I Hate Dialysis Message Board
Dialysis Discussion => Dialysis: Transplant Discussion => Topic started by: RichardMEL on April 21, 2007, 05:54:53 AM
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Hey all,
A bit of disappointment in my family at the moment.
As some of you may have read in other threads my sister has been going through the testing to donate a kidney to me (a wonderfully selfless act!). Well, all the tests she has gone through have gone OK aparently and the main neph (who is my neph) was pretty positive about things. Then yesterday as part of the process she went to see another neph for a second opinion and general check over. Well this guy was, according to her, very negative. He suggested she was too young to donate (at 38, perhaps the concern was about her maybe wanting to have kids?), and that her BP was too high (she was 120/65 and 130/80 aparently which seems pretty normal to me?!). He also aparently asked her how she would feel if they deemed she could not donate, and she said well she would be disappointed and upset (as you would expect) and he said "oh well don't worry there will be plenty of donors"
well my response to that is HUH?? They seem to prefer live donors if everything checks out OK medically of course (and the psych thing)... and I've been on the transplant list for 3 years so if there are "plenty" of donors they must all be passing by me somehow.
So anyway I am not sure where this whole thing leaves us... can she ask to see another neph for a 3rd opinion? Aparently the two docs will get together "sometime" and discuss her test results and make some kind of decision... so who knows who has more sway?
I'm not as upset as my sister is.. I'm kind of resigned to things I think.. but something we felt might be a fairly by the numbers cross check has become something else and really upset my sister.
Any thoughts ?
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This is not unusual, the transplant team here completely informed the donors of all the risks and obstacles. While it may seem like negativity, it does not sound like anything they said would stop a donation from taking place. The team often poses questions and concerns so as to weigh the level of committment from the donor. It's a tough process and many people fall by the wayside because it's so hard. I wish it wasn't this way, but I have heard it many times before. If you can, please have your sister go to the message forum at www.livingdonorsonline.org, or you could post your story there. There's lots of experience and hope there from other donors who have been on the same path.
Good luck,
Karol
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Thanks Karol.. I hope it's something like that though he really did sound like he didn't think she was suitable for various reasons like her BP, age etc....
I'll pass your message on!! :)
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Hey Richardmel hope things work out for you and your sister Hubby was tested to give me a kidney but we had to many antibodies to each other and was ruled out so I know what that feels like, but in your case it should work out talk to the other neph and push for it..Good luck :cuddle; I"m meeting Lucinda today for lunch how exciting..
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Dont give up my friend, i'd go for a 3rd opinion if i was you. Your sister is an amazing woman who loves her brother and wants her brother better, so until you have absolutely exhausted all possibilities, i'd say you better keep trying, sister's can be mean and, yes, sometimes a bit brutal if they dont get what they want, ;) (just ask my brother and sister) ;) :P Good luck and Godspeed :cuddle;
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Hi Richard,
My cousin was also knocked back for similar reasons. The main being the child bearing age. She had just given birth to her third and final child. If your sister hasn't had children and expressed a "maybe" attitude to having them one day, this maybe the reason for him saying not at the moment.
I hope it works out for you. :cuddle;
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Actually I think the blood pressure is the major thing. My sister told me she said she isn't likely to have any (her current bf is not one she wants to have kids with and she doesn't see it likely anytime soon)...
Anyway I have asked to see the transplant co-ordinator to find out exactly what the situation is and if we have any options at this point.
See it's a bit confusing since the "primary" doc has pretty much been positive up to this point and the "check" doc has been negative but we don't know the result of them conferring on the test results and similar... so it's a bit up in the air... though we both feel (my sister and I) that it's prob. going to be a no go.
My point of view is that if there's a medical risk to her from BP or whatever then sure.. don't go ahead.. I'd NEVER forgive myself if something happened to her... that's most important to me.
One thing I did wonder is that if the docs feel there are risks but not a strict medical reason to not go ahead.. shouldn't they ask the potential donor if they are willing to go ahead knowing the risks?? or even ask both of us? I mean like sitting you down and saying "We've gone through the test results.. everything looks good but we're a little concerned that your Blood pressure, while under control could pose X risk to you... we think it's a Y% chance...." and let her decide? I mean for a grey area not a black and white medical thing??? any thoughts?
I talked more with my sister and I think her major major disappointment with what happened last week was as much this doctors delivery and "bedside manner" and the way he treated her as much as being disappointed that she can't help me hopefully avoid dialysis for however long.
