I Hate Dialysis Message Board

Off-Topic => Off-Topic: Talk about anything you want. => Topic started by: paris on March 05, 2008, 07:14:25 PM

Title: Dark clouds
Post by: paris on March 05, 2008, 07:14:25 PM
They are back, hanging over head again and I hate it.  I am trying so hard to be "up and bubbly" but it just isn't working right now.  Transplant center #2 called yesterday, basically to remind me how slim my chances are. They do not offer just IVIG therapy, but will continue to test anyone who is willing to donate. They are the center that has the sensitized program.  But, as most of you know, after 5 people tested, there is always a reason to rule them out.   No news from transplant center #1 regarding getting me into their IVIG program ---- but I keep bugging them. Maybe they will get sick of hearing from me and accept me.  Medical bills keep coming; always stressful.  And this week, I have missed my job more than ever.  I should be working on spring projects, Mother's Day Tea, end of year parties.  I am tired of having to give up or change so much and it will only get worse before it ever gets better.    I know there is so much good in my life, but I think this week  just took the wind out of my sails.   Thanks---just needed to put it into words.
Title: Re: Dark clouds
Post by: kidney4traci on March 05, 2008, 07:54:48 PM
 :grouphug; :cuddle;
Title: Re: Dark clouds
Post by: jbeany on March 05, 2008, 08:03:31 PM
 :grouphug;

Sometimes the silver linings are really hard to find.  Hope you get a break in the clouds soon.
Title: Re: Dark clouds
Post by: Mimi on March 05, 2008, 09:05:24 PM
Thinking of you and my prayers are with you. :grouphug;

Love, Mimi
Title: Re: Dark clouds
Post by: rose1999 on March 05, 2008, 10:38:17 PM
Oh Paris you sound so sad, I wish I could give you a big hug  :cuddle;  I hope that knowing we all care about you will make you realise that you are a special person and help you feel just that little bit better.  Hope the cloud soon starts to lift and a beautiful sunshine fills your heart  :grouphug;
Title: Re: Dark clouds
Post by: Joe Paul on March 05, 2008, 10:56:34 PM
Paris, I hope things look up for you   :cuddle;
Title: Re: Dark clouds
Post by: Clancy1600 on March 06, 2008, 02:54:53 AM
 :grouphug;  Love you, Paris.  I hope the dark clouds go away soon.
Title: Re: Dark clouds
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on March 06, 2008, 03:21:42 AM
This doesn't sound like the  Paris who is my tower of strenghth, I'm so sorry you're feeling like this Paris. I take it IVIG is some kind of transplant build up is it? Are they saying that it's family donors who are unsuitable or that your tissue and blood group are difficult to match. I do hope those clouds clear away soon. I'm thinking of you Paris. Would it cheer you up if I let you loose with my credit card again? ;D  :grouphug; :grouphug; :grouphug;
Title: Re: Dark clouds
Post by: Sluff on March 06, 2008, 03:27:25 AM
 :grouphug; Try to do something fun today. Like you could jet set to Milwaukee and make sure Boxman's hospital gown is the right size.  :)
or you could come along and make sure me and Kit have bail money. :) or last but not least you could come to Milwaukee and get a couple of really needed hugs.  :grouphug;  :grouphug; here they are just in case you can't make it to Milwaukee on short notice. Hope you are feeling  better today.
Title: Re: Dark clouds
Post by: Romona on March 06, 2008, 04:03:50 AM
Paris I have no words of wisdom.  :grouphug; :'(
Title: Re: Dark clouds
Post by: kimcanada on March 06, 2008, 04:18:10 AM
Dear Paris:

You always have the perfect thing to tell others that are going through just what you are going through, all I can say is that I am thinking about you today.  Its hard to believe what you are givin, but you will overcome :)

