I Hate Dialysis Message Board
Dialysis Discussion => Dialysis: General Discussion => Topic started by: RichnStacy on June 02, 2006, 08:38:12 AM
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As you all know from my introduction, I have not been a very active individual, even before my kidney disease slapped me in my face, but I did maintain a certain amount of a social life and had friends; however, I have noticed that, over the past year, after having been diagnosed with ESRD, my friends have slowly started to disappear. Has this happened to any of you and, if so, what do you think the reasoning behind it is? Do they think you will ask them to donate a kidney, are they afraid you don't feel up to company anymore, or is there something else that could be driving them away?
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The same thing happened to my husband. His friends hardly ever come by or invite him anywhere anymore. I think in his case it's what you said about them thinking he's not up to it anymore. Many days that is true, but I am sure that if they stopped by he wouldn't turn them away. On his non-dialysis days and when the kids are in school, unless he has a doctor's appointment he is just sitting there vegging out in front of the TV alone while I am at work. I have heard him on the phone with his friends telling them when a good time to come by is, but they don't usually show up. It's really pretty sad...
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I'm just not that fun anymore. Plus, I have one friend who lost her husband to cancer and I can tell she is pulling away from me because I could die and so she is keeping her distance. :-[
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I still work so I have friends there. I also have my usual friends who have stuck with me through thick and thin.
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I still work too , plus the guys at the fire hall have been real good. I still try to smile every day and thank God for my blessings, although sometimes not easy. Most of my old friends still around and have made some new ones.
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Friends!?....I remember friends :-\
Because I was so 'stuffed' when I was on P.D., my wife would knock back many invitiations, as she knew I wasn't up to it.
But she was still doing this when I went to Haemo...and gradually started feeling better & better. I said "Hey! - stop doing that!",
but the invitations were becoming fewer by then anyway, as people sorta gave up on us, I guess :(
_She_ gets invites to girls-only things tho! Been to a few football (rugby) games with even! They are all off to an international
game in a couple of weeks ($200 tickets!). I shall be @ home, watching it on cable (she did offer to get me a ticket, in all fairness ;D)
Anyway, we do have a few good friends we go to dinner with or have over, so I guess it's not too bad. Actually my wife moans
more than I do, when we have a 'dead' weekend ::)
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As you all know from my introduction, I have not been a very active individual, even before my kidney disease slapped me in my face, but I did maintain a certain amount of a social life and had friends; however, I have noticed that, over the past year, after having been diagnosed with ESRD, my friends have slowly started to disappear. Has this happened to any of you and, if so, what do you think the reasoning behind it is? Do they think you will ask them to donate a kidney, are they afraid you don't feel up to company anymore, or is there something else that could be driving them away?
Same here,
it has to do more with real-life....everyone has their share of problems so we all take our destiny of adversity. On the other hand, you can always try to find them and pay a visit tot them. Sometimes you'll never find them again as they moved onto new locations, but the nicest thing about friends is that we all have them at some point in life and we never forget the good times we had with them.
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I find I knock back some invites too because I'm just too tired to socialise. Plus I don't like sitting in a group of drunk people when I'm sober :D
I have met some lovely people in the past year. We try to catch up regularly for lunch or whatever. I make myself do it, otherwise I'll just shut everyone out.
I am going out alot more now though, which is good. I used to send my other half off to things on his own, and I know he felt bad about it, but I made him go. I don't want my illness to stop him from socialising.
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Heph has to turn down a lot of invites to go places and also ask people not to come over so much. He always gets me to do it though, so a few of his friends now think I'm really controlling and mean >:D because i'm always telling them he's too tired or he doesn't want to see anyone. Most of them have gotten bored of asking now though and don't even bother! Others got moron disease when Heph was diagnosed, and quit treating him like a real person.
I lost friends too, because for nine months, Heph was just so sick, when he wasn't in hospital, he needed to be cared for at home, so I didn't go anywhere either and my friends got tired of me turning them down all the time and so don't bother asking anymore.
Luckily, we have a few really good friends who are with us through thick and thin, who haven't been scared off and who still treat Heph as a normal human being. :D