I Hate Dialysis Message Board
Dialysis Discussion => Dialysis: News Articles => Topic started by: okarol on July 14, 2008, 11:32:25 PM
-
I'D FLY 10,000 MILES TO GIVE YOU MY KIDNEY
Evening Post
07:49 - 14 July 2008
She's been there through thick and thin - her shoulder to cry on, her holiday companion and her bridesmaid.
Now devoted pal Hilary O'Shea has flown 10,000 miles from Australia to donate a kidney to her best friend Frances Valentine.Mrs O'Shea, who lives in Melbourne, couldn't bear to see her friend of more than 20 years become more ill.
After several months in the planning the pair yesterday underwent the transplant at Bristol's Southmead Hospital.
Mrs Valentine, from Atwell, near Box in Wiltshire, has suffered with kidney problems for many years, but it is only recently her condition has started to deteriorate.
Husband Keith was tested to see if he could be a donor, but was not compatible.
Then Mrs O'Shea stepped in.
She said: "I came over two years ago to visit and asked Frances how she was, she told me things were getting worse. I said then that I'd donate my kidney if she needed me to; it went without saying.
"She's my best friend. It's just so nice to be able to do it. We've always been there for each other, whether it's someone to talk to, to go on holiday with or now to go through this with."
Mrs Valentine added: "I knew that she meant it and knew Hilary was the sort of person who, once she decides something, she makes it happen.
"I was worrying a bit about the responsibility of involving someone else in my problem, but it's a very well-oiled machine at the hospital's renal unit with a great success rate and Hilary wasn't worried.
"It's great to have someone who you know is completely committed to it and who would follow it through and with the full support of her husband Anthony."
Mrs O'Shea, a mother of two, said she enjoys a glass of wine but has not touched a drop of alcohol in the three months running up to the operation.
The pair, who are both in their 40s, met in the early 1980s when they were both living in London. Mrs Valentine had booked a holiday to Africa with her partner at the time but was left with no one to go with when they split up.
Mrs O'Shea said: "I was living with a friend of her partner's and he mentioned that Frances had no one to go on holiday with. I'd only met her a few times, but jokingly said I'd go on a free holiday.
"Four days later we were on our way to Tunisia. The weather was miserable, but we had a fantastic time. We've been friends ever since. We were young, single women living in London. We had a great time."
A few years later Mrs O'Shea went on holiday to Australia and loved it so much she decided to live there.
Mrs Valentine, a mother of one, said: "I drove her to the airport and couldn't stop crying. It was awful. But I knew we'd stay friends. Every time we meet it's like we saw each other yesterday."
The duo were bridesmaids for each others, one in Melbourne in 1996 and the other in London in 1997, and have spent many a late night or early morning chatting on the phone.
Two years ago, Mrs Valentine, who suffers with polycystic kidneys, was almost put on dialysis, but managed to plough on through the headaches and exhaustion without it.
Doctors say if her friend had not stepped in then she would almost certainly have had to endure tri- weekly dialysis sessions.
Mrs O'Shea said: "It wasn't a difficult decision: my best friend needed help and I was in a position to give it.
"Even if I'd have had any doubts, just being in the hospital and seeing all the people on dialysis and how ill they looked would have been enough.
"Frances looks quite well at the moment but I'd hate the thought of her having to rely on dialysis like that."
Mrs Valentine added: "Dialysis is far from easy. I've managed to avoid it so far and it makes me even more grateful to Hilary."
Surgeon Paul Lear, who performed Mrs Valentine's operation, said: "We try to time the transplant so that people are on the cusp of needing dialysis.
"If we didn't do the transplant now then Frances would probably be on dialysis as her kidney function is below 10 per cent. We're quite good at judging that here.
"I've worked here for 17 years and we've had three or four international donors, but Australia is the furthest.
"I t's quite remarkable. It's no different to donating here. There are strict regulations and the donor undergoes the same tests. Frances's progress will be followed up.
"She and Hilary will be seen once here after the operation and any others will take place in Australia.
"L iving donation is fairly straightforward. As long as the blood group is compatible we can usually proceed."
Last night Mr Valentine said the operation had gone as well as everyone had hoped and both were recovering in hospital.
He said: "It seems like everything went very well. Everyone seems to be smiling, which is always a good sign."
Mrs O'Shea will spend another couple of days in hospital before returning to Australia next month.
Mrs Valentine can expect to remain in hospital for two weeks to ensure there are no post-op complications.
She said: "Your family are more likely to be a close match, but you don't have to be related to donate. I don't think everyone realises that but it's important they do."
For more information on National Transplant Week visit www.uktransplant.org.uk .