arms and hands look like someone has beat him up. Even her little pads leave black and blue marks on him. Mandy is going to be a big girl isn't she? I'm so happy that the gentleman that you got her from took her back, should be easier for her, not so much for you and Marvin. We wouldn't want Marvin to get hurt. Tell Marvin he needs to spend more time with Hop Sing. I'm happy you are both home and that Marvin is on the mend, and would tell him to share that wonderful positive attitude he has. What a guy. :flower; You two take care. We've missed you.
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I am sorry about Mandy May. I think you did the right thing. My neighbors have had a similar situation. Laura has had many recurrences of cancer and her health isn't good. They have always had little dogs, but decided to get a Boxer pup. He was cute but he grew sooo big that Laura couldn't control him. He jumped ,barked and pulled Laura around. This is the dog that got loose from Laura and attacked our dog, blinding him in one eye. So,last week they spent $5000 for a privacy fence. Now he runs all over their beautiful back yard barking at everything and ruining their yard. They have no control over him. Laura doesn't have the energy to deal with the dog and her husband doesn't have the patience. I admire you for realizing the situation just wasn't working for anyone. I know it was an extremely hard decision, but a wise one in the long run. The original owner will love her and take good care of her. Your first priority is Marvin.
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Sorry about Mandy May
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I am so sorry Mandy Many didn't fit in well.
I know it has to be so hard for all 3 of you.
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:grouphug;
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Aww Petey, I'm so sorry it didn't work out with Mandy May but you guys sure gave it your best shot and she clearly loved you as much as you did her. Hop Sing might be a little relieved or maybe a bit bored now that the entertainment is gone. :grouphug;
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Listen, don't worry. You did the right thing for Marvin's health. We adopted a dog years ago - Buster - that had been loved by a family of kids and their grandparents after their mom died of AIDS. Then the kids' dad decided to take them and wouldn't (or couldn't) take the dog. The dog came to us from NY and we loved him 'til he died of old age. Buster adjusted and was very happy after a relatively short time. :flower;
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I'm so glad Marvin is home, mending, and everything is going better with his health.
Sorry to hear about Mandy May, but you did the best thing for her happiness, Marvin's physical health, and Hop-sing's mental health. :) If you are still wanting a dog for Marvin, you can find an animal shelter where they really know their animals, explain the situation, and maybe they can suggest one of their dogs for your family.
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Glad Marvin is home and going well. :flower; So sorry you had to get rid of your "puppy" but a 100 lb puppy in a house jumping on everything and everybody is not a good situation. We had a siberian husky thhat was about 60 lbs and he could easily knock me down if I didn't see him coming and he jumped on me!!! Your "puppy" will be looked after by its owner. :cuddle;
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I bought a gentleleader head collar for our dog when she was inthe jumping stage and put her on leash with me for a week until she got the idea of how to act in the house. She literally was on the leash with me inside the house. When she went outside I took the head collar off. It made a real impression on her and she stopped acting crazy. It is tough. You have to find what will work with each pet.
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So sorry to hear about Marvin and Mandy May. Hope things will soon settle down for you all.
Love, Mimi
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Oh Petey, so sorry to hear about Mandy. I know what it's like to have a big dog, Scooby is 8 mos old and is over 50 lbs, he will most likely reach 70 lbs when he is finished growing. My deceased dog Skye was a whopping 100 lbs which is huge for a female lab. We are starting to phase out of the crazy "puppy" stage with Scooby, but it's a lot of work.
One thing to note in the future that really worked for us. We put a blanket over Scooby's crate when he sleeps. This is the only way he will stay in his crate, he loves the feeling of it being his own den. Perhaps a smaller dog would work better?
Hope Marvin is doing better!
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Were you able to find an older more gentler dog? How's Marvin doing?
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No luck in finding an older, gentler dog for Marvin, but we're still looking.
Marvin's doing great! He had another check-up yesterday for his most recent surgery (pseudo-aneurysm on old graft site that had to be repaired on July 22), and his surgeon said everything looked perfect and turned him loose ("You know where to find me if you need me," he said). We also took off for a "mini" vacation this past week -- a few days in the mountains, so that was nice. I start back to school in two weeks (where has the summer gone????), and Marvin's not looking forward to that -- he likes it when I'm home with him all day.
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Too bad you have to go back to school but you do what has to be done. Glad Marvin is doing better. What about a kitten? declawed? I don't like cats but most people do. At least cats just like to curl up with people and it would help Marvin pass the time while your at school. Just a thought.
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I loooooove kitty cats! Marvin can't stand them ! What's wrong with HIM ! :rant;
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Hmmm you could always let Marvin on here to pass his time while you are at school >:D but I guess you won't do that :rofl; Glad to hear you guys are doing well. :cuddle;
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Oh bummer...school...ok teach Marvin how to type... :rofl;..so he can fill us in...oh well..that sounded better in my head. I have been thinking about a cat...but I have plants.....oh well...dog thought...some friends of mine in TN a few years ago got a dog that was being retired from "home service". Ivy had taken care of crippled patients etc. She was a huge black lab and we all loved her. They lived about 3 blocks from me and once we met she would come visit me as soon as they let her out to do her business. I would massage her and she would be on her way, I have trouble standing up and she would always back up to me so I could hold her hips if needed...I knew she was in pain by this time so never did use her to pull myself up, would just pretend to do this. The smartest dog I ever met. Ivy was with us for 10 years after service. I would make necklaces for her as she loved them and collected them and would bring the one she wanted to wear to have it put on. She lost her vision about the same time I did and then passed away a few months ago from arthritis etc., I digress....can you tell I loved her? Anyhow...check around and see if any organizations are adopting out their service dogs to retire them....or let's all start checking sources around us and perhaps can find a companion for Marvin or anyone of us. I also read Bill P's article about the dogs in NW. Great idea.
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Hope Marvin is feeling better! :cuddle; to you!
Lori/Indiana