I Hate Dialysis Message Board

Dialysis Discussion => Dialysis: General Discussion => Topic started by: Ken Shelmerdine on August 24, 2007, 01:11:49 PM

Title: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on August 24, 2007, 01:11:49 PM
Dear All from the USA, Canada and Oz on IHD.

Please don't be offended by this cause I love ya'all :grouphug; but Iv'e noticed recently that there's only me and Kickstart from the UK who post regularly anymore.

I know there are a few more who no longer post but there must be other UK people who watch the site but have never introduced themselves. I say to those people, please introduce yourselves lets hear from you. We all have dialysis in common no matter what our nationality happens to be.

 It would also be nice for me for example to discuss things  off topic which concerns whats happening in Britain paticularly English Soccer. Whenever I post about a British topic other than dialysis I don't get much of a response (except from you Goofinina, God bless you you're a Gem) and I don't expect one just as I am unable to respond to American football and baseball because I know very little about those sports. So come on all you Brits on Dialysis take the plunge, we don't bite, you'll be most welcome. I'd like it even better if any of you are Manchester United supporters...boooo........ hissssssss then we can have a right 'ole ding dong.  :ukflag;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: muddled on August 24, 2007, 01:31:02 PM
Another brit here :) i read daily but dont post  ;)
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: LightLizard on August 24, 2007, 01:58:00 PM
here's a site that is based in Great Britain and has many Brits, as well as other nationalities. nice folk, too.
http://www.kidneypatientguide.org.uk/newBB/index.php

love

~LL~
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: goofynina on August 24, 2007, 02:03:00 PM
Another brit here :) i read daily but dont post  ;)

 :clap;  Good for you Muddled, thank you for stepping up  :2thumbsup;  I hope to see more posts from you, would love to get to know more about you  :popcorn;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on August 24, 2007, 03:06:59 PM
Another brit here :) i read daily but dont post  ;)

 :thumbup; C'mon Muddled talk to us. Do you like football by any chance?
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on August 24, 2007, 03:11:56 PM
here's a site that is based in Great Britain and has many Brits, as well as other nationalities. nice folk, too.
http://www.kidneypatientguide.org.uk/newBB/index.php

love

~LL~

 :thumbup; Thanks Lightlizard I'll try that.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: KICKSTART on August 25, 2007, 05:56:34 AM
City ..City..City   :rofl;  Sorry just joking i HATE  footy !
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: stauffenberg on August 25, 2007, 08:52:19 AM
I have spent about one fourth of my life living in the U.S., one fourth in Canada, one fourth in Germany, and one fourth in Britain, so I am not sure what nationality I am.  Perhaps you could grant my the title of honorary Brit, although I carry an American passport just because customs officials at the U.S. border are the most fascist in the world and it helps if you at least have their passport.  I was living in Britain when I started dialysis, and of the four countries in which I have experience of dialysis, I can say that it was by far the worst in Britain.

I was at the Hammersmith Hospital dialysis center, where we had one television bolted to the ceiling for 20 dialysis stations, and although the sound was constantly blaring, no one was watching it, because it was impossible to change the channel.  The staff made us wait from 20 to 40 minutes in the waiting room before calling us in for treatment.  The machines were so old that I was always severely nauseated after each dialysis session, which never happened in any other country because of the more sophisticated machines used.  Also, while in North America dialysis is scheduled around the clock for the convenience of patients who work, at the Hammersmith the last dialysis was scheduled to begin within normal working hours, destroying the capacity of the patients for work and rehabilitation just for the conveninece of the staff who did not want to work late.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: muddled on August 25, 2007, 01:03:11 PM
Another brit here :) i read daily but dont post  ;)

 :thumbup; C'mon Muddled talk to us. Do you like football by any chance?

only ever watch the world cup ;D
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on August 26, 2007, 11:08:42 AM
I have spent about one fourth of my life living in the U.S., one fourth in Canada, one fourth in Germany, and one fourth in Britain, so I am not sure what nationality I am.  Perhaps you could grant my the title of honorary Brit, although I carry an American passport just because customs officials at the U.S. border are the most fascist in the world and it helps if you at least have their passport.  I was living in Britain when I started dialysis, and of the four countries in which I have experience of dialysis, I can say that it was by far the worst in Britain.

I was at the Hammersmith Hospital dialysis center, where we had one television bolted to the ceiling for 20 dialysis stations, and although the sound was constantly blaring, no one was watching it, because it was impossible to change the channel.  The staff made us wait from 20 to 40 minutes in the waiting room before calling us in for treatment.  The machines were so old that I was always severely nauseated after each dialysis session, which never happened in any other country because of the more sophisticated machines used.  Also, while in North America dialysis is scheduled around the clock for the convenience of patients who work, at the Hammersmith the last dialysis was scheduled to begin within normal working hours, destroying the capacity of the patients for work and rehabilitation just for the conveninece of the staff who did not want to work late.
Hi Stauffenberg, I've given this much thought and even  consulted the Home Office and I am pleased to announce that form today you are an Honorary Citizen of The United Kindom!

ARISE MR STAUFFENBURG! :clap; ;)

Sorry to hear about your dialysis problems at Hammersmith. How long ago was that because in the last few years most parts of the NHS has improved beyond recognition?

My clinic is at Manchester Royal Infirmary and I do PD so I've no experience of in-center haemo or otherwise but I have met a few people who do and they say the haemo dialysis facilities at the three Manchester Hospitals are excellent. As far as my experience goes, the support and care I've had from pre-dialysis to post has been fantastic. I've never experienced any of the kind of bossy and insensitive nurses that you read about on this site at any  time.

There is also a Patients' Charter now in British Hospitals which has to be upheld at all times. Not everything though is perfect with the NHS and I am aware that  certain hospitals are still below standard in patient care and it sounds like Hammersmith may be one of them.   
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on August 26, 2007, 11:15:17 AM
City ..City..City   :rofl;  Sorry just joking i HATE  footy !

 :(Shame, not everyone loves the Beautiful Game. ;)
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on August 26, 2007, 11:21:30 AM
Another brit here :) i read daily but dont post  ;)

 :thumbup; C'mon Muddled talk to us. Do you like football by any chance?

only ever watch the world cup ;D

Yo Muddled
Well we've got Sven now as manager. The very same Sven who ballsed up the England Team in the last world cup. I'm just hoping and praying that he does a better job with City. He's made I good start I'll give him that.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: stauffenberg on August 26, 2007, 03:39:04 PM
Thanks Ken for the honorary status.  I wonder if I can get an O.B.E. and a 'Sir' in front of my name as well?

I was last on regular dialysis in England in 1997, though I was briefly treated there during a visit in 1998.  I understand that many public services are better now that they have introduced the Patients' Charter.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Bajanne on August 27, 2007, 03:51:53 AM
Ken, does the British Virgin Islands count in your Brit roll call?   Also I was born in Barbados which is said to be 'more British than Britain'.  How's that?
Am I in?
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on August 27, 2007, 04:33:01 AM
Ken, does the British Virgin Islands count in your Brit roll call?   Also I was born in Barbados which is said to be 'more British than Britain'.  How's that?
Am I in?

Yes Bajanne the British Virgin Islands are part of the British Commonwealth so I can say even without checking with the Home Office that YES you're in.

ARISE COUNTESS BAJANNE :yahoo; :yahoo; :yahoo;

I've just read another of your posts saying you don't feel too good. I do hope you soon start to feel better. You've been in the wars just recently with your problems getting a job. It seems so unfair the way they treated you in your last job. Try and be positive. Hope the new title I've bestowed on you cheers you up a bit. ;)
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on August 27, 2007, 09:31:48 AM
Can I have an honorary title?? My kids play soccer and one is a ref.  :2thumbsup;
Isn't that similiar???
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: angela515 on August 27, 2007, 12:27:32 PM
 :lol;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on August 27, 2007, 06:24:39 PM
I have been to London several times----that doesn't count does it?  Near Victoria Station, is a walk up fish and chips place called Flames with the best chips I have ever had--hot chips in a newspaper cone with vinegar---yummy! An afternoon in Covent Garden searching for a bargain or a treasure and then going to a theater that was built 2 or 3 hundred years ago--what a perfect day!  My favorite show we saw about 3 or 4 years ago was "Beautiful Game" an Andrew Lloyd Weber play that never made it to the U.S.  Heart wrenching story!   And I quickly learned to love breakfast-eggs, a type of ham and BAKED BEANS!  It was good and started our days off full of protein!  I am rambling--sorry!       :usaflag; :ukflag; :2thumbsup;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on August 28, 2007, 06:03:27 AM
Thanks Ken for the honorary status.  I wonder if I can get an O.B.E. and a 'Sir' in front of my name as well?

I was last on regular dialysis in England in 1997, though I was briefly treated there during a visit in 1998.  I understand that many public services are better now that they have introduced the Patients' Charter.

Mmmm...... Can't go handing out titles willy nilly you know. Well all right then but I'll have to consult Her Majesty The Queen .................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................After much dicussion with Her Majesty in which I informed her of your honourary British Status and your sterling posts as a member of IHD I can now bestow on you a Knighthood of the realm. So.........

ARISE SIR STAUFFENBURG OF HAMMERSMITH! :yahoo; :yahoo; :yahoo;

May I remind you that as a Knight of the Realm you must from this day behave with the utmost dignity and a stiff upper lip as befits a man of your status. :ukflag;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on August 28, 2007, 07:46:48 AM
Can I have an honorary title?? My kids play soccer and one is a ref.  :2thumbsup;
Isn't that similiar???

Hi Romona
Ask your kids to explain to you the soccer off-side rule. There's a joke in the UK and I know it's a bit sexist but it says that women can't understand the off-side rule. If you understand it when your kids explain it to you then I'll bestow a title on you. You'll be unique!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on August 28, 2007, 07:56:46 AM
I have been to London several times----that doesn't count does it?  Near Victoria Station, is a walk up fish and chips place called Flames with the best chips I have ever had--hot chips in a newspaper cone with vinegar---yummy! An afternoon in Covent Garden searching for a bargain or a treasure and then going to a theater that was built 2 or 3 hundred years ago--what a perfect day!  My favorite show we saw about 3 or 4 years ago was "Beautiful Game" an Andrew Lloyd Weber play that never made it to the U.S.  Heart wrenching story!   And I quickly learned to love breakfast-eggs, a type of ham and BAKED BEANS!  It was good and started our days off full of protein!  I am rambling--sorry!       :usaflag; :ukflag; :2thumbsup;


Oh....alright then.

ARISE DAME PARIS OF NEAR VICTORIA STATION! :yahoo; :yahoo;

The type of ham you mentioned is probably British bacon. It's leaner than I've had in the US and other countries and it looks like small slices of ham which in fact I suppose it is. Glad you liked our fish and chips. The best fish from fish and chip shops can be found in the north of England. They bone the fish perfectly whereas in the south you tend to get bones in them. Never seen the play you mentioned but I will if it comes to Manchester.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on August 28, 2007, 02:22:42 PM
Ken, you are so much fun!  I was destined for royalty---I dated a guy named "King" and then married a "Barron" and my name is Elizabeth --- so why am I living a commoners life?    "Beautiful Game" was, of course about soccer.   You have a wonderful country and I hope to come back one day.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: goofynina on August 28, 2007, 02:27:36 PM
*ahem* Ken?  ::)  I eat English Muffins, can i have a royal title tooooo?  :bow;  ::)
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on August 28, 2007, 02:48:35 PM
If Goofynina gets an English title I want one, too. :lol;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: goofynina on August 28, 2007, 02:53:47 PM
Does a "Royal Pain" count  :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on August 28, 2007, 02:55:08 PM
*ahem* Ken?  ::)  I eat English Muffins, can i have a royal title tooooo?  :bow;  ::)

Oh Jesus! WTF!  Everyone wants one! You'll all be wanting to become landed gentry of half of Cornwall next! ???
Well.......Ahem......... ..............................................................................................................................

I KEN SHELMERDINE, FELLOW OF THE BRITISH INSTITUTION OF THE CRIMINALLY INSANE HEREBY BESTOW ON ALL ON IHD,THEIR SPOUSES AND LOVED ONES HONOURY BRITISH CITIZENSHIP  KNIGHTHOODS OBE'S AND MBE'S.

Since I'm being so kind and generous, may I become an Honourary American, Canadian and Ossie citizen.
Don't tell your customs officials though they'll have me arrested as an ilegal alien. ;) 
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on August 28, 2007, 02:57:42 PM
Ken, have you told the queen that you are handing out royal titles?  You know we Americans love royalty!!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on August 28, 2007, 02:58:41 PM
Ken, you are so much fun!  I was destined for royalty---I dated a guy named "King" and then married a "Barron" and my name is Elizabeth --- so why am I living a commoners life?    "Beautiful Game" was, of course about soccer.   You have a wonderful country and I hope to come back one day.

I knew I had good judgement.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on August 28, 2007, 03:00:42 PM
I hereby make Ken Shelmerdine an honorary American citizen with the privilege to bitch and complain at our politicians when ever you want(just like we do!); the opportunity to eat yourself to obesity in the American way of life; and freedom!

 :usaflag; :usaflag; :usaflag; :usaflag; :usaflag;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: goofynina on August 28, 2007, 03:03:23 PM
*ahem* Ken?  ::)  I eat English Muffins, can i have a royal title tooooo?  :bow;  ::)

Oh Jesus! WTF!  Everyone wants one! You'll all be wanting to become landed gentry of half of Cornwall next! ???
Well.......Ahem......... ..............................................................................................................................

I KEN SHELMERDINE, FELLOW OF THE BRITISH INSTITUTION OF THE CRIMINALLY INSANE HEREBY BESTOW ON ALL ON IHD,THEIR SPOUSES AND LOVED ONES HONOURY BRITISH CITIZENSHIP  KNIGHTHOODS OBE'S AND MBE'S.

Since I'm being so kind and generous, may I become an Honourary American, Canadian and Ossie citizen.
Don't tell your customs officials though they'll have me arrested as an ilegal alien. ;) 

I CAN DO IT, I CAN DO IT,  but we are going to have to Americanize your name too ok,  you are now going to be known as (trumpets blowing)  Kenizzle Shelmerdizzle  O0   ooooh, me likey  :clap;  :bow;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on August 28, 2007, 03:05:19 PM
Ken, have you told the queen that you are handing out royal titles?  You know we Americans love royalty!!

Of course she does. Lizzie (We're on first name terms don't you kneeow) and I often have a good old chinwag about who should receive titles of the realm. In fact she goes on my recomendations. 8)
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: goofynina on August 28, 2007, 03:06:53 PM
Ken, have you told the queen that you are handing out royal titles?  You know we Americans love royalty!!

Of course she does. Lizzie (We're on first name terms don't you kneeow) and I often have a good old chinwag about who should receive titles of the realm. In fact she goes on my recomendations. 8)

That is good to know, then can you tell her to tell her guards to take a chill pill and stop being so snotty, smile once in awhile sheesh, life aint THAT bad  ::)  (or is it)  :P
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on August 28, 2007, 03:07:50 PM
I hereby make Ken Shelmerdine an honorary American citizen with the privilege to bitch and complain at our politicians when ever you want(just like we do!); the opportunity to eat yourself to obesity in the American way of life; and freedom!

 :usaflag; :usaflag; :usaflag; :usaflag; :usaflag;

I already do all this. But Thank-you I am honoured to accept.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on August 28, 2007, 03:09:18 PM
Already know the offsides rule. I was an assistant coach! Can I have my title now? I really would like a castle too. And a tiara.  :bow;
And I drink English Breakfast Tea.
And don't forget Goofy Nina bad cable tv is necessary in these United States.  
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on August 28, 2007, 03:14:22 PM
I'm tired what with all this twoing and froing to Buck Palace.  I'm going to hook up and get to bed. . I just had a thought I'll have to start calling the boot of my car 'the trunk' the bonnet 'the hood' and the windscreen 'the windshield'

Night night everyone.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: goofynina on August 28, 2007, 03:20:24 PM
Good night Ken, thanks for the Royalties ;) ;)
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: LightLizard on August 28, 2007, 03:21:54 PM
and now that yer an honorary american, what do ya call yer gun?
 :oops;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on August 28, 2007, 05:12:54 PM
Ken, thanks for making this a fun day.  I have been laughing more with each new post.   We certainly didn't stay on topic--but we had fun! :clap;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on August 29, 2007, 03:06:37 AM
and now that yer an honorary american, what do ya call yer gun?
 :oops;

PIECE?
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on August 29, 2007, 03:26:42 AM
Already know the offsides rule. I was an assistant coach! Can I have my title now? I really would like a castle too. And a tiara.  :bow;
And I drink English Breakfast Tea.
And don't forget Goofy Nina bad cable tv is necessary in these United States.  

 :oops; Sorry Ramona, I.. er.... just presumed hey I'm well impressed. You can be the next prime minister for that! I'll nominate you at the next general election.

 :clap; Thanks everybody for making this thread so much fun and special thanks to Sir Stauffenburg of Hammersmith cause he started it all. I've never been on IHD late at night UK time. It became like a chat room didn't it? I've never laughed so much in ages. I'm usually posting as I am now when it's ealry morning across the pond. Thanks again everyone you're the best. :bow; :bow; :bow;



EDITED:  Fixed  :clap; icon error - Goofynina/Admin.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: goofynina on August 29, 2007, 11:53:32 AM
Hi Ken,  Just wanted to say, the feelings mutual friend  :grouphug;  We all luv ya  :usaflag; :canadaflag; :ausflag; :ukflag;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on August 29, 2007, 01:23:30 PM
Ken, Please have someone meet me at the airport so I can assume my Prime Minister dutiies. Goofynina, Kitkatz, Paris and anyone else that wants to go, pack your bags. Please bring the valium, I have never flown before. Also please tell the BBC to film me from my left side, that is my better side. Have I forgotten anything?  :bandance;
Also I request Handy Andy and that guy with the long wavy hair from Changing Rooms to re-decorate my residence.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: KICKSTART on August 29, 2007, 01:36:22 PM
Romona the guy with long wavy hair .. i think you mean Lawrence LLewelyn Bowen   ..sorry but he's busy doing my spare room   :rofl;  and im not letting him out !
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on August 29, 2007, 02:38:38 PM
Ken, you really have everyone on a roll!  Just when I think the posting is done--someone else posts and I am laughing again!  Packing my bags and finding valium for Romona!!  First phrase everyone needs to learn is "mind the gap"!    :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on August 30, 2007, 05:16:36 AM
Ken, Please have someone meet me at the airport so I can assume my Prime Minister dutiies. Goofynina, Kitkatz, Paris and anyone else that wants to go, pack your bags. Please bring the valium, I have never flown before. Also please tell the BBC to film me from my left side, that is my better side. Have I forgotten anything?  :bandance;
Also I request Handy Andy and that guy with the long wavy hair from Changing Rooms to re-decorate my residence.

Certainly madam I'll have my man see to it. Of the two limousines would Madam prefer the Rolls or the Bentley? And will Countess Goofynina, Dame Paris of Near Victoria Station and Lady Kitkats be accompanying you?

 Lawrence Llewellin Bowen is is only available for a limited period this afternoon. Unfortunately Madam will not be able to meet him as Madam will be entertaining the President of Mozambique.  ;D




Sorry, accidently hit the "modify" instead of the quote button,  NO ERRORS HERE FOLKS - Goofynina/Admin.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: AlasdairUK on August 30, 2007, 08:15:37 AM
Hi Ken, I have been a little absent lately, just busy at work. I still have the odd post.

Cricket is my main sport, but I do follow football. I support Arsenal because one of my friends growing up was a Spurs fan. It was lots of fun to rag him about being a Spurs fan and me an Arsenal fan.

I'm looking forward to the Rugby World Cup next month and I even have a weekend trip to France to watch a game.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: goofynina on August 30, 2007, 10:10:18 AM
Ken, Please have someone meet me at the airport so I can assume my Prime Minister dutiies. Goofynina, Kitkatz, Paris and anyone else that wants to go, pack your bags. Please bring the valium, I have never flown before. Also please tell the BBC to film me from my left side, that is my better side. Have I forgotten anything?  :bandance;
Also I request Handy Andy and that guy with the long wavy hair from Changing Rooms to re-decorate my residence.

Certainly madam I'll have my man see to it. Of the two limousines would Madam prefer the Rolls or the Bentley? And will Countess Goofynina, Dame Paris of Near Victoria Station and Lady Kitkats be accompanying you?

 Lawrence Llewellin Bowen is is only available for a limited period this afternoon. Unfortunately Madam will not be able to meet him as Madam will be entertaining the President of Mozambique.  ;D




Sorry, accidently hit the "modify" instead of the quote button,  NO ERRORS HERE FOLKS - Goofynina/Admin.



Ohhhhh you better believe it,  I AM SOOOO THERE  :yahoo;  I am also dying to find out what the heck a "crumpet" is?  I have heard that expression forever, "tea and crumpet"  at least that is what i think they say, lol  :popcorn;

COUNTESS GOOFYNINA IS IN DA HIZZOUSE!!!  :bow;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on August 30, 2007, 01:30:39 PM
Ken, I don't know how to do the quote thing.
My entourage will be accompanying me. An oridnary mini van to pick me up is fine (the vehicle of choice for soccer Moms).
Who is going to re-do my home? Kickstart has my decorator tied up.
I guess I'll meet with that guy from Mozambique. But he has to pay for his own dinner. My kids need lunch money this week so funds are tight.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on August 30, 2007, 02:16:26 PM
Ken, Please have someone meet me at the airport so I can assume my Prime Minister dutiies. Goofynina, Kitkatz, Paris and anyone else that wants to go, pack your bags. Please bring the valium, I have never flown before. Also please tell the BBC to film me from my left side, that is my better side. Have I forgotten anything?  :bandance;
Also I request Handy Andy and that guy with the long wavy hair from Changing Rooms to re-decorate my residence.

Certainly madam I'll have my man see to it. Of the two limousines would Madam prefer the Rolls or the Bentley? And will Countess Goofynina, Dame Paris of Near Victoria Station and Lady Kitkats be accompanying you?

 Lawrence Llewellin Bowen is is only available for a limited period this afternoon. Unfortunately Madam will not be able to meet him as Madam will be entertaining the President of Mozambique.  ;D




Sorry, accidently hit the "modify" instead of the quote button,  NO ERRORS HERE FOLKS - Goofynina/Admin.



Ohhhhh you better believe it,  I AM SOOOO THERE  :yahoo;  I am also dying to find out what the heck a "crumpet" is?  I have heard that expression forever, "tea and crumpet"  at least that is what i think they say, lol  :popcorn;

COUNTESS GOOFYNINA IS IN DA HIZZOUSE!!!  :bow;


Countess Susie
Crumpets are kind of flourery doughy things about circular in shape, about 3 inches diameter and about 1/2 an inch thick. You toast them and then butter them and add jam or marmalade. My other half Rita sometimes has them for breakfast. I hate the bloody things! http://www.users.globalnet.co.uk/~jchap/tvcrump.htm

Also it's slang for a pretty girl as in 'Corr there goes a nice bit of crumpet!' ;D
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: goofynina on August 30, 2007, 02:18:51 PM
Thank you Dear Ken for explaining but arent they similar to English Muffins?  Look like them and i eat mine pretty much the same way you described (but then again i do a bagel too) :P   
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on August 30, 2007, 02:24:54 PM
Ken, I don't know how to do the quote thing.
My entourage will be accompanying me. An oridnary mini van to pick me up is fine (the vehicle of choice for soccer Moms).
Who is going to re-do my home? Kickstart has my decorator tied up.
I guess I'll meet with that guy from Mozambique. But he has to pay for his own dinner. My kids need lunch money this week so funds are tight.

Good Lord  ??? We can't have the future Prime Minister collected by a common MINI-VAN! No I won't hear of it. We will just have to commission  the stretch Limo.

Oh by the way here's a picture of your residence Madam. I am afraid it is in need of some renovation but all that will be taken care of after Lawence has finished at Lady Kickstart's house. http://www.castlewales.com/conwy.html
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on August 30, 2007, 02:33:18 PM
Ken, have you thought about going to the Tower of London to get the royal jewels ready? You can't have all the new royalty showing up with no crowns or septors to give them!  Have one of the Beefeaters help you get them.     AlaisdairUK tried to get us somewhat back on topic, but apparently we are enjoying our new status too much!! :rofl;   I would be fine with one of the lovely black taxis to pick me up and would like to go straight to Harrod"s, please.   Thank you so very much!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on August 30, 2007, 02:36:06 PM
Thank you Dear Ken for explaining but arent they similar to English Muffins?  Look like them and i eat mine pretty much the same way you described (but then again i do a bagel too) :P   

Susie English Muffins taste more like bread and have a different texture than than crumpets which have a kind of rubbery springy texture. and just taste different Yuk!!

Signing off till tomorrow, got to do my exit site dressing and get to bed.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on August 30, 2007, 05:07:54 PM
 :beer1;
The castle will have to do. I may be cramped.
Where is the nearest pub?
I didn't see a Wal-Mart anywhere.
I will now be known as "Prime Minister Crumpet".


Seriously the photos are beautiful. You live in a beautiful country. Hope to see it someday.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: thegrammalady on August 30, 2007, 05:21:28 PM
can i just have tea? but don't forget the clotted cream
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on August 30, 2007, 07:58:06 PM
Castles are so drafty and cost a fortune to heat.  Don't you have anything closer in to town?  I hear that sprawling city London is causing quite a stir. You know with the indoor plumbing and all of that.

I would like afternoon high tea served as soon as we arrive at our lodgings.  Thanks. :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on August 31, 2007, 03:12:05 AM
:beer1;
I will now be known as "Prime Minister Crumpet".

 :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on August 31, 2007, 03:23:37 AM
Ken, have you thought about going to the Tower of London to get the royal jewels ready? You can't have all the new royalty showing up with no crowns or septors to give them!  Have one of the Beefeaters help you get them.     AlaisdairUK tried to get us somewhat back on topic, but apparently we are enjoying our new status too much!! :rofl;   I would be fine with one of the lovely black taxis to pick me up and would like to go straight to Harrod"s, please.   Thank you so very much!

WHAAAAAT.!!! WT ROYAL F!!!!! :o Some people are never satisfied! :banghead; I can do the black taxi and Harrods, but seriously do you want to get me arrested banged up in the Tower, tried at the Old Bailey and publicly hanged drawn and quartered in Leicester Square?

However, since it is you Lady Paris and you are very well liked at the court of Kenneth no risk is too great to win the favour of your ladyship therefore I shall have my man commence digging the tunnel at once. :bow;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on August 31, 2007, 05:19:05 AM
Hi Ken, I have been a little absent lately, just busy at work. I still have the odd post.

Cricket is my main sport, but I do follow football. I support Arsenal because one of my friends growing up was a Spurs fan. It was lots of fun to rag him about being a Spurs fan and me an Arsenal fan.

I'm looking forward to the Rugby World Cup next month and I even have a weekend trip to France to watch a game.

Hi Alasdair good to hear from you again. Having a friend who supports 'the enemy' is good fun unless you've aways been on the receiving end as I have being a Man City fan. So now it's nice to saver the moment now that we've made a decent start to the season. I'll enjoy it while it lasts! Arsenal of course ended City's unbeaten run last week.

I don't follow Rugby very much but I do like to watch it whenever it's on TV. A friend of mine watches Sale Sharks and is always saying what a great atmosphere it is at rugby matches. He says that there's no segregation of opposing supporters because there's never any trouble and you can even take alchohol onto the terraces unlike football where you risk your life from yobbo fans. I think this season I might just take him up on his offer and get down to some games. Lets hope we do well in the world cup, enjoy your trip to France.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on August 31, 2007, 05:30:01 AM
Castles are so drafty and cost a fortune to heat.  Don't you have anyhting closer in to town?  I hear that sprawling city London is causing quite a stir. You know with the indoor plumbing and all of that.

I would like afternoon high tea served as soon as we arrive at our lodgings.  Thanks. :rofl;

Lady Kitkatz,
How about this then http://phototravels.net/wales/N0013/wales-conwy-03.html

Actually the castle and the house are in the same area of wales where I have a holiday caravan/mobile home not far from the castle and I'll be spending a week there starting Sunday 2nd. As I'm passing the castle I'll make sure everything is well prepared for Prime Minister Lady Crumpet's Arrival and that tea and crumpets be served immediately if not sooner.

Don't have a laptop so I'll continue this when I get back. Do you think we can squeeze any more out of it or shall we start talking about more serious things? Who know's maybe we can get even sillier. ;D
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on August 31, 2007, 06:39:59 AM
Talk about serious stuff???  Really???   Have a wonderful holiday-we shall miss your posts!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on August 31, 2007, 06:53:39 AM
Talk about serious stuff???  Really???   Have a wonderful holiday-we shall miss your posts!

Did I mention serious stuff! Just kidding. See you all in a weeks time and then we'll continue with the nonesense.

Actually there's nothing to stop it going on while I'm away in fact I am appointing Countess Goofinina as my Princess Regent to the court of Kenneth to act as bestower of titles in my absence. She doesn't know this yet but she will when she reads this. :rofl;  ;D
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on August 31, 2007, 08:38:32 PM
I shall ask Goofynina for the title of Lady Kitkatz while Ken is gone!
High tea will be at three at my house on Saturday, if you can find it and me.  Hehehehe!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on September 01, 2007, 08:26:59 PM
Ask for a castle too. I got one.  :2thumbsup;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: goofynina on September 01, 2007, 08:37:31 PM
I shall ask Goofynina for the title of Lady Kitkatz while Ken is gone!
High tea will be at three at my house on Saturday, if you can find it and me.  Hehehehe!

HEAR YE!! HEAR YE!!  Countess Susie cannot and will not be disturbed for she is sitting on her Royal Throne  :secret; (and her feet fell asleep) lol  :urcrazy;  Please come back again soon  :bow;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Bajanne on September 02, 2007, 06:03:28 AM
I shall ask Goofynina for the title of Lady Kitkatz while Ken is gone!
High tea will be at three at my house on Saturday, if you can find it and me.  Hehehehe!

HEAR YE!! HEAR YE!!  Countess Susie cannot and will not be disturbed for she is sitting on her Royal Throne  :secret; (and her feet fell asleep) lol  :urcrazy;  Please come back again soon  :bow;

You guys are killing me! :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on September 02, 2007, 05:23:14 PM
Princess Susie had better get off her royal duff and get busy giving out titles and tea and crumpets!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on September 04, 2007, 06:25:49 PM
Ken, a lady Beefeater at the Tower of London??   I think it should have been me, but the outfit isn't very flattering.  You go on holiday and look what they did while you were gone! Did they ask you first if this was acceptable?  I will say she looked very pleased with the promotion.  Maybe she can help you get the Crown jewels!  Hope you had a wonderful holiday. You were missed.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: okarol on September 04, 2007, 06:36:40 PM
Ken, a lady Beefeater at the Tower of London??   I think it should have been me, but the outfit isn't very flattering.  You go on holiday and look what they did while you were gone! Did they ask you first if this was acceptable?  I will say she looked very pleased with the promotion.  Maybe she can help you get the Crown jewels!  Hope you had a wonderful holiday. You were missed.

Countess Goofynina will get the jewels alright!    ;D :lol;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: thegrammalady on September 04, 2007, 06:47:21 PM
i don't need a title, i just want tea. tea, scones, clotted cream and raspberry jam.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on September 04, 2007, 06:52:14 PM
I miss Ken. How can he go on a holiday and leave his "ladies in waiting" all alone.  :bandance;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on September 04, 2007, 07:07:10 PM
Karol---not those "royal jewels" !!!!! :rofl; :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: goofynina on September 04, 2007, 08:38:30 PM
Princess Susie had better get off her royal duff and get busy giving out titles and tea and crumpets!

Princess?? Princess?? I beg your pardon, i forth noteth beith a mere princess you pheasant  :oops; you peasant, i believe his royal highness Ken throned me as Countess Susie (and you best be bowing when you read this or else)  :boxing;  :P  :bow;  :bow; :bow;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on September 06, 2007, 03:12:36 PM
Ken, aren't you home yet?   Your royal court is waiting to hear from you!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on September 06, 2007, 08:43:53 PM
Grammalady, All I could find is a carton of expired milk and some stale Oreos. :D
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: angela515 on September 06, 2007, 08:55:03 PM
I don't understand this british stuff but I like the thought of being a princess... so can I be one?  :waving;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: goofynina on September 06, 2007, 08:56:27 PM
Well Angela, we dont have the authority to make you a princess, we are going to have to wait for Ken to come and officially make you one  :2thumbsup;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on September 06, 2007, 09:41:27 PM
Lady Kitkatz, Countess Goofynina and Princess Angela.  Oh my we are getting a royal court here.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Meinuk on September 06, 2007, 09:54:27 PM
OK Ken -

My knickers are from M&S
When I call home, I dial 01144207..
The post code for home starts with SW7
I have Mrs. Balls Chutney in my pantry
I adore Dr. Who and can't wait for this year's x-mas broadcast.
Top Gear cracks me up
I know that faggots are a disgusting food
BUPA is a great to have if you've been used to the NHS
Scottish Widows means money
as far as football...  well, no, I'm not a fan. Especially of the traffic jams on the Kings Road after a Chelsea match.

 :ukflag;

But I live in NYC now....
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on September 07, 2007, 09:22:34 AM
Ken should be coming back soon. Do you think he bought us presents?  :bandance;







EDITED: Fixed smiley error-kitkatz,moderator
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on September 07, 2007, 11:50:08 AM
Hey, don't forget me----Ken made me Lady Paris!!  I must have a very dull life, because this thread is the most fun I have had for a long time! :clap;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: MattyBoy100 on September 08, 2007, 02:24:44 PM
Scottish til I die, Scottish til I die, I'm Scottish til I die!

The Gunners for me though with Liverpool a close second choice.

Don't want your English titles, my family fought with the Faqhuarson Clan to drive the English off our land!

How's it going Ken?

Don't like Scottish football though, it's rubbish and everyone thinks it's great.  I lived in London for 7 years and know what REAL football is!

Good result against Israel today but what's going to happen against Russia on Weds?
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on September 08, 2007, 10:54:59 PM
I don't know what is going to happen in Russia.

But I do know that "The Blue Devils" kicked some serious butt. 7-0.  :boxing;
I'm just a proud soccer mom. They may all be 6 and 7 year olds but it was a fun game.


Sorry Mattyboy. I just wanted to brag.  :clap; :clap;

Ken are you back yet? I think Mattyboy wants to talk guy stuff.  :beer1;
Poor guy has to put up with us.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Redbomb on September 09, 2007, 08:54:29 AM
I LOVE football -- Well, o.k... American Football. College, Pro, Arena, High School, Pee-Wee, Flag -- don't care what it is, just bring on Football!!!! Don't care much for soccer though, Ah, well.

Hmm. soon HOCKEY season will be starting!  All I have to say about that is GO AVS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 09, 2007, 09:32:29 AM
 :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;
Well I really cracked up when I read all the posts that came while I've been away. But Hey a transformation has taken place.

I have morphed into my new alter ego as an honorary all American guy. So it's KENNIZLE SHELMERDIZZLE BACK IN DA HOUSE!!!! ...God damn it .....son of a gun... hot dog diggety doooo!!!!  :usaflag; :usaflag; :usaflag; :usaflag;

Them state troopers or whatever they call em over here keep arresting me for driving on the wrong side of the road..........WTF are crumpets????
 :usaflag; :usaflag; :usaflag; :usaflag; ;D
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 09, 2007, 09:47:20 AM
I shall ask Goofynina for the title of Lady Kitkatz while Ken is gone!
High tea will be at three at my house on Saturday, if you can find it and me.  Hehehehe!

Hey now just wait a cotton pickin' minute! Although goofynina has been my Princess Regent while I was away she must consult me before bestowing a title which she now has done by telepathy so

ARISE DUCHESS KITKATZ EMPRESS OF CHOCOLATE BARS. (In the UK there's a brand of chocolate bar called KIT- KAT)   :2thumbsup; :2thumbsup;

Don't forget the salmon and cucumber sandwiches on Saturday.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 09, 2007, 09:48:59 AM
Ask for a castle too. I got one.  :2thumbsup;

Cheeky ::)
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 09, 2007, 10:06:28 AM
Ken, a lady Beefeater at the Tower of London??   I think it should have been me, but the outfit isn't very flattering.  You go on holiday and look what they did while you were gone! Did they ask you first if this was acceptable?  I will say she looked very pleased with the promotion.  Maybe she can help you get the Crown jewels!  Hope you had a wonderful holiday. You were missed.

Good Lord!! one is astounded. Her Majesty never consulted me on this one. It's quite possibly Mary Queen of Scots re-incarnated who was executed in the tower in 16 something or other by Elizabeth 1st and she's come to get her own back. I think I should tell her it's not the same Elizabeth. 

Yes it should have been you lady Paris but of course we can't have the nobility employed as  common Beefeaters deeon't you kneeow.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 09, 2007, 10:09:19 AM
i don't need a title, i just want tea. tea, scones, clotted cream and raspberry jam.

Coming up!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 09, 2007, 10:11:20 AM
I don't understand this british stuff but I like the thought of being a princess... so can I be one?  :waving;

NO!!
Oh go on then.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Roxy on September 09, 2007, 10:12:04 AM
  :rofl;  :rofl;  :rofl; you all are hilarious
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 09, 2007, 10:26:52 AM
OK Ken -

My knickers are from M&S
I have Mrs. Balls Chutney in my pantry
 :ukflag;


Arise LADY MEINUK OF ST. MICHAEL. (I take it M&S put St Michael labels in your knickers) I'm not being scary I just want to know what's in your knickers. :oops;....no.....er that came out wrong......you know what I mean....er...er... now look here I'm a respectable married man...I wouldn't dream of.....well I never!! How dare you suggest!!!....... Ahemm.....Give Mrs Balls her chutney back at once or m'lady will be STRIPPED...................

.......of her title!!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 09, 2007, 10:41:35 AM
Scottish til I die, Scottish til I die, I'm Scottish til I die!

The Gunners for me though with Liverpool a close second choice.

Don't want your English titles, my family fought with the Faqhuarson Clan to drive the English off our land!

How's it going Ken?

Don't like Scottish football though, it's rubbish and everyone thinks it's great.  I lived in London for 7 years and know what REAL football is!


Good result against Israel today but what's going to happen against Russia on Weds?

Hi Mattyboy
I hope we beat Russia on Wednesday but this is the England team we are talking about so anything could happen.

That wall Hadrian built didn't keep out Gordon Brown!! ;)
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 09, 2007, 10:44:13 AM
I don't know what is going to happen in Russia.

But I do know that "The Blue Devils" kicked some serious butt. 7-0.  :boxing;
I'm just a proud soccer mom. They may all be 6 and 7 year olds but it was a fun game.

Go Go Go THE BLUE DEVILS :2thumbsup; :2thumbsup;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: thegrammalady on September 09, 2007, 11:49:22 AM
I shall ask Goofynina for the title of Lady Kitkatz while Ken is gone!
High tea will be at three at my house on Saturday, if you can find it and me.  Hehehehe!



Don't forget the salmon and cucumber sandwiches on Saturday.


clotted cream and raspberry jam too, pleeeeeeeeease
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on September 09, 2007, 12:29:30 PM
Ken, welcome home! Your royal ladies have missed you terribly!  As you noticed, we tried to continue without you, but we really needed our lord and master to keep us in line. Hope you had a lovely holiday and enjoyed your time away.      Now what was this thread about?  It is now a Ken and his royal court thread :yahoo;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 09, 2007, 01:18:06 PM
Ken, welcome home! Your royal ladies have missed you terribly!  As you noticed, we tried to continue without you, but we really needed our lord and master to keep us in line. Hope you had a lovely holiday and enjoyed your time away.      Now what was this thread about?  It is now a Ken and his royal court thread :yahoo;

Thank you my loyal subjects for your continued support. I must say the Royal Court of Kenneth functioned admirably whilst I was thus indisposed. One marvelled at the hiliarity of the various dispatches although some of you became a little flippant about the very serious subject of title bestowal. However I am now returneth to my spirtual home and all will be well.

Seriously we had a great holiday and for once the British weather was kind to us. Great to be back though, I'm really enjoying this. :2thumbsup;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Meinuk on September 09, 2007, 01:19:24 PM
Thanks for the honours Ken - I have to say that I am an avid fan of Tony Benn. 

No IHD Debrett's for me, I prefer just Anna.   


Welcome back!!!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: goofynina on September 09, 2007, 01:46:48 PM
Ken, welcome home! Your royal ladies have missed you terribly!  As you noticed, we tried to continue without you, but we really needed our lord and master to keep us in line. Hope you had a lovely holiday and enjoyed your time away.      Now what was this thread about?  It is now a Ken and his royal court thread :yahoo;

Thank you my loyal subjects for your continued support. I must say the Royal Court of Kenneth functioned admirably whilst I was thus indisposed. One marvelled at the hiliarity of the various dispatches although some of you became a little flippant about the very serious subject of title bestowal. However I am now returneth to my spirtual home and all will be well.