So I guess we will see...
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If she "at all" wants to have children then I would NOT have her donate. Not.... the current bf doesn't seem likely. NO, if SHE at all wants to have children then she shouldn't donate. Pregnancy is hard on a woman if they have two kidneys let alone one. Now I know it can be done, but why take the risk.
This guy may have posed these questions as a "way out" if she was at all hesitant. It is tough for family members if they "deep down inside" don't really want to go under the knife. So, if the donor jumps at the chance for a way out they have it. "OH, sorry my BP is too high can't donate to you brother. Sorry! Bye - See ya at Christmas!"
I hope it all works out for you. If you sister really wants to donate she will pitch a fit and insist. Sometimes that is what they are looking for. That way if something goes wrong then their ass is covered.
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I know lots of women who have donated and gone on to have children. The remaining kidney grows larger in the first year and this is no longer considered an obstacle to donating.
The blood pressure issue is important though. High blood pressure damages kidneys and damaged kidneys create high blood pressure.
We were very unhappy with the way our first transplant doctor and coordinator treated a few of Jenna's potential donors and ended up changing hospitals.
I hope things get sorted out for you!
:cuddle;
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Hey Richard , I'm sorry to hear about all the dramas you are going through. I think if your sister wants to 100% donate you a kidney then it should go ahead. When my mother donated her kidney to my sister 10 years ago, she had HIGH blood pressure, and had some extra weight on, and they still went through the operation (which was not key hole) and even though she was in a lot of pain, she recovered very well.
Also on the pregnancy note.... i know two women who donated kidneys to their siblings a couple of years ago and they have both had children since then and are doing great. If this is something that you sister is ready to do... i think it should be all go....
I hope everything turns out well.
Amanda
xxoo
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I know lots of women who have donated and gone on to have children. The remaining kidney grows larger in the first year and this is no longer considered an obstacle to donating.
The blood pressure issue is important though. High blood pressure damages kidneys and damaged kidneys create high blood pressure.
We were very unhappy with the way our first transplant doctor and coordinator treated a few of Jenna's potential donors and ended up changing hospitals.
I hope things get sorted out for you!
:cuddle;
Really? You know lots of women or your "read" about lots of women who donate and then have childrem? Well, I don't know any. I do know "lots" of women who are normal and have two kidneys and have problems with extra fluid and toxins during or especially at the end of pregnancy.
I'm not saying it isn't possible.....I'm saying it isn't smart. Pregnancy is no easy thing on the body and you can develop lots of complications after a pregnancy like high bp. So, have your kids and THEN donate a kidney.
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I know lots of women who have donated and gone on to have children. The remaining kidney grows larger in the first year and this is no longer considered an obstacle to donating.
The blood pressure issue is important though. High blood pressure damages kidneys and damaged kidneys create high blood pressure.
We were very unhappy with the way our first transplant doctor and coordinator treated a few of Jenna's potential donors and ended up changing hospitals.
I hope things get sorted out for you!
:cuddle;
Really? You know lots of women or your "read" about lots of women who donate and then have childrem? Well, I don't know any. I do know "lots" of women who are normal and have two kidneys and have problems with extra fluid and toxins during or especially at the end of pregnancy.
I'm not saying it isn't possible.....I'm saying it isn't smart. Pregnancy is no easy thing on the body and you can develop lots of complications after a pregnancy like high bp. So, have your kids and THEN donate a kidney.
Yes I know them. I have many friends from Living Donors Online that have had children after donating. I have been through this issue with 3 females who were evaluated to donate to Jenna. I know 2 women in my community who donated, one had two children and another had three - after donating.
Richard, I can help you learn more about this issue if your sister is interested.
Some transplant teams do recommend waiting to have children. But the general consensus is that it's not considered a high risk pregnancy if the woman has one kidney.
Rerun, you're entitled to your opinion.
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I know lots of women who have donated and gone on to have children. The remaining kidney grows larger in the first year and this is no longer considered an obstacle to donating.
The blood pressure issue is important though. High blood pressure damages kidneys and damaged kidneys create high blood pressure.
We were very unhappy with the way our first transplant doctor and coordinator treated a few of Jenna's potential donors and ended up changing hospitals.
I hope things get sorted out for you!
:cuddle;
Really? You know lots of women or your "read" about lots of women who donate and then have childrem? Well, I don't know any. I do know "lots" of women who are normal and have two kidneys and have problems with extra fluid and toxins during or especially at the end of pregnancy.
