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Off-Topic => Off-Topic: Talk about anything you want. => Topic started by: kitkatz on November 24, 2007, 08:00:53 PM

Title: Cremation vs. burial
Post by: kitkatz on November 24, 2007, 08:00:53 PM
My husband and I were talking about cremation vs burial.  I want to be burned and either made into a diamond or put in a pretty box.  His religion says burial.  I say let this body go, it has been put through the mill already. Torch it and let it go.  I can tell my spirit what will happen to the body so it does not hang around here to watch it disintegrate.  Besides, this body I do NOT want back!

What do you all think?
Title: Re: Cremation vs. burial
Post by: Chris on November 24, 2007, 08:07:11 PM
Never gave it much thought, but  I always think of the scene in one of the early James Bond films where the cremation process is started while he is still alive. Put a fork in me and call me dead before I am cooked! Even though I might be dead, I still have a fear about cremation. Nowdays, you can be cremated and your butt be shot into space. Great, become a road hazzard for the aging space Pinto shuttle.
Title: Re: Cremation vs. burial
Post by: Sluff on November 24, 2007, 08:10:43 PM
I struggle greatly with this also. I have thought to get cremated so my son can spread my ashes from my motorcycle on the highway near Crazy Horse in the black hills. Although this sounds cool, I do already have a hole in the ground side by side with the wife that we recieved as a wedding gift. I'm not sure my religious beliefs will matter but it is something I should probably investigate.
Title: Re: Cremation vs. burial
Post by: angela515 on November 24, 2007, 09:17:29 PM
I don't really care either way as long as I am by my mom and dad, and my kids are by me. As for my mom... she says she will come back and haunt anyone who cremates her, so I think we will be burying her.
Title: Re: Cremation vs. burial
Post by: okarol on November 25, 2007, 12:53:28 AM
Make me into cat food, I really don't care. I think your spirit endures when the body is done, so I don't need it anymore when I die.  :beer1;
Title: Re: Cremation vs. burial
Post by: Duane on November 25, 2007, 01:52:43 AM
My faith says i get a new body. In my faith we are told our bodies go back to where they originated from, the dust of the earth, like every living being on this earth. cremated or buried it doesn't matter to me, i won't be there (my spirit) goes to be with God. Judgement time.  :bandance;

Absent from the body is to be present with God. In my faith. This is a good thing.
duane
Title: Re: Cremation vs. burial
Post by: orphans_mom on November 25, 2007, 07:18:31 AM
Do you know in some states you can't be cremated unless you have a written directive to do so.  I was told this when my Mother passed away by the funeral director. (Or was this just a ploy to charge more dollars?) Has anyone heard of this? I am catholic and we can now be cremated. I want to be cremated but my husband has not decided yet. I just figure its easier to be cremated for my family since I live about 600 miles from where I will be buried. I have a brother who wants me to spread his ashes at Camp 50 in Sturgis during bike week.
Title: Re: Cremation vs. burial
Post by: thegrammalady on November 25, 2007, 07:29:21 AM
funerals are for the living. i just don't want my kids to argue over all of it. a disgusting amount can be spent, like $10,000 for a casket!!!!!! whatever my kids do i want it to be done the cheapest way possible, then use the remaining money for something useful like maybe college educations for my grandkids. other than that i haven't given it any thought.
Title: Re: Cremation vs. burial
Post by: boxman55 on November 25, 2007, 08:32:55 AM
I want to be cremated and spread over my favorite lake up north. I now I will improve the fishing for everyone...Boxman
Title: Re: Cremation vs. burial
Post by: vandie on November 25, 2007, 09:44:04 AM
I will be cremated.  I never want my children to go through what I went through when my parents passed away.  The funeral homes prey on that emotional time and charge ridiculous amounts of money.  My mother was cremated and they wanted me to purchase a $7000 casket in which to cremate her.  Puhleeze.
I want my children to celebrate my life because it is fabulous.  I want them to sing and dance and have some of my favorite wine.