Seriously we had a great holiday and for once the British weather was kind to us. Great to be back though, I'm really enjoying this. :2thumbsup;

Ahhhhhh, our Royal Highness has returned  :bow; :bow; :bow; :bow;  All is well in the bell tower sir :P  :P  WTF?  :urcrazy;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 09, 2007, 01:56:29 PM
Ken, welcome home! Your royal ladies have missed you terribly!  As you noticed, we tried to continue without you, but we really needed our lord and master to keep us in line. Hope you had a lovely holiday and enjoyed your time away.      Now what was this thread about?  It is now a Ken and his royal court thread :yahoo;

Thank you my loyal subjects for your continued support. I must say the Royal Court of Kenneth functioned admirably whilst I was thus indisposed. One marvelled at the hiliarity of the various dispatches although some of you became a little flippant about the very serious subject of title bestowal. However I am now returneth to my spirtual home and all will be well.

Seriously we had a great holiday and for once the British weather was kind to us. Great to be back though, I'm really enjoying this. :2thumbsup;

Ahhhhhh, our Royal Highness has returned  :bow; :bow; :bow; :bow;  All is well in the bell tower sir :P  :P  WTF?  :urcrazy;

Greetings Duchess. Thank you for keeping the Court of Kenneth in good order. I knew I could rely on one so masterful.  :2thumbsup;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: goofynina on September 09, 2007, 02:10:37 PM
Ken, welcome home! Your royal ladies have missed you terribly!  As you noticed, we tried to continue without you, but we really needed our lord and master to keep us in line. Hope you had a lovely holiday and enjoyed your time away.      Now what was this thread about?  It is now a Ken and his royal court thread :yahoo;

Thank you my loyal subjects for your continued support. I must say the Royal Court of Kenneth functioned admirably whilst I was thus indisposed. One marvelled at the hiliarity of the various dispatches although some of you became a little flippant about the very serious subject of title bestowal. However I am now returneth to my spirtual home and all will be well.

Seriously we had a great holiday and for once the British weather was kind to us. Great to be back though, I'm really enjoying this. :2thumbsup;

Ahhhhhh, our Royal Highness has returned  :bow; :bow; :bow; :bow;  All is well in the bell tower sir :P  :P  WTF?  :urcrazy;

Greetings Duchess. Thank you for keeping the Court of Kenneth in good order. I knew I could rely on one so masterful.  :2thumbsup;

Now just wait a gosh darn pickin' minute here!!  Who is Duchess?  i thought i was Countess?  Wait, which one is higher?   ::)   And dont you mean mistressful?  Or, um, well, hmmmmm, that almost sounds kinda naughty, i think we better stick to the masterful or people (the pheasants  :oops;  i mean the peasants) are gonna start talking ;)   :P
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 09, 2007, 02:32:44 PM
Ken, welcome home! Your royal ladies have missed you terribly!  As you noticed, we tried to continue without you, but we really needed our lord and master to keep us in line. Hope you had a lovely holiday and enjoyed your time away.      Now what was this thread about?  It is now a Ken and his royal court thread :yahoo;

Thank you my loyal subjects for your continued support. I must say the Royal Court of Kenneth functioned admirably whilst I was thus indisposed. One marvelled at the hiliarity of the various dispatches although some of you became a little flippant about the very serious subject of title bestowal. However I am now returneth to my spirtual home and all will be well.

Seriously we had a great holiday and for once the British weather was kind to us. Great to be back though, I'm really enjoying this. :2thumbsup;

Ahhhhhh, our Royal Highness has returned  :bow; :bow; :bow; :bow;  All is well in the bell tower sir :P  :P  WTF?  :urcrazy;

Greetings Duchess. Thank you for keeping the Court of Kenneth in good order. I knew I could rely on one so masterful.  :2thumbsup;

Now just wait a gosh darn pickin' minute here!!  Who is Duchess?  i thought i was Countess?  Wait, which one is higher?   ::)   And dont you mean mistressful?  Or, um, well, hmmmmm, that almost sounds kinda naughty, i think we better stick to the masterful or people (the pheasants  :oops;  i mean the peasants) are gonna start talking ;)   :P

 :oops; Sorry Countess. Iv'e handed out so many titles I can't keep pace.I don't know which one is higher but I should have known there's only one Countess. :bow; :bow; :bow;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 09, 2007, 02:40:15 PM
Where's Sluff in all this. I summon him to come and accept his title. Both myself and my noble ladies and gentlmen of the Court of Kenneth will be most offended he doesn't.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: goofynina on September 09, 2007, 02:44:59 PM
Social Standing  Rank       Title(s)  
         B                            Knight  Sir, Dame  --  
                                     Baronet
                                    Baronet, Bart.
                                    Knight
                                     Lord, Lady

 
       C                              Baron  Baron, Baroness, von, haut, hault  (system-dependent)  
       D                              Marquis  Marquis, Marchioness  System  
       E                              Count  Count, Countess  Cluster of systems  
       F                              Duke  Duke, Duchess  Subsector, Sector  
       G                             Archduke  Archduke, Archduchess  Domain  
       H                             Emperor  Emperor  Imperium  

I cannot believe you gave me something in the E catagory?? How dareth ye  :P  I will gladly be retitled as Dame thank you very much  ::)

Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: goofynina on September 09, 2007, 02:47:10 PM
Where's Sluff in all this. I summon him to come and accept his title. Both myself and my noble ladies and gentlmen of the Court of Kenneth will be most offended he doesn't.

"HEAR YE HEAR YE" The Court Jester has officially been summonds by the royal higness Sir Kenneth Shelmerdinizzle  :bow;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: angela515 on September 09, 2007, 02:57:17 PM
I don't understand this british stuff but I like the thought of being a princess... so can I be one?  :waving;

NO!!
Oh go on then.

Am I a princess or not? I'm confused.   :P
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 09, 2007, 03:00:44 PM
Social Standing  Rank       Title(s)  
         B                            Knight  Sir, Dame  --  
                                     Baronet
                                    Baronet, Bart.
                                    Knight
                                     Lord, Lady

 
       C                              Baron  Baron, Baroness, von, haut, hault  (system-dependent)  
       D                              Marquis  Marquis, Marchioness  System  
       E                              Count  Count, Countess  Cluster of systems  
       F                              Duke  Duke, Duchess  Subsector, Sector  
       G                             Archduke  Archduke, Archduchess  Domain  
       H                             Emperor  Emperor  Imperium  

I cannot believe you gave me something in the E catagory?? How dareth ye  :P  I will gladly be retitled as Dame thank you very much  ::)



 ???Me thinks thee complaineth too mucheth but I am a kind man and shall grant you your wish. I hereby anounce that Goofynina formerly know as Countess is now bestowed the title of Dame Goofynina and will hereby be formally addressed as such.

With such an elevated title she will be even more mistressful  :oops;......er masterful.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 09, 2007, 03:04:54 PM
I don't understand this british stuff but I like the thought of being a princess... so can I be one?  :waving;

NO!!
Oh go on then.

Am I a princess or not? I'm confused.   :P

Angela is a lovely name so I will make you a Princess.

I hereby annoint you PRINCESS ANGELA THE CONFUSED.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on September 09, 2007, 03:10:04 PM
Was that Dame Goofynina ---  or  Damn Goofynina????   Just kidding!   I just keep reading things the wrong way! :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 09, 2007, 03:16:21 PM
Was that Dame Goofynina ---  or  Damn Goofynina????   Just kidding!   I just keep reading things the wrong way! :rofl;

 :rofl; Be careful what you say Paris she's right at the top of the aristocracy now she has the power to deport you to the colonies.

Well time for bedibyes. Clinic tomorow, I must alert the Household Cavalry.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: goofynina on September 09, 2007, 03:41:45 PM
Was that Dame Goofynina ---  or  Damn Goofynina????   Just kidding!   I just keep reading things the wrong way! :rofl;

Sheeeeit girlfriend, at this point you can call me anything you want  :P   :secret; Just dont call me..................late for dinner  ::)


I kinda like the way Damn Dame Goofynina sounds, lol  :2thumbsup;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on September 09, 2007, 03:52:16 PM
This is my favorite thread. Better than the joke one - this just makes me laugh.    Good night to our lord and master- pleasant dreams of you realm and kingdom.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on September 09, 2007, 04:09:09 PM
I am on my way, returning from a weekend of frolic.. 

Sir.. Sluff reporting, the dame goofynina, explained the honour of my presence was requested.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ohio Buckeye on September 09, 2007, 04:14:49 PM
a weekend of frolic................... wow!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on September 09, 2007, 04:33:03 PM
All of a sudden my Prime Minister title seems somewhat, how should I put this........lame.

I believe I need to find another country to give me a better title.  :waving;
Somewhere I can frolic like Sluff.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on September 09, 2007, 05:57:04 PM
Frolic???? I want to frolic!!  Maybe --- well,maybe not.   Welcome, Sluff, to the royal family.  You do understand that this is Ken's little kingdom and he rules ---well, you rule, too.  :bow;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on September 09, 2007, 06:10:34 PM
What are the rules for frolic around here, anyway?   Seems to me some people are way to frolicky as it is.  Like that damn Dame Goofynina.  An those Princesses.  I shall attempt to keep the games to a mild frolic.  Oh what the hell...Banana Dance across the grass!!!   :bandance; :bandance; :bandance;

Lady Kitkatz in the house!  :clap;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on September 09, 2007, 08:00:15 PM
I may just have to challenge Lord Kenneth Shelmerdine, to a dual of sorts. What shall my title be Sir Shelmerdine.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: goofynina on September 09, 2007, 08:01:24 PM
Do you not accept the title I have appointed you Court Jester?  lol,  :popcorn;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on September 09, 2007, 08:03:52 PM
Court Jester suits me fine, I shall wear that title with the utmost respect as appointed from the honourable Dame goofynina.   WTF am I saying... :lol;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 10, 2007, 05:38:04 AM
I may just have to challenge Lord Kenneth Shelmerdine, to a dual of sorts. What shall my title be Sir Shelmerdine.

I'm more curious about frolicking without any sort of dual thank you. I'm sure we can co-exist peacably in parallel kingdoms without resorting to violence so now I command you to

ARISE VISCOUNT SLUFF LORD MAYOR OF LONDON!! :clap; :clap;

I wrote the above before I noticed the post from the Damn Dame which recomended you be named court Jester. Although I can overule her  in favour of the above title I feel I must act on her recomendation because the Damn Dame can be very masterful so I therefore strip you of your title and you will now be known as Jester. Also with all this talk about dualing methinks I detect a competitive streak so I'll keep you as a lowly jester so you can't de-thone me.

Hope you enjoyed being aristocracy for the short time it lasted. >:D 
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 10, 2007, 05:40:46 AM
All of a sudden my Prime Minister title seems somewhat, how should I put this........lame.

I believe I need to find another country to give me a better title.  :waving;
Somewhere I can frolic like Sluff.

 ??? UNGRATEFUL!!!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on September 10, 2007, 05:59:46 AM
I may just have to challenge Lord Kenneth Shelmerdine, to a dual of sorts. What shall my title be Sir Shelmerdine.

I'm more curious about frolicking without any sort of dual thank you. I'm sure we can co-exist peacably in parallel kingdoms without resorting to violence so now I command you to

ARISE VISCOUNT SLUFF LORD MAYOR OF LONDON!! :clap; :clap;

That suits me fine..thank you Lord Shelmerdine.. :yahoo;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 10, 2007, 06:08:12 AM
I may just have to challenge Lord Kenneth Shelmerdine, to a dual of sorts. What shall my title be Sir Shelmerdine.

I'm more curious about frolicking without any sort of dual thank you. I'm sure we can co-exist peacably in parallel kingdoms without resorting to violence so now I command you to

ARISE VISCOUNT SLUFF LORD MAYOR OF LONDON!! :clap; :clap;

That suits me fine..thank you Lord Shelmerdine.. :yahoo;

Jester read my post again I had to amend it.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on September 10, 2007, 06:19:56 AM
How sad am I, that the first thing I do when I get up is check this thread!!  But it feels good to be laughing out loud :rofl;   
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on September 10, 2007, 09:28:17 AM
I beg your forgiveness Ken, I just want a tiara!
And one for Paris too! :bow; :bow; :bow;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on September 10, 2007, 10:44:44 AM
ahh then I must admit I would be up to a dual with the Master shelmerdine. You pick the place and the time, and I shall reveal my  mighty sword.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: goofynina on September 10, 2007, 10:49:23 AM
ahh then I must admit I would be up to a dual with the Master shelmerdine. You pick the place and the time, and I shall reveal my mighty sword.

OH YIKES!!!  Court Jester is threatening to whip out his sword  :o   Oh damn, this is getting good, better than any porno I..................oh, ummm, i mean, better than any movie i have seen  ::)    :popcorn; :popcorn; :popcorn; :popcorn;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on September 10, 2007, 11:09:12 AM
Lord have mercy!   Revealing what??? I think this thread took a wrong turn somewhere!   I have been named a "Lady" so I will try to act accordingly--- >:D
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: goofynina on September 10, 2007, 11:11:25 AM
Lord have mercy!   Revealing what??? I think this thread took a wrong turn somewhere!   I have been named a "Lady" so I will try to act accordingly--- >:D

Awww girlfriend, even Ladies got to have some fun too ;) ;)  :bandance; :bandance;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on September 10, 2007, 01:21:50 PM
Do we have to act Lady like? What fun is that?
I'm with Goofynina. I'll bring a camera.  :popcorn; :popcorn; :popcorn; :pics; :pics;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 10, 2007, 02:59:33 PM
ahh then I must admit I would be up to a dual with the Master shelmerdine. You pick the place and the time, and I shall reveal my  mighty sword.

 ??? How dare you, a humble court jester challenge the Lord of the Court. :boxing; I can't do a dual! I might die!.. you..
you....you.... have a bigger weapon than me (and a mighty sword too) OMG.... I'm a coward....don't hurt me.

Sluff, Jester, Viscount! call yourself anything you bloody well want, please do not unsheath thy mighty weapon (safe swordplay and all that) against my person. My loyal noble ladies, save me from this scoundrel who doth plainly plotteth againsteth me.......

Wait a minute, are there any more of you thinking this way.....OMG.... this court has only existed 3 weeks and already there's a CONSPIRICY to overthrow me.  :'( Oh what have I got myself into? :banghead; :banghead;

Have your dual with the Damn Dame, she said we should call you Jester. 
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 10, 2007, 03:03:31 PM
I beg your forgiveness Ken, I just want a tiara!
And one for Paris too! :bow; :bow; :bow;

You will both get your tiaras when I've quashed this up rising. :boxing; :boxing;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on September 10, 2007, 03:06:23 PM
 :rofl; :rofl;  I can not allow myself to be stripped of a title, without a battle. I will accept a more noble title from your Lordship or the Damn Dame, and I will remaineth loyal to my superiors.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on September 10, 2007, 05:29:03 PM
Sluff, what are you offering? Ken is offering two tiaras. Do I hear three tiaras and two designer wardrobes???? Paris and I need to look good when we frolic.  :bandance;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: goofynina on September 10, 2007, 06:19:47 PM
Quote

Have your dual with the Damn Dame, she said we should call you Jester. 


Woah Woah Woah WOAH!!!  Now i suggested it, but you officialized it (is that even a word) lol,  Court Jester, i demand that you unhand Lord Kenneth Shelmerdinizzle  and head back to your quarters or to the Lion's Den with you (wait, is that even in the same era?) :P   Damn, i wish i would've listened instead of slept in History  :urcrazy;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on September 10, 2007, 06:39:03 PM
Loin's Den that is where the male strippers are?  :oops;
I am sorry I re-read it, you said Lion's Den.
Let's tailgate at the duel. How much beer do we need?  :beer1;

Well, you do know we do need to keep our protein up :P  Who's gonna BBQ?   BETS, BETS, PLACE YOUR BETS, (dont forget the lawn chairs Romona)  Paris, can you make  a salad, we are going to see some ass whoopin' tonight :P :P   
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on September 10, 2007, 07:10:20 PM
I am crying from laughing so hard! :rofl;  I have been reading this outloud to my daughter and we are both in hysterics!  Romona, thanks for watching out for me--tiara and new wardrobe sounds lovely.   And I will bring the salad-does it have to be renal friendly?   Will the duel be held at the Tower of London?  Maybe where Anne Boleyn lost her head?  That is a nice open area.  It could be hard to BBQ there, so maybe Lord Ken can give us a good dueling place.  What does one wear to a duel?  Will there be blood?    Remember Ken and Sluff, no kidney :boxing; !!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on September 10, 2007, 08:00:53 PM
I failed history too. LOL I'm making this stuff up as we go...hehe :rofl;


Dame goofynina trust me you do not want a dissatisfied Jester on your hands.  If it is a Jester that be mine destiny than that it will be but I will work my way up the ranks...I will be VICTORIOUS someday.  :lol;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: thegrammalady on September 10, 2007, 10:44:19 PM
duel ???  duel ???  does this mean tea will be late ????????  maybe we should skip tea and go straight to the pub?  :wine;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: okarol on September 10, 2007, 11:05:25 PM
I beg your forgiveness Ken, I just want a tiara!
And one for Paris too! :bow; :bow; :bow;

You will both get your tiaras when I've quashed this up rising. :boxing; :boxing;

So spake he, and they readily hearkened to him and obeyed.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 11, 2007, 03:37:25 AM
:rofl; :rofl;  I can not allow myself to be stripped of a title, without a battle. I will accept a more noble title from your Lordship or the Damn Dame, and I will remaineth loyal to my superiors.

OK. OK. your a Viscount again.

You  will be known as Viscount Sluff and his Mighty Weapon. So there'll be no more talk of duals thank you very much and Ladies you can all stop baying for blood cause it would be my blood  !!!!

Romona,  Paris and the Grammalady I'm most disappointed in you both. Your Lord of the Court was in mortal danger and all you 3 could think of was beer, lawn chairs, male strippers and whooping it up!! :banghead;

I shall have to consider very seriously about the tiaras. New wardrobes?? jeez. ??? ??? 
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on September 11, 2007, 04:05:43 AM
Thank you Lord Shelmerdine, explain my duties and I shall be most Loyal to my superiors.  :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 11, 2007, 05:22:53 AM
Thank you Lord Shelmerdine, explain my duties and I shall be most Loyal to my superiors.  :rofl;

You and your Mighty Weapon are most welcome Viscount. :bow; :2thumbsup; Your duties shall be to continue your excellent administration of IHD and continue to post humourous messages to this thread but above all you must undertake never again to  challenge the Lord of the Court of Kenneth either with your mighty weapon or your big sword.... or both, on pain of banishment from the court and forced hard labour in a brothel of your own choosing.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on September 11, 2007, 09:08:48 AM
 :banghead; I guess the duel is off!
We're still tailgating though.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: thegrammalady on September 11, 2007, 09:21:50 AM

Romona,  Paris and the Grammalady I'm most disappointed in you both. Your Lord of the Court was in mortal danger and all you 3 could think of was beer, lawn chairs, male strippers and whooping it up!! :banghead;




of course, what fun would life be without, beer, lawn chairs and male strippers!! bring it on!!!!   :yahoo;  (and you're worried about a little blood)





Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: goofynina on September 11, 2007, 10:48:18 AM
:banghead; I guess the duel is off!
We're still tailgating though.

BAH!!!  What beith this?? No Duel??  Now us ladies of the court have prepared this feast to enjoy as we speculate a DUEL of some sort, and dammit, that is what we are going to see,  How does thee Lord Kenneth Shelmerdinizzle and Court Jester Sluff feel about wrestling??   :secret; in some mud ;)    :popcorn; :popcorn;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on September 11, 2007, 01:10:36 PM
Yeah, That's the ticket! :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 11, 2007, 01:43:20 PM
:banghead; I guess the duel is off!
We're still tailgating though.

BAH!!!  What beith this?? No Duel??  Now us ladies of the court have prepared this feast to enjoy as we speculate a DUEL of some sort, and dammit, that is what we are going to see,  How does thee Lord Kenneth Shelmerdinizzle and Court Jester Sluff feel about wrestling??   :secret; in some mud ;)    :popcorn; :popcorn;

Thy traitors. Though dust putteth thy Lord under much pressure. Do you really want me to infect my exit site???
Now behave yourself!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: goofynina on September 11, 2007, 01:49:19 PM
Exit Site Shmexit Site, WE WANT A DUEL! WE WANT A DUEL! (pass me another beer please) WE WANT A DUEL!   :popcorn; :popcorn; :popcorn;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on September 11, 2007, 02:09:35 PM
Ah but there must be someone that would like to duel.

I am a man of my word and remaineth loyal to my superiors, sorry ladies, now if you would like to wrestle amongst each other Jello wrestling is a safe way to go in case you get hungry while wrestling. The men will be the ones with the lounge chairs and popcorn. :popcorn;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 11, 2007, 02:24:58 PM
Ah but there must be someone that would like to duel.

I am a man of my word and remaineth loyal to my superiors, sorry ladies, now if you would like to wrestle amongst each other Jello wrestling is a safe way to go in case you get hungry while wrestling. The men will be the ones with the lounge chairs and popcorn. :popcorn;

 :yahoo; That's more like it!  The Damn Dame  Paris and Romona covered in mud.  :wine; Pass the popcorn >:D
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: cabarle on September 11, 2007, 02:45:54 PM
Ken,

I am a huge Doctor Who fan and watch BBC America. Funny thing is, most Brits I know don't watch the show. Thanks to my new center, I can bring my laptop in and watch 4 hours worth of Doctor Who during treatment. This is a BIG MORALE booster for me.

http://tv.groups.yahoo.com/group/Ohio_Type_40/

Doug


Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: goofynina on September 11, 2007, 02:52:14 PM
Who dareth commandeth Damn Dame Lady Countess Duchess Goofynina and her Royal Subjects Romona and Paris to partake in such mayhem, thou shalt knoweth that JELLO is high in Phosphorus thereforth  maybeith  deadly to thy Royal Party...


 (but wouldnt that be a site)  ::)  :bandance; :bandance; :bandance;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on September 11, 2007, 09:15:19 PM

Romona,  Paris and the Grammalady I'm most disappointed in you both. Your Lord of the Court was in mortal danger and all you 3 could think of was beer, lawn chairs, male strippers and whooping it up!! :banghead;




of course, what fun would life be without, beer, lawn chairs and male strippers!! bring it on!!!!   :yahoo;  (and you're worried about a little blood)

Oh yeah!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 12, 2007, 03:10:59 AM
Who dareth commandeth Damn Dame Lady Countess Duchess Goofynina and her Royal Subjects Romona and Paris to partake in such mayhem, thou shalt knoweth that JELLO is high in Phosphorus thereforth  maybeith  deadly to thy Royal Party...


 (but wouldnt that be a site)  ::)  :bandance; :bandance; :bandance;

Phosphorus Shmosphorus! JELLO JELLO JELLO!  MUD MUD MUD!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 12, 2007, 03:17:30 AM

Romona,  Paris and the Grammalady I'm most disappointed in you both. Your Lord of the Court was in mortal danger and all you 3 could think of was beer, lawn chairs, male strippers and whooping it up!! :banghead;




of course, what fun would life be without, beer, lawn chairs and male strippers!! bring it on!!!!   :yahoo;  (and you're worried about a little blood)

Oh yeah!

Yeah, MY BLOOD!!!  ???
My noble ladies have shown much disloyalty but are forgiven if they agree to wrestle with the Damn Dame Goofynina in Jello.  ;D
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on September 12, 2007, 04:07:39 AM
After the Ladies are done they must report to me how much strength the Dam Dame goofynina has in her right arm. I will be dueling the Dam Dame to an arm wrestling match in Vegas. I would like to know what I'm up against.  :lol;  :o
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on September 12, 2007, 08:34:13 AM
Oh my goodness!!  Jello, mud, dueling------I think I like this kingdom!!!  There is more fun here than in my real kingdom :yahoo;    You are making this Lady be a little less a Lady----getting me ready for Vegas!   I so wish our Lord and Master could be there!!  He could bring our tiaras! :rofl; :bow;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: goofynina on September 12, 2007, 01:39:26 PM
After the Ladies are done they must report to me how much strength the Dam Dame goofynina has in her right arm. I will be dueling the Dam Dame to an arm wrestling match in Vegas. I would like to know what I'm up against.  :lol;  :o

Be afraid Court Jester, be verrrrry afraid  :boxing; :boxing;  :P







Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on September 12, 2007, 01:58:48 PM
Due the dietary restraints we will change the jello wresting to Cole slaw wrestling.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: thegrammalady on September 12, 2007, 05:44:54 PM
Due the dietary restraints we will change the jello wresting to Cole slaw wrestling.

foo on the diet restrictions. take extra binders, BRING ON THE JELLO!!!!!!!!!!  i vote for strawberry.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on September 12, 2007, 06:05:35 PM
Ladies, I spent the day preparing for our mission ahead. I had a day of pampering and luxury in a city 2 hours away. I was at a spa (OK, it was a hospital). I had hair extentions put in (actually electrodes glued to my head). I was encouraged to get some beauty rest (those people treated me like I was 5 and forced me to take naps).They lovingly catered to my every need and watched me closely (they watched me while I napped). What skill they displayed performing this glamorous job (must not be any openings in the paint drying department). I was permitted to shop (went to the gift shop to get a bottle of water). I could tell the men wanted me and the women wanted to be me (they looked at me like I was a freak). I was all decked out with beautiful accessories (I had this box thingy hanging around my neck). My biggest fear is when the Doctor reviews my brain activity he will find I am actually a blond trapped in a redhead's body. :rofl; What a wonderful day and I wished you could have joined me.

I am all ready for the jello or coleslaw wrestling. But I believe both jello and coleslaw might stain our outfits. What is the solution to this dilemma?  :bandance;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: okarol on September 12, 2007, 06:11:54 PM
Ladies, I spent the day preparing for our mission ahead. I had a day of pampering and luxury in a city 2 hours away. I was at a spa (OK, it was a hospital). I had hair extentions put in (actually electrodes glued to my head). I was encouraged to get some beauty rest (those people treated me like I was 5 and forced me to take naps).They lovingly catered to my every need and watched me closely (they watched me while I napped). What skill they displayed performing this glamorous job (must not be any openings in the paint drying department). I was permitted to shop (went to the gift shop to get a bottle of water). I could tell the men wanted me and the women wanted to be me (they looked at me like I was a freak). I was all decked out with beautiful accessories (I had this box thingy hanging around my neck). My biggest fear is when the Doctor reviews my brain activity he will find I am actually a blond trapped in a redhead's body. :rofl; What a wonderful day and I wished you could have joined me.

I am all ready for the jello or coleslaw wrestling. But I believe both jello and coleslaw might stain our outfits. What is the solution to this dilemma?  :bandance;

LMAO  :rofl; What a glamorous life, Romona!  :D
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: thegrammalady on September 12, 2007, 06:38:38 PM

I am all ready for the jello or coleslaw wrestling. But I believe both jello and coleslaw might stain our outfits. What is the solution to this dilemma?  :bandance;

nudity????????????????????     :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: goofynina on September 12, 2007, 06:45:19 PM
Sounds to me like they treated you like Royalty allright ;) ;) 

Now we need to get this right, we got all this food (and beer) brought out the lounge chairs and we have yet to see any action, hmmmm, the guys have somehow weasled their way out of "dueling" for us and have now requested that us Ladies do all the dirty work? hmmmm?   Well ladies, we got to do what we gots to do, pack up our stuff and head over to Thunder down Under and as for the gentlemen of the court, EHH, LET THEM EAT CAKE!!!  :clap;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: okarol on September 12, 2007, 06:50:06 PM
Sounds to me like they treated you like Royalty allright ;) ;) 

Now we need to get this right, we got all this food (and beer) brought out the lounge chairs and we have yet to see any action, hmmmm, the guys have somehow weasled their way out of "dueling" for us and have now requested that us Ladies do all the dirty work? hmmmm?   Well ladies, we got to do what we gots to do, pack up our stuff and head over to Thunder down Under and as for the gentlemen of the court, EHH, LET THEM EAT CAKE!!!  :clap;

Now thouist is talking!!!  :bandance;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on September 12, 2007, 06:54:37 PM

I am all ready for the jello or coleslaw wrestling. But I believe both jello and coleslaw might stain our outfits. What is the solution to this dilemma?  :bandance;

nudity???????????????????? :rofl;
Well if I must.........there will be more jiggling than jello. And I am not talking about melons. I am afraid I have inherited my mothers nice fingernails and my father's chest.  :banghead;
Sounds to me like they treated you like Royalty allright ;) ;)

Now we need to get this right, we got all this food (and beer) brought out the lounge chairs and we have yet to see any action, hmmmm, the guys have somehow weasled their way out of "dueling" for us and have now requested that us Ladies do all the dirty work? hmmmm? Well ladies, we got to do what we gots to do, pack up our stuff and head over to Thunder down Under and as for the gentlemen of the court, EHH, LET THEM EAT CAKE!!! :clap;

Now thouist is talking!!! :bandance;
Who is this Thunder Down Under?  :clap;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: goofynina on September 12, 2007, 07:10:50 PM
Thunder Down Under are male strippers in Vegas and i dont care if i am stripped  :o  of ALL my royalties, bring on the beefcakes ;) ;)  :bandance; :bandance;

 :secret; Sir Kenneth Shelmerdinizzle,  i was only kidding, please dont take my title or my crown, if you do, hmm, if you do, YOU will get a ROYAL ASS KICKIN'  :boxing; :boxing;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: angela515 on September 12, 2007, 07:51:19 PM
YOU will get a ROYAL ASS KICKIN' :boxing; :boxing;

I am putting my money on Damn Dame :)
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on September 12, 2007, 07:53:58 PM
Romona, don't worry, I have the melon thing covered!!!  And lots of jiggling---not jello!   If we are the royals---why aren't the peasants doing all the work and entertainment???   I just want to sit on my throne, have "high tea"  and watch lovely English subjects duel or whatever!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on September 12, 2007, 08:02:59 PM
Romona, don't worry, I have the melon thing covered!!!  And lots of jiggling---not jello!   If we are the royals---why aren't the peasants doing all the work and entertainment???   I just want to sit on my throne, have "high tea"  and watch lovely English subjects duel or whatever!
Ladies I have a new challenge. Let's put our brave knights together on one team and have them challenge the Thunder Down Under!

I'm betting on Kinky Ken and Sexy Sluff.  :boxing;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: goofynina on September 12, 2007, 08:03:17 PM
Romona, don't worry, I have the melon thing covered!!!  And lots of jiggling---not jello!   If we are the royals---why aren't the peasants doing all the work and entertainment???   I just want to sit on my throne, have "high tea"  and watch lovely English subjects duel or whatever!


So be it,  Hence forth I beith Damn Dame Lady Queen Countess Duchess Goofynina and thouest shall have ye request Lady Paris (with the melons)  :o   Sir Kenneth Shelmerdinizzle and thee Court Jester WILL duel for the ladies at high noon tomorrow orrrrrrrrr, they have to do all the cleaning and washing and the cooking and the sewing and also mow the lawn of the castle,  for 1 month, AND THAT IS AN ORDER BY RULE OF THE DAMN DAME *gasp*  :bow; :bow;

Why you ask?? because............GIRLS RULE AND BOYS DROOL, so there :P
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on September 12, 2007, 08:12:25 PM
Quote
I'm betting on Kinky Ken and Sexy Sluff.  :boxing;
 



Why don't we just sit and watch Kinky Ken and Sexy Sluff do their thing?  I am getting tired of all the preparation and I don't see them doing anything to get this going.  I know--they are the Lords or Kings or whatever, but seems like they could order some lowly subjects to do the work we Ladies are doing.  I am just ready for my tiara, wardrobe--and man show!!!!!!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on September 12, 2007, 08:17:56 PM
Maybe we should try to find more men. There must be a board out there like IHD made up of men willing to Duel. You know IHD "Incredibly Hot Dudes" or "Intelligent Hunks Dueling".  :bandance;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: goofynina on September 12, 2007, 08:24:51 PM
Maybe we should try to find more men. There must be a board out there like IHD made up of men willing to Duel. You know IHD "Incredibly Hot Dudes" or "Intelligent Hunks Dueling".  :bandance;


Uh oh, are thouest getting annoyed with the "Brits"?  Shall we seek others as Romona has suggested?  Orrr, will Kinky Ken and Sexy Sluff deliver?  Hmmmm, Decisions , decisions, 

 :secret;  You know Paris, i did see this shop that sold Tiara's down on Belmont and Olive, i say we go check them out and next door there is a Karaoke Bar (i am sure we can get some Hunky Menz in there) :P   What d'ya say?  How 'bout you Romona?  Do we dare live this Kingdom and seek, or shall we stay here and continue this pish posh?   :popcorn; :popcorn; :popcorn;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on September 12, 2007, 08:37:15 PM
We must be patient and give our gentlemen time to respond.
Wait until daybreak breaks through the night sky across the Big Pond.
Tomorrow we'll get the answer we desperately seek.
We must stand by our knights, be brave and not weak. :angel;

If they are not willing to answer our plea.
On to Belmont and Olive's, Susie, Paris and me.
We'll sing sad and depressing tune.
Sluff and Ken the deadline is noon.  >:D
We all live in different time zones so we'll give them a few hours.  :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: angela515 on September 12, 2007, 08:38:58 PM
Hahahah... Very nice Ramona.  :thumbup;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: goofynina on September 12, 2007, 08:44:25 PM
Ooooh Romona, verrrry nice  :clap;

OK Gentlemen?  What's it going to be?  *tick tock tick tock tick tock*  time's a-waistin'  :popcorn;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on September 12, 2007, 08:50:29 PM
I want a tiara!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: angela515 on September 12, 2007, 10:08:40 PM
I am still waiting for my tiara also... since i'm a princess.  :bandance;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: goofynina on September 12, 2007, 10:11:37 PM
Sorry Ladies, we have a hold on passing out any more tiara's until we see some action.   :clap;   You might want to send Sir Kenneth and Jester Sluff a message and let them know how you feel.  and maybe we'll get what we've been WAITING FOR!!!  :yahoo;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: okarol on September 12, 2007, 11:28:04 PM
Ooooh Romona, verrrry nice  :clap;

OK Gentlemen?  What's it going to be?  *tick tock tick tock tick tock*  time's a-waistin'  :popcorn;

When time runs out... do we get to see the Royal Flogging?!?!  :popcorn;  :o ;D :lol;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Bajanne on September 13, 2007, 12:30:39 AM
This British thing has gone to you guys' heads!!! :rofl; :rofl;

Don't let me tell my Queen about your goings ons! :secret;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 13, 2007, 03:11:48 AM
Ladies, I spent the day preparing for our mission ahead. I had a day of pampering and luxury in a city 2 hours away. I was at a spa (OK, it was a hospital). I had hair extentions put in (actually electrodes glued to my head). I was encouraged to get some beauty rest (those people treated me like I was 5 and forced me to take naps).They lovingly catered to my every need and watched me closely (they watched me while I napped). What skill they displayed performing this glamorous job (must not be any openings in the paint drying department). I was permitted to shop (went to the gift shop to get a bottle of water). I could tell the men wanted me and the women wanted to be me (they looked at me like I was a freak). I was all decked out with beautiful accessories (I had this box thingy hanging around my neck). My biggest fear is when the Doctor reviews my brain activity he will find I am actually a blond trapped in a redhead's body. :rofl; What a wonderful day and I wished you could have joined me.

I am all ready for the jello or coleslaw wrestling. But I believe both jello and coleslaw might stain our outfits. What is the solution to this dilemma?  :bandance;

STRIP!! >:D Now come on Romona you left yourself wide open for that one. ;D ;)
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 13, 2007, 03:14:57 AM
Thunder Down Under are male strippers in Vegas and i dont care if i am stripped  :o  of ALL my royalties, bring on the beefcakes ;) ;)  :bandance; :bandance;

 :secret; Sir Kenneth Shelmerdinizzle,  i was only kidding, please dont take my title or my crown, if you do, hmm, if you do, YOU will get a ROYAL ASS KICKIN'  :boxing; :boxing;

OH YES PLEASE!!! :2thumbsup;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 13, 2007, 03:20:22 AM
I want a tiara!

You're all becoming traitors. Bollocks to your Tiaras :boxing; :boxing;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 13, 2007, 05:51:27 AM
Ooooh Romona, verrrry nice  :clap;

OK Gentlemen?  What's it going to be?  *tick tock tick tock tick tock*  time's a-waistin'  :popcorn;

 :thumbdown; Oh no ladies you're not going to turn the tables that easily. Nay nay and thrice nay. There'll be no more talk of dueling between Viscount Sluff and me.

I, Lord of the Court of King Kenneth sole distributer of 3 speed walking canes and world famous earthworm surgeon, order my treacherous Ladies of the Court to the Tower where you will all strip naked and do battle waist deep in porridge whilst singing Land of Hope and Glory accompanied by violin oboe and woopee cushion and do the housework cooking and cleaning all simultaneously until such time as I and the Mighty Weaponed One order you to cease. 

 I knoweth your game oh Damn Dame, to divide and conquer but me and the Mighty Weaponed One will stand firm (er..... I'd better re-phrase that)....er....The Viscount and I are United in our resolve to never,  nay, never, surrender to the will of the Damn Dame and her cohorts. So...there  :bandance; :bandance; :bandance;



EDITED: Fixed  :thumbdown; icon error - Sluff/ Admin
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 13, 2007, 05:56:27 AM
Ooooh Romona, verrrry nice  :clap;

OK Gentlemen?  What's it going to be?  *tick tock tick tock tick tock*  time's a-waistin'  :popcorn;

When time runs out... do we get to see the Royal Flogging?!?!  :popcorn;  :o ;D :lol;

Barbarian!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 13, 2007, 06:07:49 AM
Ken,

I am a huge Doctor Who fan and watch BBC America. Funny thing is, most Brits I know don't watch the show. Thanks to my new center, I can bring my laptop in and watch 4 hours worth of Doctor Who during treatment. This is a BIG MORALE booster for me.

http://tv.groups.yahoo.com/group/Ohio_Type_40/

Doug



Hi Doug,
I've only seen a couple of episodes of the new Doctor Who. They broadcast at odd times over here so either I'm out somewhere or it's on very early evening. (We don't usually put the telly on till about 7.30 pm) so I've quite often missed it by then. I used  to watch the old series, I saw the very first episode in 1962 I think it was. Glad it makes the time at your centre more bearable.

If you've read much of this thread you'd be forgiven for thinking we're as mad as a bag of rats. It didn't start out that way it sort of.......well......just degenerated! Don't let it put you off, please keep posting.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on September 13, 2007, 06:43:21 AM
My dear Lord Ken, I just want you to know that I am a loyal subject and even if there isn't a duel or blood bath or even a lovely man show, I remain loyal to your kingdom.   (ladies we must stay on his good side---they have been known to chop off heads over there!)   No head=no tiara! :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on September 13, 2007, 06:44:41 AM
Do we want more men around?  Right now we are the majority----Oh I mean, right now we have two lovely Lords. Why do we need more?
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 13, 2007, 07:02:53 AM
My dear Lord Ken, I just want you to know that I am a loyal subject and even if there isn't a duel or blood bath or even a lovely man show, I remain loyal to your kingdom.   (ladies we must stay on his good side---they have been known to chop off heads over there!)   No head=no tiara! :rofl;

At last! The loyalty I deserve and now Lady Paris, pick your Tiara.
http://www.hair-we-go.co.uk/shop/products.asp?cat=111

 I call upon all my loyal ladies to turn away from the treachery of the Damn Dame and return to the court. There's a tiara in it for you ( But only after the porridge fight at the Tower) >:D
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on September 13, 2007, 07:35:47 AM
Won't we be attacked by those huge ravens at the Tower if we are covered in porridge??  They are very big and they scare me!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 13, 2007, 08:25:53 AM
Won't we be attacked by those huge ravens at the Tower if we are covered in porridge??  They are very big and they scare me!

No, they're muslim ravens and it's Ramadan.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on September 13, 2007, 08:54:48 AM
 :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on September 13, 2007, 09:09:12 AM
Quote
! >:D Now come on Romona you left yourself wide open for that one. ;D ;)That my friend was a test. I now know you are no gentleman ;)

Now take off your shirt and flex those bi-ceps and apologize
Won't we be attacked by those huge ravens at the Tower if we are covered in porridge??  They are very big and they scare me!

No, they're muslim ravens and it's Ramadan.

 :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;


I guess we can wrestle in traditional dress.


EDITED: Fixed quote tag error - Sluff/ Admin
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on September 13, 2007, 09:22:11 AM
Ken, I  am trying to choose which tiara I would like.  They are all so wonderful!  Do I need to get my new wardrobe before picking a tiara?  Harrod's --- remember I want to go shopping.  I would like to stop in the Great Food Hall first for a little something to nibble on. 
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: goofynina on September 13, 2007, 10:36:05 AM
 :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;  I swear, if i could pee i would've done it in this here chair i am sitting on as i type,  You guys have me rollin' over here  :clap; :clap;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Hawkeye on September 13, 2007, 12:49:03 PM
:rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;  I swear, if i could pee i would've done it in this here chair i am sitting on as i type,  You guys have me rollin' over here  :clap; :clap;

I have to agree that this thread is a million times funnier than the joke thread.  ;D :D :yahoo; :clap; :rofl; :bow;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on September 13, 2007, 01:38:33 PM
Lord Schelmerdine I am in desperate need of a new loin cloth. Do we have enough budgeted for such attire? I'm afraid if we do not the Ladies will get just what they want.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on September 13, 2007, 01:55:50 PM
Sexy Sluff in a Kilt!!  That's what we want! :rofl;   They don't wear anything under the kilts, do they????   
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on September 13, 2007, 02:22:49 PM
Sexy Sluff in a Kilt!!  That's what we want! :rofl;   They don't wear anything under the kilts, do they????   