I'm not saying it isn't possible.....I'm saying it isn't smart. Pregnancy is no easy thing on the body and you can develop lots of complications after a pregnancy like high bp. So, have your kids and THEN donate a kidney.
Yes I know them. I have many friends from Living Donors Online that have had children after donating. I have been through this issue with 3 females who were evaluated to donate to Jenna. I know 2 women in my community who donated, one had two children and another had three - after donating.
Richard, I can help you learn more about this issue if your sister is interested.
Some transplant teams do recommend waiting to have children. But the general consensus is that it's not considered a high risk pregnancy if the woman has one kidney.
Rerun, you're entitled to your opinion.
Just wanted to chime in here. I've got 20 years High Risk labor and delivery on me. Many, many issues can classify a high risk pregnancy. Having a single kidney is one, whether from donation or born with only one................... But High Risk also includes Type I and II diabetes, having chronic hypertension, bleeding disorders, asthma, seizure disorders, etc. High risk demands closer surveillance during the course of pregnancy. It doesn't necessarily exclude one from having a child.
Being a kidney donor doesn't have to be a deterrent to becoming pregnant. There are risks in all pregnancies.
kelli
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Yes, exactly what I'm saying... There are risks in all pregnancies so why complicate things by donating a kidney before you have children or are done having children. Good grief why aren't young teen aged girls asked to be living donors? Do you know how awful I would feel by asking my sister to donate and then she would have complications having children? Even though it may have NOTHING to do with donating a kidney I would feel it did and blame myself.
There is enough guilt in receiving a kidney that the recipient goes through so the team is right.....there are other kidneys out there.
Now, if this were a man it would be different. They can do what they do with only 1 kidney. They can do what they do with no kidneys!
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Who am I to say but I agree with Rerun. Donating an organ is a controlled risk unlike diabetes or other health conditions that are out of our hands. The guilt I would feel would be overwhelming. I would wait.
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Who am I to say but I agree with Rerun. Donating an organ is a controlled risk unlike diabetes or other health conditions that are out of our hands. The guilt I would feel would be overwhelming. I would wait.
Richard is talking about his sister who is 38 years old. Bringing in the discussion regarding teenagers donating is absurd.
There is risk with any pregnancy. But it isn't an illness and having babies after donating, or receiving a kidney, is no longer taboo as it was in the past.
Perhaps this topic should be taken to another thread as this is only part of Richard's concern with the transplant evaluation, not the primary problem.
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I apologize. I am not trying to start a debate. I have re-read the thread and I don't really have any insight or an opinion to share. At 38 years old if someone wants to donate and they have the medical clearance I can't see why there would be a problem.
Richard, I hope everything works out for you.
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OK back on track....
Richard's sister was told that she was too young to donate a kidney at age 38 probably because she is undecided about wanting to have children.
:banghead;
If you are considering having children and female you should wait to donate your kidney until you and your child are done with them. My opinion.
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Regardless of whether Richard and his sister want to go ahead or not, it will not happen if the Transplant team says NO.
In Australia (maybe just Melbourne, i'm not sure of other states) they are still very conservative when it comes to live donors. Talk about hoops tp jump through. It is not as easy to just change hospitals either. The hospitals that do kidney transplants here all confer with each other. :-\
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Just an update on this for anyone interested - The transplant co-ordinator is going to come see me on Tuesday during my session so I can ask my questions.... so we'll see what she has to say.
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Just an update on this for anyone interested - The transplant co-ordinator is going to come see me on Tuesday during my session so I can ask my questions.... so we'll see what she has to say.
Make sure you got that list of questions ready RichardMel and ask sister is she has any questions to add as well ;) Good luck to the both of you :cuddle;
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Hi again everyone. The lovely Wattle reminded me that I hadn't updated this and she wanted to know what was going on (aussie women are so caring... where's mine?!! lol :) )... so anyway here's a bit of an update, though there's not really much to tell!
I saw the Transplant Co-Ordinator.. she was really lovely (I had met her before at a seminar so I kind of knew that already, but
she spent about half an hour with me which was lovely). Basically she re-iterated the situation with the 2nd opinion - that it was
just that - a 2nd opinion. She also agreed that particular doctor's manner left something to be desired - but she also pointed out
that it's his job to point out the risks to my sister as he sees them. She also agreed that my sister's blood pressure, while currently
under control, could well be an issue (in that if it gets OUT of control when she's only got one kidney, it could be really bad for
her - and none of us want that!).
