Chapter 1 is here http://ihatedialysis.com/forum/index.php?topic=7935.msg118717#msg118717
Chapter 2
The Death of Dr. Phil
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Panda silently entered. He crept toward the stunning expensive gold painted gondola with bad intentions. Only to realize someone else was groping Dr. Phil.
It was Rosie by Jackson Browne he was singing
She was standing at the load-in
When the trucks delivered
cases of beer for the circus clowns
who always showed up
whenever they were performing in town
oh sweet Rosie
you and me always laughing sweetly
under the loading of the bus
... the song trails off into darkness.
Dr. Phil turned to the clowns grinning manically he punched a red nosed floppy footed big mouth toe-tapping yellow garter wearing Godfather. He was dead by morning.
Dr. Phil was never missed, except every tenth anniversary. When faithful followers dug up his bones and danced the macarena, chanting
"Do, Run, Run"
"Do, Run, Run"
"Tell me your hat size Columbo".
Meanwhile, the Panda took her clothes off, so that she could sunbake her little red pizza oven. Startled easily, the omnivorous stripped off her Panda's Secrets garments holster, knife sheath, and helmet while a hazy cloud painted her eighty-second superfluous nipple, teal.
Satisfied, she turned to confront Zoltron whose cold stare falls upon Myrtle as she embraces the handsome, evil iguana wearing a very curious expression.
Mean while Lester the ever cleaver test tube tester looked in his wallet but unfortunately everything was gone even his tester so he called for an end to break dancing.
The fire alarm sent Zoltron, Myrtle and barbie running out the side portal, becoming weightless. "hey!" "how did we eat this cheese?" eating it without first taking binders. Damn! We're so likely to be ........... banned from IHD Banned, banned, banned!
Panda no longer needed the silencer, so he tossed up his cookies immediately. Midnight struck as Panda transformed in to a chubby, charming little three toed periwinkle blue-eyed nymph. "My bad", hollered Myrtle, as she munched dog biscuits extra large biscuits, while watching her waistline expand. Above she would imagine Voltron circling aimlessly. He just couldn't convince himself to walk to the potapotty, he really had to go the lucky bastard.
Myrtle walked toward the blazing blue Volkswagen parked near the pink striped volunteer hospital girl who applied ointment that smelled suspiciously like cotton candy. It was puffy and pink, with oodles and oodles of sticky, sugary honey bees covered in beer batter. She opened the bottle of exotic toilet water and drank it down. get toilet paper quickly, I need a mad hat.
Feeling dizzy, she crashed head first into a quiche that melted her wax teeth into the form of a bowling ball. Her face hurt.
Panda now morphed into Ninja Panda and headed for a panda pajama party in Australia with Amanda and Kit who was in Victoria Secret's perusing the merchandise. When she felt the pokadot dress pinch her not a very hard for her because it became a large lobster.
Garfield the cat.
Chapter 1 is here http://ihatedialysis.com/forum/index.php?topic=7935.msg118717#msg118717
Chapter 2 The Death of Dr. Phil is here http://ihatedialysis.com/forum/index.php?topic=7935.msg119725#msg119725
Chapter 3
The Passion of Sluff Bunny
Covered in butter the lobster screamed "The plane, the plane take Lobster?"
"No, Jet Fuel", "Lobster want vacation to beautiful Caribbean island of Aruba Pretty pretty please"
"Enough!" Panda whirled about, striking Lobster knocking him into the very pretty yet oddly shaped swimsuit model Bianca, who threw her purse at Panda. Lobster fell on Red Lobsters' door "Help Sponge Bob!". go grab Kitkatz and some gin.
Meanwhile, Sluff kissed Myrtle with passion not realizing Zoltron dreamed of Sluff as a bunny. Yummy bunny stew. Fluffy fluffy Sluffy. Hearing his destiny he hid eggs and fresh carrots in an attempt to find love. Can it be? When he saw what he had hidden for Myrtle he was impressed with his creativeness. Who would guess such a delicate relationship could develop between a bunny and such a fiery Italian heptathlete.
Looking back over their impulsive romance was a shattering awareness of familiar sorrows and little unsatisfactory events that causes all of the gut wrenching horrible gas passing between them all. No one was prepared for the green fog of jealousy and lies that smelt as like pickles.
Meanwhile, in a nearby rabbit hutch, there the elephant tooted,the pig flew, and the neighbors cried. it was the anniversary of the "Rattlesnake Incident" which stunned all the neighbors. had Dr Phil lived in a coma none of this would be true.
The snakes had eyes big as a buick and skin shiny as soft satin pillows but those snakes were very tasty especially with ketchup. however, indigestion was chicken fried snake type of indigestion, crawls up your leg to your brain rendering you totally stupid and unable to sing.
At American Idol where they discovered the singers sang because they ate the poison apple the wicked witch had under her horrible, sickening spell she couldn't imagine why they wouldn't shut-up and sing. sing, sing a song, sing out of your mouth, not your :sir ken; (that's used for well, never mind) something else.
Myrtle stood and watched the parade of musicans and tiny acrobatic mice who burped and passed city hall. Sadly they were blind and ran right into a giant Cat named Garfield.
"mmmm mouse lasagna would go well with Sluff Bunny stew," he mused. Fine red wine and burning candles weren't enough to save Sluff bunny from foaming foreign Aussie Forum Writers e gads, and Garfield the cat.