I shall not reveal such information.  :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on September 13, 2007, 04:12:39 PM
Knobby knees under a kilt. You better get a scabbard for your weapon Sluff. Can't leave it out in the rain.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on September 13, 2007, 04:50:53 PM
Scabbard for Sluff's weapon :rofl;  We are going to banned from this site!  Or the thread will be locked!   I hope not, because I love our special little kingdom. 
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on September 13, 2007, 05:24:42 PM
No laughing at me scabbord or perma..ban  :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on September 13, 2007, 07:45:17 PM
Lord Schelmerdine I am in desperate need of a new loin cloth. Do we have enough budgeted for such attire? I'm afraid if we do not the Ladies will get just what they want.
Hey guys I need your sizes. I am going to run to "Loin Cloths R Us". If they are out of what you need and I'll check "Kiltmart". Any allergies I should know about? I wouldn't want you to get "scabies" on your scabbord.  :o
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on September 13, 2007, 08:42:38 PM
Lord Schelmerdine I am in desperate need of a new loin cloth. Do we have enough budgeted for such attire? I'm afraid if we do not the Ladies will get just what they want.
Hey guys I need your sizes. I am going to run to "Loin Cloths R Us". If they are out of what you need and I'll check "Kiltmart". Any allergies I should know about? I wouldn't want you to get "scabies" on your scabbord.  :o

I'm not too worried about allergies but I think I may need to evaluate the proper size. One size does not fit all in the kilt department.  ;D
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: goofynina on September 13, 2007, 08:45:18 PM
Lord Schelmerdine I am in desperate need of a new loin cloth. Do we have enough budgeted for such attire? I'm afraid if we do not the Ladies will get just what they want.
Hey guys I need your sizes. I am going to run to "Loin Cloths R Us". If they are out of what you need and I'll check "Kiltmart". Any allergies I should know about? I wouldn't want you to get "scabies" on your scabbord.  :o

I'm not too worried about allergies but I think I may need to evaluate the proper size. One size does not fit all in the kilt department.  ;D

Well, if its comfort you are looking for,  you can always wear a Hawaiian Mumu ;)   :twocents;     oooh la laaa  ::)
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Bajanne on September 14, 2007, 01:49:39 AM
Please tell me, can this thread get any crazier??????
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 14, 2007, 03:19:13 AM
Lord Schelmerdine I am in desperate need of a new loin cloth. Do we have enough budgeted for such attire? I'm afraid if we do not the Ladies will get just what they want.
Hey guys I need your sizes. I am going to run to "Loin Cloths R Us". If they are out of what you need and I'll check "Kiltmart". Any allergies I should know about? I wouldn't want you to get "scabies" on your scabbord.  :o

Romana, I commission you as Royal Seamstress to the Court. Viscount Sluff and I will watch the porridge fight dressed in kilts which I hope my lady Romona will kindly fashion from only the finest Scottish Harris Tweed. As for suitable attire to be worn under the kilt, I personally will require some kami-knickers as I still pee! Also can you make me a comfortable bra because I am nearly sixty years old and am developing man breasts.

A size 'B' cup should do. ;D
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 14, 2007, 03:20:32 AM
Please tell me, can this thread get any crazier??????

I certainly hope so! :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on September 14, 2007, 03:38:32 AM
I'm out of the Scottish Tweed. Will burlap do?
We certainly need the the Kami knickers. Would not want you to catch a draft.   :o
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 14, 2007, 03:55:00 AM
Ken, I  am trying to choose which tiara I would like.  They are all so wonderful!  Do I need to get my new wardrobe before picking a tiara?  Harrod's --- remember I want to go shopping.  I would like to stop in the Great Food Hall first for a little something to nibble on. 

http://www.harrods.com/Cultures/en-GB/KnightsbridgeStore/AllFloors/
Lady Paris. Now don't spend a fortune in there. Money don't grow on trees yer know.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 14, 2007, 04:00:48 AM
I'm out of the Scottish Tweed. Will burlap do?
We certainly need the the Kami knickers. Would not want you to catch a draft.   :o

Burlap it will have to be then. What about my sporron? The Mighty Weaponed one will need one too and it needs to match his scabbard. :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 14, 2007, 04:08:46 AM
I am still waiting for my tiara also... since i'm a princess.  :bandance;

Sorry you've had to wait so long Princess Angela, please pick your Tiara, but not too expensive eh?
http://www.hair-we-go.co.uk/shop/products.asp?cat=111
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on September 14, 2007, 06:20:38 AM
Ahhhh- a shopping day at Harrod's!  I am so excited! I certainly will try to keep within a resonable budget.  Do I have to buy hats?  I really don't look good in hats, especially those big brimmed ones with flowers on them.  I know the Queen looks good wearing them, but it really isn't my style.  And what about purses?  What does the Queen really carry in her purses?  Does she need money for a taxi????  A drivers license? Cell phone?  Breath mints?  National secrets?  Just wondering.         Hope you have a lovely day, Lord Kenneth. Your royal court is here to serve you :bow;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 14, 2007, 07:05:18 AM
What does the Queen really carry in her purses? 

CRACK COCAINE >:D >:D
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 14, 2007, 07:08:27 AM
Ahhhh- a shopping day at Harrod's!  I am so excited! I certainly will try to keep within a resonable budget.  Do I have to buy hats?  I really don't look good in hats, especially those big brimmed ones with flowers on them.  I know the Queen looks good wearing them, but it really isn't my style.  And what about purses?  What does the Queen really carry in her purses?  Does she need money for a taxi????  A drivers license? Cell phone?  Breath mints?  National secrets?  Just wondering.         Hope you have a lovely day, Lord Kenneth. Your royal court is here to serve you :bow;

My Noble Lady Paris  I've just given you a tiara so you won't have to worry about a hat.  ;D
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: angela515 on September 14, 2007, 11:49:08 AM
My Tiara.  :D

Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on September 14, 2007, 02:06:29 PM
I'm out of the Scottish Tweed. Will burlap do?
We certainly need the the Kami knickers. Would not want you to catch a draft.   :o

Burlap it will have to be then. What about my sporron? The Mighty Weaponed one will need one too and it needs to match his scabbard. :rofl;

I have no idea how to measure and fit the sporron and scabbard. Do I do the inseam first? How do I check the rise?
I have decided that nothing but the finest silk will do. Now what color? Black is slimming and minimizing, but that might make objects appear smaller.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on September 14, 2007, 02:23:23 PM
I am not going to touch that subject!   I mean-----the measuring part!  I don't think our Lords want ANYTHING looking smaller, well, Kinky Ken did mention his man boobs,use the black silk there---------can't believe I am even typing this!       
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on September 14, 2007, 03:14:25 PM
 :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;
I can lend him my bra, we are the same size.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: goofynina on September 14, 2007, 04:49:40 PM
:rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;
I can lend him my bra, we are the same size.

OMG, my back boobs (love handles) are bigger than both of your front boobs, oh damn, *where's my freaken Tae Bo tape*  :boxing;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: okarol on September 14, 2007, 04:55:27 PM

    :o You guys are just killing me  ;D  :rofl;  ::)  :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on September 14, 2007, 06:20:02 PM
:rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;
I can lend him my bra, we are the same size.

OMG, my back boobs (love handles) are bigger than both of your front boobs, oh damn, *where's my freaken Tae Bo tape* :boxing;

I absolutely love Billy. I love to see him sweat! I sit in front of the TV watch him and eat pizza. All that work he does really works my appetite.
There is a hot italian looking guy on one of the tapes I have.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on September 14, 2007, 07:07:47 PM
I have made my choice and I send you my thanks and gratitude Lord Ken.   

(http://www.hair-we-go.co.uk/shop/images/products/2175.jpg)
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on September 14, 2007, 07:12:35 PM
Paris, we picked the same one.  :(

I'll just take ten thousand in US dollars (I don't want pounds, my doctor wants me to lose weight)  :bandance;. I will have one custom made.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on September 14, 2007, 09:55:23 PM
By the bye...Are you putting tents in the kilts to help the manly men with their weapons?
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 15, 2007, 04:24:53 AM
My Tiara.  :D



And I bet you look a true Princess in it. :2thumbsup;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 15, 2007, 04:32:47 AM
Paris, we picked the same one.  :(

I'll just take ten thousand in US dollars (I don't want pounds, my doctor wants me to lose weight)  :bandance;. I will have one custom made.

Sorry ladies, Paris,  you cleaned out my bank ballance when you went to  Harrods so you'll both have to buy your own tiara's.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 15, 2007, 04:41:59 AM
I have no idea how to measure and fit the sporron and scabbard. Do I do the inseam first? How do I check the rise?
I have decided that nothing but the finest silk will do. Now what color? Black is slimming and minimizing, but that might make objects appear smaller.


How should I know, your the seamstress!  ??? Check the rise? What on earth does she mean Sluff? Colour should be always be tartan for a kllt. Silk's OK for the Kami-knickers. Don't worry about black for me,.....oh I'd better not go any further with that one, I've already been accused of not being a gentleman. ;D
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 15, 2007, 04:43:17 AM
:rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;
I can lend him my bra, we are the same size.

OMG, my back boobs (love handles) are bigger than both of your front boobs, oh damn, *where's my freaken Tae Bo tape*  :boxing;

Who's Tae bo and who's Billy?
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 15, 2007, 04:49:07 AM
By the bye...Are you putting tents in the kilts to help the manly men with their weapons?

Lady Kitkazts, I didn't expect such a thing from a lady. Romona, better make it a marquee for Sluff. :rofl; :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on September 15, 2007, 04:50:16 AM
You know we ladies have to be sure the men in our lives are well taken care of.   I shaved my legs for this?
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on September 15, 2007, 04:54:31 AM
You know we ladies have to be sure the men in our lives are well taken care of.   I shaved my legs for this?

Funny.. so did I.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 15, 2007, 04:54:42 AM
You know we ladies have to be sure the men in our lives are well taken care of.   I shaved my legs for this?
:rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; Good idea. Helps the porridge to S...l...i...d...e :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on September 15, 2007, 04:58:24 AM
I was unaware I was participating in the porridge wrestling, or was it Jello wrestling?  I guess I better shave more than the legs!

By the way, why wasn't I told I could purchase a tiara a Harrod's?  Harrod's said your credit was no good anymore and please take my business somewhere else.  It seems they have had a run on tiaras lately. Some people from IHD.com....
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 15, 2007, 05:06:43 AM
I was unaware I was participating in the porridge wrestling, or was it Jello wrestling?  I guess I better shave more than the legs!

By the way, why wasn't I told I could purchase a tiara a Harrod's?  Harrod's said your credit was no good anymore and please take my business somewhere else.  It seems they have had a run on tiaras lately. Some people from IHD.com....

All ladies who have posted to this thread must participate. Sorry I didn't tell you about Harrods but it's all by the by now 'cause Lady Paris has bankrupted me. :o


Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on September 15, 2007, 05:22:12 AM
The quotes I need to use would take up a whole page. You guys are great, all of you. You all crack me up!  :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on September 15, 2007, 05:32:24 AM
I was unaware I was participating in the porridge wrestling, or was it Jello wrestling?  I guess I better shave more than the legs!

By the way, why wasn't I told I could purchase a tiara a Harrod's?  Harrod's said your credit was no good anymore and please take my business somewhere else.  It seems they have had a run on tiaras lately. Some people from IHD.com....

All ladies who have posted to this thread must participate. Sorry I didn't tell you about Harrods but it's all by the by now 'cause Lady Paris has bankrupted me. :o




Why did Lady Paris get the credit cards?  Besides where are the Royal Chocolate Bars that were to have been royally presented to me?  After all I am the Chocolate Bar Lady.  I am still waiting! (Taps fooot impatiently).  Well...if you are going to allow Lady Paris out in Paris with the credit cards, we are definitely going to have to duel in the porridge!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on September 15, 2007, 07:57:22 AM
Is porridge as good for your skin as oatmeal?
I want at least soft and silky skin when I'm done.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 15, 2007, 08:27:06 AM
Is porridge as good for your skin as oatmeal?
I want at least soft and silky skin when I'm done.

Porridge is oats so I guess so. ;)
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 15, 2007, 08:31:59 AM
I was unaware I was participating in the porridge wrestling, or was it Jello wrestling?  I guess I better shave more than the legs!

By the way, why wasn't I told I could purchase a tiara a Harrod's?  Harrod's said your credit was no good anymore and please take my business somewhere else.  It seems they have had a run on tiaras lately. Some people from IHD.com....

All ladies who have posted to this thread must participate. Sorry I didn't tell you about Harrods but it's all by the by now 'cause Lady Paris has bankrupted me. :o




Why did Lady Paris get the credit cards?  Besides where are the Royal Chocolate Bars that were to have been royally presented to me?  After all I am the Chocolate Bar Lady.  I am still waiting! (Taps fooot impatiently).  Well...if you are going to allow Lady Paris out in Paris with the credit cards, we are definitely going to have to duel in the porridge!

Here are the chocolate bars. It's about all I can afford
http://www.nestle.co.uk/OurBrands/AboutOurBrands/ConfectioneryAndCakes/KitKat.htm
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on September 15, 2007, 08:47:17 AM
Well, I got stuck in the Great Food Hall at Harrod's, and after high tea, a little champayne, some yummy sweets-------it wasn't hard to go through Sir, Lord, King Kinky Ken's credit cards.  Since I was in our own little Kingdom, I ate and drank anything I wanted!  So now there will be even more jiggling and shaking going on in the porridge pit :rofl;     
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: st789 on September 15, 2007, 09:18:40 AM
Porridge is like rice, just cook longer and with more water.  I have eat a lot of different types porridge through out my life.  It purpose is to help those not able to eat solid foods and ill to recover.  Oatmeal is more nutritious and lower cholesterol.  So the answer is no, unless you added other stuff to mix with rice and cook it.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on September 15, 2007, 09:47:36 AM
Oh, we are suppose to eat it!  I don't think that is what Ken and Sluff had in mind :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 16, 2007, 04:29:37 AM
Porridge is like rice, just cook longer and with more water.  I have eat a lot of different types porridge through out my life.  It purpose is to help those not able to eat solid foods and ill to recover.  Oatmeal is more nutritious and lower cholesterol.  So the answer is no, unless you added other stuff to mix with rice and cook it.

I think there may be a difference between the UK and USA as to the definition porridge. In the UK porridge is most deffinately oatmeal mixed with boiled milk and is normally eaten at breakfast. This is what I had in mind for the porridge fight. No ladies you don't have to take the plunge when it is still boiling, only when i'ts cooled off a bit. ;D
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on September 16, 2007, 04:36:23 AM
Porridge is like rice, just cook longer and with more water.  I have eat a lot of different types porridge through out my life.  It purpose is to help those not able to eat solid foods and ill to recover.  Oatmeal is more nutritious and lower cholesterol.  So the answer is no, unless you added other stuff to mix with rice and cook it.

I think there may be a difference between the UK and USA as to the definition porridge. In the UK porridge is most definitely oatmeal mixed with boiled milk and is normally eaten at breakfast. This is what I had in mind for the porridge fight. No ladies you don't have to take the plunge when it is still boiling, only when it's cooled off a bit. ;D

The more you eat the more you expose yourself and less to clean up after.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 16, 2007, 04:41:36 AM
Oh, we are suppose to eat it!  I don't think that is what Ken and Sluff had in mind :rofl;

No you just wrestle in it....Then me and Sluff eat it. :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on September 16, 2007, 04:45:01 AM
Very well then, I will be hosting free showers before the fun begins.  :rofl;  :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 16, 2007, 04:50:00 AM
Very well then, I will be hosting free showers before the fun begins.  :rofl;  :rofl;

And I'll bring the video equipement  >:D :rofl; :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on September 16, 2007, 04:53:16 AM
Very well then, I will be hosting free showers before the fun begins.  :rofl;  :rofl;

And I'll bring the video equipement  >:D :rofl; :rofl;

Who said we weren't doing anything to get ready for the showdown? We are well prepared, now lets see the action!  :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on September 16, 2007, 05:47:00 AM
Very well then, I will be hosting free showers before the fun begins.  :rofl;  :rofl;

And I'll bring the video equipement  >:D :rofl; :rofl;

Who said we weren't doing anything to get ready for the showdown? We are well prepared, now lets see the action! :rofl;
Might I suggest a sugar scrub. Brown sugar. It is a great exflolliate for the skin. Goes well with oatmeal.  :bandance;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: thegrammalady on September 16, 2007, 09:20:19 AM
i'm lost, confused and befuzzled....................
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: angela515 on September 16, 2007, 09:22:13 AM
As am I gramm
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on September 16, 2007, 09:59:12 AM
i'm lost, confused and befuzzled....................


That was the plan.

Actually the ladies showdown will be in oatmeal instead of coleslaw or jello.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on September 16, 2007, 10:45:12 AM
I don't see why anyone is confused!! Sexy Sluff and Kinky Ken are wearing skirts, revealing their weapons while Goofynina, Romona, KitKatz and Paris are romping in porraidge!!  In the meantime, I have used up all of Ken's credit line--oh yeah, Princess Angela picked out a tiara, too.    Lady Kitkatz wants chocolate and lots of it.  Romona is busy sewing kilts and thingys to keep weapons from chaffing.  Doesn't that all make perfect sense?     :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;   
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on September 16, 2007, 01:12:42 PM
I don't see why anyone is confused!! Sexy Sluff and Kinky Ken are wearing skirts, revealing their weapons while Goofynina, Romona, KitKatz and Paris are romping in porraidge!! In the meantime, I have used up all of Ken's credit line--oh yeah, Princess Angela picked out a tiara, too. Lady Kitkatz wants chocolate and lots of it. Romona is busy sewing kilts and thingys to keep weapons from chaffing. Doesn't that all make perfect sense? :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;


Very well said.  :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 16, 2007, 01:40:46 PM
I don't see why anyone is confused!! Sexy Sluff and Kinky Ken are wearing skirts, revealing their weapons while Goofynina, Romona, KitKatz and Paris are romping in porraidge!!  In the meantime, I have used up all of Ken's credit line--oh yeah, Princess Angela picked out a tiara, too.    Lady Kitkatz wants chocolate and lots of it.  Romona is busy sewing kilts and thingys to keep weapons from chaffing.  Doesn't that all make perfect sense?     :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;   

 :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on September 16, 2007, 02:04:40 PM
I don't see why anyone is confused!! Sexy Sluff and Kinky Ken are wearing skirts, revealing their weapons while Goofynina, Romona, KitKatz and Paris are romping in porraidge!!  In the meantime, I have used up all of Ken's credit line--oh yeah, Princess Angela picked out a tiara, too.    Lady Kitkatz wants chocolate and lots of it.  Romona is busy sewing kilts and thingys to keep weapons from chaffing.  Doesn't that all make perfect sense?     :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;   

 :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;
,
Thank goodness none of us are famous. If the tabloids got a hold of this we'd be chased by the paparozzi. I guess I will have rethink my bid for a Senate seat.  :pics;
This has all the makings of a juicy scandal.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 16, 2007, 02:17:02 PM
The fight takes place tonight. :yahoo; The report of the action will apear on this thread later today or tomorrow.
WATCH THIS SPACE!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on September 16, 2007, 02:23:49 PM
I have acquired a large spoon!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on September 16, 2007, 02:36:20 PM
The fight takes place tonight. :yahoo; The report of the action will apear on this thread later today or tomorrow.
WATCH THIS SPACE!

If you would like your ad to appear during the mischief and mayhem please call: 555- OATS.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on September 16, 2007, 02:58:32 PM
Will you be using Quaker quick oats or steel cut oats?  It makes a difference in the complexion and texture which ones you use..
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: goofynina on September 16, 2007, 03:01:11 PM
I am sorry all but unless we switch to Cream of Wheat, you can count me out,,, I WANT CREAM OF WHEAT  :2thumbsup;  and i wont even need a spoon  :o
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on September 16, 2007, 03:24:04 PM
Blaaaa- cream of wheat?? Yuck!  Has anyone given thought to chocolate pudding ---no, no,  just one huge hot fudge sundae!?  That should satisfy cravings and fantasies! :2thumbsup;     (When you all finally meet me, you will have a hard time thinking I am the one who made these posts)   At least the fudge might hide a few of my problem areas!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on September 16, 2007, 04:22:15 PM
No, no not cream of wheat, too high in phophorous. It has to be Malt O meal or nothing!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 17, 2007, 01:51:04 AM
No, no not cream of wheat, too high in phophorous. It has to be Malt O meal or nothing!

 ???Now come on ladies it's porridge, the pit has already been filled. I know it's high in phosphate but you're wrestling in it not eating it!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on September 17, 2007, 04:28:40 AM
What are we going to do with the lack of participation? Shall we take them straight to the dungeon and hold them captive? Lord Schelmerdine please advise and I shall carry out at your direction accordingly.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 17, 2007, 05:01:30 AM
What are we going to do with the lack of participation? Shall we take them straight to the dungeon and hold them captive? Lord Schelmerdine please advise and I shall carry out at your direction accordingly.

Sluff
They'll participate just you wait and see. But lets take them to the dungeon anyway. :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 17, 2007, 05:06:43 AM
Well the big night ladies and gentleman has finally arrived.

Welcome to the Royal Albert Hall for the
LADIES OF THE COURT OF KENNETH PORRIDGE FIGHTING CHAMPIONSHIPS

 :popcorn;  :clap;

Due to a high demand for tickets for this event the venue had to be changed as the main hall at the Tower was deemed unsuitable.

The ladies are all showered (Sluff’s having to go for a lie down) and are proceeding towards the porridge pit and the contestants are.

THE DAMN DAME DUCHESS GOOFYNINA------ No stranger to the porridge circuit and current world champion.

LADY PARIS OF NEAR VICTORIA STATION------Spendthrift (out for what she can get.)

LADY ROMONA -----as above but likes football so that’s OK

LADY KITKATZ-----Chocolate bar freak.

PRINCESS ANGELA THE CONFUSED.-----Sweet and innocent (lovely name)

LADY GRAMMA-----attends the court occasionally but a formidable opponent.

LADY BAJANNE------Loyal subject (good left hook)

LADY KICKSTART----UK contestant

LADY ANNA -------Buys her draws from M&S

It’s a full house here at this historic arena which is the Royal Albert Hall.. The opening ceremony of the national anthem sung to the tune of ‘I May be a Quaker but I do Like my Oats.’ has been sung and the crowd eagerly await the action to come. Adjudicators Viscount Sluff and Lord Kenneth looking resplendent in their kilts look at their watches and….the whistle blows and their off.

The Damn Dame is first into the porridge followed by Ladies Gramma and Anna. Lady Paris gingerly tests the porridge with her big toe and…..oh….oh…..Lady Romona has crept up behind her and shoulder charged her in and then she plunges in after her. Well….Lady Paris looks furious and lunges at Lady Romona in sheer anger! But Romona is ready for her and neatly gets Paris in a headlock. The Damn Dame and Ladies Gramma and Anna meanwhile are just moodily slopping about in the porridge circling one another each waiting for the first move. But the action’s all happening between Paris and Romona and……wait a minute…..yes …Paris has turned the tables and Romona’s out cold. It seems that Paris had cleverly concealed her purse which was full of silver and gold trinkets bought from Harrods and the weight of it when Paris hit her over the head with it knocked her out cold.

Meanwhile, the Damn Dame has made her first move with a double drop kick on Lady Gramma and the force of it has taken Anna out as well. And now all the contestants have taken to the porridge ….and its mayhem, the crowd are going wild. Lady Kitkatz does a forearm smash on Lady Bajanne who just can’t seem to get in her famous left hook with any effect and Kickstart starts with a kick at nobody in particular  Oh….it’s stepped up another gear, can’t tell what’s going on, there’s arms and legs heads feet butts and boobs everywhere! It’s ferocious, it’s electrifying 
There’s porridge everywhere Sluff and Ken on the front row are covered in it.
The crowd are going wild.  :yahoo; :yahoo; :yahoo;

And now, only now, as the porridge mist clears I can see only the Damn Dame and Princess Angela. All the other contestants have thrown in the towel, too exhausted to continue.

The noise has died down to barely a murmur as the two remaining contestants slowly and cautiously eye each other up and down. The world champion is glaring malevolently at her opponent while Princess Angela although confused smiles at the audience sweet and innocently. Surely she can be no match for the Damn Dame who although to those who know her has a heart of gold will show no mercy to any god damn upstart son of a bitch princess.

You can now hear a pin drop

And then suddenly the final confrontation begins. Straight away the Damn Dame lands three well aimed forearm smashes to the midriff of Princess Angela who instantly doubles up in agony. Then a scissor kick followed by more smashes. There’s no way the princess can withstand such an onslaught, the crowd are on their feet, but the poor princess is being annihilated by the Damn Dame. Princess Angela is so dazed and confused she can only sum up the energy to hurl a handful of porridge into the by now jubilant face of Goofynina. But wait….oh this is astonishing…. The Damn Dame is temporarily blinded by the porridge and is rubbing her eyes furiously. And the princess having regained some energy seizes the opportunity and is now reigning blow after blow to the head and body of the world champion. Can this really be happening, Goofynina is staggering around the porridge pit she’s completely disorientated? She’s powerless against the Princess’s attack. Goofynina turns to her corner where her support team seem to handing bulky looking object to her can’t tell quite what it is but …..oh .. I can’t believe it…. She’s just hurled a Baxter Cycler at the princess and the princess is down, she’ll never recover in time, her support team are dragging her out of the porridge, she’s not unconscious but she’s definitely out of it and the world champion retains her title. The Damn Dame cavorts round the pit with arms held high. But wait….there’s some activity taking place between the two adjudicators……..

And The Damn Dame Duchess Goofynina has been DISQUALIFIED for foul play, she remonstrates frantically with Sluff who has the rule-book in his hand and is having none of it. She storms off angrily to the showers muttering words referring to castration and Sluff.

The world champion is defeated and the new champion is
PRINCESS ANGELA (lovely name) the CONFUSED :yahoo; :yahoo; :yahoo; :yahoo;

The Princess is sufficiently recovered to enable her to step forward to receive the golden porridge bowl and a ticket for dinner with Lord Kenneth  and Viscount Sluff at a porridge restaurant of her choice. (Sluff’s paying of course)

And so it’s goodnight from the Royal Albert Hall as the audience whoop and cheer for the new champion. ( que; fade to commercial break and next programme. 
 
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on September 17, 2007, 05:51:42 AM
 :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; I have just recieved a scroll from the Dam Dame requesting a rematch with PRINCESS ANGELA (lovely name) the CONFUSED !!

Advise me as to what I should do. The Dam Dame goofynina is in a foul mood.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on September 17, 2007, 06:17:47 AM
Hey, how did I turn out to be a bad Lady??    Lady Romona wanted a new wardrobe too.  (Can you hear me whining?)   Remember, I am a loyal subject--I think I got a bum deal!  Maybe we do need a revolution :rofl;  I am beginning to understand why people fled to the colonies.         :secret; Ladies, shall we unite?     Gentleman, what say you? Your Ladies in Waiting want respect and dignity!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 17, 2007, 07:16:18 AM
:rofl; :rofl; :rofl; I have just recieved a scroll from the Dam Dame requesting a rematch with PRINCESS ANGELA (lovely name) the CONFUSED !!

Advise me as to what I should do. The Dam Dame goofynina is in a foul mood.

Be firm Sluff tell her she'll have to wait till next year cause I'm too exhausted from all that typing! ;D
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 17, 2007, 07:21:18 AM
Hey, how did I turn out to be a bad Lady??    Lady Romona wanted a new wardrobe too.  (Can you hear me whining?)   Remember, I am a loyal subject--I think I got a bum deal!  Maybe we do need a revolution :rofl;  I am beginning to understand why people fled to the colonies.         :secret; Ladies, shall we unite?     Gentleman, what say you? Your Ladies in Waiting want respect and dignity!

Sorry I gave you some bad press Paris but you did spend all my doe. But please no more talk of revolution
you are all respected and noble ladies of the court. Me and Sluff enjoyed the porridge by the way.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on September 17, 2007, 07:35:50 AM
Hmmmmmm----me thinks it is time for the duel--men in skirts, that's what we want!!! :clap;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 17, 2007, 07:46:37 AM
Hmmmmmm----me thinks it is time for the duel--men in skirts, that's what we want!!! :clap;

Oh not again. How about we just wear skirts?........and camisole tops
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: goofynina on September 17, 2007, 08:54:18 AM
BRAVO KEN  :clap; :clap; BRAVO  :clap; :clap; :clap;   That was awesome, i laughed all the way through and then.........WTF?? Oh hell no, you did not take away my title, BEWARE PRINCESS ANGELA, I will get my title back and i will do anything, ANYTHING I SAY to get it back.   >:(  >:(   You have been warned  8)  :boxing; :boxing;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on September 17, 2007, 09:06:00 AM
BRAVO KEN  :clap; :clap; BRAVO  :clap; :clap; :clap;   That was awesome, i laughed all the way through and then.........WTF?? Oh hell no, you did not take away my title, BEWARE PRINCESS ANGELA, I will get my title back and i will do anything, ANYTHING I SAY to get it back.   >:(  >:(   You have been warned  8)  :boxing; :boxing;

Anything?
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on September 17, 2007, 09:31:54 AM
Lord and Master Kinky Ken, that was a lovely report of the porridge romp.  You must be exhausted from all that reporting.   (Can you tell that I am trying to get back in good graces with Ken?)     I have been telling my daughter, Beth (she'll be in Vegas) about our kingdom.  I read posts out loud to her and we both are in hysterics.  She is a theater geek, so she loves all our drama.  Two nights ago she had a dream about all of us---maybe I am talking about it too much!! 


And about the duel----how about the kind with horses and long spears or whatever they are called.  Horses, sweaty men and someone being spreared--now that sounds like fun.    Maybe out at Windsor Castle, since we have trashed the Tower of London with the porridge fest.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on September 17, 2007, 01:33:08 PM
Even negative publicity is publicity. Miss Paris and I have been asked to host a new reality show. It is called "Men In Skirts and the Women Who Love Them". It will feature men who think they are Royality and the women who put them in their place. Sort of a Nanny911. Of course there is a Dame that gives these guys a run for their money. There is also a "princess" to put a twist in the plot. I'm not sure when it will air, but I told them not on Tuesdays because I have "bowling".  :bandance;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: thegrammalady on September 17, 2007, 01:56:58 PM
can a tired, if not sticky lady just get a cup of tea and a bit of port   :wine;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: goofynina on September 17, 2007, 02:22:07 PM
can a tired, if not sticky lady just get a cup of tea and a bit of port   :wine;

HELL NO!!!  Especially after the little remark you made about the Raider/Bronco game  :thumbdown;  But we wont discuss that topic here now will we??  >:(  ;D  But i guess i can feed you some crumbs and a sip of water, if i must, you know, i am the Queen and i really dont have to do it but out of the kindness of my heart i am going to bend this ONCE, so dont get used to it, you, you, Bronco fan you.... ;) ;)

 :secret; of course you can have tea and a bit of port, i need to play the role ya know  :thumbup;  i luvz ya grammalady
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: thegrammalady on September 17, 2007, 02:40:38 PM
now be nice.......the tower has a history of lost heads.........
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: goofynina on September 17, 2007, 02:42:09 PM
now be nice.......the tower has a history of lost heads.........

and who do you think ordered those heads?? Muahahahahahahaaaa  >:D
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on September 17, 2007, 03:49:57 PM
now be nice.......the tower has a history of lost heads.........

and who do you think ordered those heads?? Muahahahahahahaaaa  >:D

geeezzz you are scaring me dam dame!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: thegrammalady on September 17, 2007, 03:54:54 PM
now be nice.......the tower has a history of lost heads.........

and who do you think ordered those heads?? Muahahahahahahaaaa  >:D

geeezzz you are scaring me dam dame!

you're scared,  you....... i expect you and ken to protect me, kilts and all and of course provide tea
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: okarol on September 17, 2007, 04:22:35 PM
 :lol;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: glitter on September 17, 2007, 05:13:55 PM
Oh MY Gosh!!!!!!!!!! I just read this thread for the first time!! I haven't laughed this hard in ages and ages- you crazy people crack me up !!!! and 'Back boobs' and all are shaking!!! LOL


 :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on September 17, 2007, 05:33:00 PM
Glitter, welcome to our royal family!  I think from all the inbreeding, we are all a little batty!  But we are having such a good time.  I am sure many don't read this thread because they aren't British on dialysis----but it hasn't stopped some of us.  Be good to Damn Dame Goofynina--she rules!   (of course, we let sexy Sluff and kinky Ken thing they do) 

Okarol , LOVE the cartoon :rofl;

Romona, I think the reality show is a marvelous idea!  Thanks for letting me co-host.  You will be the cute perky one, I'll be the not perky one (remember the melon issue?).   I think it should show right before "MEN IN TREES".  That would tie in nicely.  Or maybe--"Men in skirts in trees" :rofl;   We will be on the ground reporting! :thumbup;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on September 17, 2007, 06:45:11 PM
At least someone will get us a new waredrobe!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on September 17, 2007, 07:33:27 PM
Could someone please get grammalady her tea and crumpets?  Where is the cook, butler, someone who can get the silver tea set and serve this tired, sticky woman her tea?!  In the meantime, grammalady, have one of these  :wine;  You just can't get good help in these drafty old castles.  Heads are going to roll!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 18, 2007, 02:30:06 AM
Lord and Master Kinky Ken, that was a lovely report of the porridge romp.  You must be exhausted from all that reporting.   (Can you tell that I am trying to get back in good graces with Ken?)     I have been telling my daughter, Beth (she'll be in Vegas) about our kingdom.  I read posts out loud to her and we both are in hysterics.  She is a theater geek, so she loves all our drama.  Two nights ago she had a dream about all of us---maybe I am talking about it too much!! 


And about the duel----how about the kind with horses and long spears or whatever they are called.  Horses, sweaty men and someone being spreared--now that sounds like fun.    Maybe out at Windsor Castle, since we have trashed the Tower of London with the porridge fest.

For your kind compliment above I forgive thee for my current status of bankruptsy.  :bow;

Lady Paris regarding the  ;D duel. Problem is is that there aren't enough men posting to this thread for this kind of contest and besides your talking about spears and stuff. Spears can hurt, spill blood....MY BLOOD!!!! Besides me and the Mighty Weaponed one will need some kilnd of protection for the contents of our kilts!

Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 18, 2007, 02:35:02 AM
now be nice.......the tower has a history of lost heads.........

and who do you think ordered those heads?? Muahahahahahahaaaa  >:D

geeezzz you are scaring me dam dame!

you're scared,  you....... i expect you and ken to protect me, kilts and all and of course provide tea
We'll protect you but you've got to stop drinking all that tea. Jeeeez the gas!!! ;)
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 18, 2007, 02:44:26 AM
Viscount Sluff...did you hear that...did the Damn Dame just call herself...QUEEN???????

Methinks some of our ladies getteth ideas above their stations. I say they be thrown into  the dungeons where they will be forced to dresseth in leather attire, shackle us in chains and beat us incessantly with Rhino Whips......There ladies,...now let that be a lesson to you all!!!! 
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on September 18, 2007, 04:36:33 AM
Quote
For your kind compliment above I forgive thee for my current status of bankruptsy. :bow;

Lady Paris regarding the ;D duel. Problem is is that there aren't enough men posting to this thread for this kind of contest and besides your talking about spears and stuff. Spears can hurt, spill blood....MY BLOOD!!!! Besides me and the Mighty Weaponed one will need some kilnd of protection for the contents of our kilts!

Ooohhhhhhhhhhh pleeaasee..........Ken you are so dramatic. We'll bring pints with us (of blood). We'll tranfuse you and you'll be good as new.
As far as the leather, that is what I wear everyday. I'll pick my outfit up from the cleaners on my back from church.  >:D



EDITED: Fixed quote error - Sluff/ Admin
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 18, 2007, 05:28:55 AM
Quote
For your kind compliment above I forgive thee for my current status of bankruptsy. :bow;

Lady Paris regarding the ;D duel. Problem is is that there aren't enough men posting to this thread for this kind of contest and besides your talking about spears and stuff. Spears can hurt, spill blood....MY BLOOD!!!! Besides me and the Mighty Weaponed one will need some kilnd of protection for the contents of our kilts!

Ooohhhhhhhhhhh pleeaasee..........Ken you are so dramatic. We'll bring pints with us (of blood). We'll tranfuse you and you'll be good as new.
As far as the leather, that is what I wear everyday. I'll pick my outfit up from the cleaners on my back from church.  >:D



EDITED: Fixed quote error - Sluff/ Admin

Don't forget the whip!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on September 18, 2007, 06:13:43 AM
It is so nice to wake up in this kingdom :2thumbsup;  Leather?  Ahh man, I really don't look good in leather.  Although black is slimming :yahoo;  Two men with a royal court of only females---why should these men complain about anything?  They should be very protective of these lovely ladies and be thrilled to be surrounded by such grace and beauty :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on September 18, 2007, 09:39:21 AM
I can't remember what I did with my whips. I think I lent them to someone.  ???
It was Paris, Goofynina......................... I remember Sluff borrowed them for his weekend of frolic.
Sluff can I have them back?  :D
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on September 18, 2007, 09:49:10 AM
What exactly did Sir Sluff do on his weekend of frolic?? I don't think he ever told us.  Frolic sounds like a whole lot more fun than anything I ever do :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Hawkeye on September 18, 2007, 10:25:23 AM
Lady Paris regarding the  ;D duel. Problem is is that there aren't enough men posting to this thread for this kind of contest and besides your talking about spears and stuff. Spears can hurt, spill blood....MY BLOOD!!!! Besides me and the Mighty Weaponed one will need some kilnd of protection for the contents of our kilts!

I love to read it, but there is no way I want to get caught up in this thread.  You all are :urcrazy;.  :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on September 18, 2007, 11:31:46 AM
Hawkeye, come on in and join the fun (madness).  I don't know how this thread took a wrong turn, but we definately are wayyyyyyy off topic!  :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: goofynina on September 18, 2007, 01:35:23 PM
HEAR YE HEAR YE.....  The Damn Dame has returned from a brief "hiatus" if you will :)  Thus my eyes deceive me?  How could this have happend?  How did the men flip the royal script and get the ladies in porridge (which i am still digging out of my nooks and crannies) :P  No No No,  this must not go on any longer!!!  LADIES, we are losing control, we have these men out numbered, i believe we can overtake them and MAKE them beg for mercy  :bow; :bow;  I dont know about you all but i wouldnt mind seeing the men in a french maids outfit and serving us tea and being our servants for a month, ooooooh, sha sha la laaa ;) ;) 
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on September 18, 2007, 01:48:37 PM
That would make grammalady happy!  The visual is already making me laugh!  They keep getting out of dueling or wearing kilts.  Now could be the time to revolt :usaflag;      :secret; don't tell Ken!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 18, 2007, 02:12:55 PM
What exactly did Sir Sluff do on his weekend of frolic?? I don't think he ever told us.  Frolic sounds like a whole lot more fun than anything I ever do :rofl;

Don't answer that Viscount. It's not a question that a lady should be asking a gentleman.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on September 18, 2007, 02:15:11 PM
Count Von Hawkeye, Please help stop this madness! What size kilt do you need?  :waving;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 18, 2007, 02:20:40 PM
Hawkeye, come on in and join the fun (madness).  I don't know how this thread took a wrong turn, but we definately are wayyyyyyy off topic!  :rofl;

It started when  Stauphenburg asked to be an honorary Brit and when I gave him a title you all wanted one.
Then there was a threatened revolt from the ladies but the Mighty Weaponed One and I turned the tables which resulted in the porridge fight.

 Now I sense treachery again. We need to recruit more knights to this thread.

French Maids outfits you say........mmmmmmmmm  
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 18, 2007, 02:23:52 PM
Where is the new world champion Princess Angela (lovely name) the Confused.

She needs to come and claim her night out with Sluff and me.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: thegrammalady on September 18, 2007, 02:35:48 PM
Quote
We'll protect you but you've got to stop drinking all that tea. Jeeeez the gas!!! ;)


you could probably get me to give up the tea, but the port NEVER, besides you're missing the whole point, it's not just "the tea" it's everything else, witness the following:

A F T E R N O O N T E A A T
T H E B R O W N P A L A C E H O T E L
Luncheon Tea, Afternoon Tea,
Monday - Friday 12:00pm – 2:00pm Monday – Sunday 12:00pm – 4:00pm
THE BROWN’S TEA $24.00
A Pot of Properly Brewed English Tea Accompanied By Scones Served
with Devonshire Cream and Preserves, Savory Tea Sandwiches and A
Delightful Array of Classic Tea Pastries
CHOCOLATE SENSATION $26.00
A Pot of Properly Brewed English Tea Accompanied By A
Luxurious Selection of Chocolate Pastries and Savory Tea Sandwiches
with Scones and Devonshire Cream
ROYALE PALACE TEA $29.00
A Pot of Properly Brewed English Tea Accompanied By Scones with
Devonshire Cream and Strawberry Preserves, Savory Tea Sandwiches, A
Delightful Array of Classic Tea Pastries and The Brown’s Kir Royale


EDITED: Fixed Quote Error - Sluff/ Admin


Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on September 18, 2007, 02:37:00 PM
What???? ??? ???
I don't think I heard you right. My ears must be still full of prorridge.
I am not invited? After I loving hand stitched your lovely kilt, loin cloth and various items to protect your vital areas???  :'( :'(
Paris can you believe this?