Anyway the process will continue with an evaluation meeting with all the doctors in the department who weigh up the pros and
cons and make some kind of a medical decision. I asked that if it came down to them being reasonably OK medical wise, but more
of a question with risk, such as the question of my sister's age and the possibility of having children - would we be given an option
to go ahead or not given the risks? She said yes, and that it was called informed consent... they would outline the risks as they see
them but if my sister still wanted to go ahead (or we did) then we could as long as it was firmly understood that we were advised.
She also promised to follow up with my doctor on this as to where we are at. So far she sent me one update email which
was nice but didn't really say anything much.
I didn't ask about another opinion at this point because it sounds like all of the docs have their 2 cents anyway going over her
test results and so on. Perhaps if they deny us we can try a different hospital/team and see what happens though it will likely
mean going through all the tests again??!!
So anyhoo that's it for now....
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Thanks for the update Richard, we are here for you and hope things go the way you two want :cuddle;
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thanks... but if there's even a chance something could happen to my sister I wouldn't want the donation to happen. It's bad enough I have problems I would never forgive myself if something happened to my sister because of a donation.
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Richard i understand your concern. Hope thing turn out for the best... my mother had high blood pressure when giving my sister a kidney, the doctors said that because my sister was so ill it wasn't so much of a concern, anyhow my mother wouldn't of taken no for an answer.
My partner got tested to become a donor when i first got on dialysis, but due to some health issues it didn't want it to happen, like you i wouldn't live with myself if something happend to him.
You seem to have been blessed with an amazing sister. Take things slow and see what happens...
Good luck.... we are hear for you. :grouphug;
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Amanda you hit it on the head with your comment about your mum/sister... See they(docs) consider I am in reasonable health (all the labs are reasonable.. one nurse told me today I was a model patient... don't know how they can claim that with high calcium and a rising PTH, but she said my phosphate at 1.07 was really good). Anyhoo... so they would prob. not consider my sister because of that...
In a way I feel kind of... well not sure how to express it.. but somehow it's like they'd prefer a cavader donor if I am ok health wise but possibly go for my sister if I'm going down the drain.. not too sure how to feel about that.
Anyway I guess all I *can* do is take it slow... though dialysis this week has been a real drag.. I just started thinking "how many years am I going to be stuck here?" and it got me down a bit.
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You would think that anyone who had a donor, especially one that matched, they would get them transplanted so they can get them OFF of dialysis A.S.A.P. but i guess that isnt always the case huh? I thought the whole thing was to find donors that matched and get those patients out of there, boy, was i wrong (again) ::)
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Well yes it is, but if there's a concern for the donor (eg: the blood pressure) then they don't really want to create possibly 2 patients when there's one already. I guess the decision making process, or rather the pros and cons change if the intended recipient is in a bad shape and it looks like there's no other option for them.
I suppose doctors see it that if you're stable on dialysis that's OK medically and in no need to rush into anything. Easy for them to say they're not stuck on the damn machine! lol
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:grouphug; Hang in there Richard. They are fussy with potential donors. You could always try RMH for a second opinion.
If you would rather not..... the phone will ring eventually ;)
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I think my brother might like to try RMH for a cross-match transplant (I think that's right?) but not sure how my sister might feel. I'd leave it up to them to decide if they want to keep pursuing this as it's really their decision rather than mine.
ty anyway Wattle... the phone might ring but somehow I feel like it won't be for ages.. trying to keep positive but it IS that much more difficult going to yet another session thinking how many hundreds more will I have to endure?
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Sorryto hear richard your having such a hard time..... i agree with wattle go for a second opinion...
hope all works out for u ... :cuddle;
Amanda xxoo
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well we'll see.. but in the meantime I am so wrapped for everyone else that is on the way to something better - hopefully successful and long lasting transplants!!!!
Then you will ALL have to have beers (or whatever you like) for me to celebrate! :D
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Richard,
I just try to go day by day and not let the bigger picture creep into my head too much. Try to forget about the next session until its upon you. I have only been on dialysis for two years and I agree most of the time it does consume my thoughts. There are so many people here that can help with the daily grind of wiping it from your mind. Kitkaz is a perfect example... 8 long years and still has a wicked sense of humor!
Hang in there :grouphug;
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If I am a good example, God help you people!
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If I am a good example, God help you people!
