I Hate Dialysis Message Board

Off-Topic => Off-Topic: Talk about anything you want. => Topic started by: pagandialysis on April 27, 2013, 05:44:57 PM

Title: Divorce
Post by: pagandialysis on April 27, 2013, 05:44:57 PM
Yeah....the wife is divorcing me....

*sad*






Edited: Moved to off topic area- kitkatz,Moderator
Title: Re: Divorce
Post by: Rerun on April 27, 2013, 06:36:54 PM
I'm sorry.  Why do you think this is happening?

      :(
Title: Re: Divorce
Post by: MaryD on April 27, 2013, 06:39:18 PM
I'm sorry, too, Pagandyalysis.       :grouphug;

I hope it goes smoothly for you.






 
Title: Re: Divorce
Post by: Joe on April 27, 2013, 06:46:12 PM
Sorry to hear that Pagandialysis. I've been there, and while it sucks now, you'll get through it.
Title: Re: Divorce
Post by: pagandialysis on April 27, 2013, 06:48:32 PM
She said a million reasons and unfortunately my illness was one of them. That's what hurt me the most.
Title: Re: Divorce
Post by: drgirlfriend on April 27, 2013, 07:08:22 PM
I'm sorry, Pagan. Be kind to yourself.
Title: Re: Divorce
Post by: willowtreewren on April 27, 2013, 07:19:40 PM
That was a low blow. I'm so sorry.

Title: Re: Divorce
Post by: geoffcamp on April 27, 2013, 08:06:30 PM
I'm truly sorry. I hate seeing these posts. It's so hard to find someone strong enough to be their own person and be with a person like us with our unique issues. Usually in my case I've found that I need a woman who has her own established life and career at minimum to even consider dating or marring someone. Emotionally it's pure hell and financially it seems it takes two incomes to have a chance a decent life. I'm assuming by your post there is no chance for cousiling or reconciliation. I've been there where you are just never been married. I wish you the best and you know you have the support of all your IHD family!  I hope better days are waiting as soon as you get thru the tough time. G.
Title: Re: Divorce
Post by: jbeany on April 27, 2013, 08:32:02 PM
My ex used the same reason.  When I reminded him that he knew I was sick when he married me, he responded with, "I didn't think it would be this bad for this long."

Peachy.  I'll try to die faster next time.

Seriously, though - he's just as miserable with his mistress/new wife as he claimed to be with me.  (Ah, the fun of knowing everyone in a small town - you hear everything!)  I'm so much better off without him, I should have sent her a thank you note.

You and your illness are NOT why she's leaving.    It's the one thing neither one of you can change, no matter how much you want to.  After all, you can't stop being sick, so there's nothing to deal with in a counseling session.  It's just an oh-so-convenient excuse to use to not try to work things out.

She's breaking a vow - and that's on her head.

 :cuddle;
Title: Re: Divorce
Post by: MaryJoe on April 28, 2013, 02:55:30 AM
I'm sorry you're hurting.  I have to agree with jbeany, your illness is probably not the reason she's leaving, it's just the most obvious frustration. (for both of you)  I hope you have friends and family close by for support, and of course, you always have us.    :grouphug;

 
Title: Re: Divorce
Post by: Poppylicious on April 28, 2013, 10:05:43 AM
So sorry pagan. 

*huggles*
Title: Re: Divorce
Post by: okarol on April 28, 2013, 02:58:39 PM
So sorry. One door closes and another door opens. Hopefully the next chapter is good. HUGS!  :cuddle;
Title: Re: Divorce
Post by: Rerun on April 29, 2013, 09:54:50 AM
My ex used the same reason.  When I reminded him that he knew I was sick when he married me, he responded with, "I didn't think it would be this bad for this long."

Peachy.  I'll try to die faster next time.

Seriously, though - he's just as miserable with his mistress/new wife as he claimed to be with me.  (Ah, the fun of knowing everyone in a small town - you hear everything!)  I'm so much better off without him, I should have sent her a thank you note.

 :cuddle;



        :rofl;   :rofl;
Title: Re: Divorce
Post by: chiromac on April 29, 2013, 08:30:34 PM
There is nothing good I can say about Divorce, it really sucks.  I was luck I went through mine about 6 months before I started dialysis, the only positive thing is with that stress removed from your life it makes dialysis a bit easier.  Good luck and I hope things get better.
Title: Re: Divorce
Post by: BobN on April 30, 2013, 04:36:07 AM
Hang in there bro.
Title: Re: Divorce
Post by: kit78 on April 30, 2013, 03:32:17 PM
So sorry Pagan...  please try to keep your spirits up.  Things will get better.
Title: Re: Divorce
Post by: lmunchkin on May 07, 2013, 07:57:56 PM
Im sooooo sorry to hear this.  Im like Karol, when one door closes another one opens.  Be good to yourself Pagan. You deserve better!