Count Hawkeye rescue me!! Or I'll settle for the Rimbo Brothers! :bandance;


And get Grammalady tea ASAP!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 18, 2007, 02:38:33 PM
Oh MY Gosh!!!!!!!!!! I just read this thread for the first time!! I haven't laughed this hard in ages and ages- you crazy people crack me up !!!! and 'Back boobs' and all are shaking!!! LOL


 :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;

Come on there Glitter, join in. There's a title in in for you and if you behave with loyalty and no treachery there may even be a tiara for you.  :bandance;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on September 18, 2007, 03:01:14 PM
Don't fall for it Glitter, he will just break your heart.  :'( :'(
All you'll do is give and give and he'll break promises.
He's broke. He is just like Rhett Butler.
And you don't want to be around his "wind".
Now Sir Sluff is trust worthy, he is happy and frolics.  :bandance; :bandance;


Beware of the man that says "Come here, I'll give you a tiara." Sounds like a pick up line for Vegas.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on September 18, 2007, 03:06:48 PM
 :bandance; :bandance;
Happy viscount has held on tight to his reputation, Romona I will take you under my wing and I will get you a credit card for Harrods. You can spend up to $ 1000.00 for your loyalty. The only stipulation is you must fashion what you purchase. Then you can join me for a weekend of frolic.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on September 18, 2007, 04:01:21 PM
REMATCH! REMATCH!  I want a REMATCH!  Only the rematch I want is with the credits cards and Harrods. 

Lady Kitkatz Of Chocolatedom wants a rematch. Slipping in sticky oatmeal was no way to go down in the Fight of the Century!  Next time let's wrestle in chocolate!

Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: thegrammalady on September 18, 2007, 04:41:47 PM
and i won't participate this time, but sit on the sidlines in a lawn chair with the chocolate tea from the brown palace (or british equivalent)
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on September 18, 2007, 05:05:47 PM
Romona, how dare Kinky Ken treat you with such disrespect!  I thought all Englishmen were gentlemen!  I am simply dumbfounded!!!!     And Sluff-- you're picking one Lady over all the others??  You men really do want to start a revolution(sounds like a good Beatle song!).. Ahhh, the Beatles now those were/are some fine Englishmen! :yahoo;   
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on September 18, 2007, 06:09:21 PM
I'm not picking one lady over the other, she was the only choice I had, now if any other lady would like the same treatment then ye must apply.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on September 18, 2007, 08:34:02 PM
:bandance; :bandance;
Happy viscount has held on tight to his reputation, Romona I will take you under my wing and I will get you a credit card for Harrods. You can spend up to $ 1000.00 for your loyalty. The only stipulation is you must fashion what you purchase. Then you can join me for a weekend of frolic.

 :2thumbsup;
Ok, just return my whips!
Romona, how dare Kinky Ken treat you with such disrespect! I thought all Englishmen were gentlemen! I am simply dumbfounded!!!! And Sluff-- you're picking one Lady over all the others?? You men really do want to start a revolution(sounds like a good Beatle song!).. Ahhh, the Beatles now those were/are some fine Englishmen! :yahoo;

I know dear Paris the man is a scondrel.
 :o

I'm not picking one lady over the other, she was the only choice I had, now if any other lady would like the same treatment then ye must apply.

Hey, you make it sound like the last man picked for the baseball game. You know "I guess we'll take him".
 :(
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 19, 2007, 02:00:52 AM
What???? ??? ???
I don't think I heard you right. My ears must be still full of prorridge.
I am not invited? After I loving hand stitched your lovely kilt, loin cloth and various items to protect your vital areas???  :'( :'(
Paris can you believe this?

Count Hawkeye rescue me!! Or I'll settle for the Rimbo Brothers! :bandance;


And get Grammalady tea ASAP!

Romona how unforgivably remiss of me. How could I ignore such a loyal servant of the court. Of course you're invited and you can have the Viscounts credit cards too. :bow; :bow;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 19, 2007, 02:10:15 AM
Quote
We'll protect you but you've got to stop drinking all that tea. Jeeeez the gas!!! ;)


you could probably get me to give up the tea, but the port NEVER, besides you're missing the whole point, it's not just "the tea" it's everything else, witness the following:

A F T E R N O O N T E A A T
T H E B R O W N P A L A C E H O T E L
Luncheon Tea, Afternoon Tea,
Monday - Friday 12:00pm – 2:00pm Monday – Sunday 12:00pm – 4:00pm
THE BROWN’S TEA $24.00
A Pot of Properly Brewed English Tea Accompanied By Scones Served
with Devonshire Cream and Preserves, Savory Tea Sandwiches and A
Delightful Array of Classic Tea Pastries
CHOCOLATE SENSATION $26.00
A Pot of Properly Brewed English Tea Accompanied By A
Luxurious Selection of Chocolate Pastries and Savory Tea Sandwiches
with Scones and Devonshire Cream
ROYALE PALACE TEA $29.00
A Pot of Properly Brewed English Tea Accompanied By Scones with
Devonshire Cream and Strawberry Preserves, Savory Tea Sandwiches, A
Delightful Array of Classic Tea Pastries and The Brown’s Kir Royale


EDITED: Fixed Quote Error - Sluff/ Admin




:2thumbsup; Ah Lady Gramma it's high tea you are refering to.That's a fantastic mouth-watering menu and you could help yourself to anything there if only Lady Paris would pay something back of what she ows me.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 19, 2007, 02:13:17 AM
Don't fall for it Glitter, he will just break your heart.  :'( :'(
All you'll do is give and give and he'll break promises.
He's broke. He is just like Rhett Butler.
And you don't want to be around his "wind".
Now Sir Sluff is trust worthy, he is happy and frolics.  :bandance; :bandance;


Beware of the man that says "Come here, I'll give you a tiara." Sounds like a pick up line for Vegas.

 :'( :'( :'( Oh infamy infamy they've all got it in for me.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on September 19, 2007, 03:45:13 AM
All Ladies interested in shopping at Harrods see me in the dungeon at sundown Friday and we can frolic for the weekend. I will make a decision Sunday evening as to who gets a $1000.00 credit card to shop at Harrods. Use your imagination as best as you can while we frolic, may the best lady win.

Romona will help in the judging.

Sign up and be prepared to serve me whip and beat me into submission if necessary, and prepare only the best meals and desserts.

Hint: (I love strawberry's and whipped creme, yes !!)

Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Bajanne on September 19, 2007, 06:47:48 AM
As one actually BORN under the Union Jack :ukflag;, as a subject of the British Empire who sang "God Save The Queen" until age 16, whose grammar school was called "Queen's College, and who is presently a member of the British Commonwealth, I MUST PROTEST!  I should have had first dibs on Harrods (and I have been there) and the credit card.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Hawkeye on September 19, 2007, 07:04:45 AM
Count Von Hawkeye, Please help stop this madness! What size kilt do you need?  :waving;

So everyone is giving away titles now, and how would dressing me in a kilt help stop this madness?  Though I have to say my wife has been teasing me for a few years now that she was going to get me one.  Since I opened my big mouth and posted in this crazy world I guess I am stuck now.  If I am to be a Count I think a monocle will be in order to complete the look.  I don't know why but I have always thought of Counts having monocles unless they are of the Dracula variety.  Too many cheesy movies I guess.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 19, 2007, 07:14:26 AM
Count Von Hawkeye, Please help stop this madness! What size kilt do you need?  :waving;

So everyone is giving away titles now, and how would dressing me in a kilt help stop this madness?  Though I have to say my wife has been teasing me for a few years now that she was going to get me one.  Since I opened my big mouth and posted in this crazy world I guess I am stuck now.  If I am to be a Count I think a monocle will be in order to complete the look.  I don't know why but I have always thought of Counts having monocles unless they are of the Dracula variety.  Too many cheesy movies I guess.

 :2thumbsup; Welcome to the court Count Hawkeye the Monacled One. We need all the men we can get to guard ourselves from those who plainly plotteth  against us. But the ladies concerned are to be taught a lesson in the Tower dungeons where they will be forced to whip and torture us until they submit to defeat.  :yahoo; :yahoo;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Hawkeye on September 19, 2007, 07:25:15 AM
:2thumbsup; Welcome to the court Count Hawkeye the Monacled One. We need all the men we can get to guard ourselves from those who plainly plotteth  against us. But the ladies concerned are to be taught a lesson in the Tower dungeons where they will be forced to whip and torture us until they submit to defeat.  :yahoo; :yahoo;

Sounds like a smashing good time all around.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 19, 2007, 08:03:47 AM
Quote
Sounds like a smashing good time all around.

Send Romona your kilt measurements including any areas needing extra material. :rofl;




EDITED:  Fixed quote error - Goofynina/Admin.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on September 19, 2007, 09:28:43 AM
Count Von Hawkeye, Please help stop this madness! What size kilt do you need?  :waving;

So everyone is giving away titles now, and how would dressing me in a kilt help stop this madness? Though I have to say my wife has been teasing me for a few years now that she was going to get me one. Since I opened my big mouth and posted in this crazy world I guess I am stuck now. If I am to be a Count I think a monocle will be in order to complete the look. I don't know why but I have always thought of Counts having monocles unless they are of the Dracula variety. Too many cheesy movies I guess.
Dressing in a kilt does nothing to stop this madness. Also taking of your shirt doesn't do much as well, but I like a little eye candy.  :D
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on September 19, 2007, 05:22:51 PM
Things are strangely quiet. Where is Princess Angela the confused, the Countess KitKatz? The Dame. Paris?  ???
The Dutchess Bajanne? Grammalady?

What have you fiends done with them?  :(

Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: goofynina on September 19, 2007, 05:29:34 PM
 :secret; Pssssst, hey, Ramona, it is I, Damn Dame Goofynina,  they have me locked away in the dungeon, round up the possee and get me the hell out of here. 
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on September 19, 2007, 05:52:28 PM
it is I, Damn Dame Goofynina, they have me locked away in the dungeon,


And you seem to be enjoying every minute of it. >:D
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: goofynina on September 19, 2007, 05:58:50 PM
it is I, Damn Dame Goofynina, they have me locked away in the dungeon,


And you seem to be enjoying every minute of it. >:D

RUBBISH!!! RUBBISH I SAY!!!!  *takes cup and bangs bars*  LET ME OUT, LET ME OUT, LET ME OUT!!!!  This is no way to treat the Damn Dame, you just wait until my girls get here, oooooooh, you men are sooooooo in trouble  :boxing; :boxing;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on September 19, 2007, 06:05:43 PM
Here we go again, Paris my Ativan please.  We've got a plane to catch. ;)

The last time Ken picked me up from the airport my luggage mysteriously disappeared.
I am not wearing a mini skirt, stilletos and halter top again.

How can I scale castle walls dressed like that.  8)
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: goofynina on September 19, 2007, 06:16:41 PM
Here we go again, Paris my Ativan please.  We've got a plane to catch. ;)

The last time Ken picked me up from the airport my luggage mysteriously disappeared.
I am not wearing a mini skirt, stilletos and halter top again.

How can I scale castle walls dressed like that.  8)

But Ramona,  dressed like that you can create a diversion and Paris can scale the wall ;) ;)  Please, get me the hell out of here!!!!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on September 19, 2007, 06:19:21 PM
Silly! Silly! Foolish  Dam Dame to think anyone can get through the moat full of alligators, not to mention there is no access to the dungeon from outside. It is underground Ha ha ha!!!  Come and try, you'll never get in.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on September 19, 2007, 06:35:13 PM
Ok , here is the deal---Ken is already giving me such a hard time for shopping too much.  So I have returned EVERY last little thing to Harrods. It was quite humiliating to try to explain why I had to return all the lovely trinkets and such.  How does one defend a Lord and Master who gives and then taketh away?  And now Sluff has Goofynina locked up and Romona and I are suppose to scale a castle wall??   Do you understand I can barely "scale" my stairs?  Oh I forgot--fantasy kingdom! :rofl;       I will find my climbing boots, get some ropes, remind Romona to get there on time---who shall we use for a diversion?    Glitter, yeah that's a good idea.  With a name like Glitter, she will be all sparkly and shiney and can blind the guards while we try to save Goofynina!  And the adventure begins!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on September 19, 2007, 08:08:25 PM
Count Von Hawkeye is fyling us in his private jet.
Can't get my Ativan refilled there is no 24 hour WalGreen's here.
I need a case of wine and a bag of Doritoes.  :wine;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on September 19, 2007, 08:11:46 PM
Damn Dame, I am on my way...Now where am I going?   Oh yes.. to the tower cells of the dungeon. Did I get that right? 
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: goofynina on September 19, 2007, 08:17:48 PM
Yes, but please hurry, i overheard the one they call Sluff tell that old what'chamacallit, Kinky Ken??  That the gators were feasting on a dragon in the west wing and should be there for at least an hour or so, oh please hurry Lady Kitkatz.  I have called for help from Ladies Paris and Ramona but it sounds like they are joyriding in  a private jet with Count Von Hawkeye (ohhhh great, i see they've boosted their Male count by one)  Well, we will have to take Count Von Hawkeye and show him that those guys are up to no good, they like to torture women (not only that, they are wearing french maids uniforms) oooh la laaaaa, that i could get used to ;) ;)
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on September 19, 2007, 08:27:04 PM
The more the merrier... You will be harder to find then the terrorist one on dialysis along the Pakistan border..I will keep the Dam Dame all to myself, may the rest of the ladies reek with jealousy.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on September 19, 2007, 08:31:11 PM
Now that ain't right!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on September 19, 2007, 08:35:13 PM
Dam Dame once wanted to make me a court jester...paybacks are hell aren't they!   :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on September 19, 2007, 09:55:12 PM
Yes, but please hurry, i overheard the one they call Sluff tell that old what'chamacallit, Kinky Ken?? That the gators were feasting on a dragon in the west wing and should be there for at least an hour or so, oh please hurry Lady Kitkatz. I have called for help from Ladies Paris and Ramona but it sounds like they are joyriding in a private jet with Count Von Hawkeye (ohhhh great, i see they've boosted their Male count by one) Well, we will have to take Count Von Hawkeye and show him that those guys are up to no good, they like to torture women (not only that, they are wearing french maids uniforms) oooh la laaaaa, that i could get used to ;) ;)

Good news Duchess Bajanne single handedly captured the alligators and is in France having them made into shoes and matching bags for all of us.
That rascal Ken has filled the moat with imitation chocolate to try and trap the Lady KitKatz (but she can't be fooled).
Hang in there, Paris and I will be late. All that was open was a 7-11. We had to settle for wine in a box and stale pork rinds. Count Von Hawkeye is in jail (something about sports memorabilia). He is so dashingly handsome when he looks at you with his good eye. If it wasn't for that We'd let him rot. We're trying to raise bail.
I think the Grammalady is in a coma, she never got her tea. Update on Princess Angela the Confused, she teamed up with the Rimbo Brothers in Vegas and they are filling in for Siegfried and Roy.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 20, 2007, 01:48:32 AM
Viscount Sluff. You guard the west gate with your mighty weapon and I'll guard the east gate with my big ugly pikestaff.
Make sure the Damn Dame remains in chains.

 Meanwhile I have stood bail  for Count Von Hawkeye with some of the money Lady Romona has refunded me and he rides to the tower as we speak. From now on we must comunicate in the coded language of the greater crested dung beetle for maximum secrecy and total lunacy. Here is a coded message, take note, I shall say this only once:-

$^"{??#  +-(*&^%!.???//##  <$£**\$*""" Act on this immediately and reply to me in the same code. 
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on September 20, 2007, 02:46:59 AM
(*)23&*(%()^%$)_%^Q( :thumbup;)  Thank you Sir!!*(%$)!@#R   :beer1;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 20, 2007, 03:11:39 AM
(*)23&*(%()^%$)_%^Q( :thumbup;)  Thank you Sir!!*(%$)!@#R   :beer1;

Couldn't agree more Viscount. We'll wait til they get here and then we'll *£%":@'~# ,<':[{ 8)  (7%£&"

&*(%£(@>: and even if they :@^<:@$£*())$@??~ we'll :>@*&£::@£"%* as well
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: AlasdairUK on September 20, 2007, 03:12:58 AM
(*)23&*(%()^%$)_%^Q( :thumbup;) Thank you Sir!!*(%$)!@#R :beer1;

Don't give the game away, you should be more careful. You never know who might be watching!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 20, 2007, 03:16:48 AM
(*)23&*(%()^%$)_%^Q( :thumbup;) Thank you Sir!!*(%$)!@#R :beer1;

Don't give the game away, you should be more careful. You never know who might be watching!

We must be so Vigilant. By the way Alasdair do you want a title or have I already given you one? (A title I mean)
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: AlasdairUK on September 20, 2007, 03:27:06 AM
(*)23&*(%()^%$)_%^Q( :thumbup;) Thank you Sir!!*(%$)!@#R :beer1;

Don't give the game away, you should be more careful. You never know who might be watching!

We must be so Vigilant. By the way Alasdair do you want a title or have I already given you one? (A title I mean)

I'm normally refered to as Mister, but on occassions I have been called %^&*("). I'm still waiting for my visit to the Queen for at least a CBE
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on September 20, 2007, 04:11:57 AM
(*)23&*(%()^%$)_%^Q( :thumbup;) Thank you Sir!!*(%$)!@#R :beer1;

Don't give the game away, you should be more careful. You never know who might be watching!

We must be so Vigilant. By the way Alasdair do you want a title or have I already given you one? (A title I mean)


(Gasp!)

We all thought you were dead! You have more lives than a cat. The last I saw you, you had a nasty fall after bungee jumping off of Big Ben! :o
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on September 20, 2007, 06:49:01 AM
I go to bed and wake up to complete havic in the kingdom :rofl;   Sluff and Ken have brought in more men, but they are still outnumbered----so why are they in control?    Count Von Hawkey tried to help our side; of course the only man that wants to help us is in the middle of a huge scandle and probably going to jail (will we have to save him now?).

I have found an old World War I book on secret codes, so I am madly trying to decipher what these men have planned.   So far, I have figured out a lot of swearing and OMG! what they are going to do with Damn Dame Goofynina! (Doesn't sound pretty)

How could Princess Angela leave us for the Rimbo brothers? (never mind, who wouldn't?)

Grammalady, stop drinking the tea and come and help us!  Or maybe it is the port you have had too much of! :rofl;

And as for the French maid uniforms, well I am for anything French! Especially our so called "men" who seem determined to keep us in our "place".
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 20, 2007, 07:35:26 AM

How could Princess Angela leave us for the Rimbo brothers? (never mind, who wouldn't?)


Who the %#8*~ are the Rimbo Brothers? When I find them I'll chop their heads off.....as well
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Hawkeye on September 20, 2007, 07:44:58 AM
Not quite sure who was flying our fair ladies around in his private plane or arrested for a memorabilia scandal but it assuredly was not myself.  I was however arrested for indecent exposure.  It seems the kilt sent to me was toooooo short (thought it looked a little small) and I have been locked away for a bit.  I thank Ken for posting bail as no one else would believe me when I was allowed the use the phone.  I am currently standing outside the castle, but the remote you gave me to lower the drawbridge seems to have run out of batteries and wont work.  Just look out the arrow slots of the tower, I am the one waving below :waving; and cursing the remote.  Oh and since they seem to have figured out the previous code here is a new message for you.  The purple moose flys east on the southwest train.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 20, 2007, 09:09:30 AM
Not quite sure who was flying our fair ladies around in his private plane or arrested for a memorabilia scandal but it assuredly was not myself.  I was however arrested for indecent exposure.  It seems the kilt sent to me was toooooo short (thought it looked a little small) and I have been locked away for a bit.  I thank Ken for posting bail as no one else would believe me when I was allowed the use the phone.  I am currently standing outside the castle, but the remote you gave me to lower the drawbridge seems to have run out of batteries and wont work.  Just look out the arrow slots of the tower, I am the one waving below :waving; and cursing the remote.  Oh and since they seem to have figured out the previous code here is a new message for you.  The purple moose flys east on the southwest train.

The drawbridge is about to be lowered but be alert to those who seek to destroy us who may be hiding in the shadows. If your kilt is too short I have a spare pair of cami-knickers you can use. :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ohio Buckeye on September 20, 2007, 09:36:25 AM
this thread is tooooooooooo hilarious.
better than a good book.
thanks for some good laughs.
Come on Damn Dame get yourself on outa there.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: goofynina on September 20, 2007, 09:45:21 AM
Great news my fair ladies, i have switched places with the one they call Sluff (what the hell is a Sluff anyways) :P  To make a long story short, i invited him in my dungeon to play "spin the bottle" and the blasted fool got so drunk i was able to tie him up (funny thing it seemed like he was quite enjoying it)  ::)  and i was able to escape.  Now, we must crack their "code" and find the others and before long the kingdom will be OURS  :clap;  Please meet me in the library in the west wing of the tower so we can plot against those others fools  :beer1;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on September 20, 2007, 10:35:12 AM
 :rofl; :rofl; Surprise surprise, the dam dame thought I was secure but she did not know I had a hidden key in my knickers, she didn't check there.

Hold on Sir Ken I'm in the hidden tunnel, and I will stop them from entering the Castle and if necessary I will whip out my mighty sword and the heads will roll!!

Here is the new code:  +*_%@@=+&*$&. This code when deciphered by the wrong person will create a might of a blast even more powerful then pop rocks.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Hawkeye on September 20, 2007, 10:37:33 AM
I have to say that the tower is quite lovely. But it is a bit on the drafty side.  As you can see from this short video clip a extremely cold draft blew up under my kilt and caused me quite the start.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Joe Paul on September 20, 2007, 10:40:24 AM
.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Hawkeye on September 20, 2007, 10:44:13 AM
Here is the new code:  +*_%@@=+&*$&. This code when deciphered by the wrong person will create a might of a blast even more powerful the pop rocks.

Sorry to break silence here, but you can't release the Mentos and Coke reaction in the tower Viscount Sluff.  We will all be covered in sticky brown foam from head to toe.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: goofynina on September 20, 2007, 10:44:41 AM
Nothing JoePaul, just having some good ol' British Fun, care to join in?  ::)
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Hawkeye on September 20, 2007, 10:45:18 AM
Just wondering what most of this thread has to do with dialysis.

In the begining everything, now nothing.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on September 20, 2007, 10:45:35 AM
A word of advice for all those on dialysis, do not use the dialysis machines in the castle it seems as though someone has sabotaged them. When we find out who breached our security it will be OFF with the HEADS!!




Is that ok JP?
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: goofynina on September 20, 2007, 10:46:48 AM
*waiting in the west wing*  Where are my ladies at?  I hear footsteps, is it them?  OMG, it's the men, i must hide, they mustn't find me and take me back to that hell hole.  WHERE OH WHERE ARE MY LADIES??  
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Joe Paul on September 20, 2007, 10:47:33 AM
.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on September 20, 2007, 11:12:26 AM
Goofynina, I am trying to climb the $#&*^%@#$ wall! This isn't easy--I think the menfolk have greased the walls :rofl; 

Thanks Sluff for bringing this back to Brits on dialysis :2thumbsup;  We need to do that every so often so we won't be banned.

Please tell me that Joe Paul hasn't gone to the dark side with Sluff and Ken?  Are there no true gentlemen left in this kingdom?
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Joe Paul on September 20, 2007, 11:15:38 AM
.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Hawkeye on September 20, 2007, 12:20:05 PM
Goofynina, I am trying to climb the $#&*^%@#$ wall! This isn't easy--I think the menfolk have greased the walls :rofl;
You are quite correct the ways have been drenched with baby oil.  There is no climbing up them but your skin will be nice and soft.  You may try  :banghead; to gain entrance but I think you may only get a headache.

Please tell me that Joe Paul hasn't gone to the dark side with Sluff and Ken?  Are there no true gentlemen left in this kingdom?

Gentlemen are Gentlemen and Ladies are Ladies.  From reading this thread I deduce that none of us are either.  :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 20, 2007, 01:26:11 PM
I have to say that the tower is quite lovely. But it is a bit on the drafty side.  As you can see from this short video clip a extremely cold draft blew up under my kilt and caused me quite the start.

Count Hawkeye. Great pic. :clap;  I'll always picture you like that now.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 20, 2007, 01:31:49 PM
Just wondering what most of this thread has to do with dialysis.

It's a parallel universe where all the other general public are on dialysis and we ain't. Feeeeeeedom!!!!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 20, 2007, 01:51:57 PM
:rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; OMG can't type this for laughing. We've really gone off the scale now...
Right back to the serious stuff.
Ahem.......Viscount Sluff my most loyal and trusted friend. Stirling work in escaping your bondage.
Alas my friend we face harrowing times. I had hoped we could at least win over the wavering loyalty of Ladies Paris and Romona..... you know.. throw in a tiara or two, maybe give Romona a 3 minute shopping spree in Harrods and Paris 3 hours in the 'Anything for a £ shop.

But their leader the Damn Dame Goofynina is now at large and seeks to rally her cohorts in treason. Let us hope and pray that God and the baby oil are on our side. I resoundingly rejoyseth the we are now one more in number
with the addition of Count Hawkeye to our ranks.

There is one lady of the court whose loyalty shines like a beacon light and whose needs are few. Just plenty of tea, scones and clotted cream. The court thanks you Lady Gramma for the glowing example of loyalty you show, may the scoundrels be ashamed.  :rant;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on September 20, 2007, 01:57:48 PM
*waiting in the west wing*  Where are my ladies at?  I hear footsteps, is it them?  OMG, it's the men, i must hide, they mustn't find me and take me back to that hell hole.  WHERE OH WHERE ARE MY LADIES??  
I finally made it. Never ask for directions from a guy that looks like Benny Hill.
I decifered the code. What in the world does "monkeys dancing in tomatoe juice mean?"
I don't think my "Code Breaking for Dummies Book" is accurate.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on September 20, 2007, 04:17:07 PM
No, it was The bird sings at midnight on the train that finally broke their code. Damn Dame Goofynina and I joined forces outside of the tower today. She jumped a guy holding a remote outside the tower yelling "I shall show you!"  Now she is standing in front of the TVs in Harrod's trying to change channels.  I don't get it.
Anyway cohorts, meet us in the tea room in Harrods and we shall plot the overthrow of Ken S. and HIS cohorts!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on September 20, 2007, 04:36:09 PM
 I am on my way!  First I need to get all this baby oil off-- I think the men had another idea for the baby oil.  :rofl;  I am ready for the plot to thicken--or is that grammaladys clotted cream I am waiting to thicken-------anyway, hold down the fort ( that's not right, that's Texas!)-the point is, I am coming. Grab goofynina and don't let her play with anything else in Harrods. We may have to pay for anything she breaks!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on September 20, 2007, 06:13:24 PM
I have recaptured the Dam Dame goofynina!!  I will not tell anyone where I am keeping her, rest assured she is safe and eating well once again. Punishment for escape is a beheading, the Dam Dame will be spared to hard labor instead. She will be making Chocolate candy bars, sewing spare kilts, and stirring porridge. :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on September 20, 2007, 06:29:52 PM
I am on my way! First I need to get all this baby oil off-- I think the men had another idea for the baby oil. :rofl; I am ready for the plot to thicken--or is that grammaladys clotted cream I am waiting to thicken-------anyway, hold down the fort ( that's not right, that's Texas!)-the point is, I am coming. Grab goofynina and don't let her play with anything else in Harrods. We may have to pay for anything she breaks!

My eyes, my eyes, I have baby oil in my eyes. Paris I have no idea where your "pot of chicken" is? You can hold all the forks you want, I don't know why you want to do that.
Get me some visine.  8)
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on September 20, 2007, 06:46:01 PM
Romona, you are really good at this!  I am laughing too hard to even begin to think what to write :rofl; :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on September 20, 2007, 06:57:44 PM
As soon as the young and innocent Beth joins us, we will know how to get out of this mess!
Now all we need is a screw driver, ball point pen and a pineapple.
Beth can you hear me? Where are you?
Get away from that man, wait that's no man that's Ken.

 ???
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: AlohaBeth on September 20, 2007, 07:15:31 PM
Sorry...  I was catching the newest musical down on the West End...  But I must say, Ken is one great Rum Tum Tugger in Cats!  I couldn't help but get a quick autograph at the stage door...

You know...  Romona...  I don't know, do I have the privileges to join such royal subjects as a lowly commoner?
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on September 20, 2007, 07:31:39 PM
There are no low commoners around here. Gracious Ken of England has granted access to titles to all who want one. You may be Kamehakameha Beth. I have no idea what that means, but it sounds cool doesn't it!   
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: AlohaBeth on September 20, 2007, 07:55:18 PM
Well let's see Kameha means the lonely one in Hawaiian...  soooo... that would be the lonely one squared?  :'( :'( Wow, I sound (and look) pitiful!

You know, Ali'i is royal, or kamali'i is princess.  Or how about leilani, heavenly princess, yeah, I can dig that.   :clap;

If I need to prove my allegiance to the Queen, please remember that Hawaii was once ruled by England.  (oh yeah, by the way, the Hawaiians are ummm, really sorry about Captain Cooks dismemberment...)
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on September 20, 2007, 08:10:37 PM
Don't lie, you know those Hawaiianns are not sorry for dismembering Cook. He probably deserved it anyway!
Okay so Leilani it is! Leilani Beth! Heavenly Pricess Beth.  Now go get your Tiara at Harrod's. 
Now join me in freeing the Damn Dame from the worthless curs who are making her do dastardly things!

Ever onward!  Tally ho! To the tower where she is kept!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 21, 2007, 03:22:33 AM
Don't lie, you know those Hawaiianns are not sorry for dismembering Cook. He probably deserved it anyway!
Okay so Leilani it is! Leilani Beth! Heavenly Pricess Beth.  Now go get your Tiara at Harrod's. 
Now join me in freeing the Damn Dame from the worthless curs who are making her do dastardly things!

Ever onward!  Tally ho! To the tower where she is kept!

 ??? WTF!! Methinks Lady Kitkatz has ideas above her station. :boxing;  See how she doth arrogantly bestow titles. '

TIS I AND ONLY I who bestoweth grand and royal titles.

 Alohabeth please show loyalty to the court and turn away from Lady Kitkatz and your traiter of a mother and her cohorts, and come and claim your proper title.   
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 21, 2007, 05:40:35 AM
I have recaptured the Dam Dame goofynina!!  I will not tell anyone where I am keeping her, rest assured she is safe and eating well once again. Punishment for escape is a beheading, the Dam Dame will be spared to hard labor instead. She will be making Chocolate candy bars, sewing spare kilts, and stirring porridge. :rofl;

Well done Viscount. :clap; During the Damn Dame's brief episode of freedom  I had an ecounter with her in the courtyard. I did freezeth in terror as she slowly advanced. Dresseth as she was in much leatherwear brandishing whip and barb. And then I produced my big ugly pikestaff and she fled in terror forthwith to another part of the castle, where you have bravely recaptured her and she is again incarcerated.

Ladies your leader is captured. Face it, you are defeated. Surrender and take your punishment!! (But don't wash off the baby oil just yet)

Ah the taste of victory is sweet.  :yahoo; :yahoo;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on September 21, 2007, 06:22:11 AM
We can always take back the honorary American citizenship we bestowed upon you, you Brit you!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 21, 2007, 07:04:52 AM
We can always take back the honorary American citizenship we bestowed upon you, you Brit you!

 :usaflag; :usaflag; :usaflag; Well dang me and hot dog diggetty do that's  blackmail on a poor goddam limey!  :o

Will you reconsider if I send more chocolate?
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on September 21, 2007, 11:49:38 AM
Darn it anyway, Dam Dame can not make the chocolate bars at the rate kitkatz eats them.. we must at once take another captive to help...Sir Kenneth which one shall it be?
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on September 21, 2007, 12:51:46 PM
Pick Kitkatz!!     She is the one eating all the chocolate!   I fear you are thinking of Leilani, and I must protest.  She is new here and innocent (so her Mother believes!) and shouldn't be subjected to the ways of men in kilts.   She does like those boys in little loin clothes doing hulas!   Oh that would be a great look for Sexy Sluff and Kinky Ken--maybe even Hawkeye :rofl;  Not Joe Paul, he doesn't seem to accept British who do dialysis. :rofl;      So leave Leilani alone.  She is down at Picadilly Circus looking for half price tickets for shows!     What have you done with Glitter?  I think she may be in grave danger. She didn't arrive at the castle.  Glitter, you doing ok honey?  Don't let the dark side take you!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Hawkeye on September 21, 2007, 01:49:06 PM
I have to say that the tower is quite lovely. But it is a bit on the drafty side.  As you can see from this short video clip a extremely cold draft blew up under my kilt and caused me quite the start.
Count Hawkeye. Great pic. :clap;  I'll always picture you like that now.

To be honest I have no clue what cartoon it came from.  I did a search for Monocle pics and that popped up.  How could I pass such things up that would lead to furthering our fun.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on September 21, 2007, 02:21:23 PM
Alskadair has slipped from our grasp again. I fear he has taken Glitter hostage. He owes a library fine of 28.50, he never returned the code book to the library. Paris we must leave immediately We have to find Glitter. I know that Beth has the instincts of her mother and will take care of our friends while we are gone. We have to think of Glitter and the madman that has her. He is a desperate criminal on the run. If he would just return the book and pay his fine.
I have recaptured the Dam Dame goofynina!!  I will not tell anyone where I am keeping her, rest assured she is safe and eating well once again. Punishment for escape is a beheading, the Dam Dame will be spared to hard labor instead. She will be making Chocolate candy bars, sewing spare kilts, and stirring porridge. :rofl;

Well done Viscount. :clap; During the Damn Dame's brief episode of freedom I had an ecounter with her in the courtyard. I did freezeth in terror as she slowly advanced. Dresseth as she was in much leatherwear brandishing whip and barb. And then I produced my big ugly pikestaff and she fled in terror forthwith to another part of the castle, where you have bravely recaptured her and she is again incarcerated.

Ladies your leader is captured. Face it, you are defeated. Surrender and take your punishment!! (But don't wash off the baby oil just yet)

Ah the taste of victory is sweet. :yahoo; :yahoo;

Please put your pikestaff away, there maybe children reading this.  :o


Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on September 21, 2007, 02:36:28 PM
That's right Ken, put it away!!  Do not subject your fair ladies to anyone's pikestaff! :o

Joe Paul, are you sure you don't want to play in our little kingdom?  You might be the only sane one here!   You know you are enjoying our adventures :rofl;  It is better than therapy for me :thumbup;

Romona, I am on my way. We must save Glitter--I had no idea that Hawkeye was a wanted man. (They all think  they are wanted!)  Start looking for something shiny and sparkling. AlohaBeth has been working in the land of flowers, plants, gift and decor, so she has no idea what danger awaits her when she arrives at her ivy covered cottage. 

Now, what to do about Goofynina?  Is she enjoying her leather and whipping just a little too much??  Goofynina, you must send us a signal if you WANT us to save you.  Or are you having toooooo much fun?  :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: AlohaBeth on September 21, 2007, 04:29:38 PM
The treacherous land-of-men-purchasing-flowers-as-apologies-for-their-horrible-deeds, kept me long today, but alas, I am here, manning my post at the cottage (by the way, all the gals here are demanding men in kilts.  Apparently they are wanted...)  Please don't stay away too long ladies - I fear the natives are getting restless!

Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 22, 2007, 04:01:01 AM
Darn it anyway, Dam Dame can not make the chocolate bars at the rate kitkatz eats them.. we must at once take another captive to help...Sir Kenneth which one shall it be?

Viscount it must be the Lady Kitkatz herself. She slithers up and down the castle wall as we speak. Clap her in irons and strictly ration her supply of chocolate!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 22, 2007, 04:09:21 AM
   What have you done with Glitter?  I think she may be in grave danger. She didn't arrive at the castle.  Glitter, you doing ok honey?  Don't let the dark side take you!

Look no further, for she walks the castle walls on centry duty. She hath pledgeth her allegienth to the Lords not the teacherous ladies. Look up to the west tower. Do you not recognise her in a kilt?
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 22, 2007, 04:15:39 AM
.......

Joe Paul. Sorry it all went off topic but it didn't start that way. I know rules are rules but we all need a bit of fun from time to time don't we?

So saddle your horse and hasten to the tower and join me, Viscount Sluff and Count Von Hawkeye and help us to quell the Ladies' treachery.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Joe Paul on September 22, 2007, 05:04:06 AM
Sorry I interupted this thread.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on September 22, 2007, 06:46:03 AM
I for one, am not a Brit on Dialysis.  Anyone else?  Ok, we are back on topic (for the moment).  We just got to slip that in every so often :rofl;   Sir Sluff, what say you? Are ye or are ye not a Brit on dialysis?

Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on September 22, 2007, 06:55:32 AM
I for one, am not a Brit on Dialysis.  Anyone else?  Ok, we are back on topic (for the moment).  We just got to slip that in every so often :rofl;   Sir Sluff, what say you? Are ye or are ye not a Brit on dialysis?



Only when I'm reading this thread.. :lol;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Joe Paul on September 22, 2007, 07:49:27 AM
I'm sorry I interupted this thread, my humble apologies
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: thegrammalady on September 22, 2007, 08:43:21 AM
ye gads! sorry i've been away, i see the madness waited for me. no tea i'm afraid, i've been battling a mad doctor, running through the dialysis center ( see i can stay on topic) waving a cathater and yelling replacement, replacement, i lost....... now where is that damn dame hiding ? "oh Susie, here Susie, Susie Susie....." (shhhh, we don't want the "kilts" to know i'm really here to save you) tea, did someone say herods tea room ?
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on September 22, 2007, 09:12:33 AM
Love you Joe Paul!  Someone has to keep this group in line! It is good to know that someone has some common sense.  Keep reading the adventures of Brits on dialysis to find out what happens to Goofynina. :2thumbsup;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on September 22, 2007, 07:03:41 PM
Hear ye hear ye there has been a huge meltdown in the kitchen at the castle!! Dam Dame goofynina has been buried in chocolate and needs help as she is stuck in a chocolaty mess. I need a lady volunteer for this civic duty. Do I have any volunteers?
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on September 22, 2007, 07:09:33 PM
Of course I will volunteer. I just need fresh strawberries!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on September 22, 2007, 07:14:28 PM
PSSSSTT.........Paris grab the Count (his kami Knickers are showning again). I'll keep Sluff busy in the chocolate with Goofynina. If you see Lady KitKatz send he to help me, it is chocolate she loves.
Ken must be at dialysis because he is no where to be found.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on September 22, 2007, 07:24:46 PM
Okay gang I now have the Dam Dame goofynina and Romona held captive in the chocolate factory and Lord only knows what they are up to with Willie Wonka. Don't try to be brave because as soon as the Dam Dame is freed from the gooey chocolate mess she has made they will both be taken away to an undisclosed area below ground.  :waving;

Kitkatz you are most welcome to launch your devious attack on attempting to rescue Dam Dame and now Romona but you will find yourself in Chocolate heaven and you will never want to leave.

I'm actually starting to enjoy this. How could I not? 3 ladies and chocolate with strawberries, I demand that Kitkatz bring along the whipped cream.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on September 22, 2007, 07:31:28 PM
Good job, Lady Romona. We must hurry before Ken finishes his British dialysis!  Don't fall for Sir Sluff's  chocolate ploy! He will take you captive, whisk you away to some God forsaken hovel overlooking the white cliffs of Dover and we will never see you again!  
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on September 22, 2007, 07:38:16 PM
You are so right Paris.
We must get to the dialysis center and get Ken a snack. We are not heartless you know.


Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on September 22, 2007, 07:42:50 PM
Good job, Lady Romona. We must hurry before Ken finishes his British dialysis!  Don't fall for Sir Sluff's  chocolate ploy! He will take you captive, whisk you away to some God forsaken hovel overlooking the white cliffs of Dover and we will never see you again! 
But Paris it is chocolate, I love chocolate. Lady Kitkatz introduced me to this fine art. I don't know if I have the will power.
I know we have to help Ken, but it's chocolate.....................
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on September 22, 2007, 07:47:08 PM
Good job, Lady Romona. We must hurry before Ken finishes his British dialysis!  Don't fall for Sir Sluff's  chocolate ploy! He will take you captive, whisk you away to some God forsaken hovel overlooking the white cliffs of Dover and we will never see you again! 
But Paris it is chocolate, I love chocolate. Lady Kitkatz introduced me to this fine art. I don't know if I have the will power.
I know we have to help Ken, but it's chocolate.....................

That's right RICH CHOCOLATE!!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on September 22, 2007, 08:03:37 PM
Paris help, I'm caving. I may go to the rich, chocolately dark side.
And Willie and his Wonka is there.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on September 22, 2007, 08:47:00 PM
Paris help, I'm caving. I may go to the rich, chocolately dark side.
And Willie and his Wonka is there.

All the chocolate you can handle!!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on September 22, 2007, 11:39:42 PM
The DARK side calleth and I must respond.  To the rescue of Damn Dame that is!  Fear not my friends I have not been on sentry duty on yon castle wall. It was        another person disguised to look like me. I have broken into the chocolate and for now am slowly eating my way into and out of this mess!  Onward ladies that have slithered up and over yon walls. The Damn Dame calleth and we must respond!  We shall put these cowardly men curs within their places and in chains and irons before the night is through!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on September 23, 2007, 05:19:03 AM
Just keep eating that chocolate kitkatz cause you are getting sleepy, you are getting sleepy..ha ha ha .. and not too worry if you find a little leafy substance in that chocolate, it will just make you eat more chocolate...ha ha ha


Sir Ken where are you? I need your assistance here.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on September 23, 2007, 06:18:25 AM
Quote
Sir Ken where are you? I need your assistance here.