:rofl; :rofl; :rofl; Your Funny :-*
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Time for another update folks:
Today we had the psych evaluation and also stopped by to see the Dialysis Co-Ordinator so my sister could meeet her etc.
Well not too much to say about the psych evaluation though we did feel the person doing it was a bit of a cold fish and a little odd - but I guess you have to be detacted in situations like that.. but we did mention our cats and she did laugh and warm a bit after that point. It was all pretty much as I expected it would be - asking how we feel about the situation... if the transplant goes through or not... a bit about our family history and each of us approaching this donor process etc. Went for about an hour which was longer than I expected but pretty thorough.
The end result really is that we know pretty much what we knew before - all the test results for my sister seem A-OK but they are concerned about a few things such as her (controlled) blood pressure and a couple of other medications she's on. These concerns seem pretty reasonable and I think that is what will kill this donation attempt to be quite frank. Having said that if there was even a WIFF that something bad could happen to my sister as a result of, or compounded by, me taking a kidney then I don't want to do that.
Anyway we finally have a date!!!
A date, that is, for the transplant evaluation meeting when they will all get together and decide if we continue on or the risks outweigh the benefit. Looks like that's June 6th... so in a week and a bit from now.
At least we should know one way or the other which will end a few months of frustration for my sister who has put a lot of things on hold waiting to hear what happens with all this.. so hopefully in a week or so she'll have a much better idea... so that is good!
So yeah that's all there is to update on at this point in time.
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Thanks for the update Richard. One more week and you'll know either way which is good
Tamara xxx ooo :cuddle;
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Just another thing I forgot to add...
I also got a clarification on the transplant list....
I had previously been told I'd been on the list for 3 years or so so I decided to ask the co-ordinator while I was with her the exact date. Of course it's not like first come first served etc so it doesn't REALLY matter but in terms of average waits and so on it gives some small measure of an idea where you stand.
So anyway turns out I first went on the list in August, 2003 - so that's nearly 4 years ago...
however
The date of becomming active on dialysis is the real date they use since according to the co-ordinator they weight selections on HLA matches then time on dialysis (which seems fair to me).. so thus I've only been on dialysis for 10 months so that's the figure that would be taken into account. Aparently here the average wait is 4 years so that suggests I wouldn't get a call anytime soon (assuming the donation doesn't happen).
I know that it's just averages and you need calls < 4 years as much as some > than 4 years to make that an average figure, but all things being equal I guess it means prob another 3 or so years at least I may have to wait...
Which kind of changed things for me that little bit since I was feeling like I would be hitting that "average" time soon and might have a chance of something soon.
ah well at least I have some idea about that and how it works so it was useful to ask.
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Well folks... this is it.
Today is D Day... yes it's June 6th (here in oz anyway)... so appropriate I guess.. but not only is it the anniversary of D-day as in World War II, but it's also my personal D day as the kidney donation assessment meeting is scheduled for later today where I am led to believe my sister's request to donate to me will be discussed and decisions made.
Frankly as I've indicated earlier I feel the donation will be turned down because of my sister's blood pressure. I'm 90% certain that will be the decision.. And yes that would be disappointing but at least my sister has tried and wanted to and I could not ask more of anyone... and I would NOT want a risk like that to potentially cause her problems down the track.. so if the doctors think it's too big a risk I'm willing to accept that because I'd rather one of us was in trouble rather than potentially two of us!
However there's always that slim chance they may say yes and we continue on.
Not sure when we'll hear something.. may be today or in a few days.. I hope it is sooner rather than later so at least my sister can get on with her life (which has been on hold these past 6 months or so while going through this process)... that in itself would be a positive.
I'll post more when I hear :)
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Thanks for the update.
Take care!
Karol
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Richard, Good Luck and remember, no matter what the outcome, we are here and we love you :cuddle;
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OK another update.. though not much of one (*frustrated sigh*):
My sister and I got fed up with waiting so my sister emailed the co-ordinator to ask what the deal was... she wrote back and said they had a "long discussion" at the transplant meeting about it (uh oh) and we should really see the neph about the issues.
Well you know this pissed me off. We are well AWARE of the issues... and if they are going to decline the donation because of the risks... fine.. but tell us.. don't make us wait around wondering just so you can sit there with us and say "Well you know we have these issues with X, Y and Z so we've decided to not proceed with this live donation" - puhlease! I'd rather be told that in email or phone than having to wait for an appt (and my neph is so busy it's not funny.. getting an appointment with him is like winning the lottery).
