I Hate Dialysis Message Board
Dialysis Discussion => Dialysis: Humor, Pictures, Stories and Poems => Topic started by: KidneyThief on February 03, 2015, 09:33:05 PM
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It all started when one night I was feeling incredibly productive and decided to attempt to fix my mother's toilet for her. It was flushing alright when you initially pressed the handle, but for some reason had little to no suction. It would swirl...and swirl..and swirl...then it was done. Chances are whatever business ended up in there was just caught in a pointless 30 second, anxiety ridden whirlpool of "Good God, I hope at least some of it goes." It's an old toilet. It's antique ceramic. It was destined for ultimate failure at some point. But I was unwilling to accept this. I think I started to see the toilet as a reflection of myself. I HAD to fix it. It HAD to make something right. If I could fix the damn toilet tonight...everything in the universe would systematically fall into balance and life would be good again.
So I went at it with the plunger as though it owed me money. I got the bowl clear of everything and snaked it. When that failed, I inspected the interior of the tank closer and realized there was a lot of mineral build up around some of the parts. I needed to drain the tank...without letting it run. A light bulb went off. I got one of my unused PD drain tubes and used it to drain the tank into the bathtub...the same way one might siphon gas from a car during the zombie apocalypse, by sucking on the end and letting gravity and suction do it's job. And hoping I didn't get a mouthful of toilet tank water. Clean, but still, y'know...not mentally pleasant. So it worked. The tank drained and I spent another hour messing with the insides. Once everything was put back together, it flushed a little better. The lightest little nuggets still swirled stubbornly around but it worked. Of course after relaying my methods to mom and the ingenuity of using a PD tube as a hose, she asked why I didn't just flush it then turn the water off at the back. I may be resourceful but I never claimed to be a plumber.
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And hoping I didn't get a mouthful of toilet tank water
why didn't you suck clean water, clamp the drain end, put your finger over the end in the toilet, and unclamp when in place?
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And hoping I didn't get a mouthful of toilet tank water
why didn't you suck clean water, clamp the drain end, put your finger over the end in the toilet, and unclamp when in place?
Guess I fell asleep in Hose Sucking 101?
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^
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Well babes I'm well impressed.
:2thumbsup;
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That did sound wrong. LoL...ohhh well.
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Kidney Thief, You have a way with words. You could write a book of collected stories and I would read it.
Erma Bombeck,had made a career of writing about all the things around her. Now that she is gone youo could easily fill the void she left for those of us looking for a humorous bent on everyday life occurrences.
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Why thank you Charlie! I fully intend on plaguing the forum with my ridiculous banter and silly, often nonsensical stories.