Ken has come over to our side, where the birds are siniging and life is happy. Drat, leafy stuff in the chocolate.
He will be now known as Kenny. We will battle as soon as the "munchies" are gone.




EDITED: Fixed quote error - Sluff/ Admin
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Joe Paul on September 23, 2007, 06:58:11 AM
All you women munching that chocolate, keep in mind I have broken into the castles pharmacy and have stolen ALL BINDERS. Enjoy the chocolate while you can. Also I have to only patent for back scratchers. Binders and these back scratchers will soon be on sale at naturally inflated prices.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 23, 2007, 08:00:23 AM
Viscount Sluff, Count Von Hawkeye, and Joe Paul? Fear not for I am returned. I had a slight dialysis problem because some treacherous fiend swapped my Dianeal bag as I slept and replaced it with a bag of  chocolate sauce. I had to visit the apothecary who prescribed binders by the hundreds so Joe paul, please let me have the binders you stole from the castle pharmacy.

Also I note that the Damn Dame Goofynina has been very quiet of late. Could it that she has surrendered? My rear quarters are mucheth inflamed from her whip and barb. So I should imagine she has learnt her lesson by now.

I take further note that Princess Angela (lovely name) the Confused has failed to step forward and claim her prize of an evening out with the Viscount and me in the fleshpots  :oops; sorry, night clubs of the London West End followed by a take out from that world famous eatery on Soho Square 'Porridge to Go', maybe she's confused.

If she fails to claim her prize we may have to do the unthinkable.....yes....lift the disqualification of the Damn Dame and reinstate her as Porridge Wrestling World Champion by default. :o :o
 
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on September 23, 2007, 08:06:45 AM
Sure, whatever you say Kenny, now pass me some chocolate, without the leafy stuff this time.


Ladies, some help here........................
It is like you have real lives and have forgotten how to sign on to your computers.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 23, 2007, 08:38:13 AM
Sure, whatever you say Kenny, now pass me some chocolate, without the leafy stuff this time.


Ladies, some help here........................
It is like you have real lives and have forgotten how to sign on to your computers.

 ??? Stop calling me Kenny. My proper tiltle if you please! oooooh the disrespect. :banghead; :banghead;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: thegrammalady on September 23, 2007, 08:54:56 AM
sorry, i've been busy with the overflow chocolate from the kitchen, making chocolate pastries for tea time. tea, tea, loverly tea. chocolate pastries and maybe some cucumber and tomato sandwiches.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Joe Paul on September 23, 2007, 09:10:21 AM
Sir Kenneth, my love of money overwhelms my love for the Kingdom - at this point in time the only thing I can do is give you a Davita Christmas gift bag, which contains a complimentary back scratcher.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 23, 2007, 09:23:04 AM
Sir Kenneth, my love of money overwhelms my love for the Kingdom - at this point in time the only thing I can do is give you a Davita Christmas gift bag, which contains a complimentary back scratcher.

 :thx; A most gracious gift gratefully received. By the way do you want a title?
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Joe Paul on September 23, 2007, 09:24:16 AM
Yes I would, thankyou Sir Kenneth  :thumbup;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 23, 2007, 09:34:18 AM
Yes I would, thankyou Sir Kenneth  :thumbup;

Then arise SIR JOE and join your compatriots in the War on Chocolate. :clap; :clap;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on September 23, 2007, 09:41:41 AM
Welcome Sir Joe to the kingdom. What a great addition!  :bow;

The Ladies are leaving footprints of chocolate every where they go, they are doing a fine job. For the reward  should we take the chocolate away and release them all?
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on September 23, 2007, 11:09:39 AM
Sir Paul! You have decided to come out and play! :yahoo;    Ladies, the menfolk have recruited another sucker---oh I mean another manly man. We must not let their number continue to grow.  Some of our Ladies in Waiting seem to be missing--Glitter, AlohaBeth-it has me a little worried.  Have they gone to the dark chocolate side?   Grammalady, glad you have made the best of a bad situation and are making sweets for high tea (must keep up our  strength).  This is the time we need to unite and forge ahead to save Goofynina from her horrible demise.  Still not sure if she wants to be saved!  Goofynina, send us a signal--you should have something on you to smoke and send smoke signals with :rofl;   
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on September 23, 2007, 11:10:52 AM
Kenny,  I like that!!  Good name choice Romona :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on September 23, 2007, 11:55:28 AM
I have found the Damn Dame and we have joined forces.  We have discovered a leafy substance in the chocolate and are currently sending up smoke signals with it.  I do not understand the weird effects we are getting from it.  It seems Damn Dame is hallucinating and I have the munchies, too.   We simply must go after those  men...  Ohhh I feel pleasant.  Never mind...I think we shall sit here and enjoy this smoke.   If you see the smoke that is where we are in the tower at the present time.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on September 23, 2007, 01:16:14 PM
I have found the Damn Dame and we have joined forces.  We have discovered a leafy substance in the chocolate and are currently sending up smoke signals with it.  I do not understand the weird effects we are getting from it.  It seems Damn Dame is hallucinating and I have the munchies, too.   We simply must go after those  men...  Ohhh I feel pleasant.  Never mind...I think we shall sit here and enjoy this smoke.   If you see the smoke that is where we are in the tower at the present time.


 :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;

Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on September 23, 2007, 01:34:52 PM
Join us Sir Kenny and Sir Sluffy, and Sir Joey or Sir Pauly, we can sit by the fire and sing cumbaya.

We have plenty of chocolate to make smores. Peace, Love, Joy, Feeling Groovy!!!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on September 23, 2007, 01:42:13 PM
Well, apparently Goofynina and Kitkatz have already gotten "a little help from their friends"!  I am not so worried about them now.  I just need to figure out which stupid tower I am suppose to go to. Somebody must be inhaling because I am not seeing any smoke signals!! :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Joe Paul on September 23, 2007, 02:36:22 PM
Welcome Sir Joe to the kingdom. What a great addition!  :bow;

The Ladies are leaving footprints of chocolate every where they go, they are doing a fine job. For the reward  should we take the chocolate away and release them all?
Thankyou Viscount Sluff, and not yet, I have all the Binders needed by the Ladies of the Kingdom. Ive decided this may be a good plan, as the more chocolate they eat, the itchier they will become. Sir Kenneth, I'm turning the Binders over to you dispense them as you see fit, but I suggest waiting to see if the Ladies of the Kingdom surrender from the madness of the itch. Adding the leafy substance to the chocolate was a good idea!!!!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on September 23, 2007, 03:17:05 PM
No itching becasue of the leafy substance we are rapidly smoking. For some reason it mitigates the effect of the itchiness of the chocolate. 

Cum-by-ya! My Lord....

Can we change the song to Little Rabbit Foo Foo?
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: AlohaBeth on September 23, 2007, 03:46:02 PM
Good news my dear ladies, Kitkatz and the Damn Dame Goofynina, I found snack bags of doritos and lots of soda! come back to us ladies -- the chocolate is not good for your complexion!  Come on!  They are cool ranch doritos!!  I also found Dylan and Joni Mitchell albums -- come back to the safe cottage where the other fair madens and I wait for you and are quit prepared for your munchies and need for groovy music...
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Joe Paul on September 23, 2007, 03:55:05 PM
Ah, but the leafy substance Viscount Sluff added is ADDICTING, and only Viscount Sluff has  it. Soon your supply will run out, then either your addiction to the chocolate and the need for binders or more leafy substance will cause you all to be putty in our hands - You cannot win!!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 24, 2007, 03:04:28 AM
Oh what a happy place is the dungeon with chocolate and leafy stuff. oh peace ........love......Let us end this feud and live here happily everafter.
Lady Alohabeth, come and join your mother and the other ladies and abandon your leafy cottage (It's booby trapped anyway) and live in peace and harmony with leafy stuff and chocolate.

Dialysis, Leafy Stuff and Rock 'n Roll.  :yahoo; :yahoo;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on September 24, 2007, 06:45:44 AM
"All you need is love"  "What the world needs now, is love,sweet love"  "I get by with a little help from my friends"  "Imagine all the people..."       Ahhhhhhh. tie dyed t-shirts, love beads, mood rings-----those were the day!!   Peace and love.      Ok, bring on the chocolate--I am starting to feel groovy!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on September 24, 2007, 06:56:17 AM
I'm releasing everyone to enjoy the leafy choclate. This "makes me feel fine" ;musicalnote;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on September 24, 2007, 11:32:15 AM
I think I dated him!!! :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on September 24, 2007, 01:34:12 PM
Let us all join together and fight "Kidney Disease".
I think I dated him!!! :rofl;
:rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;
And I dated his brother! :beer1;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 25, 2007, 04:07:02 AM
Sluff great outfit, funny place for cannabis plants though. ;)

Well I think maybe our little crazy fantasy is at an end. I don't know where else we can take it unless someone can push it in a new storyline direction.i've had great fun with this thread, I think we all have. :2thumbsup; This thread has numbered 23 pages in less than 4 weeks and for a story that's just been made up by everone as we went along is pretty good. Thanks every one I've never laughed so much in ages. Hope you all enjoyed it as mich as I have.

And so my friends our story ends
A tale of daring do
Of porridge fights and spending sprees
And heroes and villains too
Of loyalty and treachery and schemes and plots with chocolate
Kenneth who was Lord and King did treat his subjects kindly
Tiaras castles and anything to keep the people happy
But some with mischief on their minds of great advatage took
They took a trip to Harrods and did from Royal Wallet pluck
The Damn Dame disqualified in shame did organise much turmoil
But Ken and Sluff did do their Stuff with mighty weapons and baby oil
But all is happy now in court hostilities gone forever
For chocolate bars and leafy stuff have brought the court together

Cue- Scenes of mudslide at woodstock where the mud has been digitally altered to look like chocolate
and fade with strains of 'My my We're all Crazy Now'...Roll credits...  cut to comercials and next programme.  :bandance; :bandance; :bandance; :bandance;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on September 25, 2007, 04:41:05 AM
 :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; it's been fun.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on September 25, 2007, 06:07:20 AM
Do I have to give back my tiara?     I haven't laughed this much in ages.  :rofl; Thanks guys for a great time.  Let me know if any of you go on another adventure, because I want to go too!! :yahoo;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on September 25, 2007, 06:13:06 AM
If we can find participaters and can come up with funny story lines similiar to this one I would start a section just for this.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 25, 2007, 06:14:54 AM
Do I have to give back my tiara?     I haven't laughed this much in ages.  :rofl; Thanks guys for a great time.  Let me know if any of you go on another adventure, because I want to go too!! :yahoo;

You can all keep your tiaras but I think I'll have the castle back. :rofl; For the time being the Viscount and me and our comrades have hung up our kilts. :ukflag;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on September 25, 2007, 06:25:25 AM
That was fun. Sir Ken thou dost have a wicked sense of humor! 
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Joe Paul on September 25, 2007, 09:10:41 AM
Do I have to give back my tiara?     I haven't laughed this much in ages.  :rofl; Thanks guys for a great time.  Let me know if any of you go on another adventure, because I want to go too!! :yahoo;

You can all keep your tiaras but I think I'll have the castle back. :rofl; For the time being the Viscount and me and our comrades have hung up our kilts. :ukflag;
Im not hanging up my kilt, I like it too much   O0
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on September 25, 2007, 09:11:46 AM
It's not over. I'm taking Ken to court because my tiara made my hair fall out.  :(
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on September 25, 2007, 10:47:39 AM
Do I have to give back my tiara?     I haven't laughed this much in ages.  :rofl; Thanks guys for a great time.  Let me know if any of you go on another adventure, because I want to go too!! :yahoo;

You can all keep your tiaras but I think I'll have the castle back. :rofl; For the time being the Viscount and me and our comrades have hung up our kilts. :ukflag;
Im not hanging up my kilt, I like it too much   O0

I think i here a revival coming on  :secret; Holy Moly I'm with you JP but can we get Sir Kenneth to join forces once again? and This time lets rally to help those on dialysis!! Yes I'm alive!! I am alive!! Oh sheeeeeit I'm almost out of chocolate.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on September 25, 2007, 11:05:43 AM
If Ken hung up his kilt---well, I am just wondering what he is walking around in? 
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on September 25, 2007, 11:26:21 AM
Good question.. ::)
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Joe Paul on September 25, 2007, 01:13:54 PM
If Ken hung up his kilt---well, I am just wondering what he is walking around in? 
OMG!!!! that cat is out of the bag!! RUN SIR KENNETH!! That tech is aiming awful low thinking its your fistula!!!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on September 25, 2007, 01:15:36 PM
That's no tech, it is Paris about to get revenge for taking away her credit cards. Paris, you go girl!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on September 25, 2007, 01:16:18 PM
AlohaBeth just sent me a lovely gift of chocolates and a green leafy plant in a lovely pot with fleur de lies on it!  Only she could tie in "Lady Paris", chocolates and green leafy stuff!!  I told you she is the best!  She takes good care of her mom.       So, anyone who wants to continue the good mood--come to my place! :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on September 25, 2007, 01:17:37 PM
Sir Kenneth, you should be very worried----I have terrible aim! :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Joe Paul on September 25, 2007, 01:22:50 PM
Here I am in my combat Kilt...why im not hanging it up too
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on September 25, 2007, 01:28:47 PM
 :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on September 25, 2007, 02:31:34 PM
Here I am in my combat Kilt...why im not hanging it up too
OOOOOLALALA!  Joe Paul is on my team!

 :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: thegrammalady on September 25, 2007, 03:40:52 PM
I have found the Damn Dame and we have joined forces.  We have discovered a leafy substance in the chocolate and are currently sending up smoke signals with it.  I do not understand the weird effects we are getting from it.  It seems Damn Dame is hallucinating and I have the munchies, too.   We simply must go after those  men...  Ohhh I feel pleasant.  Never mind...I think we shall sit here and enjoy this smoke.   If you see the smoke that is where we are in the tower at the present time.

i have chocolate tea cakes, funny i'm very very hungry
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on September 25, 2007, 05:30:14 PM
Joe Paul TAG you are it!  No tag backs!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Joe Paul on September 26, 2007, 12:13:40 AM
Ramona, TAG your it (as Kit Kat says no tag back)
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on September 26, 2007, 04:39:15 AM
goofynina TAG your it! (as Kit Kat says no tag back)
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 26, 2007, 06:33:06 AM
It's not over. I'm taking Ken to court because my tiara made my hair fall out.  :(

Get over it Romona, my hair fell out long ago and I don't remember wearing no tiara. ;D
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 26, 2007, 06:35:15 AM
If Ken hung up his kilt---well, I am just wondering what he is walking around in? 

Just my cami-knickers ;D
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 26, 2007, 06:42:36 AM
Here I am in my combat Kilt...why im not hanging it up too

 :2thumbsup; Joe you should have sent that pic during tower battle. The ladies would have surrendered there and then!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on September 26, 2007, 06:45:28 AM
Well if that's all it takes we should all get them..what do you think Ken?
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 26, 2007, 06:47:09 AM
Sir Kenneth, you should be very worried----I have terrible aim! :rofl;

Well you'll need your magnifying glass. Sluff (the Mighty Weaponed One) would be an easier target :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 26, 2007, 06:50:13 AM
Well if that's all it takes we should all get them..what do you think Ken?

Yes lets round them up, find a mad scientist, who will then make them into Stepford Wives. We can have all the leafy chocolate for ourselves then. :rofl; :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on September 26, 2007, 06:52:45 AM
Well if that's all it takes we should all get them..what do you think Ken?

Yes lets round them up, find a mad scientist, who will then make them into Stepford Wives. We can have all the leafy chocolate for ourselves then. :rofl; :rofl;

OUTSTANDING Idea !! I guess that's why we call YOU SIR. 
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on September 26, 2007, 06:57:08 AM
Sir Ken we have lots of applicants that would like to join us.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 26, 2007, 09:22:00 AM
Sir Ken we have lots of applicants that would like to join us.

 :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; Viscount Sluff there's not been any input yet about this from the ladies. Do you think they are all speechless..for once.....oh no, now I really am being silly!




EDITED: Fixed  :rofl; icon error - Sluff/ Admin



Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Joe Paul on September 26, 2007, 11:58:20 AM
Here I am in my combat Kilt...why im not hanging it up too

 :2thumbsup; Joe you should have sent that pic during tower battle. The ladies would have surrendered there and then!
Darnit, always a day late and a dollar short
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on September 26, 2007, 01:19:52 PM
It's not over. I'm taking Ken to court because my tiara made my hair fall out.  :(

Get over it Romona, my hair fell out long ago and I don't remember wearing no tiara. ;D
By now my attorney has contacted your solicitor, I will agree to an out of court settlement of the following:
All the chocolate.
All the green leafy stuff.
And 29 dollars for pain and suffering.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on September 26, 2007, 01:22:52 PM
I don't need an attorney because I have Sir Kenneth on my side so there...take that!  :boxing;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on September 26, 2007, 01:26:06 PM
 :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;
I'll send Paris after you! Are you scared now?
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on September 26, 2007, 01:28:23 PM
:rofl; :rofl; :rofl;
I'll send Paris after you! Are you scared now?

I'm not sure, think maybe I feel a little excited!  :lol;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on September 26, 2007, 03:23:38 PM
:rofl; :rofl; :rofl;
I'll send Paris after you! Are you scared now?

I'm not sure, think maybe I feel a little excited! :lol;
We need back up quick! Girls where are you?
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on September 26, 2007, 07:03:16 PM
Romona, you must join us. We are in a secret location planning our next attack--I mean quilting bee!    I'm thinking it should involve peanut butter!   

Sluff, you should be scared!!

Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on September 27, 2007, 04:09:57 AM
Did you say Peanut Butter? As  long as it is smooth, I'm in.
What's the plan?  :secret;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 27, 2007, 05:29:19 AM
Did you say Peanut Butter? As  long as it is smooth, I'm in.
What's the plan?  :secret;

YUK!!!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on September 27, 2007, 06:31:49 AM

Will there be oreos with the peanut butter?
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: thegrammalady on September 27, 2007, 07:17:19 AM
a day late and a dollar short, again, as usual. maybe i'm just lost and need to find myself. ok, i am lost......anyone seen my marbles.... oreos and ? ? ?  PEANUT BUTTER ? ? ?  really now !
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on September 27, 2007, 08:08:19 AM
No, the left over chocolate with peanut butter!  Think of the possibilities Grammalady!  You will be very busy making sweets for high tea!   :secret; You are our cover while the planning continues. The menfolk will think we are all in the kitchen doing our little lady duties   shhhh :secret;




EDITED: Fixed  :secret; icon error - Sluff/ Admin



Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on September 27, 2007, 09:34:24 AM
Did you say Peanut Butter? As  long as it is smooth, I'm in.
What's the plan?  :secret;

YUK!!!
We found you achilles heel. Cover Ken with peanut butter.
I have no objections to Oreos.
Got milk?
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Hawkeye on September 27, 2007, 02:34:54 PM
Careful Sir Kenneth.  This is what the last guy they did this too looks like permanently now.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on September 27, 2007, 04:09:08 PM
Too funny!  No chocolate and peanut butter will do, without the peanut butter. How about if we roll Ken in peanut butter then stick the oreos to him?  Then we could take him with us and have a snack anytime.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on September 27, 2007, 04:41:04 PM
 :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on September 27, 2007, 04:51:01 PM
 :rofl; :rofl;   Sounds yummy!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on September 27, 2007, 04:57:49 PM
Paris, Is that what happened to Joe Paul? I haven't seen him lately.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 28, 2007, 05:27:39 AM
Too funny!  No chocolate and peanut butter will do, without the peanut butter. How about if we roll Ken in peanut butter then stick the oreos to him?  Then we could take him with us and have a snack anytime.

 ??? Who said I don't like peanut butter? oh I do I do I do!

Don't get oreos in UK as far as I know. What are they?
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 28, 2007, 05:54:40 AM
Careful Sir Kenneth.  This is what the last guy they did this too looks like permanently now.

At least I'll be able to ice skate, which I never got the hang of.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Hawkeye on September 28, 2007, 06:13:43 AM
Don't get oreos in UK as far as I know. What are they?

Basically they are two chocolate flavored cookies with a white frosting in the middle.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on September 28, 2007, 06:24:32 AM
Joe Paul is out playing in his kilt! :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Hawkeye on September 28, 2007, 06:58:12 AM
How about if we roll Ken in peanut butter then stick the oreos to him?

I looks as though they have started their newest plan to take over the kingdom.  Sir Kenneth doesn't seem to mind much.  Doesn't look like they have added the oreos yet so there is still hope.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on September 28, 2007, 07:18:09 AM
Hear Ye! Hear YE ! Sir Ken I have spotted Romona and Paris trying to disguise themselves, something surely s a muck are they really trying to get us? What shall we do...? They have bags full of tiara's! and are they still eating chocolate? Help Sir Help Sir I don't know what to do!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 28, 2007, 07:43:33 AM
Weeeeeell it doesn't sound too bad does it? If I'm not mistaken they want to cover us in peanut butter, stick a few oreo thingies on us and then LICK US.  :yahoo;  Have I got that right?
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 28, 2007, 07:44:56 AM
Hear Ye! Hear YE ! Sir Ken I have spotted Romona and Paris trying to disguise themselves, something surely s a muck are they really trying to get us? What shall we do...? They have bags full of tiara's! and are they still eating chocolate? Help Sir Help Sir I don't know what to do!
:rofl; :rofl; :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Joe Paul on September 28, 2007, 08:14:57 AM
Im here everyone - I was out playing in my Kilt, but now since the women are planning a hostile take over I BEND OVER AND GRAB MY ANKLES WITH MY TRUSTY KILT ON - Take that!!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on September 28, 2007, 08:53:18 AM
Whoaaaaa-----what a visual! :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: goofynina on September 28, 2007, 12:25:43 PM
Im here everyone - I was out playing in my Kilt, but now since the women are planning a hostile take over I BEND OVER AND GRAB MY ANKLES WITH MY TRUSTY KILT ON - Take that!!

 ;musicalnote; I see London, i see France, i see JoePauls  ;musicalnote; ............hey, JoePaul, where's your underpants??  :urcrazy;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Joe Paul on September 28, 2007, 12:29:12 PM
Only my hairdresser knows for sure  :rofl;
Im here everyone - I was out playing in my Kilt, but now since the women are planning a hostile take over I BEND OVER AND GRAB MY ANKLES WITH MY TRUSTY KILT ON - Take that!!

 ;musicalnote; I see London, i see France, i see JoePauls ;musicalnote; ............hey, JoePaul, where's your underpants?? :urcrazy;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on September 28, 2007, 01:05:22 PM
I wish my real life was this exciting! :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 28, 2007, 02:19:56 PM
I've got a new idea. Why don't all us men send pictures to this thread from the face down to chest and let the ladies judge a MAN BOOB CONTEST. Youve got to include your face so then you can't cheat by sending a pic of Pavarotii's chest. And definately NO DIGITAL ENHANCEMENT! :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on September 28, 2007, 02:33:55 PM
The winner get a manazier! :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: thegrammalady on September 28, 2007, 02:37:38 PM
i think we need something stronger than tea and cucumber sandwiches. everyone to the pub  :beer1;  :wine; for man boob contest. goofynina needs to bring the camera!  :pics;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: goofynina on September 28, 2007, 02:38:17 PM
And what are us ladies supposed to send in??  LOL  :o
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Hawkeye on September 28, 2007, 02:45:54 PM
Just got my pictures from the oatmeal wrestling event developed here are a few.



EDITED: Resized Pictures - Sluff/ Admin
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: thegrammalady on September 28, 2007, 02:56:13 PM
peanut butter and oreos isn't revenge enough!! we have to think of something better. while we're thinking someone pass the cucumber and tomato sandwiches.  :wine;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 28, 2007, 02:59:17 PM
And what are us ladies supposed to send in??  LOL  :o

Now I was far too much of a gentleman to even suggest it...but now that you mention it :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: goofynina on September 28, 2007, 03:03:53 PM
Hmmmmm, so you men were taking pics of us ladies in our porridge were you?  Aye yi yi, you men are too much  :urcrazy;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on September 28, 2007, 03:06:33 PM
Hmmmmm, so you men were taking pics of us ladies in our porridge were you?  Aye yi yi, you men are too much  :urcrazy;


We have you all on video also just in case you try to get into politics, we can use it against you.  :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 28, 2007, 03:12:56 PM
 :clap; :clap; :clap; Hawkeye ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT. Now the question, did you stage this with a couple of your lady friends?
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on September 28, 2007, 03:15:52 PM
Did they sign a release. They look very young, I guess castle air does that to the girls.      :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 28, 2007, 03:16:40 PM
Hmmmmm, so you men were taking pics of us ladies in our porridge were you?  Aye yi yi, you men are too much  :urcrazy;


We have you all on video also just in case you try to get into politics, we can use it against you.  :rofl;

Great new Avatar  :clap;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on September 28, 2007, 03:39:22 PM
Thank you Sir Ken.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: goofynina on September 28, 2007, 03:44:58 PM
Did they sign a release. They look very young, I guess castle air does that to the girls.      :rofl;

For your information it wasnt the "castle air" it was that awesome green leafy substance that we ALL enjoyed ;) ;)  O0
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on September 28, 2007, 04:50:43 PM
There isn't enough castle air or green leafy stuff to get me to look that young!!  That must have been Romona in the pictures!!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: angela515 on September 28, 2007, 08:30:32 PM
 :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on September 28, 2007, 09:12:12 PM
I know I was not represented in those pictures.  Those girls were too damn skinny!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on September 29, 2007, 05:00:15 AM
Did they sign a release. They look very young, I guess castle air does that to the girls. :rofl;
I told all of you oatmeal was good for the skin. Don't we look great?  :bandance;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on September 29, 2007, 05:09:10 AM
Did they sign a release. They look very young, I guess castle air does that to the girls. :rofl;
I told all of you oatmeal was good for the skin. Don't we look great?  :bandance;


oooh lala  Superb!  ;) >:D
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Hawkeye on September 29, 2007, 12:07:23 PM
:clap; :clap; :clap; Hawkeye ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT. Now the question, did you stage this with a couple of your lady friends?

Did they sign a release. They look very young, I guess castle air does that to the girls. :rofl;

Did a search for oatmeal wrestling and found these on photobucket I think it was.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on September 29, 2007, 12:13:36 PM
:clap; :clap; :clap; Hawkeye ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT. Now the question, did you stage this with a couple of your lady friends?

Did they sign a release. They look very young, I guess castle air does that to the girls. :rofl;

Did a search for oatmeal wrestling and found these on photobucket I think it was.

It was a rhetorical statement/ question. No worries.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Joe Paul on September 29, 2007, 04:29:56 PM
I've got a new idea. Why don't all us men send pictures to this thread from the face down to chest and let the ladies judge a MAN BOOB CONTEST. Youve got to include your face so then you can't cheat by sending a pic of Pavarotii's chest. And definately NO DIGITAL ENHANCEMENT! :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;
Heres mine  ;D
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on September 29, 2007, 11:31:13 PM
Joe Paul that picture tells a lot about you. I love the fact that you fly our national ensign. Kudos Man.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: goofynina on September 29, 2007, 11:31:54 PM
 :yahoo; WooHooooo  :yahoo; JoePauls got my vote  :2thumbsup;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on September 29, 2007, 11:32:52 PM
:yahoo; WooHooooo  :yahoo; JoePauls got my vote  :2thumbsup;


oooohhh you just wait~!!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on September 30, 2007, 08:37:31 AM
Joe Paul, I believe you are missing Man Boobs. You will have to slack off, drink more beer and eat corn dogs.   :beer1;                                               I am afraid you are too "buff". You are disqualified.

:yahoo; WooHooooo :yahoo; JoePauls got my vote :2thumbsup;
I thought we are looking for men with more cleavage than I have.

Of course if there are no more pictures Joe Paul wins by default.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 30, 2007, 12:28:05 PM
As soon as my digi camera's powered up I'll show you mine!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on September 30, 2007, 01:25:19 PM
What has happened to our lovely kingdom?  We are reduced to the men (notice- not the Rimbo brothers or George!) taking off their shirts and it isn't 6 packs they are comparing! :rofl;  How very sad!  Oh well, I will make the best of it--- SHIRTS OFF    SHIRTS OFF   SHIRTS OFF :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: goofynina on September 30, 2007, 02:04:02 PM
As soon as my digi camera's powered up I'll show you mine!

Come on Ken, i am sure that camera has enough juice in it already,  us ladies wanna see some skin of royalty  :popcorn; :popcorn; :popcorn;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on September 30, 2007, 07:10:18 PM
As soon as my digi camera's powered up I'll show you mine!

Come on Ken, i am sure that camera has enough juice in it already, us ladies wanna see some skin of royalty :popcorn; :popcorn; :popcorn;

That's right! We want to see you and Sluff. For educational purposes only!
We have to make sure you are healthy and have NO suspicious growths or marks.


How do you you like that load of BS Susie! :rofl; :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: goofynina on September 30, 2007, 09:05:25 PM
As soon as my digi camera's powered up I'll show you mine!

Come on Ken, i am sure that camera has enough juice in it already, us ladies wanna see some skin of royalty :popcorn; :popcorn; :popcorn;

That's right! We want to see you and Sluff. For educational purposes only!
We have to make sure you are healthy and have NO suspicious growths or marks.


How do you you like that load of BS Susie! :rofl; :rofl;

Girrrrl, i was thinkin the same thing (just didnt have the cajones to put it up there) ;)  Glad you did  :2thumbsup;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Joe Paul on October 01, 2007, 12:58:11 PM
Did I win since everyone else is, er....chicken? HEHEHEHEHE
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: angela515 on October 01, 2007, 02:40:56 PM
You got my vote  :P
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on October 01, 2007, 03:02:00 PM
I ain't chicken I just don't have a picture.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: goofynina on October 01, 2007, 03:04:00 PM
I ain't chicken I just don't have a picture.

I'm sorry Sluff, did you just cluck something,   :oops;  I mean say something?  I was clearing out all these feathers around here  :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on October 01, 2007, 03:04:52 PM
 :rofl; :rofl;  :oops; Did I cluck that out loud?
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on October 02, 2007, 03:19:59 AM
Well the batteries of my digi camera are knackered so I'll get new ones today and charge them overnight. I ain't no chicken! I shall bear my breasts for you tomorrow. ;D
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Joe Paul on October 02, 2007, 03:35:40 AM
Sir Ken, just so you know - I am in no hurry to see them  :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on October 02, 2007, 03:39:48 AM
I'll be showing plenty in Vegas.  :rofl; :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on October 02, 2007, 04:38:09 AM
I'll be showing plenty in Vegas. :rofl; :rofl;

Oh my........... ;)
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on October 02, 2007, 10:59:57 AM
WARNING! NOT A PRETTY SIGHT. About a B cup waddy ya think



EDITED: Resized Picture - Sluff/ Admin
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on October 02, 2007, 12:28:12 PM
Sluff, where are you?   Joe Paul and Ken are men of their word---where is your picture?
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on October 02, 2007, 02:11:34 PM
Sluff, where are you?   Joe Paul and Ken are men of their word---where is your picture?

I'm showing mine off in Vegas.. maybe someone there can get a picture to post..I know I'll win.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on October 02, 2007, 02:26:11 PM
 :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;
I want to go to Vegas! :clap;
Love the picture Ken!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: goofynina on October 02, 2007, 03:03:36 PM
WOOHOOO *diggin' out my dollars*  Now we're talking.... JoePaul, looks like you got some competition here  :bandance; :bandance; :bandance;   

Ken, you and JoePaul are such great sports,  (now we await Sir Hawkeye and Mr. Sluff)  :clap;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: AlohaBeth on October 02, 2007, 06:26:24 PM
Holy cow!  I leave for a few days and I come back to man boobs!!!! :2thumbsup; :2thumbsup; :clap; :clap; :2thumbsup; :2thumbsup;


I mean, you can't really get a whole lot better than that!!!!  Cheers ladies  :beer1; I am all for sitting back and enjoying the show!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: thegrammalady on October 02, 2007, 06:43:27 PM
 :bow;  more, more, MORE   :pics;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on October 02, 2007, 07:16:24 PM
The peanut butter and oreos will stick nice to you Ken!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on October 02, 2007, 07:20:42 PM
Ok Ok Ok This is the best I can do. I had just got home from work spray painting a house.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: goofynina on October 02, 2007, 07:32:57 PM
WOAH, HE DID IT??  :o  Yep, he sure did.... Hmmmm, now the ladies and i will take time to deliberate and see who wins this competition...  :boxing;

Ladies, if you will please follow me to my chambers......  ::)
 :popcorn; :popcorn; :popcorn; :popcorn;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on October 02, 2007, 07:41:12 PM
I'll make it easy on the judges.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: goofynina on October 02, 2007, 07:43:02 PM
Hmmmmm, it's gonna be tough, i think we should wait for the swimsuits or better yet, the evening gowns, ooooh la la  :popcorn;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: thegrammalady on October 02, 2007, 07:57:55 PM
oooooo-la-la
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: okarol on October 02, 2007, 08:10:32 PM
You can have these Man Bras made to match the kilts!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: goofynina on October 02, 2007, 08:15:08 PM
Ooooh, and in such a lovely satiny material, dont know how much support you all will get but hey, at least you know they are out there :P  ;)
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on October 02, 2007, 08:25:54 PM
You guys are great! Even that pale guy!

You are such good sports! I see a three way tie!

 :2thumbsup; :clap; :bandance; :thumbup;

You are all very handsome. And I sincerely mean it! :)
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: angela515 on October 02, 2007, 08:58:54 PM
I agree with Ramona.. and you should all get a " :bow;" for even posting :)
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on October 02, 2007, 09:54:20 PM
There has to be winner. So it is off to the porridge wrestling with the naked men!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Amanda From OZ on October 03, 2007, 03:43:20 AM
How the hell did i miss this thread!!!!!

Ken, Sluff and Joe paul i think all those pictures are Sexi!    :clap;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on October 03, 2007, 04:04:09 AM
How the hell did i miss this thread!!!!!

Ken, Sluff and Joe paul i think all those pictures are Sexi! :clap;
Ken, Amanda needs a tiara! She definately gets a title too!  :bandance;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on October 03, 2007, 06:18:47 AM
Amanda, you have come out to play! Welcome to our lovely kingdom!  We have so much fun talking about "Brits on dialysis"!  Be aware- the men can be very tricky and devious!! They will promise you anything and then throw you in the dungeon.  But, now we have the man show going on, so they are trying to redeem themselves. :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on October 03, 2007, 06:27:01 AM
Welcome to the Kingdom Amanda.  >:D
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on October 03, 2007, 07:38:07 AM
 :welcomesign; Welcome to the kingdom Amanda. Read the thread from the beginning then you'll see how crazy we are! Read the report of the world champiomship ladies porridge wrestling contest on page 14! :rofl; :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on October 03, 2007, 09:16:19 AM
Ladies I only think it is fair that we post pictures of our legs. I have been told mine are pretty nice. I'll post first but I can't do it now, I am home on my lunch and I don't have much time.  :)
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on October 03, 2007, 09:42:52 AM
Romona--are you crazy??  Apparently, you don't have my puffy,aged legs! :rofl;  I'll post AlohaBeth's legs!  There really isn't ANY body part I want to post--my fingers aren't bad---not my hands, just my fingers :rofl; :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on October 03, 2007, 09:45:07 AM
Ken, I must say that you seemed to be enjoying that picture taking a little too much!  Maybe you should win just for the lovely smile.  Sluff and Joe Paul look like they just want to get this over with--but, you are just having too much fun posing!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on October 03, 2007, 01:19:14 PM
Don't be shy Paris. I will go first. I just have to figure out this picture thing!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on October 03, 2007, 01:28:50 PM
Romona---you have totally lost it :urcrazy;   You and Amanda, that's who they want to see!!  Grammalady-Goofynina-Kitkatz--were is my back up?
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: okarol on October 03, 2007, 01:47:06 PM
A kingdom where the men "take it off" and the women watch is the way to go! Sign me up!  :popcorn;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: goofynina on October 03, 2007, 04:08:46 PM
Romona---you have totally lost it :urcrazy;   You and Amanda, that's who they want to see!!  Grammalady-Goofynina-Kitkatz--were is my back up?

I am with you Paris,  :secret; I think Romona has lost it  :urcrazy;  lol,  I aint showin' my legs NOOO WAAAAY!!!!  :thumbdown;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: angela515 on October 03, 2007, 06:08:13 PM
I'll do it with ya Ramona... i mean, I already showed my pudgy belly, what else do I gotta lose?  :lol;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on October 03, 2007, 08:16:48 PM
Ok now you all saw the man boobs...how about the ladies boobs!!  ;)
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: goofynina on October 03, 2007, 08:23:06 PM
*buttons up sweater*  I beg your pardon  :(  What kind of ladies do you think we are??  :urcrazy; 
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on October 03, 2007, 09:07:49 PM
Ladies! Ladies!  We simply must take control of the situation here. 

Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on October 04, 2007, 03:18:05 AM
Hawkeye! where's your boob shot. Come on now, Joe Paul Sluff and me have done it! :yahoo;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Hawkeye on October 04, 2007, 10:27:17 AM
Hawkeye! where's your boob shot. Come on now, Joe Paul Sluff and me have done it! :yahoo;

Sorry, but I don't do pictures.  If you notice I don't have any in the family album either.  If someone from work saw my picture on this site it could cost me my job since I work in the dialysis field.  Well the picture wouldn't cause me the problem but they wouldn't look to kindly at what I post or how often I post.  When I no longer work at a clinic I will post my picture but till then the monocle pic will have to do even though it looks nothing like me.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: pinkrose on October 04, 2007, 10:38:06 AM
Hawkeye - you can borrow this photo
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: thegrammalady on October 04, 2007, 10:48:01 AM
Romona---you have totally lost it :urcrazy;   You and Amanda, that's who they want to see!!  Grammalady-Goofynina-Kitkatz--were is my back up?

no to the legs on my part.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Hawkeye on October 04, 2007, 11:10:22 AM
Hawkeye - you can borrow this photo

Thanks for the pic, but this is a a bit more like it.

p.s. can you find the differences?
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on October 04, 2007, 11:13:04 AM
Hawkeye - you can borrow this photo

Thanks for the pic, but this is a a bit more like it.

p.s. can you find the differences?

Looks like someone got that chocolate all over themselves. Was Hawkeye hiding with the ladies?
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Hawkeye on October 04, 2007, 11:15:21 AM
Looks like someone got that chocolate all over themselves. Was Hawkeye hiding with the ladies?

I had to suplement the missing hair.  LOL
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on October 04, 2007, 11:21:21 AM
Looks like someone got that chocolate all over themselves. Was Hawkeye hiding with the ladies?

I had to suplement the missing hair.  LOL


got it.. :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on October 04, 2007, 03:10:05 PM
I'm shy, but here is the picture.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on October 04, 2007, 03:46:23 PM
Ooohh you look so soft.  :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: AlohaBeth on October 04, 2007, 03:56:31 PM
Lady Paris is still not quite up to par in her picture-posting-skills (notice, friends, that she still has no avatar...)  So she asked my assistance in posting her entry in the legs contest.

Here you go boys...

(http://realwomensfitness.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/02/113818_leggy.jpg)
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on October 04, 2007, 04:18:56 PM
I think I should win. I showed "breasts"




Lady Paris is still not quite up to par in her picture-posting-skills (notice, friends, that she still has no avatar...) So she asked my assistance in posting her entry in the legs contest.

Here you go boys...

(http://realwomensfitness.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/02/113818_leggy.jpg)

Great legs Paris!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on October 04, 2007, 04:37:18 PM
This is my fantasy world, right? :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: goofynina on October 04, 2007, 04:39:41 PM
Ummmm, Romona,  how am i going to say this...... girrrrl, you make me want to take a slab of butter and spread it all over your body  :oops;   :rofl;   Glad to see it worked and nice to see your pic too *whistles* wheeeetwhoooo ;) ;)  

Paris, all i can say is OOOOH, LA LAAAAA ;) ;)  
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on October 04, 2007, 04:43:06 PM
What can I say? I have that effect on people (except vegetarians). :bandance;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: charee on October 04, 2007, 05:47:05 PM
 :rofl; Sorry to butt in but you are all too funny!!! :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: goofynina on October 04, 2007, 05:51:04 PM
Charee?? Girlfriend?? why are you apologizing, this thread is for anyone and everyone who just wants to join in and add their  :twocents;  (just like any other one) ;)   :bandance; :bandance; :bandance; :bandance; :bandance; :bandance; :bandance;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on October 04, 2007, 06:38:49 PM
 :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; Nice legs  :o
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on October 04, 2007, 06:55:38 PM
No comment on the "breast"? Maybe it is not to your liking. Some men prefer a little "enhancement". Like a crispy breading.  :bandance;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: thegrammalady on October 04, 2007, 07:15:40 PM
now i know we're leaving my legs out of this !!!!!!!  :boxing;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: angela515 on October 04, 2007, 07:19:11 PM
 :rofl; Too funny
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on October 05, 2007, 03:14:23 AM
Lady Paris is still not quite up to par in her picture-posting-skills (notice, friends, that she still has no avatar...)  So she asked my assistance in posting her entry in the legs contest.

Here you go boys...

(http://realwomensfitness.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/02/113818_leggy.jpg)

I'll have to go fora lie down.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on October 05, 2007, 03:19:59 AM
I'm shy, but here is the picture.