Kim
Title: Re: Dark clouds
Post by: xtrememoosetrax on March 06, 2008, 05:32:12 AM
Thinking of you, Paris, and sending good thoughts and hugs your way.  :cuddle; :grouphug;  Hugs to Styx, too!  :grouphug;
Title: Re: Dark clouds
Post by: KT0930 on March 06, 2008, 06:20:55 AM
Paris, so sorry you're going through such a rough time. I wish I had just the right words to comfort you.  :grouphug;
Title: Re: Dark clouds
Post by: skyedogrocks on March 06, 2008, 06:27:47 AM
I'm sorry you are feeling so down, it's definitely understandable why you are.  Is there any way you can help volunteer at the school you worked at or perhaps be a substitute teacher?  Maybe you could volunteer at an Old Age Home or something like that.  Maybe getting out now and then to take your mind off things might help.   Big hugs, you need them  :cuddle;
Title: Re: Dark clouds
Post by: thegrammalady on March 06, 2008, 08:03:19 AM
sounds like what you need is a big dose of spring. hopefully today is finding you a bit better. big hugs for you   :cuddle;   :cuddle;   :cuddle;
Title: Re: Dark clouds
Post by: KICKSTART on March 06, 2008, 08:18:45 AM
We all have dark days , hopefully something will come along out of nowhere to brighten yours  :cuddle;
Title: Re: Dark clouds
Post by: MyssAnne on March 06, 2008, 08:43:37 AM
No words, just hugs, and comfort.

 :grouphug; :grouphug; :cuddle; :cuddle;
Title: Re: Dark clouds
Post by: The Wife on March 06, 2008, 08:45:36 AM
 Me too
:grouphug;  :grouphug; :grouphug;
Title: Re: Dark clouds
Post by: Ohio Buckeye on March 06, 2008, 08:50:10 AM
I;m sorry Paris that you're having a down time.
Come to Ohio and we'll do Donatos or Der Dutchman.
That's sure to lift your spirits.
Wishing you brightr days ahead.
Title: Re: Dark clouds
Post by: rose1999 on March 06, 2008, 09:38:48 AM
I;m sorry Paris that you're having a down time.
Come to Ohio and we'll do Donatos or Der Dutchman.
That's sure to lift your spirits.
Wishing you brightr days ahead.


Sorry but I just have to ask what (or who) is Donatos and Der Dutchman ........ my (british!) mind is boggling  :rofl;
Title: Re: Dark clouds
Post by: okarol on March 06, 2008, 09:40:10 AM
Paris,
All I can think of is your strength and love as you held my hand at Susie's rosary.
You seem to be a pillar of strength and a sea of calm on the outside.
I pray you have better days. Answers will come, even if there are bumps along the road.
I love you so much  :cuddle;
Title: Re: Dark clouds
Post by: paris on March 06, 2008, 09:59:16 AM
Thanks, everyone. 

Okarol, that time with you and Vandie was so special. Quietly saying prayers, feeling the love everyone had for Susie. It is a memory I will always cherish.   What can make me laugh out loud is "GeeeJuusss" 


Rose, they are my two favorite places to eat in Ohio.  I grew up there and my family is still there.   Donatos is my favorite pizza and Der Dutchman is good old Germain cooking; lots of pork, saurkraut, potatoes,boiled vegetables and tons of side dishes.  My mother loved it and in her last stages of Alzheimers, it is the only place we could take her.  She love the lemon pie, especially.

Ohio Buckey, I am coming to Ohio in April.  We need to plan a time to meet. :2thumbsup;
Title: Re: Dark clouds
Post by: okarol on March 06, 2008, 10:01:26 AM
"GeeeJuusss"  :rofl;  :rofl; BWAHAHAHA! Funniest thing ever!
Title: Re: Dark clouds
Post by: rose1999 on March 06, 2008, 10:04:09 AM
Thanks Paris, I thought they were some sort of game you were going to play  :rofl; I am learngin such a lot about world culture.  I'm glad you have posted on here and (hopefully) read all the comments.  Hope you will feel brighter soon  :grouphug;
Title: Re: Dark clouds
Post by: paris on March 06, 2008, 10:49:55 AM
Rose,  :cuddle;  you are so sweet and you always brighten my day.