God Bless,
lmunchkin :kickstart;
Title: Re: Divorce
Post by: Jean on May 08, 2013, 01:10:41 AM
So sorry to hear this and I know you are hurting. It does get better in time. Really, I agree with the others. She is just too self centered to deal with your illness and you did not ask for ESRD, so try to work around it and continue with your own life.
Title: Re: Divorce
Post by: pagandialysis on May 12, 2013, 05:37:06 AM
Well, I ended up in Buffalo NY living with my sister and her family. I will start looking for my own place on Tuesday and I have to apply for the state Medicaid, food stamps, and go tell SSI....this is going to be soooo fun.
Title: Re: Divorce
Post by: cariad on May 12, 2013, 05:59:13 AM
Well, I ended up in Buffalo NY living with my sister and her family. I will start looking for my own place on Tuesday and I have to apply for the state Medicaid, food stamps, and go tell SSI....this is going to be soooo fun.
Sorry to hear what you're going through, pagan. I hope this is the start of a wonderful, new life. Best of luck!
Title: Re: Divorce
Post by: AnnieB on May 12, 2013, 04:57:58 PM
I'm so sorry to hear this, pagan. You *will* get through this, no matter how crummy you may feel right now. I will be sending you lots of healing thoughts.  :cuddle; :cuddle; :cuddle;
Title: Re: Divorce
Post by: rhaggz on June 04, 2013, 08:50:46 PM
I feel ya man... My wife walked in a month ago and told me she wasn't happy. She never said it was because of my illness, However I had seen her withdraw more and more as other medical issues popped up. She is having a midlife crisis I think... She works with a bunch of kids that party and have a good time most ever weekend. She goes to have fun with them and I never said anything, in fact in 22 years together we only had one fight and that was before we got married. But she just decided to leave... No discussion, no arguing, no nothing. she just left...
Title: Re: Divorce
Post by: pagandialysis on June 18, 2013, 07:36:12 PM
I signed the papers today....
Title: Re: Divorce
Post by: Jean on June 19, 2013, 01:07:51 AM
As my Mother used to tell me" Time wounds all heels". You will get thru this, keep your chin up.
Title: Re: Divorce
Post by: MaryJoe on June 19, 2013, 01:04:13 PM
I'm sorry pagan. I hope you have supportive family and friends close by to help you get through this. I know cyberhugs aren't quite as comforting as the real thing, but   :cuddle; :cuddle; it's the best I can do all things considered.
Title: Re: Divorce
Post by: Lexxtech18 on June 19, 2013, 04:17:28 PM
Ahh, the "illness excuse"... yup, I've heard that one before. *sigh* So sorry, pagan. We're here for ya.  :cuddle;
Title: Re: Divorce
Post by: CebuShan on June 19, 2013, 05:27:19 PM
So sorry to hear, Pagan   :cuddle; 
Title: Re: Divorce
Post by: pagandialysis on September 17, 2013, 12:29:41 PM
Update:

Well I moved in with my sister and her family who live outside of Buffalo NY and I spent the summer with them. I just recently moved to Lockport NY (I live next to the Locks on the Erie Canal) and I am working to get all of my insurance and food stamps and such moved to this county.

So far so good.
Title: Re: Divorce
Post by: Shaks24 on September 17, 2013, 01:36:48 PM
Pagan, glad to hear you are moving on. I have been divorced once and it was difficult to say the least. Can not imagine it happening in the midst of ESRD but I guess it happens. I am just happy to hear you are moving on and things seem to be ok. Stay strong. My thoughts are with you.
Title: Re: Divorce
Post by: okarol on September 26, 2013, 11:19:08 PM
Update:

Well I moved in with my sister and her family who live outside of Buffalo NY and I spent the summer with them. I just recently moved to Lockport NY (I live next to the Locks on the Erie Canal) and I am working to get all of my insurance and food stamps and such moved to this county.

So far so good.

 :thumbup; :thumbup; :thumbup;
Title: Re: Divorce
Post by: Sugarlump on October 01, 2013, 10:48:01 AM
 :cuddle;
Title: Re: Divorce
Post by: Rerun on October 01, 2013, 03:58:01 PM
Good Job!!  Get a dog!
Title: Re: Divorce
Post by: CebuShan on October 02, 2013, 08:56:05 AM
Good Job!!  Get a dog!

Or a cat! Or BOTH!
Title: Re: Divorce
Post by: pagandialysis on October 23, 2013, 02:50:07 PM
I'm getting a house plant and some fish. I don't want to be tied down to anything too labor intensive and time consuming unless it's romantic in nature.
Title: Re: Divorce
Post by: Joe on October 23, 2013, 06:36:01 PM
Good for you!  :clap;