Romona, magnificent breasts! :rofl; :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Joe Paul on October 05, 2007, 08:32:45 AM
No comment on the "breast"? Maybe it is not to your liking. Some men prefer a little "enhancement". Like a crispy breading.  :bandance;
\
What only 1 breast?  :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on October 05, 2007, 01:09:40 PM
I should have made it plural!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Amanda From OZ on October 06, 2007, 06:59:05 AM
Paris i think your legs won hands down!  ;) ;D
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on October 06, 2007, 05:44:38 PM
As I said, this is a fantasy!  In my next life, maybe I will have legs like that :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on October 06, 2007, 05:47:29 PM
Oh boy what I would do to those legs... :oops; This is a dialysis site right? :lol;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on October 06, 2007, 06:29:15 PM
Brits on dialysis---oh yeah that's what we are suppose to be talking about!  So, Ken, how is your dialysis going?   

OK--now when do we vote on the men pictures? 
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on October 07, 2007, 08:03:47 AM
Brits on dialysis---oh yeah that's what we are suppose to be talking about!  So, Ken, how is your dialysis going?   

OK--now when do we vote on the men pictures? 

 Lady Paris of somewhere near Victoria Station, my dialysis is going great thank you. Had a Flu jab on thursday and had a slight reaction which left me a bit off colour but I'm fine now.

Anyway as far as the man boob contest is concerned I think you ladies should judge the Viscount as winner because if in that picture he'd have had his arms down and not raised he'd be the outright winner.
 :rofl; :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Joe Paul on October 07, 2007, 08:07:23 AM
Brits on dialysis---oh yeah that's what we are suppose to be talking about!  So, Ken, how is your dialysis going?   

OK--now when do we vote on the men pictures? 

 Lady Paris of somewhere near Victoria Station, my dialysis is going great thank you. Had a Flu jab on thursday and had a slight reaction which left me a bit off colour but I'm fine now.

Anyway as far as the man boob contest is concerned I think you ladies should judge the Viscount as winner because if in that picture he'd have had his arms down and not raised he'd be the outright winner.
 :rofl; :rofl;
That aint right  :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on October 07, 2007, 08:32:19 AM
Brits on dialysis---oh yeah that's what we are suppose to be talking about!  So, Ken, how is your dialysis going?   

OK--now when do we vote on the men pictures? 

 Lady Paris of somewhere near Victoria Station, my dialysis is going great thank you. Had a Flu jab on thursday and had a slight reaction which left me a bit off colour but I'm fine now.

Anyway as far as the man boob contest is concerned I think you ladies should judge the Viscount as winner because if in that picture he'd have had his arms down and not raised he'd be the outright winner.
 :rofl; :rofl;
That aint right  :rofl;


 :rofl; :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on October 07, 2007, 03:37:49 PM
I want to see our men in kilts and boobs. Hehehe.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Joe Paul on October 08, 2007, 12:21:31 AM
I want to see our men in kilts and boobs. Hehehe.
KINKY  :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on October 08, 2007, 05:56:59 PM
I think Ken should win because his picture makes me smile!  Love your personality, Sir Lord and Master Ken.   I think the next meet up should be at your castle!  I am willing to make the trip across the pond!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on October 08, 2007, 06:19:29 PM
Ah ha, buttering up Sir Ken I see. I think that Sir Sluff should win.
Just because you have better legs than me, that doesn't mean you can declare the winner.  :waving;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: goofynina on October 08, 2007, 09:18:09 PM
Ladies, ladies, ladies,  we were supposed to discuss this amongst ourselves and reveal who the winner is, remember?? :P  Now, are you solid with your votes? or were those just opinions?  Feel free to pm me who you believe to be the winner and we will have to announce it Royally ;)
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on October 09, 2007, 02:07:31 PM
I think Ken should win because his picture makes me smile!  Love your personality, Sir Lord and Master Ken.   I think the next meet up should be at your castle!  I am willing to make the trip across the pond!

That would be fantastic. I only wish I could get to Vegas.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on October 09, 2007, 02:38:30 PM
I wish I could go to Vegas too! I guess I'll just go bowling instead.  :bandance;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Patton on October 09, 2007, 06:34:33 PM
Hey Sluff, I think you missed a spot!!  :rofl; :rofl; :beer1; :boxing;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: goofynina on October 09, 2007, 08:02:12 PM
Hey Sluff, I think you missed a spot!!  :rofl; :rofl; :beer1; :boxing;

*blink*  i say he missed 2  ::)
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Patton on October 10, 2007, 09:15:49 PM
Hey Sluff, I think you missed a spot!!  :rofl; :rofl; :beer1; :boxing;

*blink*  i say he missed 2  ::)

 :rofl; :rofl; :clap;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Patton on October 15, 2007, 03:11:03 PM
My vote goes to Sluff, but then again I'm a guy, and he's my dad. If I didn't vote for him he'd be mad...  :boxing;  :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on October 16, 2007, 12:11:26 PM
Sir Ken---I missed you so much while I was in Vegas! The airport security kept my tiara,but Goofynina wore hers the entire weekend (there are pictures with Sluff wearing it).  It was fun explaining to others why the tiara was important! We thought of you often.   Well, your subjects are back and ready for our next adventure.     

My vote is still for Ken!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: goofynina on October 16, 2007, 12:51:01 PM
Sir Ken---I missed you so much while I was in Vegas! The airport security kept my tiara,but Goofynina wore hers the entire weekend (there are pictures with Sluff wearing it).  It was fun explaining to others why the tiara was important! We thought of you often.   Well, your subjects are back and ready for our next adventure.     

My vote is still for Ken!

Hey Paris  :secret; I'm still wearing my Tiara  :urcrazy;  lol,  Sam asks me if i ever plan on taking it off, i said HELL NO, The memories that this little cheaply made tiara has is more precious and valuable to me than anyone can ever know.  I had several chances to sell it to total strangers and there is no amount of money that can mean as much to me as this little tiara does.   :2thumbsup; 

My vote is for Ken also, for the fact that if it wasnt for him, i wouldnt have had my tiara nor would we have had such fun with a thread such as this one, Here is to you Sir Kenizzle  :bow;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on October 16, 2007, 01:14:07 PM
My vote is still for Sluff.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: angela515 on October 16, 2007, 01:29:31 PM
I vote for Ken.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Bajanne on October 16, 2007, 01:46:01 PM
Sluff, I am so sorry, but I am tied to the Union Jack,  :ukflag; so I have to give Ken my vote.  But you know I love you, don't you!  That doesn't change anything, does it?
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Patton on October 16, 2007, 02:02:32 PM
Sir Ken---I missed you so much while I was in Vegas! The airport security kept my tiara,but Goofynina wore hers the entire weekend (there are pictures with Sluff wearing it).  It was fun explaining to others why the tiara was important! We thought of you often.   Well, your subjects are back and ready for our next adventure.     

My vote is still for Ken!

Hey Paris  :secret; I'm still wearing my Tiara  :urcrazy;  lol,  Sam asks me if i ever plan on taking it off, i said HELL NO, The memories that this little cheaply made tiara has is more precious and valuable to me than anyone can ever know.  I had several chances to sell it to total strangers and there is no amount of money that can mean as much to me as this little tiara does.   :2thumbsup; 

My vote is for Ken also, for the fact that if it wasnt for him, i wouldnt have had my tiara nor would we have had such fun with a thread such as this one, Here is to you Sir Kenizzle  :bow;

I'm not sure Ken, but doesn't bribery mean disqualification??? I know there were no written rules but it seems to make sense to me.... :bump;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: goofynina on October 16, 2007, 03:18:18 PM
BUT Sir Ken, i must add if there were an Elvis singing imitating competition, Sluff would beat'cha hands down, (but he wouldn't beat my hubby) lol,  :2thumbsup;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Patton on October 16, 2007, 06:38:53 PM
Darn right!!! LOL!!  I still think my Dad could have tried harder on that armwrestling.... ;D
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: goofynina on October 16, 2007, 08:12:47 PM
Darn right!!! LOL!! I still think my Dad could have tried harder on that armwrestling.... ;D

 :secret; To be honest Josh, i think he just really wanted to try out my Tiara ;) ;) lol,
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: okarol on October 16, 2007, 08:26:32 PM
Darn right!!! LOL!! I still think my Dad could have tried harder on that armwrestling.... ;D

 :secret; To be honest Josh, i think he just really wanted to try out my Tiara ;) ;) lol,

As I recall, he eagerly donned the tiara - see his smile? Looks pretty smitten!  8)
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on October 17, 2007, 03:16:53 AM
Darn right!!! LOL!!  I still think my Dad could have tried harder on that armwrestling.... ;D

Goofynina did you beat Sluff at arm wrestling? You both looked pretty good wearing your tiara, :clap;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on October 17, 2007, 06:02:49 AM
I vote for Ken.

Princess! where've you been on this thread? You never claimed your title!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on October 17, 2007, 06:04:50 AM
BUT Sir Ken, i must add if there were an Elvis singing imitating competition, Sluff would beat'cha hands down, (but he wouldn't beat my hubby) lol,  :2thumbsup;

How d'ya know I can't do Elvis? ;) :bandance; :bandance;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on October 17, 2007, 06:37:51 AM
Sir Ken, please tell us that you are a  ;musicalnote;"hunka hunka burning love" ;musicalnote;!! :2thumbsup;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Patton on October 17, 2007, 07:45:59 AM
Darn right!!! LOL!! I still think my Dad could have tried harder on that armwrestling.... ;D

 :secret; To be honest Josh, i think he just really wanted to try out my Tiara ;) ;) lol,

 :rofl; :rofl; Maybe your right.... :urcrazy;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on October 17, 2007, 09:01:43 AM
Sir Ken, please tell us that you are a  ;musicalnote;"hunka hunka burning love" ;musicalnote;!! :2thumbsup;

Well.....er....er I play guitar and used to play in rockbands, still do occasionally....how's that?  ;musicalnote; ;musicalnote; ;musicalnote;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Patton on October 17, 2007, 11:05:57 AM
Sir Ken, please tell us that you are a  ;musicalnote;"hunka hunka burning love" ;musicalnote;!! :2thumbsup;

Well.....er....er I play guitar and used to play in rockbands, still do occasionally....how's that?  ;musicalnote; ;musicalnote; ;musicalnote;

Not even close.... :rofl; :rofl;...just kidding around...thats cool though, my Dad (Sluff), likes to play guitar when he can, too.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on October 17, 2007, 12:57:42 PM
Sir Ken, you certainly are a man of many talents!!   Next we must have an Elvis contest while we continue to discuss Brits on Dialysis!!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Patton on October 17, 2007, 03:05:11 PM
Just call him the IHD Renaissance Man.   :rofl; :beer1;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on October 17, 2007, 06:07:21 PM
I like that, Patton. That is a perfect description of Ken!! :thumbup;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Patton on October 17, 2007, 08:00:36 PM
 :lol; :thx;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on October 18, 2007, 06:41:45 AM
Sir Ken, you certainly are a man of many talents!!   Next we must have an Elvis contest while we continue to discuss Brits on Dialysis!!

Paris I'll try and get a pic of me doing Elvis while hooked up to my Baxter cycler. It might take some time 'cause Ill have to find someone who will lend me a rhinestone suit.....that fits me!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Patton on October 18, 2007, 02:08:27 PM
 :rofl; :2thumbsup; Sounds like a good idea to me...then post it on Youtube... :lol;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on October 18, 2007, 03:35:57 PM
I will wait patiently!  I can't imagine my Sir Ken in sequins and rhinestones :bow;  We need a swoon or fainting icon!!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on October 18, 2007, 05:15:17 PM
I'll have to see Sluff and Joe Paul in rhinestones too. If not then I have to change my vote to Ken.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Patton on October 20, 2007, 12:26:52 AM
You better not Romona... :lol;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on October 29, 2007, 04:41:45 AM
Pssst............Girls. The guys are all distracted. They are walking around with their chests puffed out like  Honeysuckle Turkeys.  :bow;

The castle, chocolate and oatmeal is unguarded.  >:D


Ken how is dialysis?  :)
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on October 29, 2007, 04:47:35 AM
Pssst............Girls. The guys are all distracted. They are walking around with their chests puffed out like  Honeysuckle Turkeys.  :bow;

The castle, chocolate and oatmeal is unguarded.  >:D


Ken how is dialysis?  :)

Romona Dialysis is going OK. Wish I could say the same for that damn football team I support :banghead;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on October 29, 2007, 10:23:27 AM
For some reason, when I picture my imaginary kingdom, Ken and Romona are always there! 
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: goofynina on October 29, 2007, 04:01:36 PM
Quote
They are walking around with their chests puffed out like  Honeysuckle Turkeys

Not sure that is a good thing to do since it's so close to Thanksgiving and all  :o  ::)

For some reason, when I picture my imaginary kingdom, Ken and Romona are always there!

Awwww, and where am i?  :'(
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on October 29, 2007, 04:24:05 PM
For some reason, when I picture my imaginary kingdom, Ken and Romona are always there!

If we are not there in person, we are always as close as your heart! :cuddle;

 :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; I should write cards for Hallmark!
Quote
They are walking around with their chests puffed out like Honeysuckle Turkeys

Not sure that is a good thing to do since it's so close to Thanksgiving and all :o ::)

For some reason, when I picture my imaginary kingdom, Ken and Romona are always there!

Awwww, and where am i? :'(

You my friend are in the rays of sunshine, the whisper of the wind, and in the tiny teardrops we call rain. We may be strangers, but we are all children of this wonderful world.  :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;

Sorry I drank supper again! :wine; :beer1; :wine; :bandance;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: goofynina on October 29, 2007, 04:26:04 PM
Awwww Romona, that was beautiful  :'(  here,  :wine; have some more and tell me more about me  :popcorn;  ::)  lol, j/k.   :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on October 29, 2007, 09:08:55 PM
Drinking supper?  I wish I could do that!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on October 30, 2007, 02:56:44 AM
Quote
They are walking around with their chests puffed out like  Honeysuckle Turkeys

Not sure that is a good thing to do since it's so close to Thanksgiving and all  :o  ::)

For some reason, when I picture my imaginary kingdom, Ken and Romona are always there!

Awwww, and where am i?  :'(

We don't do thanksgiving here in the UK so.... Gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble  :bandance; :bandance;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on October 30, 2007, 07:59:59 AM
Romona, you can make my Christmas cards this year!!  Hallmark has nothing on you!

Goofynina, you are always in my imaginary kingdom-----you are the one wearing the tiara with the handsome prince by your side :2thumbsup;

I am in the mood for some oatmeal?  Sound good? Anyone want to join me?? :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Joe Paul on October 30, 2007, 08:39:30 AM
Does that oatmeal contain any of the green leafy substance?
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on October 30, 2007, 08:48:30 AM
Does that oatmeal contain any of the green leafy substance?

Of course it does, they probably wouldn't eat it otherwise.  :lol; Don't worry Ken I have mixed in some of that dating drug so they will become extremely compliant.  :2thumbsup;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on October 30, 2007, 08:50:32 AM
Out of the oatmeal girls, they want us compliant!  That ain't never gonna happen boys!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on October 30, 2007, 10:21:36 AM
But, if we aren't compliant, we can't get on the "list"!   The establishment has been training us to be compliant by holding the almighty list over our heads.   Now what?  The men seem to have found our Achilles heel!   Ladies we need to unite and solve this dilemma. :secret;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on October 30, 2007, 10:27:56 AM
Compliance be damned. I am not on any damned list!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on October 30, 2007, 06:16:46 PM
Romona, you can make my Christmas cards this year!! Hallmark has nothing on you!

Goofynina, you are always in my imaginary kingdom-----you are the one wearing the tiara with the handsome prince by your side :2thumbsup;

I am in the mood for some oatmeal? Sound good? Anyone want to join me?? :rofl;


Susie just who is this handsome Prince?? Is it Sluff?? Ken?? Joe Paul?? Or could you be taking advantage of the young and innocent Patton??
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: goofynina on October 30, 2007, 07:18:20 PM
Hmmmmm, *tapping head* decisions decisions, well, Patton is too young so he is out, Sluff is newly married, so he is out, Ken is far away and i am afraid of flying and JoePaul, well, he just got put on the list and i wouldnt want to do anything to jeopardize that, soooooo, i guess i am gonna stick with my one and only, Sam  :bandance;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on October 30, 2007, 07:43:19 PM
Yes, Goofynina, I meant your own personal prince charming, Sam!!  You don't need to have an imaginary kingdom--you already are living your dream.  Sam is such a sweetie and you two are just too cute together! :clap;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on October 30, 2007, 08:50:30 PM
Speaking of cute together...
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: goofynina on October 30, 2007, 09:08:56 PM
Awww shucks, i thought me and Elvis did look good together ;) ;)  :2thumbsup;  But the dude in the Boston shirt had to mess up my game  :rofl;   :urcrazy;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on October 31, 2007, 04:22:53 AM
 :bandance; You have a wonderful Prince Charming!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on October 31, 2007, 04:35:43 AM
List? What's this list? Sluff are they ganging up on us again?
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on October 31, 2007, 05:29:53 AM
List? What's this list? Sluff are they ganging up on us again?


They think so..but alas I am in control. No fear Sir Ken as I pledge my loyalty once again.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on October 31, 2007, 07:25:43 AM
 Viscount, we never did get that mad scientist to turn them all into Stepford Wives did we?
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on November 05, 2007, 03:03:36 PM
Stepford Wives, I don't think so. We persuaded the mad scientist to our side. We think it is more important that he comes up with a way for us "To Rule The World".  >:D >:D >:D
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on November 26, 2007, 09:51:27 PM
Ladies, Ken has shown yet another side of himself. No, Paris I am not talking about his back side. His song writing. Now that he's distracted we can make a move.

Hey Ken, still doing dialysis?
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on November 27, 2007, 05:52:34 AM
Ladies, Ken has shown yet another side of himself. No, Paris I am not talking about his back side. His song writing. Now that he's distracted we can make a move.

Hey Ken, still doing dialysis?

I've got my beady eye on you two. :boxing;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on November 27, 2007, 09:45:29 AM
Ladies, Ken has shown yet another side of himself. No, Paris I am not talking about his back side. His song writing. Now that he's distracted we can make a move.

Hey Ken, still doing dialysis?

I've got my beady eye on you two. :boxing;


I am here reporting for duty Sir Ken. What shall we do?
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on November 27, 2007, 09:53:17 AM
 :secret; Romona, I think you are right. Now is our chance while he is busy with his song writing. Ladies of the royal tiara society, ban together.    Goofynina, do you have a plan?   OK, ladies we must put our heads together :grouphug;

Oh yeah, Ken how is that British dialysis going?  Hope all is well in your castle!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on November 27, 2007, 01:18:06 PM
Ladies, Ken has shown yet another side of himself. No, Paris I am not talking about his back side. His song writing. Now that he's distracted we can make a move.

Hey Ken, still doing dialysis?

I've got my beady eye on you two. :boxing;


Ladies, I am confused. Didn't Ken have two eyes?? I thought Hawkeye had the eye patch or was it a monocle? All this Christmas shopping has keot all of us away for too long.  :grouphug;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: goofynina on November 27, 2007, 03:12:06 PM
 O0 I say we all hit the little leafy green stuff and relax Baby, come on, cant we all just get along, it's like groooooooovy daddy-o  O0
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on November 27, 2007, 03:14:05 PM
Uh Oh we ran out of green stuff and chocolate.  I say we declare war on the castle, or at least the kitchen!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on November 27, 2007, 03:29:45 PM
No worry you lil scavengers the leafy green stuff is coming in a container across the Ocean and if I can get my bloody azz out of bed early enough Sir Ken and I will have all the green leafy substance you ladies can handle...for a small amount of gold.   
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on November 27, 2007, 08:30:04 PM
On second thought Christmas is coming. I want my present. Let's declare war after the holidays.  :santahat;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on November 27, 2007, 08:37:39 PM
Mimi wrote a lovely post about "peace".  Maybe she was talking to us!  So, we will concentrate on chestnuts roasting on an open fire, jack frost nipping at your nose!! :rofl; :christmastree;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on November 27, 2007, 08:38:32 PM
On second thought Christmas is coming. I want my present. Let's declare war after the holidays.  :santahat;

Isn't that what the Holidaze are about.  :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on November 27, 2007, 09:04:06 PM
Holidaze....Is that why I am staring off into the distance wondering what bells I am hearing?
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on November 28, 2007, 04:22:05 AM
Ladies, Ken has shown yet another side of himself. No, Paris I am not talking about his back side. His song writing. Now that he's distracted we can make a move.

Hey Ken, still doing dialysis?

I've got my beady eye on you two. :boxing;


I am here reporting for duty Sir Ken. What shall we do?

Be vigilante Viscount Sluff, the scoundrels are plotting treachery again. Raise the drawbridge and man the barricades. But we have the new weapon and they don't, we have MUSKETS! We now have a mighty weapon with balls er musket balls.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on November 28, 2007, 04:45:12 AM
I think we could draw them to the dungeon if I play Santa Clause.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on November 28, 2007, 06:21:10 AM
Do we get to sit on your lap? :rofl; 
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on November 28, 2007, 07:06:01 AM
Do we get to sit on your lap? :rofl; 

Sure and we can talk about anything that comes up.   :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on November 28, 2007, 07:44:46 AM
Do we get to sit on your lap? :rofl; 

Sure and we can talk about anything that comes up.   :rofl;

 :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on November 28, 2007, 01:07:42 PM
 :o :o :o
I am speechless!  :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on November 28, 2007, 01:31:47 PM
:o :o :o
I am speechless!  :rofl;
At least I didn't get slapped.  :)
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on November 28, 2007, 09:33:04 PM
Get out of his lap and be a woman, woman!  These men are devious.  Let's see if we can find his sleigh and reindeer and get the heck out of here!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on November 29, 2007, 10:23:07 AM
Oh my! :o   :o   

Reindeer--sleigh---where are they?  I am looking for the red nose blinking, can't see a thing through all this snow.  Maybe if I can just find an elf! A talking snowman?  A little help here!!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on November 29, 2007, 02:11:29 PM
Does that mean we don't get to see the "packages"?  :(
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on November 30, 2007, 05:07:48 AM
Oh my! :o   :o   

Reindeer--sleigh---where are they?  I am looking for the red nose blinking, can't see a thing through all this snow.  Maybe if I can just find an elf! A talking snowman?  A little help here!!

Paris, have you been on the leafy stuff again?
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on November 30, 2007, 05:09:13 AM
Does that mean we don't get to see the "packages"?  :(

Weeeell......if you ask nicely.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on November 30, 2007, 02:08:57 PM
Does that mean we don't get to see the "packages"?� :(

Weeeell......if you ask nicely.

I would not want to be tricked.  :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: okarol on March 12, 2008, 11:31:56 PM
I had to read this all the way through again. It's so much fun. Hail Damn Dame Goofynina!  :bow;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on March 13, 2008, 03:59:28 AM
Especially the pics of our boys! :bandance;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on March 13, 2008, 06:19:54 AM
You're right Okarol--it is the funniest thread ever!  I am sure some wonder who Sir Ken is or even why Goofynina wears a tiara.   I love our little kingdom.  Joe Paul, Sluff and Ken--who could ask for more! :2thumbsup;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on March 13, 2008, 07:39:59 AM
I am now Sir Radioactive Ken in a moonie gown. Ladies Bow in awe!!!!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: rose1999 on March 13, 2008, 07:48:18 AM
I'm curtsying Sir Kenneth, it's the least I can do (and it's easier to see up the back of your gown from down here  :rofl; :rofl;)
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on March 13, 2008, 07:53:02 AM
Sir Radioactive Ken you must cover your buttocks... :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on March 13, 2008, 08:12:28 AM
 :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;
Brilliant Cartoon Sluff. If I could figure out how to do it I'll use it as an avatar.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on March 13, 2008, 09:04:28 AM
 :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on March 13, 2008, 10:56:09 AM
Sir Ken, I would recognize you anywhere!!     Oopps--shouldn't have said that :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on March 13, 2008, 02:06:41 PM
Oh my Paris, did Ken tell you lipstick was meant to be smeared??  :rofl;


Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on March 14, 2008, 12:29:31 PM
I always said that one day I'd show my arse on the internet. :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :bandance; :bandance; :bandance;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on March 14, 2008, 12:38:16 PM
Oh my God. I am blind now!   :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: rose1999 on March 14, 2008, 01:17:10 PM
I always said that one day I'd show my arse on the internet. :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :bandance; :bandance; :bandance;

 :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on March 14, 2008, 01:22:32 PM
Oh my God. I am blind now! :rofl;

 8)   

Ken you rascal look what you've done!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on March 14, 2008, 01:58:12 PM
Thats one down... :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on March 14, 2008, 02:20:32 PM
Sluff, show yours as well, and blind some more of them. They'll never rise against us again :rofl; :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: willieandwinnie on March 14, 2008, 02:32:51 PM
That butt looks awful familiar.  :rofl; :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: rose1999 on March 14, 2008, 02:41:04 PM
Sluff, show yours as well, and blind some more of them. They'll never rise against us again :rofl; :rofl;
How do you know Sluff's will blind us? What do you know about him that we don't ??? :rofl;  :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on March 14, 2008, 02:48:12 PM
I think we all have smiles on our faces from looking at Ken's back side.  After all, we have seen him naked from the waist up-- there isn't much we haven't seen now :rofl; :rofl;



EDITED: Fixed icon error - Sluff/Admin



Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: rose1999 on March 14, 2008, 02:52:07 PM
I think we all have smiles on our faces from looking at Ken's back side.  After all, we have seen him naked from the waist up-- there isn't much we haven't seen now :rofl; :rofl

Paris I'm not sure that Ken will appreciate you referring to the bits we haven't seen as 'not much'  :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on March 14, 2008, 03:36:16 PM
After all, we have seen him naked from the waist up-- there isn't much we haven't seen now :rofl; :rofl;
EDITED: Fixed icon error - Sluff/Admin

You wanna bet? :rofl; :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on March 14, 2008, 04:40:42 PM
 :rofl; :rofl;   Maybe that is why the gown didn't close in the back!  Too much in front-----ok, where is the blush icon!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on March 14, 2008, 04:56:16 PM
:rofl; :rofl;   Maybe that is why the gown didn't close in the back!  Too much in front-----ok, where is the blush icon!


 :shy;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ohio Buckeye on March 14, 2008, 05:19:09 PM
   :lol;   :lol;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: aharris2 on March 14, 2008, 06:04:26 PM
I am now Sir Radioactive Ken in a moonie gown. Ladies Bow in awe!!!!

Will you bow too???

(hee, hee, hee, Oh yeah - i see london, i see france, i see ken's underpants! ...oh wait... no I don't... KEN!!!)
 :shy; Alene (yikes!)
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on March 14, 2008, 08:18:30 PM
It is nice to see more of Ken on IHD.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on March 14, 2008, 09:28:19 PM
I think we need another gown to cover the backside!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on March 15, 2008, 04:45:50 AM
I agree. Sir Ken if I must here you are.. :) incase you can't read it it says Now I know why they call it ICU.. :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: meadowlandsnj on March 15, 2008, 02:21:33 PM

 It would also be nice for me for example to discuss things  off topic which concerns whats happening in Britain paticularly English Soccer.

You had some pretty bad weather last week, right??  I saw on the news about it.  Did it effect you in any way?? I hope you andr family are well.  It was really bad. We had a nasty storm here and the dialysis clinic closed because the water was shut off everywhere so we had to go three says without it (my shift and day)

Donna
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on March 17, 2008, 10:52:08 AM
Yep that's right Donna we had some really stormy weather. No real damage or injury to anyone where I live except a couple of trees blown  down. They had it bad in the south west and south coast of England with lots of damage to buildings and I think 2 people killed. The worst I experienced was one night when the wind was howling round the house so bad that I never got any sleep that night
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on March 17, 2008, 10:54:13 AM
I agree. Sir Ken if I must here you are.. :) incase you can't read it it says Now I know why they call it ICU.. :rofl;

 :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; Do you have any more arse pics in your collection Sluff  :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on March 17, 2008, 10:57:56 AM
It is nice to see more of Ken on IHD.

Calm yourself girl :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on March 17, 2008, 11:40:08 AM
I agree. Sir Ken if I must here you are.. :) incase you can't read it it says Now I know why they call it ICU.. :rofl;

 :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; Do you have any more arse pics in your collection Sluff  :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;

As a matter of fact..yes :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on March 17, 2008, 12:03:42 PM
Ken, be careful what you ask Sluff. He seems to have pictures of almost everytihng. :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on March 17, 2008, 12:36:17 PM
Yeah, Sluff seems to be spending more and more time in the dark room lately with the other admins.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: rose1999 on March 17, 2008, 01:11:25 PM
Yeah, Sluff seems to be spending more and more time in the dark room lately with the other admins.

Now I know why Karol has volunteered to be admin - she gets to be in a dark room with Suffbunny  :bunny: :rofl; :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on March 17, 2008, 01:47:41 PM
 :secret; I'll never tell. and Kitkatz thats Admin not Admins  :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: petey on March 17, 2008, 02:10:37 PM
Yeah, Sluff seems to be spending more and more time in the dark room lately with the other admins.

Now I know why Karol has volunteered to be admin - she gets to be in a dark room with Suffbunny :bunny: :rofl; :rofl;

I see we have another nickname for Sluff --  Rose called him "Suffbunny"  :rofl; :rofl;  Add that to "Fluffly" and...what was it Goofy's mom called him, Karol?
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: rose1999 on March 17, 2008, 02:18:52 PM
OOPS, meant SLuffbunny (missed the L out!) I think it really suits him  :bunny:
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: petey on March 17, 2008, 02:27:11 PM
OOPS, meant SLuffbunny (missed the L out!) I think it really suits him :bunny:

I think the picture and the new name suits our Suffbunny perfectly!   :bunny:
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on March 18, 2008, 11:23:24 AM
SLUDGE was the other name for suffbunny.  :bunny:
 :sluff;  This is SLUDGE!



Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on March 18, 2008, 11:47:39 AM
Sluffbunny er Sluff. They're getting at you, respond please.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: rose1999 on March 18, 2008, 11:49:49 AM
Sluffbunny er Sluff. They're getting at you, respond please.
Behave yourself Ken and stop stirring things up - or else we'll start on going on about your behind again!!!! :sir ken;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on March 18, 2008, 11:53:57 AM
 :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; Rose I don't need anyone reminding me about my bottom It's bruised black and blue!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on March 18, 2008, 12:31:22 PM
Sluffbunny er Sluff. They're getting at you, respond please.

I'm not sure how manly Sluffbunny sounds but It gives them something to do... :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on March 18, 2008, 04:37:19 PM
 :bunny: Sluffybunny and Sir Ken  :sir ken;
Sitting in a tree
One is as cute as a bunny,  :bunny:
the other has an ass you can see.  :sir ken;
 

:rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; Sometimes I crack myself up!


Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on March 18, 2008, 05:25:29 PM
I think you have a hit there Kit... :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on June 01, 2008, 11:44:26 AM
Viscount, the ladies of the kingdom seem much subdued do they not as of late but I sense more treachery afoot. Oh yea oh yea methinks they again plainly plotteth against us. They have disrespectfully called you Sluffbunny and made merriment about my royal arse. Although they have tragically lost a great leader (The Damn Dame) they are inspired by her legacy and plan an uprising.

Viscount be ever watchful and once again unsheathe thy mighty weapon and pleat thy kilt as I will also reach for my big ugly pikestaff.  :Kit n Stik;

For those who joineth IHD since the last uprising, pray read this thread from it's commencement. Read how Sir Kenneth did bestow honourary British titles on the Americans Canadians and Australians and how some of their number did showeth much ingratitude with huge treachery.

Read tales of daring do with swords spears and baby oil and the great porridge wrestling championship contest. And when ye have digested this tale of heroism bravery and pornography, stand up and be counted and declare thy allegiance to the Kingdom of Sir Kenneth or, The Rabble of Treacherous Ladies.
LONG LIVE THE KINGDOM!!!
 :sir ken;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: rose1999 on June 01, 2008, 01:51:39 PM
Sir Kenneth it is truly magnificent to have you back in the Kingdom after such a time, forsooth I say your ladies have missed you. 

As a Brit myself (and one who only joined when the last uprising was almost ended) I should like to apply for a title, I would not expect anything grand to start out with, but a Lady or Baroness would be nice - what sayeth thee my Lord? 

You are quite right - we do all mourn the loss of the Damn Dame (as you so fondly called her) but she would not want us all to rest on our laurels, come fellow courtiers I say rise up and be counted.  [Well ladies, we must do something or it looks like Sluffbunny will "unsheathe his mighty weapon" and then none of us shall be safe  :rofl; ]

I will pledge my allegiance to the Rabble of Treacherous Ladies. COME LADIES purple boas at the ready!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Long live the Kingdom!!!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on June 01, 2008, 02:10:53 PM
Spy satellite photos have shown Sir Ken working out and quite buff. I am not sure if we can take him.  >:D
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on June 01, 2008, 03:21:39 PM
My lovely Lord and Master!! Welcome back to the kingdom.  It really has been too quiet here lately and I think our precious Damn Dame would want us to have some merriment.  She loved laughing and making jokes more that anyone.  Sluff has been trying very hard to keep everyone in line, but Lovely Lady Rose keeps calling him little animal names.    :secret; I think she is trying to get on his good side. Keep him busy Rose, while Romona plans our next attack.  No more porridge!  Yuck! :puke;    I am sure Sluff is very glad to have support again.  And Ken, any new songs? :guitar:   You've been missed my all you ladies in waiting :grouphug;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on June 01, 2008, 06:39:17 PM
Forsooth, I have begun the Revolution with the Purple Feather Boa Brigade!  Arm yourselves with the Purple boa and come hither and yon until we greet one another within the secret meeting place. Sir Ken and Sluffbunny are no match for our wiley minds!

Purple Feather Boa Brigade Unite!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on June 01, 2008, 08:15:12 PM
Sir ken we must put a stop to this Purple Feather Boa Brigade. The members there seem very well organized, but I think we shall strike and strike hard.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on June 01, 2008, 08:34:15 PM
I am taunting you all.  You could not stop a feather if you tried, much less the Purple feather Boa Brigade!    Onward sisters!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: okarol on June 01, 2008, 10:12:22 PM
 :waving;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on June 02, 2008, 02:21:33 AM
Sir Kenneth it is truly magnificent to have you back in the Kingdom after such a time, forsooth I say your ladies have missed you. 

As a Brit myself (and one who only joined when the last uprising was almost ended) I should like to apply for a title, I would not expect anything grand to start out with, but a Lady or Baroness would be nice - what sayeth thee my Lord? 

You are quite right - we do all mourn the loss of the Damn Dame (as you so fondly called her) but she would not want us all to rest on our laurels, come fellow courtiers I say rise up and be counted.  [Well ladies, we must do something or it looks like Sluffbunny will "unsheathe his mighty weapon" and then none of us shall be safe  :rofl; ]

I will pledge my allegiance to the Rabble of Treacherous Ladies. COME LADIES purple boas at the ready!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Long live the Kingdom!!!

Then Arise COUNTESS ROSE. 'Tis though much to my chagrin that your allegience iis to the treacherous Purple Boa Brigade and not to the Pleated Kilt Clan.  :(
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on June 02, 2008, 04:08:43 AM
Oleated Kilt Clan? Are they pappers or something? I think I have their CD.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: monrein on June 02, 2008, 04:14:29 AM
Having just stumbled upon this noble thread and currently being a loyal member of the imposed leisure class of the dialyzor diaspora I would, with utmost humility my lord, seek bestowment  of a title.  Were it not for the inconvenience of the possession of a pair of completely useless scumbag kidneys with the addition of one now defunct kidney by transplantation I feel quite sure that my rise within the ranks would already have been duly noted by your lordship and my station elevated to a status suitable to my temperament.  Use your discretion kind Sir to reward my worthiness with something suitably grand.  Baroness of the Barrenlands holds some appeal for my adventurous spirit. But wait, I presume not to place words in your mouth Sir, I instead remain your faithful liege, until such time that I am in possession of said title and then I may well court the favour of the Purple Boa Brigade.  
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: rose1999 on June 02, 2008, 07:27:00 AM
Thank you Sir Kenneth, I am indeed honoured at the gift of the title of Countess which you have bestowed upon me.  I graciously accept.

I have to pledge my alliegance to the Purple Boa Brigade as the Damn Dame would not rest in peace if a lady should join the Pleated Kilt Clan (and I hope that in true and time honoured fashion those wearing kilts shall henceforth go 'commando' :rofl;).

We shall go forth purple boas blowing (and shedding!!) in the breeze.......Petey ,purveyor of the purple boa ,where art thou, Sir Kenneth must bestow upon thee a suitable title forthwith.

God save the Kingdom!

Countess Rose

p.s. Okarol, where can we get the Tshirts? :2thumbsup;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on June 02, 2008, 07:59:20 AM
Having just stumbled upon this noble thread and currently being a loyal member of the imposed leisure class of the dialyzor diaspora I would, with utmost humility my lord, seek bestowment  of a title.  Were it not for the inconvenience of the possession of a pair of completely useless scumbag kidneys with the addition of one now defunct kidney by transplantation I feel quite sure that my rise within the ranks would already have been duly noted by your lordship and my station elevated to a status suitable to my temperament.  Use your discretion kind Sir to reward my worthiness with something suitably grand.  Baroness of the Barrenlands holds some appeal for my adventurous spirit. But wait, I presume not to place words in your mouth Sir, I instead remain your faithful liege, until such time that I am in possession of said title and then I may well court the favour of the Purple Boa Brigade.  

I have discussed this matter with Her Majesty (Lizzie) and she has agreed to grant you the title of Baronnes Monrein of Barrenboimbingbongbangerland. For thy trials and tribulations you are granted the elevated status of Barroness, please conduct thyself with honour and dignity and always ensure that thou art scantily clad in allegience to the court of King Kenneth and the Pleated Kilt Clan.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on June 02, 2008, 08:11:17 AM
Oleated Kilt Clan? Are they pappers or something? I think I have their CD.

 Romona I said PLEATED not OLEATED. Whats Oleated anyway? Have I said one of those things which are described by two different words whichever side of the pond you live. LIke 'nappies' = 'diapers' If that is the case then in England if a piece of fabric if pressed into strips of about half inch to two inches wide so that if you viewed it end on it would look like wwwwwwwww joined up then those are called pleats.
Kilts are and example of pleating.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: rose1999 on June 02, 2008, 08:55:18 AM
:rofl; :rofl; :rofl; sorry Sir Kenneth I do not wish to be discourteous but I am laughing at your (very accurate really) description of pleating  :rofl; :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: monrein on June 02, 2008, 08:57:32 AM
Oh joy oh bliss I now have a title that befits my aspirations.   Given my age, I will restrict the scanty cladding to copious yards of draped diaphanous fabrics so as not to frighten innocent children in the street nor be mistaken for that most pathetic of aging vixens.....mutton dressed up as lamb.

With gratitude King Kenneth, I remain thy loyal liege

Baroness Monrein of BBBBBland.


Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kevno on June 02, 2008, 10:22:34 AM
A better name for your band of feathers.

Suffragettes Brigade! Kit will remember when the name was used the first time around, When the sister were uprising  ::) Kit and Ms Pankhurst most likely Best of friends in the early   20s :yahoo;

Maybe THE GRANNIES BRIGADE!  :rofl;

Right I'm off before I get attacked with kits big stick.  :Kit n Stik; She is one old mean Lady Kit!


Peasant Kevno :ukflag;

Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: rose1999 on June 02, 2008, 12:31:47 PM
Grannies indeed - we could show you a thing or 2  :rofl; OFF WITH HIS HEAD  :rofl; :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on June 02, 2008, 02:11:21 PM
Oleated Kilt Clan? Are they pappers or something? I think I have their CD.

 Romona I said PLEATED not OLEATED. Whats Oleated anyway? Have I said one of those things which are described by two different words whichever side of the pond you live. LIke 'nappies' = 'diapers' If that is the case then in England if a piece of fabric if pressed into strips of about half inch to two inches wide so that if you viewed it end on it would look like wwwwwwwww joined up then those are called pleats.
Kilts are and example of pleating.
I was typing in the dark. It came out all wrong. Can you describe a dart as used to make a garment fit the body?  :rofl; :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: monrein on June 02, 2008, 04:22:09 PM
What should be done about this insolent cur called Kevno?  Must we endure the darts and arrows of his poisonous tongue?  His lack of respect for those of higher station is shocking in the extreme but not surprising due to his ignoble rank.  Lady Emmeline Pankhurst would concur I suspect although she was of course nothing but a courageous and persistent commoner.
I would suggest, my lords and ladies, that we send this Kevno  for a week's idle in the stocks and should that not cure his insolence, we could have his tongue, the very tool of his disrespect cut out just prior to the public beheading which Countess Rose so wisely advises.  His silence would thusly be assured and our ears and sensibilities forevermore protected.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on June 02, 2008, 06:25:48 PM
Talk about no mercy.  Sir Ken we must save our mate kevno before it is too late.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on June 02, 2008, 06:31:05 PM
Too late. He can't be saved, but he can be ransomed. Do I hear a brand new toyota and a tank of gas?
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kevno on June 02, 2008, 09:28:53 PM
My Ransome as gone up last time it was two chickens. Plus a week in the stocks (IS THAT ALL) it's the only chance I have getting some decent food  :2thumbsup;

But don't worry I am of to Sherwood Forest to hide, from the mean Old Grannies. There is only one problem I can see with that the Sheriffess of Nottingham :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: thegrammalady on June 02, 2008, 09:32:23 PM
mean old grannies, whatever do you mean?  there isn't a mean bone in my body (well maybe if i don't get my tea)
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: rose1999 on June 02, 2008, 11:31:04 PM
Too late. He can't be saved, but he can be ransomed. Do I hear a brand new Toyota and a tank of gas?

With the price of fuel here in the UK I think a tank of gas may be too high price to ask. :rofl;................but it all depends on you, our Knights and Lords, how much does the cur Kevno mean to you?  What is his worth my Lords?  Do we have any advance on a Toyota, a tank of gas and 2 chickens..................or is it to the stocks with Kevno................

Sherwood Forest you say...........well you can run but you can't hide................ the Sheriffess of Nottingham will see to that. [Or if not her then my Auntie Joan who lives at Bilborough...].

I'm off now on my trusty steed to put bread upon the table, but I shall be back anon to ensure that the Ladies of the Purple Boa Brigade are gathered as one to go forth and ................oh.... do whatever purple boa brigades do  :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on June 03, 2008, 05:27:50 AM
Fear not Lord Kevno (Have I given you a title yet?) well I have now,

ARISE SIR KEVNO OF KEVNOTTINGHAM HALL!

We shall come to your rescue. As I speak Viscount Sluff is riding to your aid on his bicycle of fire and I will mount my trusting thrusting stallion (if he doesn't mount me first) and we will meet you in the forest next to the "*?#~^*/& Viscount Sluff will send you the code cipher by semaphore.

You will be safe with us from the Purple Boa mean Old Grannies brigade for they are  greatly in fear of the Viscount's Mighty Weapon. From our rendezvous we will ride to the castle where your safety is guaranteed (they won't fool us with baby oil again.) where we will partake in a grand banquet smoke the leafy compound and have sex with goats.  :sir ken;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on June 03, 2008, 05:33:29 AM
Too late. He can't be saved, but he can be ransomed. Do I hear a brand new toyota and a tank of gas?

Which is worth more, the tank of gas or the new Toyota.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: monrein on June 03, 2008, 06:52:42 AM
Attention farmers of the realm!!  Gather ye goats while ye may.  There are those abroad in the land that would sow their wild oats with thine goats.  Mayhem will ensue if ye fail to heed the warming and ensure goat safety.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: rose1999 on June 03, 2008, 09:36:16 AM
Viscount Sluffbunny's mighty weapon doesn't scare us (nothing scares me after that porn I accidentally looked at on here the other day, pertaining to be about cricket!!).............it may make us laugh though  :rofl; :rofl;  And I think the goats are a bit worried...........come Purple Boa Gang, join with myself and the Baroness Monrein and let us go forth and rid our Kingdom of these insufferable knights....before they get our goats  ;)
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on June 03, 2008, 12:37:52 PM
Attention farmers of the realm!!  Gather ye goats while ye may.  There are those abroad in the land that would sow their wild oats with thine goats.  Mayhem will ensue if ye fail to heed the warming and ensure goat safety.

 :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;
Most goats of the realm are safe. We only go for the obedient and good looking ones  :bandance; :bandance; :rofl; :rofl;  What say you Viscount.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on June 03, 2008, 12:47:54 PM
Lord Kevno you do not reply. Are you held by the Purple Boas traitors so they be before we have had chance to rescue thee?
 
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on June 03, 2008, 01:58:13 PM
Try as you might, you will never find him. Don't look for him at the mall holding our purses while we try on mountains of shoes. >:D
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on June 03, 2008, 03:36:31 PM
Hmmmm when you talk about goats, are you talking about the "old goats" that think they are in charge of the kingdom?
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: thegrammalady on June 03, 2008, 03:53:29 PM
hmmmm just because i have a purple boa, doesn't make me a mean old grannie. (jaden, chayton, declan and damian would simply be crushed it that were true)
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on June 03, 2008, 07:30:12 PM
I am in agreement with you master Sir Ken.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kevno on June 03, 2008, 11:35:22 PM
Still in hiding. will never be found.  :yahoo; Apart from the times i have to go to the Town for my medicine :beer1; See the Purple Boa mean grannies brigade. I will know what to do :sir ken; :oops; :boxing; ;D 
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on June 04, 2008, 04:18:53 AM
Curses Kevno, how did you get away from the Avon ladies? They were supposed to watch you and give you make up tips.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on June 04, 2008, 06:34:02 AM
Alas the Avon ladies who were supposed to be watching Sir Kev were tempted by Sir Ken and Sir Sluffington into mischief created by some goat herd they had. Lady Kitkat saw the commotion while trying on a pair of shoes that would have matched the Purple Feather Boa.  She gave chase, but the men were faster and the goats were scary!


Any way The Brigade of the Purple Feather Boa shall ride onward to reap the benefits of the realm of Sir Ken.  (Or just pillage the villages in the area around the castle until our wants and demands are met!)


Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on June 04, 2008, 07:05:54 AM
The land of old goats and grannies-------well, that is probably closer to the truth than the royal titles----------but I like the fantasy better. Reality stinks!   So, I am ready for my tea and crumpets now, whenever the help is ready to serve it. :clap;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: okarol on June 04, 2008, 08:49:11 AM
Alas the Avon ladies who were supposed to be watching Sir Kev were tempted by Sir Ken and Sir Sluffington into mischief created by some goat herd they had. Lady Kitkat saw the commotion while trying on a pair of shoes that would have matched the Purple Feather Boa.  She gave chase, but the men were faster and the goats were scary!


Any way The Brigade of the Purple Feather Boa shall ride onward to reap the benefits of the realm of Sir Ken.  (Or just pillage the villages in the area around the castle until our wants and demands are met!)




They outran you this time Kit, but keep an eye out - a security camera recorded their escape.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: rose1999 on June 04, 2008, 09:01:46 AM
Ahh they were true Scots after all  I see. 


Lady Kitkat, I have found shoes to match thy boa and (if this new fangled technology works ) I may have attached a picture of them.  All ladies of the realm shall henceforth be entitled to a pair and Sir Kenneth will foot the bill (no pun intended)!!!!!!

Come Purple Boa Brigade, we may have lost Kevno (and only he knows that he was in fact wearing the Avon lipstick and purple eye shadow when he fled) but we can soon snare a Sluffbunny...or an unsuspecting Uniballer who has yet to put his head above the parapet.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kevno on June 04, 2008, 09:44:08 AM
Somebody say tea and crumpets :P Hope you put jam on :2thumbsup;

Those Avon ladies will never catch me on them zimmer frames. I'm to quick with my trusted Steed Tornado. Well he getting on a bit so I have renamed him "Puff of Wind" He once belonged to Lady Kitkat Godiva. When she did that famous ride through the streets of Coventry :secret;

Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: monrein on June 04, 2008, 10:04:31 AM
OOHH   My dear Countess Rose,  what divine footwear thou hast uncovered and with which the ladies of the Brigade shall to a woman clad their delicate feet.  Most divine of all (though please do not think me bellicose of nature) is the dual purpose to which those formidable heels may be put.  My mind wanders to defensive kicks swiftly dealt to the more roguish gentlemen (I use the term lightly) of the realm....those silly goats who dare to label our fair sex old ladies.  THE NERVE.  

They distract us with goats but we shall have the last kick and bring them to their knees but if they treat us with the respect due our noble rank we may agree to suspend hostilities for a night on the town with dancing and merriment.  Let them believe we are "obedient" as we charm them with our wiles.  What sayst thee lovely ladies of the empire??  

Oh there he is that scoundrel K and his Puff of Wind.  Taunting to the end.  I say we not give chase directly but rather lure him and his companions in with the promise of a nice High Tea.

Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on July 26, 2008, 09:29:02 PM
I am paging Sir Ken  :sir ken; back to this thread immediately.  I have a few royal questions for him. After all he named me DUCHESS KITKATZ EMPRESS OF CHOCOLATE BARS. I need to know if you have recovered from the spending spree at Harrod's and if it is my turn to go, yet? I have a few wants and needs, as well as a need for high tea in the afternoon.  Please send one or more of your credit cards with the limousine as soon as possible to meet me at Heathrow Airport. I will be sporting the purple boa and high heels. 
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: rose1999 on July 26, 2008, 11:47:13 PM
My Dearest Empress Kitkatz, here is a nice purple bag to carry the chocolate bars through Heathrow..............I thougth it went nicely with the shoes and boa (hope it attaches as one is not very good at attachments, being a Countess and normally having a butler to do these things). 

I will arrange for the red carpet to be rolled out at Heathrow if you would kindly advise of your arrival date.

If any other lady of the Purple Boa Brigade woudl like one of these bags then it can go on Sir Ken's credit card................see you all in Harrods!

Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on July 27, 2008, 07:08:42 AM
We are just a purple bunch.  :flower;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: rose1999 on July 27, 2008, 07:37:12 AM
Oh Sluffbunny when I saw your name as the last one to post I thought you'd dropped in to ask for a purple bag (to go with the shoes and boa that we know you have hidden away)  :rofl; :bunny:
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on July 27, 2008, 07:42:17 AM
 :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on July 27, 2008, 09:17:47 AM
 :secret;  you weren't supposed to expose my deepest fantasy like that.  :boxing;  ;)
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: rose1999 on July 27, 2008, 10:32:18 AM
 :oops;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on July 27, 2008, 11:21:50 AM
Oh the lovely Kingdom of Sir Ken.   Kitkatz, Ken may never recover from the damage done to his credit cards!   Hmmmm--I wonder if he has a store account at Harrod's that we can just charge it to there?  Sir Ken, you are missed by all your lovely ladies in waiting!  And not just for your credit cards!! :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on July 27, 2008, 06:57:03 PM
If I cannot have a shopping spree at Harrod's with Sir Ken's credit cards, I am going to cry large alligator tears for a week.  However I love the purple bag, it goes lovely with the shoes and the boa.  Now a search for the perfect garment to wear with it.  I cannot arrive in England naked.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on July 29, 2008, 04:37:25 PM
Here is the dress I have found to go with the shoes and bag.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on July 29, 2008, 04:52:08 PM
Absolutely gorgeous! :2thumbsup;  You certainly will be a vision of purple.     Now, where is Sir Ken?  Maybe he is making plans for your arrival!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on July 29, 2008, 06:41:46 PM
He's working 4 jobs to pay off his credit cards!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on July 29, 2008, 06:53:49 PM
Romona, :secret; if Kitkatz is getting new clothes, maybe we need to spiff up our wardrobes?  She might catch Ken's eye and then our meal ticket will be gone!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on July 29, 2008, 08:59:20 PM
I need to find someones credit cards to use.   :(
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on July 29, 2008, 09:00:10 PM
Too late, I have claimed Sir Ken's credit cards for the dress, shoes and hand bag!  You ladies will have to deal with the Viscount Sir Sluffington.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: rose1999 on July 29, 2008, 10:33:05 PM
I love the dress , Kit will look fantastic, a vision in purple, but don't forget we have Kevno's card (taken when we had him in captivity) and I think we other ladies of the Realm all need one of these if we are to catch the eye of a gallant Knight.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on July 30, 2008, 04:42:21 AM
I like that Sir Sluffington.. :rofl; I think maybe Rose might let me have her credit cards, she likes me.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on July 30, 2008, 04:44:07 AM
I will meet you girls at Mall of America.  :yahoo;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: rose1999 on July 30, 2008, 08:14:40 AM
I like that Sir Sluffington.. :rofl; I think maybe Rose might let me have her credit cards, she likes me.

Don't tell then ALL that I like you, I'm trying to keep it secret  :rofl;

Sir Sluffington?  Hmmm yes suits you sir!!! But you'll always be Sluffbunny to me  :bunny:

Go on then, you can have my Tesco clubcard  :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on July 30, 2008, 09:26:06 AM
 :secret;
I like that Sir Sluffington.. :rofl; I think maybe Rose might let me have her credit cards, she likes me.

Don't tell then ALL that I like you, I'm trying to keep it secret :rofl;

Sir Sluffington? Hmmm yes suits you sir!!! But you'll always be Sluffbunny to me :bunny:

Go on then, you can have my Tesco clubcard :rofl;


Your secret safe with me!

Hey Paris, Did you read all of this? Tell Kitkat and the others!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: rose1999 on July 30, 2008, 10:10:25 AM
I don't think any of you have opened the doc1.doc attachment to my previous post (starting 'I love the dress').................Come on Romona, Paris, Kitkat, Monrein and other Ladies of the Realm,   have a look and see what else I've found us to wear ............... we will look gorgeous, with these we shall be able to lure those Knight, Lords and Noblemen into our lairs, steal their credit cards and make merry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mind you, I don't seem to be able to actually post it other than as an attachment, perhaps someone can help, I'll attach it again,



Edited: Fixed attachment - okarol/admin
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on July 30, 2008, 12:33:26 PM
Rose, watch out for Sir Sluffington. He is a smooth talker, but please don't be lured to the dark side.

And about that purple top!  NO one wants to see me in that top---well maybe if I have a long sleeve t-shirt under it!  Even that wouldn't be a pretty sight.   But, this is a fantasy kingdom,  so maybe I will wear it! :rofl;

Romona, what shall we do to keep sweet Rose from being under Sir Sluffington's powerful personality?     Once again, the women of the kingdom need to unite.  Stand together, be strong.   Now this is where Susie would be asking who has the leafy green stuff!!

Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on July 30, 2008, 02:15:37 PM
Snap out of it Rose.  :Kit n Stik;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: monrein on July 30, 2008, 03:00:19 PM
Oooh, mine toes curl merely at the notion of the handsomeness of that royal purple foundation garment,  especially befitting as it would match a bruised fistula so handsomely.   
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on July 30, 2008, 08:16:57 PM
Oooh, mine toes curl merely at the notion of the handsomeness of that royal purple foundation garment,  especially befitting as it would match a bruised fistula so handsomely.   

I wouldn't be looking at the bruised fistula.. :rofl; this garment is a great diversion technique, I think all the ladies should wear this.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on August 01, 2008, 06:09:23 AM
Ladies ladies I didn't realise until now that this thread had sprung back to life. If so I would have warned you not to use my credit cards. I am a victim of ye credit crunch, I am maxed out on my cards and being refused credit. Now  I am isolated and alone (the goats only wanted me for my money) I pray for Viscount Sluffington and Sir Kevno to come to my aid.

So you can just jolly well march back to all those posh shops you've been to and return your shoes and purple bags and stuff before I become bankrupt. Now if you don't mind I have to speak to a man who can arrange castle remorgages!  :sir ken;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on August 01, 2008, 06:33:42 AM
SIr KEn, the dress was on sale as were the handbag and shoes.  I cannot take them back.  You are now stuck with the outrageous bill. I get down on my knees and apologize to you for wiping you out. I humbly beg forgiveness.  But I do look good in the outfit!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: rose1999 on August 01, 2008, 07:18:04 AM
I am sorry Sir Ken but Harrods will only accept returns if the goods are faulty and as you can see they are way from faulty  :rofl;  And we do look gorgeous in them :flower;

Fear not, we your purple boa brigade, will immediately begin to bake cakes with files in to send to you in ye olde Tower !!

[Hey Ladies of the Purple Boa Brigade, if Viscount Sluffington (when did he get promoted?) and Sir Kevno do go to Sir Ken's aid then we shall have them all in one place to snare with our wiles  :2thumbsup; ]
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on August 01, 2008, 10:53:35 AM
I'm on my way to the rescue Sir Ken, oh boy do I have a plan for the ladies... :secret; We will restore all your credit cards and have money left over for party favours.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on August 01, 2008, 06:51:24 PM
I'm on my way to the rescue Sir Ken, oh boy do I have a plan for the ladies... :secret; We will restore all your credit cards and have money left over for party favours.
Sluff, are you selling squirrel shampoo again? That must be how you are getting the cash to bail Sir Ken out of his money woes.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on August 01, 2008, 09:27:04 PM
The Viscount ought a motorcycle and therefore has no money. However he can ride in style to the rescue of his male cohorts.  Onward Sir Sluffington!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on August 01, 2008, 09:44:19 PM
To the rescue............ :bow;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on August 05, 2008, 08:37:27 AM
Anybody out there willing to lend me a few bob.

(Translation 'BOB' is slang for the pre-metric old money 1 shilling and now metric 5 pence but ' a few bob' is still used in Britain as slang for a lot of money)

Ladies I think you all owe me a few bob!!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: thegrammalady on August 05, 2008, 08:38:58 AM
if i do, is there tea and strawberry jam in for me. (scones too)
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on August 05, 2008, 08:44:17 AM
Of course I'll even through in some English muffins.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on August 05, 2008, 09:02:57 AM
Of course I'll even through in some English muffins.
My my, so charming. Don't trust him.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on August 05, 2008, 09:28:35 AM
 :rofl; :rofl; just wait til we release our plan...ha ha ha
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: rose1999 on August 05, 2008, 10:15:22 AM
I can make raspberry scones, they are delicious (even if I do say so myself)...................Perhaps we should call a truce with the gentlemen (I use that term loosely  :rofl;) and all sit down to a fine 'English cream tea'.................. what say you Lords and Ladies??
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on August 05, 2008, 10:22:47 AM
Good idea, Rose.      :secret; Lure them into the web with the offer of raspberry scones.     We shall stuff them and have our way with them!! They will never know what hit them  :Kit n Stik;     :2thumbsup;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on August 05, 2008, 12:58:40 PM
Oh yes.  Let us lure them in the parlor, said the spider to the fly.

Muhahahahahahahah!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on August 05, 2008, 04:20:51 PM
Have your way with them?  :( I thought I was all you needed.. ;) >:D
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: thegrammalady on August 05, 2008, 04:28:31 PM
yummy - raspberry scones do you have a recipe. (believe it or not i do, do more than just eat)
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on August 05, 2008, 04:35:08 PM
Can I get a wine cooler and strawberry shortcake?
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on August 05, 2008, 06:28:25 PM
I want the recipe too!

Romona, yes you can have the wine cooler!   :secret; How are the plans coming along on your end?





EDITED: Fixed smiley error - Sluff/Admin
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on August 05, 2008, 07:17:58 PM
I can't reveal my plans just yet. I was watching a re-run of McGyver. Let's just say it involves a gym sock, paperclip, a ball point pen and a Hershey Bar. The Hershey Bar has nothing to do with the plan. I am just hungry.  :bandance;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on August 05, 2008, 07:41:08 PM
I thought a paperclip, a ball point pen and a sock were the weapons of mass torture we were going to use on the men?
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: monrein on August 06, 2008, 06:26:10 AM
I heartily concur with the suggestion of a lovely and dare we say civilized cream tea.  I say dare we say only because of the stupifyingly scurrilous nature of the lords of this cyber realm, as the charm, delicacy and civility of the ladies is above reproach.  Even purple,beaded, fringed, destructively seductive foundation under garments cannot subtract from their genteel and sensitive souls whilst the "gentlemen" just swagger and try to escape their bills.  Invite them if we must but then I must insist that we tie them up prior to the taking of tea and scones as then we will avoid their possible treachery and be free to inflict our own gentle torture to tame these barbarous beasties.

I'll be having two orders of raspberry scones, please and thank you.  Romona, details of your plan intrigue and fascinate.  Reveal whenever you see fit.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on August 06, 2008, 08:18:09 AM
I heartily concur with the suggestion of a lovely and dare we say civilized cream tea.  I say dare we say only because of the stupifyingly scurrilous nature of the lords of this cyber realm, as the charm, delicacy and civility of the ladies is above reproach.  Even purple,beaded, fringed, destructively seductive foundation under garments cannot subtract from their genteel and sensitive souls whilst the "gentlemen" just swagger and try to escape their bills.  Invite them if we must but then I must insist that we tie them up prior to the taking of tea and scones as then we will avoid their possible treachery and be free to inflict our own gentle torture to tame these barbarous beasties.

I'll be having two orders of raspberry scones, please and thank you.  Romona, details of your plan intrigue and fascinate.  Reveal whenever you see fit.

The Barbarous Beasties say BRING IT ON!! 8) :guitar: :sir ken; :bandance; :bandance;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: rose1999 on August 06, 2008, 09:13:24 AM
Raspberry scones (it's an English recipe so hope you can translate into USA or metric!)

10oz plain flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
2 oz butter
2oz caster sugar
1 egg
Milk to mix
Fresh or forzen raspberries (frozen work best) about half a punnet, but however many you like really!
Put flour, baking powder, sugar and butter into a bowl and rub together until like breadcrumbs (don't use a mixer, you need to feel the texture).  Add the egg and then a little milk and work into a dough, add more milk if necessary until it is solid, not crumbly and not wet (trial and error comes in here and you get to eat all the ones that go wrong  >:D)  Roll out to about an inch thick and cut into rounds (or just shape with your hands) and bake at 200 C for around 20 minutes.  Delicious on their own but also good with butter and/or cream.  OR If you are a real pig (like me) warm with a little home made vanilla ice cream...............hmmmmmmmmm

 :secret; bet that will lure them into our lair...........let's face it if neither this nor the gorgeous purple underwear works then they are not the men we thought they were.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on August 06, 2008, 09:38:08 AM
Oh Rose, put me down as lured I can never get enough of scones. :bow; :bow; :bow;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on August 06, 2008, 09:58:52 AM
Yeah!  We now know the way into Ken's heart. :2thumbsup;  Start baking ladies; the other men will follow :thumbup;   
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: rose1999 on August 06, 2008, 11:31:00 AM
Ar last we have found our way into their hearts.   :bandance;

Ken you must let Rita have this recipe, it really is delicious, my son got it from a local wholefood cafe when he had a weekend job there (he works at a Michelin Star place now!).  They really are very moreish :2thumbsup;

I don't know why I said you must let Rita have it, come to think of it you should bake some for Rita (Germaine Greer would hate me  :rofl; )
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: thegrammalady on August 06, 2008, 02:18:19 PM
oh scones, delish, i'm off to bake and i have fresh raspberries in the back yard.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: monrein on August 06, 2008, 02:26:13 PM
Sounds fab, Rose, I just need to know how much is in a punnet. 
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on August 06, 2008, 02:52:35 PM
I do not bake.  What ever shall I do?  Puts hand to forehead. I think I shall divvy up the chocolate!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: rose1999 on August 06, 2008, 11:31:40 PM
Sounds fab, Rose, I just need to know how much is in a punnet. 

I knew someone would ask, now I've had to get off my  :sir ken; and look in the fridge  :rofl;
It's around 200 grams for raspberries but thinking about it a good big handful is probably the amount you need...........................all you need now is to find someone with a nice big hand  :rofl;
All I do is keep adding until it looks enough!
Kitkat don't worry these are really easy, you don't need to be good at baking, honestly. Perhaps one of our trusty knights may ride to your rescue, some of the best chefs are men (so Gordon Ramsey would have us believe).  But if you still have chocolate then I think you have the trump card, you coudl melt it and make chocolate sauce to go with the scones  :2thumbsup;

What's that I hear, is it the stampede of gallant Knights rushing to the kitchen door, lured by the delicious smells wafting out?  We will soon have them eating at our feet  :clap;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on August 07, 2008, 03:16:38 AM
Ar last we have found our way into their hearts.   :bandance;

Ken you must let Rita have this recipe, it really is delicious, my son got it from a local wholefood cafe when he had a weekend job there (he works at a Michelin Star place now!).  They really are very moreish :2thumbsup;

I don't know why I said you must let Rita have it, come to think of it you should bake some for Rita (Germaine Greer would hate me  :rofl; )

Rose,
Rita loves cooking but hates baking and she won't let me do anything in the kitchen because she says I make too much mess.  ::) But I'll have to try your recipe. Maybe if I offered to help her bake?
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: rose1999 on August 07, 2008, 09:16:58 AM
Possibly if you offered to help her she would find that she can manage alone.................there's one thing I've never understood, perhaps you can explain - why do men need at least 2 pans, 3 bowls, a plate, several knives and a cup just to make a sandwich  :rofl; It's as much of a conundrum as the fact that ther's always a teaspoon at the bottom of the washing up bowl even when you haven't used one!!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on August 07, 2008, 04:53:16 PM
I think men can be much better cooks than women sometimes.  :clap;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on August 07, 2008, 04:56:39 PM
Okay, then, let's get the men to cook for us!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on August 07, 2008, 06:11:46 PM
No porridge and No Jello!!   We fell for that once, never again!  We want quiche!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: rose1999 on August 07, 2008, 10:39:41 PM
Don't they say real men don't eat quiche?  Yay, that means they can cook it and we can eat it  :clap;

Bags I don't do the washing up though, they are bound to create 3 times more than we would (or is that an English trait?)  :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on August 08, 2008, 05:30:45 AM
Possibly if you offered to help her she would find that she can manage alone.................there's one thing I've never understood, perhaps you can explain - why do men need at least 2 pans, 3 bowls, a plate, several knives and a cup just to make a sandwich  :rofl; It's as much of a conundrum as the fact that ther's always a teaspoon at the bottom of the washing up bowl even when you haven't used one!!

Why do all women say this about men and why can't women leave the toilet seat up? Oh and I hate quiche  :puke;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: okarol on August 08, 2008, 08:54:48 AM


Man in apron cooking - yep - very sexy.  ;D
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on August 08, 2008, 09:40:10 AM
How about steak and kidney pie?  That seems like an appropriate dish for all of us!  The men can cook anything they want.  I agree with Okarol--men in aprons :2thumbsup;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: carla13 on August 08, 2008, 02:13:18 PM
Hi!
New to the boards and a Brit! Now, i haven't read all the pages of this thread (C'mon there's 43 of them!) but I'm afraid that I have to disappoint you Ken with my total ignorance of football - or any other sport for that matter... but I'm definitely British (living in Chester)

xx
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: monrein on August 08, 2008, 03:27:05 PM
Once you've read all 43 pages Carla13, you might like to request an appropriate title from Sir Kenneth, lord of the realm.  His mood occasionally permits the granting of titles.
Yours truly, The Baroness Monrein.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on August 08, 2008, 06:53:02 PM
I think we should start a revolt until we force all women to obey the man law of leaving the toilet seat in the upright position. ;)
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: monrein on August 08, 2008, 07:01:45 PM
Now Sluff (baby) let's think this through....one man and one woman in a bathroom.  Each uses the toilet for two functions.  That's four functions total, three of the four requires the seated position, only one is done standing up.  Clearly, logically, the only solution is for men to sit down and relax when taking a pee. :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on August 08, 2008, 07:04:25 PM
Now Sluff (baby) let's think this through....one man and one woman in a bathroom.  Each uses the toilet for two functions.  That's four functions total, three of the four requires the seated position, only one is done standing up.  Clearly, logically, the only solution is for men to sit down and relax when taking a pee. :rofl;


You are just picking on me. ;)
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: monrein on August 08, 2008, 07:09:12 PM
Of course I am, I like to practice all of my skills regularly.  And you know that you love being picked on.  :guitar:
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on August 09, 2008, 06:59:49 AM
Now Sluff (baby) let's think this through....one man and one woman in a bathroom.  Each uses the toilet for two functions.  That's four functions total, three of the four requires the seated position, only one is done standing up.  Clearly, logically, the only solution is for men to sit down and relax when taking a pee. :rofl;

If we sit down for a pee how would we reach the toilet bowl? And my bathroom floor is very cold to sit on! :sir ken;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: monrein on August 09, 2008, 07:59:09 AM
You'll manage to reach the bowl...aim is the word, aim for the bowl....just like you do when standing up.  You'll probably achieve roughly the same rate of accuracy in either position.  Roughly 50% I reckon.

And of course, from a menopausal female perspective, that cold floor sounds like a real treat. :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on August 09, 2008, 10:45:49 AM
If I sit down i afraid I might drown.  :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on August 09, 2008, 05:54:25 PM
Put the seat down and you will not drown.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on August 13, 2008, 03:25:06 AM
The female population won't be happy until the entire world male population sits down to pee!
Gentlemen of the realm STAND UP AND PEE COUNTED
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on August 13, 2008, 09:15:53 AM
I am appalled at all this potty language!
 :rofl;

Guys just walk outside go to the first tree on your right, do your business and leave the toilet seat in the house alone.
Men should be banished from bathrooms. Ladies have you ever missed the seat in the middle of the night because a man in your life left the toilet seat up?

Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on August 13, 2008, 11:26:22 AM
 "Pee counted"  :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on August 13, 2008, 04:46:21 PM
I pee standing up and thats just the way it is...... :thumbup; I'm removing the toilet seat.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on August 14, 2008, 03:16:43 AM
Good for you Sluff lets PEE strong about this! :bandance; :bandance; :bandance;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on August 14, 2008, 03:23:17 AM
Hi!
New to the boards and a Brit! Now, i haven't read all the pages of this thread (C'mon there's 43 of them!) but I'm afraid that I have to disappoint you Ken with my total ignorance of football - or any other sport for that matter... but I'm definitely British (living in Chester)

xx

Carla I've been meaning to reply to you so now welcome to the court of King Kenneth. I hope thy will pledge thine allegence to the gentlemen of the court and not to the rebellious purple boa toilet seat down brigade. I do recomend that you read the posts from the beginning as there are some hilarious contributions and well worth a read.
So Arise COUNTESS CARLA OF CHESTER!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on August 14, 2008, 05:15:59 AM
Collect and burn the toilet seats and roast your marshmellows, stand united!!  Welcome Countess Carla!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Hawkeye on August 14, 2008, 07:42:46 AM
Though I like a good campfire and roasting marshmallows there is just something gross about roasting marshmallows on a campfire of burning used toilet seats that really makes me want to  :puke;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on August 14, 2008, 09:19:08 AM
Though I like a good campfire and roasting marshmallows there is just something gross about roasting marshmallows on a campfire of burning used toilet seats that really makes me want to :puke;

I won't comment about a roasted weinie.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on August 14, 2008, 09:32:08 AM
Good one Romona!! :rofl; :rofl;

Carla, don't go to the dark side!  Please don't fall for the men's smooth talk.  The women must stand strong together :grouphug;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: rose1999 on August 14, 2008, 10:38:47 AM
Paris of course means that the women must sit strong together - it's the men who stand, Paris  :rofl; :rofl;

Countess Carla don't be taken in by their charm and promises, it's the purple boa brigade for all ladies - particularly us English ladies. Just look back over these pages and see the gorgeous shoes, boas, bags and underwear you will be entitled to wear!!!! You will look as gorgeous as we do :2thumbsup;

Welcome to the Purple Boa Brigade  :flower;
Countess Rose
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: monrein on August 14, 2008, 11:24:32 AM
I, for one, will smile with wicked glee as the "gentlemen" (pardon my loose use of the term) having removed their toilet seats, fall one by one into their privies as they attempt to squat over said privies to do their "other" business there.  My laughter will only be greater should they attempt THAT standing up.  It is truly befuddling to me that for centuries they've been referred to as the superior sex.  Hogwash, stuff and rubbish. 

We ladies of course know that to stand is plebian, to sit divine and so united we SIT.
 :flower;  Note ladies the gentle purplish hue of this bloom.  Auspicious indeed.

Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: carla13 on August 14, 2008, 03:46:01 PM
I pray you! Argue not over the whys and wherefores of privvy use! Let us join together and gang up on those in our fair land who can pee WHENEVER THEY WANT! for surely they are the enemy!
Can't you see my renal brothers and sisters that the 'normals' want us to squabble amongst ourselves so that they may use the 'loo' whenever they desire? Let us take away their toilets so that they may be left hopping in desperation while we take over the world!
Mu hah hah hahhhhhhhhhhhh!

Countess Carla of Chester

Thanks King Kenneth I love it!!
xx :beer1;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on August 14, 2008, 03:51:02 PM
mere hogwash... burn the seats and watch as the ladies get their behinds wet.... :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on August 14, 2008, 05:25:07 PM
This sit or stand thing is getting us nowhere.  :rofl;


I guess while the gentlemen are dismantling toilets, the ladies regain control! :yahoo;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on August 14, 2008, 06:17:16 PM
It is really isn't a valid point because many don't pee at all! 

Yeah, Carla!  So glad you didn't fall for the men's tricks and stand (sit) tall with the wonderful women of this lovely kingdom.  You fit right in!

  :secret; We are always in control!  There are moments we might let the men think they are, but we know the truth.



EDITED: Fixed smiley error - Sluff/Admin



Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on August 14, 2008, 07:07:22 PM
Romona and Paris can have control of me anytime.  >:D
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on August 14, 2008, 08:33:39 PM
How about this: we dismantle their privy and roast their weenies in the fire we create with it?
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on August 15, 2008, 05:32:42 AM
Has anyone tried Rose's Scones recipe yet. I am thinking of having ago myself. I am at present in delicate negotiatons with Rita about me using the kitchen.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on August 15, 2008, 10:07:14 AM
My 10 yr old grand-daughter is staying a couple of days with me next week and she loves scones, so I think we are going to give Rose's recipe a try.    Tell Rita that you promise to clean up after you are done! 

Kitkatz, sounds like a plan :2thumbsup;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: rose1999 on August 16, 2008, 03:34:48 AM
Tell Rita you will clean up after AND you will let her eat one while it is warm.............she will agree to anything then.  Ken & Paris do let me know what you think of them, I hope you enjoy them as much as we do, you can use blueberries in place of raspberries.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on August 22, 2008, 03:18:46 AM
Rita will let me use the kitchen as long as I remember to put the toilet seat down after I've used the bathroom. She drives a hard bargain!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on August 22, 2008, 04:45:11 AM
 :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: rose1999 on August 22, 2008, 10:28:19 AM
 :rofl; :rofl; (Hope she makes you wash your hands in between those 2 actions  :rofl;)
Have you tried the scones yet??????
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on August 22, 2008, 03:45:55 PM
Ok the ladies win but when I pee I'm not raising the seat.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: monrein on August 22, 2008, 04:13:31 PM
But you'll wipe it right?    :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: okarol on August 22, 2008, 09:31:48 PM
Ok the ladies win but when I pee I'm not raising the seat.

You're out in the yard anyway so it's not a problem.  :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: rose1999 on August 22, 2008, 10:45:07 PM
But you'll wipe it right?    :rofl;
And mop the floor  :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on August 23, 2008, 05:03:22 AM
Are you kidding.. :rofl;  You ladies never quit, I was trying to make peace, give an inch and you take a foot.  :)
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: pelagia on August 23, 2008, 07:04:27 AM
Rose, where is the scone recipe?  I tried to find it with no luck...

Sluff, they make automatic things that put the seat down for those who are forgetful...
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: rose1999 on August 23, 2008, 09:59:37 AM
Rose, where is the scone recipe?  I tried to find it with no luck...


It's about 4 pages back, but here it is again - let me know if you try it

10oz plain flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
2 oz butter
2oz caster sugar
1 egg
Milk to mix
Fresh or frozen raspberries (frozen work best) about half a punnet (I think we decided a punnet was about 450 grams in a laetr post!), but however many you like really!
Put flour, baking powder, sugar and butter into a bowl and rub together until like breadcrumbs (don't use a mixer, you need to feel the texture).  Add the egg and then a little milk and work into a dough, add more milk if necessary until it is solid, not crumbly and not wet (trial and error comes in here and you get to eat all the ones that go wrong  )  Roll out to about an inch thick and cut into rounds (or just shape with your hands) and bake at 200 C for around 20 minutes (less if you have a fan oven).  Delicious on their own but also good with butter and/or cream.  OR If you are a real pig (like me) warm with a little home made vanilla ice cream...............hmmmmmmmmm

KEN - have you tried these yet or are you still practising putting the seat down  :rofl; Rita sounds like a good recruit for the Purple Boa Brigade  :2thumbsup;


Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: okarol on August 23, 2008, 11:29:28 AM

I think 200 C is equal to approximately 400 degrees Fahrenheit.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: okarol on August 23, 2008, 11:41:05 AM

Ken - If you could get these young ladies to attend the next Kidney Walk in the UK, it sure would give some visibility to your team!

PHOTO: Members of People for Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) take part in a protest against the use of bear skin to make hats for the British Royal Guard, in front of the British embassy in Belgrade July 31, 2008.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on August 24, 2008, 06:41:32 AM
I think i recognize the lady on the right's tush. Is that Twirl? and Romona on the left?  :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on August 24, 2008, 07:14:40 AM
I was taking the picture. :pics; Believe it or not the one on the left is Ken and the one on the right is indeed Twirl. Ken works out. He does Buns of Steel everyday.

 :bandance;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on August 24, 2008, 07:43:48 PM
I was taking the picture. :pics; Believe it or not the one on the left is Ken and the one on the right is indeed Twirl. Ken works out. He does Buns of Steel everyday.

 :bandance;

I believe it.  :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on August 26, 2008, 08:10:36 AM
But you'll wipe it right?    :rofl;

Are we talking about wiping the seat?
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on August 26, 2008, 08:12:50 AM
Are you kidding.. :rofl;  You ladies never quit, I was trying to make peace, give an inch and you take a foot.  :)

A FOOT??? Gosh Viscount you DO have a mighty weapon! :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on August 26, 2008, 08:14:14 AM
:rofl; :rofl; (Hope she makes you wash your hands in between those 2 actions  :rofl;)
Have you tried the scones yet??????

Rose I've not tried the scones yet but I will do just as soon as I remember to leave the toilet seat down. :rofl; :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on August 26, 2008, 10:22:34 AM
Sir Ken, you are in fine form today! :rofl;  Great replies!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on August 26, 2008, 09:51:14 PM
Are you kidding.. :rofl;  You ladies never quit, I was trying to make peace, give an inch and you take a foot.  :)

A FOOT??? Gosh Viscount you DO have a mighty weapon! :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;

 :secret; with more to spare.  :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: monrein on August 27, 2008, 12:21:03 PM
 :rofl;  Sluuuffff  have you ever considered dating/marrying a member of another species???  You may be better matched in the LONG run.   :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on August 27, 2008, 01:16:48 PM
Intriguing!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on August 27, 2008, 01:29:13 PM
 :rofl; :rofl; :shy;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: okarol on August 28, 2008, 02:14:58 PM


Wouldn't Christy have something to say about that?
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on August 28, 2008, 03:59:45 PM
Ladies,  Sir Sluff is trying to lure us with his ---- well, with his -----  !!     Don't fall for the "big" talk and promises of going to great "lengths" to make us happy. :rofl; :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: rose1999 on August 28, 2008, 11:12:46 PM
Fear not Paris, he can't fool those of us who have read what SLUFF really stands for.......................or was the S referring to his height  :rofl; :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on August 29, 2008, 05:54:37 AM


Wouldn't Christy have something to say about that?


Not at all.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on August 29, 2008, 04:46:50 PM
Sir Sluffington be sure to cover your mighty weapon lest is get wet in the rain and rust off!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on August 29, 2008, 07:05:25 PM
 :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on December 29, 2008, 01:23:02 PM
 :bump;


If you have not read this thread in its entirety get ready to laugh. Bumping it up again!




Hey Ken! I thought Royalty had privileges at Christmas? Can you send a few servants to undecorate my house for me, please?   

Countess of Chocolate Kitkatz

Excuse me my proper title is DUCHESS KITKATZ EMPRESS OF CHOCOLATE BARS. For a minute there I got crazy!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: okarol on December 29, 2008, 03:51:37 PM

Ken, I know this request is long overdue, but since my great grandfather emigrated from the UK in 1872, and I happen to LOVE English toffee and tea, would you consider granting me a title?
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on December 29, 2008, 06:02:46 PM
Sir Ken are we ready to pull out our mighty weapons and show that we mean business?
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on December 29, 2008, 06:12:22 PM
Mighty smighty weapons!   We hear about them but only see them in Santa photos!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on December 29, 2008, 06:18:53 PM
 :rofl; :o I want to see these mighty weapons!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on December 29, 2008, 06:23:28 PM
You guys could not put a mighty weapon together if all of you got together to do it! That is why the Damsels of Distress have taken over this thread!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: okarol on December 29, 2008, 08:56:05 PM
Sir Ken are we ready to pull out our mighty weapons and show that we mean business?

There he goes again, brandishing his "weapon"  :o
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on December 30, 2008, 04:46:05 AM
I have cheese in a can and crackers! Let the show begin :bandance;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on December 30, 2008, 07:19:57 AM
I am on the edge of my seat waiting with great anticipation.  The holidays are almost over and now I have something "big" to look forward to.   :rofl; 
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on December 30, 2008, 07:57:49 AM
Fear not Viscount Sluff. From my sickbed I can still muster my Royal Big Ugly Pikestaff and together with your wondrous mighty weapon we will teach these ladies of treachery a lesson they will want to never forget and Victory will be Ours!!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on December 30, 2008, 11:03:03 AM
Fear not Viscount Sluff. From my sickbed I can still muster my Royal Big Ugly Pikestaff and together with your wondrous mighty weapon we will teach these ladies of treachery a lesson they will want to never forget and Victory will be Ours!!



Hah!  Good luck on that one Sir Ken  :sir ken; The Damsels of Distress are going to get their weapons and use them.  The weapons of wile and guile!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on December 30, 2008, 01:56:26 PM
Fear not Viscount Sluff. From my sickbed I can still muster my Royal Big Ugly Pikestaff and together with your wondrous mighty weapon we will teach these ladies of treachery a lesson they will want to never forget and Victory will be Ours!!

Wow! If you were single the ladies would forming a line. I like when you talk naughty.  >:D
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: monrein on December 30, 2008, 02:18:56 PM
Ah Damsels, be not tricked by this tactic of exaggeration.  These curlike knaves who confuse little minnows with large cod, mere filet knives with swords or "mighty weapons", and who feign physical prowess and superiority with sleight of clothing, such as the codpiece.   We too know these tricks and may flatter the poor devils but are not fooled ourselves by their deceits.