Okarol, I am just going to keep repeating "GeeJuusss" all day and it should help my mood :thumbup;
Title: Re: Dark clouds
Post by: Ohio Buckeye on March 06, 2008, 12:54:24 PM
Donatos is a very popular pizza shop in Ohio.
Der Dutchman is a wonderful Amish restaurant where the food is out of this world.
Paris is from Ohio so she is acquainted with these 2 well known eating spots.
Both places cause me to overeat. But they are goooooooooooooooooooooooood eating!
Title: Re: Dark clouds
Post by: Ohio Buckeye on March 06, 2008, 01:01:05 PM
Wow, I do hope we get to meet soon.
That would be so great!
I'm not driving yet but will find a way to work it out.
I'll be looking forward to seeing you.
Sorry, I didn't see that you had already answered the Donatos=Der Dutchman ?. 
Title: Re: Dark clouds
Post by: Bajanne on March 06, 2008, 01:06:07 PM
Coming a bit late on this one, Paris, but I still need you to know that my caring thoughts and prayers are with you.  You are really a very appreciated member of the IHD family, and it is hard to know that you have to go through your days of dark clouds.  But i also know that  you are strong, and YOU WILL MAKE IT THROUGH! :cuddle;
Title: Re: Dark clouds
Post by: paris on March 06, 2008, 03:56:19 PM
Bajanne, I think I need to come down and visit you, sit on the tropical beach and have a cabana boy bring me fruity drinks with little umbrellas in them.  I know this will pass, soon. Could just be a delayed reaction to losing Susie.  You are always so kind to everyone.  I love the phrase "caring thoughts and prayers". They sound just like loving arms feel. :cuddle;
Title: Re: Dark clouds
Post by: Beth36 on March 06, 2008, 04:11:48 PM
I know I don't post too much but you have always made me feel better when I'm worried about my mom....just wanted to give you a hug!


Beth
Title: Re: Dark clouds
Post by: del on March 06, 2008, 05:33:11 PM
Hope those dark clouds pass soon, Paris!!!   :grouphug; :cuddle;
Title: Re: Dark clouds
Post by: Sluff on March 06, 2008, 05:48:42 PM
Bajanne, I think I need to come down and visit you, sit on the tropical beach and have a cabana boy bring me fruity drinks with little umbrellas in them.  I know this will pass, soon. Could just be a delayed reaction to losing Susie.  You are always so kind to everyone.  I love the phrase "caring thoughts and prayers". They sound just like loving arms feel. :cuddle;

Take me with you. I'll be real good.
Title: Re: Dark clouds
Post by: paris on March 06, 2008, 06:39:37 PM
It won't be any fun if you are real good! :rofl;  Maybe you could be the cabana boy?     :rofl;    Ok, you made me laugh!
Title: Re: Dark clouds
Post by: rose1999 on March 06, 2008, 11:13:09 PM
It won't be any fun if you are real good! :rofl; 
Depends what he's real good at  :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;
Title: Re: Dark clouds
Post by: Sunny on March 06, 2008, 11:31:56 PM
Hang in there Paris. This too shall pass.
Try to get out there in the world and feel a connectedness with others.
Plan something you like for the near future so you can have something positive to look forward to.
Spring is just around the corner, and all the beauty that goes with it.
Wishing you the best.
Title: Re: Dark clouds
Post by: Joe Paul on March 07, 2008, 12:24:19 AM
Paris, I am hoping you feel better today, sending you a hug!!   :cuddle;
Title: Re: Dark clouds
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on March 07, 2008, 03:13:14 AM
Hope you're feeling better today Paris  :cuddle;
Title: Re: Dark clouds
Post by: KT0930 on March 07, 2008, 04:56:34 AM
Thinking of you, Paris.  :cuddle;
Title: Re: Dark clouds
Post by: paris on March 07, 2008, 06:27:37 AM
Thank you friends.  I can never be down for long---there is too much to do and I need to push through. Today I need to stain threshold boards, work on drywall, buy groceries, pick out paint,do laundry, clean, go to post office, bank, make dinner and then at 6 pm two grandchildren are coming over for the evening (5 and 6).  Did I meantion I was up most of the night throwing up and not sleeping?  I need a wife!!  I think this is one of the hardest things for the wife with ESRD----the household still needs to run smoothly.   Really all I want to do in crawl back into bed and pull the covers over my head.  But, instead, I will start by sanding drywall.  We tore a wall down and now are finishing the transition between the two rooms.    And, I miss Susie  :'(        Again, thanks for being there when I need you :cuddle;
Title: Re: Dark clouds
Post by: kitkatz on March 13, 2008, 10:08:52 PM
Did I miss the GeeJuss joke?  I want an explanation please.   