If however it means they feel there are risks we should be aware of, and should we want to proceed it's on our shoulders ("informed consent") then fine.. but I'd rather know one way or the other without eaiting.
So I wrote a bit of a direct email to all concerned (after discussing it with my sister of course!) saying basically that... Well no real response except that we do have an appointment with the neph next Thursday at 8:30am (amazing) so that was good of them to do that.
However I am still irritated that it took US to contact THEM to even get to this point. Why couldn't someone have contacted my sister on Wednesday when the meeting was to say "look there are issues we want to discuss with you. can you come in ASAP?"
A bit disappointing the way this has been handled.. and it is unusual because these guys are normally pretty good.
so that's all for now... going into a long weekend with not much real idea what the deal is (though I think the "you need to talk to the doc" line really suggests that they are going to say no go... which I did predict :) )
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Shall I say it for you....and all of us waiting and waiting....."Sh*T"!
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another update:
Finally got a nice (and long) email from the neph.
The decision is no.
so well.. yeah... not much else to say really.
I'm a bit more bummed than I thought I would be since this was pretty much what i thought the response would be.
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You hang in there RichardMel, you never know when a cadaver will come up, i know it is upsetting and hard to understand but please somehow find it as a Blessing in Disguise, we love ya friend :cuddle;
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:cuddle; I am so sorry Richard that the transplant has not gone ahead. But maybe it is for the best. They must have had some good reasons to say no. They have obviously thought hard about the outcome and must believe this is the best for all concerned.
I have been in the position you are in now and the disappointment is overwhelming. {{{{insert hug}}}} Try not to let it get you down. :grouphug;
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I know guys and trust me I apprieciate the reasons for the denial..they are concerned about the possible effect on my sister in 20-30 years.. and I always said if there was an unacceptable level of risk for her I wouldn't want it anyway.
Actually I'm doing mostly OK. It's my sister who is really upset and depressed and I don't really know what to say to her. At least she knows now and can get on with her life.
As for me.. well I just soldier on I guess and keep going to dialysis. Who knows what the future holds? I suppose my turn will come sometime but I doubt it will be anytime soon (going by the averages).
I do admit though as much as I was expecting this decison it has still hit me a bit.. I mean I guess there was always a little bit of hope that maybe something could happen and they'd allow it and well maybe in a few months I could be hoipefully rid of dialysis... I think it will be worse tomorrow when I go in for yet another session and instead of the "well maybe this might be one of the last 20 or 30" well now it could be 200 or 300... I think that will be hard.
anyway thanks for all your support. I'll be ok just well... yeah.. not much else to say i guess.
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Tell your sister thank you and you love her for her support and offer! Somethings just are not meant to be.
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Oh I have and she knows... she just feels very sad that I'm stuck with dialysis for God knows how long.
I'm kind of happy though.. she can get on with life and whatever happens to me won't affect her health wise...
All I could ask of my brother and sister is that they offered and did what they could.. it didn't work out for both of them but at least they tried for me and did their best. That's all I could ever expect.
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I am sorry Richard. Not much else I can say. Disappointment seems to go hand in hand with kidney failure. So much to deal with. Here's a hug :cuddle; and wish things had turned out different for you.
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Thanks Paris - that's sweet xox.
I guess with all the positive stories and outcomes for folks on here someone had to even up the score a bit... :)
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Just caught the end of this thread Richard. So Sorry. But at least now you know, and that your sister and brother did try for you, a lot more than some other people can say about their relatives on here.Anyway here's more Hugs to add to your collection :cuddle;
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woohoo.. can never get too many hugs.
Yeah Tamara it's interesting you say that because the transplant co-ordinator came to visit me today at Dialysis to sort of de-brief over what happened and she made the same point that some families.. nobody wants to give that sort of gift so I was specially lucky to have both siblings want to and try but badly unlucky it didn't work out.
Anyhoo I'm doing OK now... just waitin for that ol' phone call I guess!
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Richard, I am sorry to hear of your problem. I have to ask you a stupid question. Have you given any thought to going to another hospital? Is that even an option? They have made transplant so much easier now i am somewhat surprised they wouldn't go through it. My brothers girlfriend had some thoughts of donating to me she has two children. I have asked her to think about it and get back to me. I brought up the fact that if needed she may be a donor for one of her kids. My brothers blood pressure was the same as your sisters. Sometimes fate has a funny way of dealing with things. Perhaps in the future your sister may have a child and have to donate. We just don't know. Hell i believed i would only be married once!!