Let us heed mistress Kitkatz and use our wile and guile.  Victory will surely follow.





Codpiece



The codpiece, which was popular in the 15th and 16th centuries, is a bag, covered by a flap of fabric that could be laced or pinned shut, and was sewn onto the crotch of men's trousers to provide a handy container for storing one's lunch. Historians generally consider it to have been the forerunner of both the modern lunch box and the fanny pack. Because of the Medieval fondness for fish, particularly cod, the container became known as a "codpiece."
Contents
1 Fashion Accessory
2 Popularity
3 Exaggeration


Fashion designers soon understood the potential importance of the codpiece as a "costume embellishment." As men became increasingly aware of their genitals, they began to compare the sizes of their penises and testicles, believing even from earliest times, that bigger is better or, as modern men (and women) say, "size matters." The codpiece, actually an early lunch box, was pressed into service as an item of clothing that could exaggerate its wearer's claims to virility and, therefore, enhance his self-esteem.

Popularity

To make the codpiece acceptable to the public (and particularly to women) as an article of clothing, fashion designers claimed that its purpose was not to draw attention to the male genitals but, rather, to protect men's modesty. Men's hose were typically snug on the legs and open at the crotch, with the genitalia simply hanging loose under the doublet. As changing fashions led to shorter doublets, the codpiece was created to cover the crotch and prevent men's modesty from "hanging loose." As the fashion designers suspected, the public proved gullible enough to believe that the codpiece's ostentatious display had the opposite intent of covering the sex organs, and the codpiece became popular among men as a fashion accessory. However, the original name was retained, and a new origin of the word was adopted, linguists contending that the term had nothing to do with codfish but had been derived, instead, from associations of "cod" with "bag" (i. e., the scrotum), so that "codpiece" had originally meant "scrotum piece."

Exaggeration

Almost from the beginning, the codpiece was exaggerated in size. Originally, the codpiece had been about the size of a baseball; in short order, it grew to basketball-size dimensions and, where it had previously been but a flap of fabric of the same type as the trousers, it was now often of a different material, such as silk or velvet, and was richly adorned with lace, ribbons, and jewels (hence the origin of the phrase "family jewels" in relation to the testicles). Codpieces were also padded, the padded brassiere being a distant, modern derivative of this earlier fashion accessory for men.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on December 30, 2008, 05:45:58 PM
I am very good with a needle and thread!   :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: rose1999 on December 31, 2008, 06:16:20 AM
"Codpieces were also padded, the padded brassiere being a distant, modern derivative of this earlier fashion accessory for men."


Well I just can't wait to see Sluffbunny and Sir Ken in one of these padded bras  :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;  Get your needles & thread out Paris  :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on December 31, 2008, 09:25:33 AM
I also have some stuffing left over from making teddy bears.  Who needs just a little and who needs a lot?!  :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on December 31, 2008, 10:29:56 AM
STUFFING!!!..... Huh! There'll be no need for any of that!  :sir ken;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on December 31, 2008, 11:16:27 AM
No stuffing needed here, but you sure can give it a try Paris.  ;)
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on December 31, 2008, 08:41:36 PM
Sir Ken and Sir Sluff, I will take you word!  I wouldn't touch those responses with a ten foot pole---------  :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on December 31, 2008, 10:51:51 PM
You would have to stand away from them with a ten foot pole, truth be told, the way they go on and on about their mighty weapons.   :shy;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on December 31, 2008, 11:02:06 PM
We are the Damsels OF Distress
We don’t take no mess!
When we hear the men shout
We haul their asses about!
“Mighty weapons indeed!” We say
And the men all run away.

We are the Damsels of Distress

Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on January 01, 2009, 06:56:08 AM
Really ladies you must think of nothing else. This like shows men with pikestaffes. Be Afraid!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pike_(weapon)
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on January 01, 2009, 08:55:21 AM
 :bandance; I am shaking in my shoes! :rofl;









EDITED:Fixed smiley tag error-kitkatz,Moderator
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on January 01, 2009, 10:35:57 AM
 :bandance; :bandance; Me too. Shaking in my shoes!  :sarcasm;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: monrein on January 01, 2009, 12:33:42 PM
Mine knees are of a sudden aquiver with fright.  Of course I jest and toy with you only, you silly men of the Kingdom.  Our wit far sharper than any pikestaff you could possess and our guile and wile far slyer than any stealth attack you could plan.  If we feed you not, you could not even lift aforementioned staffs.  Oops, silly me, I forgot that we must flatter you men, lest you bluster too much and hurt yourselves. 

Oh brave knights, I tremble with fear of the villainous pikestaffs.

The Baroness Monrein
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on January 01, 2009, 12:46:04 PM
By the By The Purple Feather Boa Brigade and The Damsels OF Distress will be having a meeting today at 4pm. english standard time. 
We simply must discuss the apparent overlooking of granting Okarol an official English title.
The wrong must be righted immediately by Sir Ken or there will be trouble brought about by these two amazing groups of women and their weapons of chocolate and leafy substances!

Purple Feather Boa Brigade and Damsels of Distress are united in their purpose!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: monrein on January 01, 2009, 01:32:10 PM
Indeed fair lady, Mistress Okarol must, by all that we hold dear, be granted an official title by Sir Kenneth.  She has shown herself to be a worthy lady of clear virtue (as virtuous as any at any rate) and deserves an elevation of rank. 

I pray thee however, to describe further the "leafy substances" of which you speak.  Are we hinting at salads, cigars or illicit mind-altering smokables?  I ask merely for the sake of clarity, let me add.

The BM  (Oh dear me, what unfortunate initials, but what is done, is done)
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on January 01, 2009, 01:48:16 PM
My Dear BM ( Unfortunate initials, yes. It was part of their plan to discredit you) 

Yes, Lady Karol deserves a title.  The meeting is taking place at #$%^&&^$##. Please use your code books to decipher the place.

The Leafy green substance makes one happy, however vast quantities of food must be near when it is finished.   I will allow you to make your own conclusions.


Ladies rally to the cause!  Okarol must be granted a title immediately or forthwith the men with their mighty weapons have a fight on their hands!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: monrein on January 01, 2009, 01:53:00 PM
 :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;  You may count on my full participation in all plans and activities of basically any kind but ssshhh.   :secret;  Pass it on to the other ladies of the realm.  Perchance I'll bring a cake to complement the leaves.

Who needs a title?  Okarol, WOW!  When does she need it?  RIGHT NOW!
Repeat, whilst marching and looking gorgeously fierce.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on January 01, 2009, 01:58:57 PM
If it does not happen soon, I shall be forced to give up my Duchy of Chocolate and move on to being the Empress of Chocolatedom! Allowing Okarol to assume the Duchess title.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on January 02, 2009, 08:14:26 PM
Ladies tho shall not make such hastily decisions, for decisions made in haste could have disastrous consequences. Wait for Sir Ken for he and only he can hand out respectable titles.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on January 03, 2009, 06:22:36 AM
Ladies tho shall not make such hastily decisions, for decisions made in haste could have disastrous consequences. Wait for Sir Ken for he and only he can hand out respectable titles.

Haste, Smaste, since when have we been respectable.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on January 03, 2009, 04:04:13 PM
We are being respectable. We have only just had a meeting about Okarol getting her coronet and title.  We have plans to fight to the seas about this matter!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on January 03, 2009, 05:36:56 PM
A fight to the seas will only bring destruction to the Purple Boa Brigade, no matter how much chocolate and green leafy substance you have.  :boxing;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: thegrammalady on January 03, 2009, 05:41:04 PM
 :rofl; does the tree ornament with purple feathers count?
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on January 03, 2009, 05:47:54 PM
Yes the ornament counts.   The more the merrier with the brigade!   As for fighting to the seas and through the mountains we will unite within our sisterhood and defeat these weapon waving men. 

Or until Okarol gets her title!

A royal title for Okarol!
Or we fight, fight, fight!
We only want what is right!


Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: thegrammalady on January 03, 2009, 06:05:44 PM
okarol will always have a royal title in my book!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: okarol on January 03, 2009, 06:49:40 PM
 :bow; You gals are the BEST!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: monrein on January 04, 2009, 06:22:59 AM
The Viscount Sluff (if indeed Viscount he be) forgets that when we ladies of the realm speak of taking to the seas, mountains or elsewhere in our battle to obtain a title for Okarol, we fully intend to call upon our friends in high places.  As ladies of rank we possess some considerable clout, some powerful allies and vast reserves of our own devious treachery.  Our weapons are hidden, our powers concealed and your pikestaffs, swords or other scary staffs frighten us not. 

We'll trick you with leafy things, stuff you with cakes, have our way with your weapons and not for a second forget our goal.....a major title for the fair and virtuous mistress Okarol. 

Fight, fight, fight
We're fighting for the right
Okarol deserves it
Sir Ken must bestow it
A royal title now for
We cannot allow
Injustice  to prevail.
We are the females
Of the realm and
We beseech you
Oh kind Sir Ken.




Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: pelagia on January 04, 2009, 08:58:54 AM
I'm speechless.  This is a travesty  :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on January 04, 2009, 09:47:10 AM
Sir Ken,  This can all be resolved with a stroke of your pen.  Only a moment to bestow the rightful title to our deserving Okarol.  Remember, the pen in mightier than the sword!   Not saying whos sword!!   :rofl;   :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on January 04, 2009, 02:01:49 PM
Yes, please do the honorable thing. We would be forever grateful.  :)

Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: monrein on January 04, 2009, 03:34:50 PM
Titles Bestowed thus far by Sir Kenneth:


Sir Stauffenberg of Hammersmith
Countess Bajanne
Dame Paris of near Victoria Station
Damn Dame Goofynina, Princess Regent to the Court of Kenneth
Princess Angela The Confused
Duchess Kitkatz, Emress of Chocolate Bars
Lady Meinuk of St. Michael
Viscount Sluff, Lord Mayor of London  (also known as Court Jester OR Viscount Sluff and His Mighty Weapon)
Romona, Royal Seamstress to the Court
Count Hawkeye The Monocled One
Sir Joe (Paul)
Lady AlohaBeth
Countess Rose
Baroness Monrein of Barrenboimbingbongbangerland
Sir Kevno of Kevnottingham Hall
Countess Carla of Chester

(please add your title to the list if I have mistakenly omitted you)

I priethee Sir Kenneth, to bestow a title of suitably high rank upon Mistress Okarol, she is most worthy and also quite useful in matters technical pertaining to this site.  You may choose the altruistic title-bestowing route or the purely selfish one.  It matters not a whit, your motives, but bestow you must or risk the wrath of we, the lovelies of the realm, the comely, the luscious, the clever and the devious.  We come in all disguises but remain united in our insistence that you recognize and call to arise our noble sister Okarol.


Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on January 04, 2009, 05:43:16 PM
Sir Ken is not in top form right now, so we will give him some time to bestow the title.  We love you and will try to be good, loyal subjects until you feel up to our antics.    :cuddle;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: thegrammalady on January 04, 2009, 06:00:14 PM
how did i get missed? i seem to remember he (or at least someone) promised me raspberry jam with my tea.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on January 04, 2009, 06:48:41 PM
I will bestow you with Raspberry jam together with tea if you hold back the purple brigade from making the mistake of fighting. They can not win for we also have hidden weaponry and help from above and powers to cast spells and other weird stuff. We have read the entire volumes of Harry Potter books.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: thegrammalady on January 04, 2009, 06:55:21 PM
have you lost it sir sluf, the purple brigade can't loose, we have feathers, and the ladies and i will have tea and jam when this is over, sir ken will soon feel better and come to his senses. besides that would be letting down Damn Dame Goofynina and we can't have that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on January 04, 2009, 07:00:14 PM
Fear not Sir ken I will single handily put a stop to this silly revolt of imaginary proportions.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: thegrammalady on January 04, 2009, 07:02:53 PM
me thinks you've really lost it  :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on January 04, 2009, 08:18:32 PM
Who stopped the revolt? Come on ladies we can take the Viscount all by ourselves with one hand tied behind our backs!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on January 04, 2009, 08:42:04 PM
And I will enjoy every minute of it... :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: rose1999 on January 04, 2009, 10:44:06 PM
Sir Ken I pray you grant Okarol a title as befits her status ( :secret; and I'll ask Rita to make you some raspberry scones).  Never mind pens and weapons (ha!) the raspberry scone is mightier than them all.

Countess Rose
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: thegrammalady on January 05, 2009, 02:43:38 PM
i don't need a title, i just want tea. tea, scones, clotted cream and raspberry jam.

i can't believe i ever said i didn't need a title!!! but what the hey, as long as i get to put my feet up when i has me tea, and someone comes through with the raspberry jam, maybe wenchie and i could work in the kitchen. of course you realize it will be tea time all day long.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: thegrammalady on January 05, 2009, 02:48:39 PM
i don't need a title, i just want tea. tea, scones, clotted cream and raspberry jam.

Coming up!
 

see, sir ken did promise........i'm still waiting.....
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: monrein on January 05, 2009, 02:52:18 PM
A lady's prerogative is the option to change her mind (waste her mind nay, change it yeah) and as such, it is never too late to respectfully request a title.  The Empress Hotel in Victoria, British Columbia serves a most delectable cream tea so you would make a very nice Empress of the High Teas, in my most humble of humble opinions.  Nothing to be lost by asking and so much scrumptiousness to be gained...which in itself could lead to the gaining of some pounds of corpulent flesh but there's always a price to be paid.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: thegrammalady on January 05, 2009, 02:56:10 PM
A lady's prerogative is the option to change her mind (waste her mind nay, change it yeah) and as such, it is never too late to respectfully request a title.  The Empress Hotel in Victoria, British Columbia serves a most delectable cream tea so you would make a very nice Empress of the High Teas, in my most humble of humble opinions.  Nothing to be lost by asking and so much scrumptiousness to be gained...which in itself could lead to the gaining of some pounds of corpulent flesh but there's always a price to be paid.

i've been to the empress hotel, yummm. and oh, yes, please, empress of high teas, that would be wonderful.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on January 08, 2009, 10:24:07 AM
Ladies Ladies please accept my apologies for my absence at court for as you may know one has been indisposed of late but now the apothecary has discharged me from the house of sickness and I stand here again for my loyal (and treacherous subjects)

Forgive me Okarol for having taken so long to bestow a title on such a noble lady. Okarol, I am but a fool, but darling I.........Ahem
ARISE DUCHESS OKAROL  LADY OF THE  ROYAL GARTER AND KNICKER ELASTIC.
Also Monrien's suggestion is granted.

ARISE EMPRESS GRAMMALADY OF THE HIGH TEAS.

I am most hopefull that for the future I will remain in robust health but if I should become again indisposed I entrust my loyal servant Viscount Sluff (whom many of you disrespectfully call Sluffbunny) to be my Prince Regent in my absence to rule with his mighty weapon and bestow titles on my behalf.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Wenchie58 on January 08, 2009, 10:41:27 AM
i don't need a title, i just want tea. tea, scones, clotted cream and raspberry jam.

... maybe wenchie and i could work in the kitchen. of course you realize it will be tea time all day long.


HUH?  Me....in the kitchen?  LOL!  Tend bar maybe!  You folks are too funny!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: thegrammalady on January 08, 2009, 12:48:42 PM
bless you sir
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: okarol on January 08, 2009, 01:39:50 PM

Forgive me Okarol for having taken so long to bestow a title on such a noble lady. Okarol, I am but a fool, but darling I.........Ahem
ARISE DUCHESS OKAROL LADY OF THE ROYAL GARTER AND KNICKER ELASTIC.
Also Monrien's suggestion is granted.



Is that underwear?
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Wenchie58 on January 08, 2009, 01:50:36 PM
the Princess of Panties????

 :rofl; :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on January 08, 2009, 02:06:58 PM
The title of "Baron of Brassires" is still up for grabs. :bandance;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: monrein on January 08, 2009, 02:25:34 PM
A most noble yet playful title Lady Okarol.  Being named a lady of the Order of the Garter is indeed a major coup although the Knicker elastic sounds suspiciously to mine ears like a girdle (not gerbil, girdle).



The Order of the Garter, Its History and Ceremony

 

The Most Noble Order of the Garter is one of the oldest and most important of all such Orders throughout the world, with the concept of like minded brotherhood dedicated to service and chivalry, these core principals having survived intact and are as relevant today as at its conception over 650 years ago. With almost a thousand appointments of royalty, soldiers, statesmen, favourites, magnates, and a few traitors having been made since 1348.

It was during the 11th and 12th centuries within the warrior-classes the idea of the medieval notion of chivalry and knighthood first developed. The Crusades in the Middle East had released these men from the previous constraints of feudalism. They could now express their new-found identity by the creation of religious and military orders of chivalry. The earliest orders of knighthood were amongst groups of like-minded men who being drawn from a particular social class were therefore bound together in a common purpose.

It requires all members to assemble at Windsor on the eve of the feast day. The Knights and Ladies put on the mantle of the Order and the Greater George and go to St George's Chapel for a service of thanksgiving. They then sup at the Dean's House. On St George's Day, the members attend a lunch in the Waterloo Chamber

Then all go in procession to the Chapel for service wearing the full robes of the Order, including black velvet hats with white plumes, and any new members are installed. On the day after, the mantle only is worn. The Garter itself is worn throughout. The Greater George must be worn on all official holidays, on Ascension Day, at the funeral of a member of the Order, and when a member of the Order is created a Peer.

Although the original medieval membership of the order consisted of the British sovereign and the prince of Wales, each with 12 companions, as if at a tournament. Membership was expanded in the late 18th and early 19th centuries to include supernumeraries such as members of the royal family (known as "royal knights companions"), lineal descendants of George I and George II, and foreigners (known as "extra knights"). The British sovereign and prince of Wales are always members of the order. Originally, existing knights elected new knights, but now appointment to the order is solely at the discretion of the British monarch. Women have been made ladies of the order, but they are not ranked among the 25 knights companions.

The foundation of the Order of the Garter by King Edward III in the early fourteenth century, brought together in close companionship the Sovereign and twenty-five of the most outstanding military leaders of the country at that time as a means of marking and securing alliances; it also established a new fellowship in religious worship ' to the honour of Almighty God, the glorious Virgin Saint Mary and Saint George the Martyr'.

Since foreign monarchs have been appointed to the Order from the fifteen century, one of the earliest such appointments was the Duke of Urbino by Edward IV in 1474. Such appointments were and are occasionally made to non-Christian rulers ( for example, the Shah of Persia in 1902 ), which prompted some debate over the possibility of removing Christian imagery ( the cross of St George ) from the Order when it is given to non-Christian recipients; in the end however the design remained unchanged.

 
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on January 08, 2009, 02:46:20 PM
Ladies we can now sand down from the build up to war time activities we have been participating in.   :sir ken; Sir Ken has graciously awarded titles to the two very deserving ladies. Thank you Sir Ken  :sir ken; .

Let the mud wrestling begin, or was it pike bearing?  Hmmmm I do not remember!

Orders for Sir Ken:  You are to stay out of the apothecary from now on and get well. The hospital does not bode well for you!




Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on January 08, 2009, 03:11:12 PM
Now maybe the Ladies will show me the respect I am entitled.  Fighting should be against the rules, I think we should inhale the green leafy substance and eat the delicious chocolate brownies that kitkatz has made, why can't we all just get along.  :)
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on January 08, 2009, 03:15:12 PM
From the ladies to the Viscount:    :sir ken; :sir ken; :Kit n Stik;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on January 09, 2009, 06:01:58 AM
From the ladies to the Viscount:    :sir ken; :sir ken; :Kit n Stik;
You see Viscount my noble and trusted friend, treachery and disrespect will allways abound. Shall we strip her.......of her title and make her a mere commoner?
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on January 09, 2009, 06:13:11 AM
I will NEVER be a commoner whether you strip me of my title or not.  See, I have been out using my title to gain prestige and followers. 


Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on January 09, 2009, 07:05:55 AM
From the ladies to the Viscount:    :sir ken; :sir ken; :Kit n Stik;
You see Viscount my noble and trusted friend, treachery and disrespect will allways abound. Shall we strip her.......of her title and make her a mere commoner?

We must meet and discuss this situation further, she has dropped her pants down and mooned me several times. ;)
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: monrein on January 09, 2009, 07:23:07 AM
I've been led to understand that Brits can be quite fond of the fantasies and practices of spanking...perhaps the Lady Kitkatz is just a terrible tease and feels that the gentlemen (note the gentle at the start of the word) need an image to spank , metaphorically speaking of course.   :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on January 09, 2009, 02:30:15 PM
 :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;


Monrein!  I am surprised!  Ladies we have to talk about this defrocking thing these gentleman (?) want to do.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on January 09, 2009, 06:55:06 PM
 ::)
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: thegrammalady on January 10, 2009, 08:21:26 AM
tea time!!!!!!!! and scones with clotted cream and raspberry jam and a wee bit from that wonderful golden decanter on the sideboard.   :wine;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: okarol on January 10, 2009, 09:20:38 AM
A most noble yet playful title Lady Okarol.  Being named a lady of the Order of the Garter is indeed a major coup although the Knicker elastic sounds suspiciously to mine ears like a girdle (not gerbil, girdle).

 


Thank you for the description. I will wear my garter belt proudly!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on January 10, 2009, 12:06:35 PM
A most noble yet playful title Lady Okarol.  Being named a lady of the Order of the Garter is indeed a major coup although the Knicker elastic sounds suspiciously to mine ears like a girdle (not gerbil, girdle).

 


Thank you for the description. I will wear my garter belt proudly!
:pics;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: monrein on January 10, 2009, 02:45:19 PM
Here you go.  I call this one, girl with garter and at least one implant.   :rofl;





EDITED: Re-sized beautiful picture - Sluff/Admin





Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on January 18, 2009, 03:57:58 PM
I've been led to understand that Brits can be quite fond of the fantasies and practices of spanking

Ooooh...... aaaaaaargh.... YES YES YES.... OOOH THAT HURT!  :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on January 18, 2009, 07:47:02 PM
Very nice and very thoughtful but I wanted to see Okarols.   >:D
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: sandra3105 on February 11, 2009, 05:53:01 AM
hi a brit here and a manchester united fan from MANCHESTER !!!!!! found this site last week been reading all the messages but not posted until i spotted you.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on February 11, 2009, 06:26:22 AM
Post an introduction here: http://ihatedialysis.com/forum/index.php?board=14.0   and then you will have to ask Sir Ken for a title to get in the action of this thread.  :)
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on February 12, 2009, 07:44:35 PM
Hello to our new friend from Britain. If you go back and read this thread we are all kind of silly in it.


I am bumping the thread by asking Ken to be sure and have accommodations for us all when we fly over!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: okarol on February 12, 2009, 07:50:40 PM


Maybe we need some Green Kidney Awareness garters...?
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on February 12, 2009, 08:06:54 PM
Oh I need one of those alright!   :bandance; :bandance;  Can you see me dancing around in that garter!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on February 12, 2009, 08:36:43 PM
i have figured away to remove those with my teeth.  :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on February 13, 2009, 03:25:51 PM
Are your teeth real or do you keep them in a glass? If you keep them in a glass, I guess you would have to use your hands too! >:D
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on February 13, 2009, 04:23:05 PM
Kit, you could wear them to Vegas!   The guys can slip dollars in them and it would pay for your trip!   :rofl;

I do hope Sir Ken has things in order.  I am packing my bags with the hope I can stay at Windsor Castle.  Buckingham is just a little too much for me.   :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on February 13, 2009, 05:12:51 PM
Paris, I think Buckingham Palace would make a nice little vacation stop for us. Of course we could not stay too long,with its tight quarters and all.   :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on February 13, 2009, 10:10:12 PM
That's it our next IHD get together can be at Buckingham palace.  BRILLIANT!!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Yvonne on February 13, 2009, 11:38:19 PM
:ukflag; Wouldn't it be nice if every one started off their new post with the flag of their country, one way of telling where they come from.  I always try to remember to do that when I post just go into the (more) sign. John comes from Newcastle so you can guess what football team he supports. I'm an Essex girl haven't got a clue about football but like Rugby.

I must add John's Hospital the Queen Alexandra, and all the other hospitals that have a renal department are all linked to a satellite, we are all given a pass word and within 2 days of coming back from a check up you can view your results and Dr. letters on line. The site is called www.renalpatientview.org and you could if you want give your pass word to any member of your family or doctor to look up on your results. Do any other country's have that in place.  Yvonne the wife
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: rose1999 on February 14, 2009, 02:29:02 AM
I must add John's Hospital the Queen Alexandra, and all the other hospitals that have a renal department are all linked to a satellite, we are all given a pass word and within 2 days of coming back from a check up you can view your results and Dr. letters on line. The site is called www.renalpatientview.org and you could if you want give your pass word to any member of your family or doctor to look up on your results. Do any other country's have that in place.  Yvonne the wife


It sounds great Yvonne but they're not all linked, the QE (Birmingham) is a huge hospital where Dad has to go for any inpatient issues, his unit is a satellite of it but neither are linked to renalpatientview.  I have asked severaltimes but there don't seem to be any immediate plans to link - just another example of the postcode lottery that is the UK NHS!!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Yvonne on February 14, 2009, 06:49:35 AM
 :ukflag; Sluf please make the next meeting Windsor Castle as it's just up the road. Yvonne
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on February 14, 2009, 12:24:41 PM
That would be so cool. But Sir Ken took my credit card so I can't go.  :'(
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on February 14, 2009, 01:51:10 PM
However, Romona I picked Ken's pocket last time he was giving out titles and tiaras.  I have his credit cards and ID.  Let's go shopping.


I shall purchase one of these and update my tiara to a crown!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on February 14, 2009, 03:17:51 PM
Beautiful. Now you need matching earrings.  :clap;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on February 14, 2009, 03:53:51 PM
Will these do?
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: monrein on February 14, 2009, 04:46:47 PM
Those are lovely but may I take the liberty of recommending platinum...yellow gold is so plebeian and we do, after all is said and done, have standards to maintain.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on February 14, 2009, 05:31:02 PM
Do these meet with your approval Madame?
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on February 14, 2009, 06:30:10 PM
Oh, I guess those will do. You will look fabulous as always! :bow;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: monrein on February 14, 2009, 06:32:08 PM
Indeed they do Lady Kitkatz and may I compliment you on the round rocks which so charmingly echo the lower band of the crown. 
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on February 14, 2009, 10:12:43 PM
Which credit card do you all want to use now?   The online company says the one I used on the crown and earrings is now maxed out now.  Ken is going to have to go to work and work it off, I guess.  :sir ken;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on February 15, 2009, 06:22:22 AM
You can't forget shoes. A darling pair of purple pumps to go with your boa. Try the Master Card.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on February 15, 2009, 05:16:59 PM
The Mastercard seems okay.  Do these meet with approval?
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on February 21, 2009, 10:12:49 AM
Because I am bankrupted due to your extravagant spending of MY MONEY!!! The next IHD meeting will have to be in the UK at my local pub. I could probably stretch to a round of pork scratchings. :Kit n Stik; :Kit n Stik; :Kit n Stik; :sir ken;

Please note, all garters must be prominently displayed. BY ROYAL COMMAND!!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on February 21, 2009, 10:20:13 AM
You can't forget shoes. A darling pair of purple pumps to go with your boa. Try the Master Card.

FORGET SHOES???? All women think about shoes all the time so how would they forget them? Impossible!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on February 21, 2009, 10:28:18 AM
I would love a coat trimmed in ermine.  Is the American Express still accepting charges?
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on February 21, 2009, 02:25:30 PM
Is this one okay, with the crown included?
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on February 22, 2009, 10:47:36 AM
hi a brit here and a manchester united fan from MANCHESTER !!!!!! found this site last week been reading all the messages but not posted until i spotted you.
MANCHESTER UNITED???!!!!!! Booooooooo hsssssssssssss

But seriously welcome to this thread Sandra. I don't know which is worse, having to do dyalisis or supporting Manchester City for 50 years  :'(
If you havn't already read this thread from page 1 you will see that it started out as the title suggests but then it just went very silly and we try to keep it that way so to sum up.

I AM THE UNDISPUTED MASTER OF THE COURT OF KING KENNETH AND ALL MUST BEND...........ER TO MY WILL
Viscount Sluff is my loyal and trusted lieutenant. Unfortunately many of the ladies of the court contemplate and most frequently do perform acts of great treachery against their lords and masters and I sincerely hope you will not be one of their number.

All members of the court have a royal title (of which some scarcely deserve) and you also can bequeath yourself a title. I would do so myself were it not for the fact I am weary of it because so many ungreatful souls do dishonereth me by their disloyalty. So you are at liberty to dream up a title for yourself be it Lady, Duchess ,Princess etc etc. When you have decided please hasten forth to this thread in order to inform the court of your chosen title and my scribe Monrein will note said title. 
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: monrein on March 23, 2009, 11:43:40 AM
Sir Kenneth doth surely forget himself!  I am a BARONESS and no mere scribe of his Lordship.  As is so often the case, a lady of great nobility, myself in this particular, doth a gentleman a favour and the gentleman mistakes it for an oath of service.  My disdain runneth over (all over Sir Kenneth, to whom I have indeed been loyal but perchance this fealty is misplaced).

Naughty, naughty man.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on April 04, 2009, 07:44:09 AM
Baroness Monrein please forgive such an impudent presumption but I would indeed be truly honoured to
have  you er recruit you as my scribe. I have indeed noted your extraordinary and articulate mastery of yee olde English and your Ladyship hath already accurately cataloged the names of all the Lords and Ladies of the Court of King Kenneth. Your acceptance of this position would greatly please me and would under no circumstances denigrate or undermine your title of Baroness.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on April 04, 2009, 07:51:06 AM
My day is complete!  I have read new words from Sir Ken  :2thumbsup;   This lovely kingdom just isn't the same when he is off on holiday.   :bow;  I bow to his Lordship!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on April 04, 2009, 08:35:05 AM
Paris thy loyalty is an example to all in the Court of King Kenneth! Did you get my reply to your PM?
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on April 05, 2009, 06:04:22 AM
  I bow Lordship!


You what?  :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on April 05, 2009, 01:21:32 PM
You better not be bowing  :bow; to His Lordship!

Buck up woman!  Keep to us and we will give His Lordship and that rotten Viscount, too, their very personal comeuppance!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on April 19, 2009, 06:29:46 PM
Viscount, all is strangely quiet in the kingdom. Do you smell a Rat?
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: monrein on April 19, 2009, 08:30:43 PM
Baroness Monrein please forgive such an impudent presumption but I would indeed be truly honoured to
have  you er recruit you as my scribe. I have indeed noted your extraordinary and articulate mastery of yee olde English and your Ladyship hath already accurately cataloged the names of all the Lords and Ladies of the Court of King Kenneth. Your acceptance of this position would greatly please me and would under no circumstances denigrate or undermine your title of Baroness.

I apologize for being absent due to a fit of pique at your presumed insolence.  As you have begged so very nicely, I shall agree to consider your proposal and communicate my answer within the calendar year.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on April 19, 2009, 10:24:02 PM
Monrein, you had better not be that scoundrel's scribe!  He would dose you with funny weed and have his way with you!

I warn you!  Come join the Purple Feather B oa Brigade and assist us in handling these scoundrel men.  Do NOT join with them!

On second thought.....a spy....hmm. We shall have take up this idea.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on April 20, 2009, 02:05:18 PM
Viscount, all is strangely quiet in the kingdom. Do you smell a Rat?


I'm not quite sure if that stench is a rat, could it be something fishy going on?
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on April 20, 2009, 02:26:29 PM
Viscount, all is strangely quiet in the kingdom. Do you smell a Rat?


I'm not quite sure if that stench is a rat, could it be something fishy going on?

No, I just think he should put his shoes back on!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on May 10, 2009, 09:25:17 PM
All I want to know is Where was SIR KEN when all this went down????

Couple arrested for sex on lawn at Windsor Castle
 Email this Story

May 1, 4:17 PM (ET)

LONDON (AP) - Queen Elizabeth II was at home at Windsor Castle, the sentries who guard her were on duty, and the large park surrounding the magnificent building was full of tourists on a Sunday afternoon. So it didn't take long for people to realize that something was out of order when an inebriated couple arrived from a nearby restaurant and began having sex on a grass bank outside the castle, according to witnesses.
"One window from the guardroom opened up and when a soldier saw what was going on he told his mates - and lots of windows opened up," witness Mark Robinson told The Sun newspaper.
"The couple did not care who was looking and just kept going as if they were in their own bedroom."
Japanese tourists filmed the couple, who only stopped when police officers arrived on the scene, witnesses said.
Thames Valley Police said the man and woman were arrested and given a written warning about outraging public decency.
The queen was in the castle at the time, but her office declined Friday to comment about what had happened.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: okarol on May 11, 2009, 12:31:20 PM
All I want to know is Where was SIR KEN when all this went down????



 :rofl;  :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on May 11, 2009, 12:59:12 PM
It looks like Sir Ken slipped away again... :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on May 13, 2009, 02:55:56 PM
I arranged it all to embarrass the Queen. She has dared to dispute the legality of my kingdom!!!!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kristina on May 14, 2009, 07:08:25 AM
Well spoken Sir Ken! :2thumbsup;
I was wondering how Your Lordship
might answer! Well done! :clap;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on May 14, 2009, 03:43:12 PM
How is the dispute going oh Sir Ken?   Have you  :sir ken; the Queen.  If she does not listen to you the Purple Feather Boa Brigade will come to your rescue!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Bajanne on May 14, 2009, 11:56:47 PM
Though I was granted nobility by Lord Ken, I am still a humble resident of one of Her Majesty's colonies and as such could not permit any disrespecting of or violence against her august person.
I am sure that she would be open to reason were she to hear of the tremendous job Lord Ken has been doing on her behalf with those over the pond, bringing them back to nobility, pomp and circumstance.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kristina on May 15, 2009, 05:30:50 AM
Hear, hear !
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on May 19, 2009, 05:29:08 AM
We must unite against the British Monachy. Most of you honourary Brits are American. You fought the Brits  once, you can do it again. I call upon all loyal subjects of my kingdom to take up arms and fight for our kingdom. Also can somebody stand my bail after I am arrested under the anti-terrorism act for writing this. See you in Guantanamo!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: monrein on May 19, 2009, 11:08:33 AM
These are treasonous words to most Canadians Sir Ken as their admiration for and loyalty to the British Monarchy runs very deep indeed.   As for my own colonial past in the West Indies (original ancestor was a physician with the British Navy in the 1700's...did he jump ship at the lure of the palms or was he dumped???) well, those Jamaicans are more supportive of the monarchy than even these Canadians...so thoroughly enamoured with dreams of garden parties, cucumber sandwiches and curtsies to HRH.   

I, as befitting a person of my standing, shall watch this skirmish from the sidelines. 

Respectfully
The Baroness Monrein
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Bajanne on May 19, 2009, 12:05:26 PM
Dear Baroness Monrein, I take up my position with you.

Awee nuh wan dem fuh tink awee gwine go gainst awee Queen!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: monrein on May 19, 2009, 02:12:59 PM
A trut dat yu a seh Missis.


Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on May 19, 2009, 02:41:53 PM
These are treasonous words to most Canadians Sir Ken as their admiration for and loyalty to the British Monarchy runs very deep indeed.   As for my own colonial past in the West Indies (original ancestor was a physician with the British Navy in the 1700's...did he jump ship at the lure of the palms or was he dumped???) well, those Jamaicans are more supportive of the monarchy than even these Canadians...so thoroughly enamoured with dreams of garden parties, cucumber sandwiches and curtsies to HRH.   

I, as befitting a person of my standing, shall watch this skirmish from the sidelines. 

Respectfully
The Baroness Monrein



COWARD!  We must assist Sir Ken in his quest to  :sir ken; the Queen of the isles!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: monrein on May 19, 2009, 03:19:55 PM
Excellent!  I do so love cheekiness.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Romona on May 19, 2009, 07:41:55 PM
We are on our way. Someone grab the Cheeto (see other thread) shaped like Jesus! And some booze!
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on May 20, 2009, 04:21:35 AM
I have the Royal Crown (Booze) thought it was fitting considering the current circumstances.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kitkatz on May 22, 2009, 03:58:22 PM
Royal Crown, isn't that related to RC cola?
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: okarol on September 15, 2010, 12:39:50 PM
While Sir Ken is off on holiday I have to wonder how he could have left the UK when there was THIS happening:

102 men and women naked ride roller coaster to break the world records.
London : United Kingdom | Sep 11, 2010

There are just human doings-who want to become popular and famous throughout the world. In Essex, England there are 102 men and women naked desperate. However, the 102 men and women who are naked-gil are not doing nasty. They arrived at the playground Adventure Island, Southend ride roller coaster; want to carve into world history and records.

Apparently the 102 men of this naked woman managed to break the old record, carved into 22 male-female nude, which play rollercoaster ride at Alton Towers amusement park, in Staffordshire in 2004.
.............
 :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on September 15, 2010, 04:32:11 PM
While Sir Ken is off on holiday I have to wonder how he could have left the UK when there was THIS happening:

102 men and women naked ride roller coaster to break the world records.
London : United Kingdom | Sep 11, 2010

There are just human doings-who want to become popular and famous throughout the world. In Essex, England there are 102 men and women naked desperate. However, the 102 men and women who are naked-gil are not doing nasty. They arrived at the playground Adventure Island, Southend ride roller coaster; want to carve into world history and records.

Apparently the 102 men of this naked woman managed to break the old record, carved into 22 male-female nude, which play rollercoaster ride at Alton Towers amusement park, in Staffordshire in 2004.
.............
 :rofl;

Sir Ken caught in the act!  :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 21, 2010, 05:12:20 PM
It was either miss Dialysis (what say yee to a Miss Dialysis Beauty Contest) oh dear I digress and die happy, or accept my forced exile in the in the Italia. Verilly as I put quill to parchment I am incarcerated on my return in the tower for treason to Her Majesty.

I call upon all my loyal subjects and even the disloyal purple boa brigade to unite in support of your leader who has bullshitted served you so well and bountifully bestowed on yee thy thoroughly deserved titles plus my credit cards (now maxed out)  in honour of the court of King Kenneth.

Come fourth yee loyal brethren and stormeth yon tower and release your Lordship from this tyranny. We'll fight them on the polo courts, we'll fight them at Wimbledon (You always win there anyway) we'll fight them in Harrod's, Selfridge's
and any pub that serves good beer. WE WILL NEVER EVER BE SOBER ...ur Surrender. :sir ken; :sir ken; :sir ken;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on September 30, 2010, 02:22:27 AM
My loyal subjects where art thou. Read previous post urgently :sos; :sos; :sos;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on September 30, 2010, 11:43:46 AM
Sir Kenneth I must remain loyal to my leader. I am here sir ken, what happened to all the ladies ? are they still sickened from the green leafy stuff in those brownies?
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: okarol on September 30, 2010, 11:45:22 AM

Did someone say beer?  :beer1; :beer1; :beer1;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on October 01, 2010, 02:37:51 AM
Sir Kenneth I must remain loyal to my leader. I am here sir ken, what happened to all the ladies ? are they still sickened from the green leafy stuff in those brownies?

Viscount my most loyal compatriot it is good to hear from you. No more ladies , I have taken a vow of celibacy in order to best concentrate my efforts to escape my incaceration. Oh and also I still await word from you regarding method of payment for my IHD subs.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: kristina on October 03, 2010, 03:00:12 AM
Now, now, Milord, don’t take on so!
Let Edith Piaf cheer you up a little:
Allez, venez, Milord! Laissez-vous faire, Milord,
allez, chantez, Milord! Mais oui, dansez, Milord!
Un petit effort, Milord! Encore Milord!...  :waving;

Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: KICKSTART on October 03, 2010, 05:12:19 AM
Firstly i would like to say i WASNT one of the 102 naked people at Alton towers , but i have been known to go there ! Secondly Sir Ken , im on my way to London, where the streets are paved with gold (slaps thigh) to rescue you from the tower. P.S. would it be alright if i bring my dogs , cause i dont own a cat !
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Sluff on October 03, 2010, 05:10:01 PM
Sir ken did you receive my private  ;) message re: IHD subs?
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on October 18, 2010, 01:48:09 AM
Sir ken did you receive my private  ;) message re: IHD subs?

Yes I sent it through paypal the the Epoman address about a week ago. Have you received it yet?
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on October 18, 2010, 12:13:37 PM
Hello, my darling Sir!  Hope you kingdom is well and lovely Rita is taking good care of you.

And to you too, dear Sluff!    I have missed my two knights in shining armor.   :cuddle;

Kickstart, be good to Sir Ken when you rescue him.    :rofl;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: okarol on October 18, 2010, 02:06:31 PM
Sir ken did you receive my private  ;) message re: IHD subs?

Yes I sent it through paypal the the Epoman address about a week ago. Have you received it yet?

Sir Kenneth,
Thy funds received with feelings of a sincere, devout, and humble gratitude.
My Lord, we give thee thanks.
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on October 19, 2010, 03:24:26 AM
Kickstart has murdered the jailer!! She gave him  a piece of her mind (and we all know what that's like :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;) and he died of fright!!
She now has the keys to my dungeon and soon I will be free again to hold my weapon Court. Hoorah for Countess KS  :clap; :clap; :clap;
Title: Re: Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?
Post by: paris on October 19, 2010, 04:56:09 PM
Oh no!  Here comes the mighty sword, again!!   Stand back ladies!!