Paris things are going to get better.  I got through times where the clouds get up on top of me and I feel sad and depressed.  But you know there are people out here who care and you reach out a hand to be lifted up!
 :big hug: :bunny:
Title: Re: Dark clouds
Post by: okarol on March 14, 2008, 10:54:29 AM
At Susie's rosary there was a woman leading the Hail Mary's. She would say, Hail Mary full of grace, blessed art thou amoungst women and blessed is the fruit of the womb, JEEESUZZZZ!!!
I don't mean to be disrespectful to Catholics, it was just this woman's midwest accent and her monotone delivery until the end, when she gave it her all, that made it so humorous. Plus she went through about 20 Hail Mary's, so we were anticipating her delivery while stifling giggles. Susie would have laughed her ass off!
 :rofl;
Title: Re: Dark clouds
Post by: paris on March 14, 2008, 01:26:03 PM
It was probably good there was some comic relief!  One minute we are crying, holding on to each other and then we had to hold back the giggles.  Susie would have been right there beside us :rofl; :rofl;    When the Rosary was over, Vandie, Okarol and I were in the parking lot--we looked at each other and broke out laughing.  Much better to say goodbye with laughter than tears.      It really was a beautiful, spirit filled service.   
Title: Re: Dark clouds
Post by: MyssAnne on March 14, 2008, 02:10:07 PM
I can relate to that, yes, Susie would have been laughing too!!!   You ladies did well, holding it in for so long!! :bow; :bow; :bow;
Title: Re: Dark clouds
Post by: Ohio Buckeye on March 14, 2008, 05:47:18 PM
Thinking about dark clouds reminds me of my grandson.
One day we were looking outside and I was pointing out to him the clouds
in the sky and that it was a cloudy day.  He looked and turned back to me and
said "It is a nice day Grandma".  I thought it interesting I saw the clouds and he saw
a nice day.  One can learn a lot from children.

Title: Re: Dark clouds
Post by: paris on March 14, 2008, 07:35:50 PM
You are right OB.  Children always make us look at the world in a better light.  We took two of our granddaughters  (Eliza and Emma) to the beach one day.  As we were walking on the beach Eliza said "Look Nana, the waves are fantastic".  The ocean was the calmest I have ever seen it, but to a 5 year old, the waves were perfect. 

My dark clouds have parted and the sun is beaming down on me again. It never lasts long, and if I get very busy it helps.  So my kitchen and dining room are newly painted!  And tomorrow is my husbands birthday and Sunday is our grandsons (AJ) birthday , his fourth.  We are having a party tomorrow for both of them.  I have already made stromboli, meatballs, have lots of fruits, veggies, Beth is making quiche, and others are bringing food too.  Looking forward to a fun day.   Thanks everyone, for lending support when I needed it.  You are all the best :big hug: