I Hate Dialysis Message Board
Dialysis Discussion => Dialysis: Spouses and Caregivers => Topic started by: CissyKay on January 15, 2016, 11:50:40 AM
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I guess I'm just sad and bored and lonely, and blatantly looking for sympathy, but our Bruce ( yes him, of unbearable cuteness in the pic) died on Wednesday evening. I'm finished.
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This is worse than when a person dies. Nothing beats a good dog.
My sympathies to you.
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My sympathies. :(
I still miss every dog I have had that has crossed the rainbow bridge.
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I am sorry for your loss, pets fill a large niche in the lives of people who care for them, and the loss leaves a void that takes a wile to fill. I miss every dog, and cat that I was fortunate enough to have in my life for a while. As time passes the loss is replaced by the memories.
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I am a real dog person and I understand in the depths of me what a loss you have suffered. I'm so sorry. Dogs are so "naked" and authentic that we tend to be so in their presence. So (some of us) can actually get much closer to dogs than to people and there aren't the usual barriers that humans tend to put up. Dogs can really get under your skin. I have a 14 year old dog, Roxie, (my avatar) and I am hoping she can hold on for several more years. Some day you will feel ready to fill the "dog spot" in your heart again. Until then, my heart goes out to you.
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Pet, a very short word that cannot come anywhere near expressing what our animals really are to us. They are like our children that never grow up, always needing our care and attention. Always there to share with us, all times, not just the good, not only the bad, but everything. Always there to give love, especially when we most need it.
I cherish my memories of those that I have lost. I spend even more attention on the one I have left. I do not know if I will have another, only time will tell.
Someday, another may come into my life and if so, I will once again learn to love.
I truly am sorry for your loss. Only with time may you not feel so damaged.
Take Care,
Charlie B53
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I am a cat person, but I sure do sympathize with you in the loss of your furry friend. When I had to put down my 13 year old cat that I had bottle fed as a lost baby, I wanted to die right along side of him. but you can't. Oddly enough he died of kidney failure. No, I meant, he had severe kidney failure and could no longer eat or drink, so the vet said it was too late.
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Kidney failure is what took our love bug Herbie, the one-eyed Beagle. Undiagnosed diabetes. We didn't have a clue. And we are both diabetic, and I'm on PD 2 1/2 years.
Herbie just laid down one day. Vet told us it was too late to do anything but let him go.
Even the Vet cried with us.
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I think what gets me is the not being allowed to grieve for him properly. In the big scheme of things and all that...
When it became obvious that the vet is trying to tell us that Brucie wasn't going to make it ("managing expectations", as she called it), I started crying. And one does. And my husband, who's been veering between madness, mania, anger, frustration and complete sanity, depending on the day/hour, tuns on me and sneers: "It's not the end of the world, you know. It's not like you're on a train on the way to Dachau or anything."
Which is kinda hilarious, and yeah, I'm not on my way to a concentration camp, but really? I can't be sad about the dog? We're all going a bit bonkers around here.
Thanks for being here. It sometimes feels like nobody is else is, doesn't it? ( sheesh, am I a ball of self-pity or what?)
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Your Husband does not have the empathy that you have.
It IS the end of this world, for Bruce. And YOU are very sad to see him go.
Husband should realize how much this does mean to you, be respectful and supportive of you.
Sorry that your Hubby can seem so cold. I'm sure other times he can be quite the Gentleman. He is still learning, much like us all. We all have yet a lot to learn.
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Besides your husband's lack of self-control or sensitivity in relation to your loss, our whole society is that way. Many people just can't let themselves near someone who is feeling something deeply--for fear that it will rub off on them and, god forbid, they'll have to feel something deeply with you.
And then there is the classic response "Oh, it's only a dog. You can always get a new one." Clearly, there is a kernel of truth in that. You CAN get another dog--at some point. But you will never have another Bruce, nor the particular relationship you had with him. That is one of a kind. Sure. It's not a trip to Dachau, but pain and loss should never be measured against some other pain or loss. Pain is pain. Loss is loss. And when you're in the midst of it, it hurts. A lot.
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I know that when my dog dies, it will cause much more grief that when the neph had "the conversation" with me.
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Losing your pet is difficult. My sympathies and best wishes to you.
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Thank you, all. To hubby's defence, he is the world's biggest dog lover. He sobbed the next day. Sobbed for our Bruce. I've known him 20-odd years and have never seen him cry (OK, there was that time England won the Rugby World Cup, but that doesn't really count, does it?) ;)
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We call them Furbabies on here and they are family.
I am so sorry for your loss. :pray;