 :beer1;
Title: Re: Cremation vs. burial
Post by: paris on November 25, 2007, 10:35:41 AM
Cremation for me.  My husband's family spent way too much money on their mother's funeral 3 years ago. They had to have the finest casket, enough flowers to start a floral shop and a catered dinner afterward. Custom made programs and thank you notes were a must.  Funeral service lastest over 2 hours, and then the burial wasn't for two more days and it was another grand event.  I loved the lady, but she was 86 when she died, had only been ill for only few months and was never in pain.   She had a good life and was loved by many.

I don't want anyone looking at my body, saying how good I look.  I will look dead--I don't look good now, why would I look good dead?  Have a fun gathering with lots of music and food.  If someone says I am a was a good mother--then that is all the eulogy I need. Cremate me and throw me in the ocean.  If I can't own beachfront property, I might as well just end up in the ocean :rofl;
Title: Re: Cremation vs. burial
Post by: AlohaBeth on November 25, 2007, 10:43:10 AM
Cremate me.  I have always known I wanted to be cremated and my ashes scattered all over the place - Raleigh, NYC, Hawaii, Vegas, Paris, London, the ocean -- all the places I love...  or just throw me away...  really, I don't care. 

Working at a florist - I see families spend 2 or 3 thousand dollars on flowers.  FLOWERS.  I mean what is the purpose - the amount people spend on funerals is really obscene.

Anyways -- I just finished this book called Annie Freeman's Fabulous Traveling Funeral -- really really great, all about a woman who dies, is cremated and requests her four best friends to scatter her ashes all over the country -- definitely a good (and sad) read.
Title: Re: Cremation vs. burial
Post by: Jannie on November 25, 2007, 11:37:40 AM
When MIL died, one of her daughters of took photos of her in the coffin at the wake. She sent the photos to relatives who live out of town and couldn't come for the funeral. I thought it was disgusting. I'm having a closed coffin and cremation. I want to be remembered for the way I looked alive, not dead, thank you.
Title: Re: Cremation vs. burial
Post by: Romona on November 25, 2007, 12:10:24 PM
I remember a line in the first Walton's movie. Patricia O'Neill's character said "Remember me with smiles and laughter or don't remember me at all.  I want to be remembered that way. I want a happy send off. Bury me, cremate me, use my body for research it really doesn't matter to me.I want Queensryche's "Silent Lucidity" played at my funeral.  I know this sounds crazy, but the funeral I actually enjoyed was my Great Aunt's. She was a nun and it was such a joyous event. The music was happy and uplifting. She had finally gotten what she prepared for, her life with God.  :)
Title: Re: Cremation vs. burial
Post by: kellyt on November 25, 2007, 01:08:31 PM
I want cremation!  Can't risk this body being recycled and making someone else totally miserable! lol

Also, I've told my hubby 100 times - If you do bury me and I'm in the sun I'll haunt you for the rest of your life!

When I go to the cometary to visit my Mom and Dad I see the grave sites that are directly in the sun (no shade at all) and I just think "They must be miserable"!   ;)

I guess you have to live in Texas to understand my thoughts on this.....
Title: Re: Cremation vs. burial
Post by: paris on November 25, 2007, 05:02:07 PM
I already posted, but, I have been to one funeral that was actually fun.  Uncle Bob was dressed in his favorite golf shirt, knickers and had a putter in his hands.  His wife sang their favorite song and at the end, they played "When the Saints Go Marching In" and the family literally danced down the aisle. We were all clapping and laughing.  Uncle Bob would have loved it. 
Title: Re: Cremation vs. burial
Post by: Patton on November 25, 2007, 05:10:40 PM
I want to be buried in our National Cemetery, Arlington National Cemetery, along with so many other recognized American soldiers, who fought for our country. If I knew for sure this were to happen I could live my life so happy. The thought of my name on one of those white crosses next to fellow comrades, makes me feel so happy. I live my days as patriotic as patriotic can get, and to know I will be recognized for this, and to spend eternal death patriotic.....I tell ya I don't even have words for how that would make me feel.     8)  :usaflag;
Title: Re: Cremation vs. burial
Post by: goofynina on November 25, 2007, 05:24:44 PM
I am all for cremation here  :2thumbsup;  I want to be spread all over my bed so no other woman sleeps in it  >:D Muaahaaahaahaaaa  :urcrazy;
Title: Re: Cremation vs. burial
Post by: Deanne on November 26, 2007, 12:55:38 PM
I won't be around to watch, so I really don't care what happens to my body. Funerals are for the living, so they can do whatever they want with my remains (within reason -- nothing "weird" now, ok!?)
Title: Re: Cremation vs. burial
Post by: paddbear0000 on November 26, 2007, 01:41:19 PM
Bake me baby! Whatever is cheapest for my husband. I don't care!   ;D
Title: Re: Cremation vs. burial
Post by: Hawkeye on November 27, 2007, 07:21:00 AM
Both my wife and I want to be cremated, but the one things that bothers me about this is the verification of the ashes.  There have been numerous articles written about people being given ashes and later the body is found in a body freezer untouched.  Who or what's ashes did those people get?  As sick/morbid as it may seem I want to watch the process just to provide that piece of mind that I am infact getting my wifes ashes.  Not sure of the legality on that one, but we are trying to find out more info.
Title: Re: Cremation vs. burial
Post by: Aldente on November 27, 2007, 08:44:05 AM
Both my wife and I want to be cremated, but the one things that bothers me about this is the verification of the ashes.  There have been numerous articles written about people being given ashes and later the body is found in a body freezer untouched.  Who or what's ashes did those people get?  As sick/morbid as it may seem I want to watch the process just to provide that piece of mind that I am infact getting my wifes ashes.  Not sure of the legality on that one, but we are trying to find out more info.

Hawkeye, I appreciate your your very valid concern.  I know of no laws that would prohibit your request to watch the process but restrictions can change from state to state.  I think that pre-planning funeral arrangements is the best route to go to make sure you get what you want.  If your community has more than one funeral provider you can comparison shop and ask questions.  In some smaller communities funeral providers may not have the equipment to do cremations locally and must send the remains to another location. It is much easier to deal with these issues before the death of a loved one than after and you have much more time to make informed decisions.  Make sure that all of your wishes are in writing and that you specify that you want to monitor the cremation process. I would also give copies of the contract or agreement to other family members who might share in the responsibility of making arrangements.
Title: Re: Cremation vs. burial
Post by: JBLadyB on November 27, 2007, 10:21:50 AM
For me, it is going to be burial, beside my two sons, and someday my husband.  I have already picked out what I am going to wear, sweatshirt with bears on it, sweatpants to match, Black fuzzy slipper, and a yellow turtleneck, I am going to be warm! :2thumbsup; The casket will be wood, and one song I want played "Amazing Grace".  Oh, and family only, close family. From there on I don't care.  When my son died, he wore his favorite baseball cap, Harley sweatshirt, and they took him from the funeral home with Motley Crue's "Home Sweet Home".  Here, you can have it anyway you want it.   \\\
"The most dangerous person is the one not afraid to die.'
Title: Re: Cremation vs. burial
Post by: kitkatz on November 27, 2007, 03:39:20 PM
I want to be cremated, then my ashes sent to lifegem.com to be made into a diamond. I want to diamond put into a pretty box and then put on a fireplace or somewhere in a loved ones home.  That way I can sparkle up their lives!
Title: Re: Cremation vs. burial
Post by: skyedogrocks on November 28, 2007, 06:46:30 AM
I want to be cremated.  I hate bugs and the thought of being in the ground and having my body rot in there grosses me out.  I told Rob that I want him to put some of my ashes in a tube and keep it on his key chain so that I am always with him,  :rofl;.  Seriously though, both of us want to be cremated.

I'm Italian and have seen my share of morbid, over the top funerals.  I don't want any part of that!
Title: Re: Cremation vs. burial
Post by: KR Cincy on November 28, 2007, 08:50:05 AM
I want to be cremated, my ashes in a nice beer stein next to the keg at my wake. Friends may toast me <clank> as they recollect what a swell guy I was  :beer1;

Damn...I hate missing good parties...<sigh>
Title: Re: Cremation vs. burial
Post by: paddbear0000 on November 28, 2007, 08:58:43 AM
I want to be cremated, my ashes in a nice beer stein next to the keg at my wake. Friends may toast me <clank> as they recollect what a swell guy I was  :beer1;

Damn...I hate missing good parties...<sigh>

 :rofl; :rofl;   :beer1;
Title: Re: Cremation vs. burial
Post by: msawyersw on November 28, 2007, 01:40:06 PM
Seriously, whatever your wishes, please make them known.  Let your family know what measures you want taken while alive (Advance Directives) and give them some (serious) suggestions for your memorial and burial.

I am writing as a social worker who has watched families struggle over what to do when a loved one (or not so loved one) is critically ill and fight over who is 'in charge' of making decisions. People have come from 'out of the woodwork' country to exert their authority in the hospital.  Sometimes, they have had no contact in years with the critically ill person.  Sometimes, we health professionals did not know these family members even existed.  Sometimes we find out that the person who was by the patient's side throughout the illness, and who was identified as a spouse or child, has no legal authority to make decisions.  Sometimes families quarrel to the extent that psychiatrists (to determine competency) and judges (to determine authority) become involved.   

I also have had personal experiences that altered my thinking and caused me to write my own Advance Directive and memorial wishes.
 
1)A relative's life saving surgery was held up by a question of who had legal authority for consent. (The surgical team stayed, although consent was delayed 4 hours, for which we are still grateful.)   

2) Another relative  died without any burial or memorial arrangements in place.  He said he did not care what was done beyond cremation. When he died, all of his children had exhausted work and FMLA leaves assisting in his care, and all lived out of state.  We put burial and memorial arrangements together quickly and gave him the best service we could provide, but with a minister who had never met him, and with costs we had not considered.

None of us wants to think about their own death.  However, as my father taught me, the mortality of the human race is 100%.   Writing Advance Directives and making burial and memorial arrangements (even providing suggestions) won't hasten our death. It does make it easier on those we leave behind. 


Best wishes,

Marcia Sawyer
Renal Social Worker
Title: Re: Cremation vs. burial
Post by: kellyt on November 29, 2007, 05:12:47 PM
Marcia, it's great to have you here!  I hope you check in regularly to share your knowledge!  I know I have questions...

 :thx;
Title: Re: Cremation vs. burial
Post by: st789 on December 03, 2007, 01:09:17 PM
Cremation.  Ass goes to a clean and warm river surround by forest.

Simplicity

No need to follow up afterward.
Title: Re: Cremation vs. burial
Post by: goofynina on December 03, 2007, 01:42:35 PM
Cremation.  Ass goes to a clean and warm river surround by forest.Simplicity

No need to follow up afterward.

But where will the rest of you go??   :rofl;  sorry, i couldnt resist  :urcrazy;
Title: Re: Cremation vs. burial
Post by: st789 on December 03, 2007, 01:59:24 PM
Wait a min.  I believe I have more body parts than just an Ash! :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;

U got me there Goofynina!  A moment of careless, a big laugh for everyone.

Happy Holidays!
Title: Re: Cremation vs. burial
Post by: Stacy Without An E on December 03, 2007, 02:19:39 PM
I've always wanted to be cremated.  I wish my ashes to be taken to the top of the North Tower of the Golden Gate Bridge and released. 

I imagine my genetic material will be ingested into the digestive system of some poor fish and then he'll need Dialysis.

Or into the system of some shark who will suddenly reach mainland and start his own radio show.

Or even into the belly of an octopus who will race to the nearest TV and endlessly watch Star Trek.

The possibilities are endless.
Title: Re: Cremation vs. burial
Post by: Jannie on December 18, 2007, 06:15:37 PM
My Aunt Betty always wore sweaters,even in the summer, she was always chilly. She told her kids not to put her in the cold ground, she wanted to be cremated.
Title: Re: Cremation vs. burial
Post by: Falkenbach on December 19, 2007, 02:12:40 AM
Cremation for me. Not to disrespect anybody by pointing this out, but I am an atheist so there's no belief against this process for me or my family.

My death will be followed by this procedure:

1. Organs to be donated.
2. Cremation (put me in a cardboard coffin thanks, no need to waste money).
Title: Re: Cremation vs. burial
Post by: KR Cincy on December 19, 2007, 11:14:47 AM
My Aunt Betty always wore sweaters,even in the summer, she was always chilly. She told her kids not to put her in the cold ground, she wanted to be cremated.

I've seen a few Christmas sweaters this week that should be creamated...yeesh...more isn't always better!!!
Title: Re: Cremation vs. burial
Post by: oswald on December 19, 2007, 11:49:29 AM
Cremation for me. Not to disrespect anybody by pointing this out, but I am an atheist so there's no belief against this process for me or my family.


not to disrespect you, but do you not follow any of the christian holidays such as christmas and easter?  i ask this because your avatar, with your pooch in it, looks like a christmas card.  just curious.  again, not to disrespect you please.   :)


EDITED: Fixed quote tag - okarol/moderator
Title: Re: Cremation vs. burial
Post by: oswald on December 19, 2007, 11:50:32 AM
sorry i don't know how to do quotes
Title: Re: Cremation vs. burial
Post by: okarol on December 21, 2007, 12:19:33 AM
sorry i don't know how to do quotes

To Quote, click the quote button, then just be sure that you begin typing AFTER the little tag that says [/quote.]
Title: Re: Cremation vs. burial
Post by: Falkenbach on December 30, 2007, 05:19:25 AM
Cremation for me. Not to disrespect anybody by pointing this out, but I am an atheist so there's no belief against this process for me or my family.


not to disrespect you, but do you not follow any of the christian holidays such as christmas and easter?  i ask this because your avatar, with your pooch in it, looks like a christmas card.  just curious.  again, not to disrespect you please.   :)


EDITED: Fixed quote tag - okarol/moderator

We celebrate the season, yes, with family get togethers and gift giving - probably for the sole reason of tradition. We do not have any religious element to our holiday celebrations, in our view. And thanks for the reminder, btw, it really is time to update that avatar now! :)
Title: Re: Cremation vs. burial
Post by: Mimi on January 10, 2008, 04:26:15 PM
For me, it is going to be burial, beside my two sons, and someday my husband.  I have already picked out what I am going to wear, sweatshirt with bears on it, sweatpants to match, Black fuzzy slipper, and a yellow turtleneck, I am going to be warm! :2thumbsup; The casket will be wood, and one song I want played "Amazing Grace".  Oh, and family only, close family. From there on I don't care.  When my son died, he wore his favorite baseball cap, Harley sweatshirt, and they took him from the funeral home with Motley Crue's "Home Sweet Home".  Here, you can have it anyway you want it.   \\\
"The most dangerous person is the one not afraid to die.'
JBLadyB, you can forget about the black fuzzy slippers, they don't put shoes on corpses.
 ;D
Mimi
Title: Re: Cremation vs. burial
Post by: okarol on January 11, 2008, 06:45:36 PM
My Aunt Betty always wore sweaters,even in the summer, she was always chilly. She told her kids not to put her in the cold ground, she wanted to be cremated.

I've seen a few Christmas sweaters this week that should be creamated...yeesh...more isn't always better!!!

 :rofl;
Title: Re: Cremation vs. burial
Post by: Bajanne on January 12, 2008, 06:00:54 PM
This is something I need to think about.  My daughter and I were discussing death yesterday.  she was begging me to stay alive for another 20 years.  she said she would cremate my body.  I said I didn't want that, but I didn't have any good reason.  I really appreciated our resident social worker's advice.  I need to get my directives organized.
Title: Re: Cremation vs. burial
Post by: petey on January 12, 2008, 06:36:34 PM
I don't care either way.  I do have some MUST DO's for my "leaving" though.  I want to donate everything I possibly can --except, no body donation for medical research (see my next sentence for my views on people looking at me dead).  If it's a burial, NO open casket -- I don't want people looking at my dead body.  I have made a list of the people who can view my body (and it's not a long list).  I want my wedding rings on.  Short service.  Lots of music.  Happy and not sad.  If I'm cremated, I'd like for the ashes to be thrown into the ocean  - no service.  My husband wants to be buried.