I Hate Dialysis Message Board

Off-Topic => Off-Topic: Talk about anything you want. => Topic started by: bleija on August 09, 2012, 10:37:31 AM

Title: My best friend
Post by: bleija on August 09, 2012, 10:37:31 AM
I had to put down my dog last night. When he got up yesterday he wwasnt acting right. U sually when i take him out w/o a leash he stays in one small area in fron of our apartment to do his business, but yesterday he seemed to want to wander around, trying to head near the road and the ntoward the dumpster. I ddnt think nothing of it, just called him back and told him to go potty. We went back inside and i fed him, he ate his food but not as excitedly as usual, again ddnt think anything of it. my husband got up a little later, and he brought out the laser toy, our cat and dog love chasing the laser. the cat was all over it, but Anubyss just kinda sat and watched. Since my transplant i had made a promise to myself and my dog that i would be a better owner, to take him out and exercise him like he should be. I have been taking him out the last couple days and he has been his normal high energy self. But when i took him out yesterday, we played fetch ( i have a chuck it, hes a bigdog so if i had throw it myself i wear out my arm) we were out there about 15 mins and he seemed to be getting tired. so i gave him some water, he really ddnt drink much of it, i just figured he wanted to play, so i poured it over his head. i threw the ball one more time and he went and got it, but rather than bringing it back to me he took it and lied down in the shade, i figured it was time to go. i tried to give him some water again, he wasnt interested. As we were walking back home he started literally draggin his feet, as if he couldnt walk properly. ichecked his feet and he ddnt act as if they were hurting him. then he got really wobbly. so i told him to lie down. i thought i just wore him out. i called my husband to come pick us up. we brought hiom home and put him in front of a fan to help cool him off. My husband thought he just got too hot. we left to take my mother in law some food, and when we got back and checked on him, he had thrown up his food from that day. about an hour later he gets up, walking slow but normal makes it half way to the door and drops a diarhea poo in the livingroom, i rushed him back to the laundry room, off the carpet, and he let the rest out. i cleaned it up and him up. and ,maybe 10 mins later he did it again. he looked so pitiful, and as i was clewaning the expression on his face, i could just see him saying, im sorry momma, i tried to get outside. i felt so terrible for him. about 7 it cooled off enough outside, so we put him on the proch with a blanket to lay on, and he was sleep, we left water out for him, but i dnt beleive he drank any of it. about 930 when my husbnand checked on him he was twitching having like tremors, he was responding to us anymore, so we called the emergency vet, they told us it could be heat stroke, but they would have to see him for sure. so we took him in, and the took his termp, he was at 105, he looked so lifeless. in my heart i knew he wouldnt make it, but i couldnt admit it to my self. a few mins later the vet came out and told us, he was having a major heat stroke, if we tried to save him his chances of making it through the next 24 hours were slim to none. and it would be thousands of dollars. and even if he did make it, he would be brain damamged, his organs would be compromised, and prolly the most humane thing to do was to put him down. i never thought i would be able to make that decision, but as he said that i heard Anubyss cry out, that was the first noise he had made all day. the vet ran back and gave him some valium, and they gave us a few minutes with him to say goodbye. he looked so peaceful, as if he were asleep, and all i could say to him was that i was sorry. they came in and gave him the stuff as i watched him take his last breaths, it was peaceful. we buried him at my moms house.
i  am devastated. he was my first dog on my own. i feel like he was my gaurdian angel. When i found out my problems, and when they thought i had cancer, i would sit and talk to him and he would look me in the as if he was understanding. everytime i cried he would rub up against me to try and make me feel better. he protected me. although i knew he could never hurt anybody, nobody else did, all they saw was a giant black dog. he always knew when i was gonna get an infection, he would stay at my feet and comfort me. in a way i know he was my angel. and i guess now that i have my transplant hes goone to help someone else, but i wasnt ready to let him go. he would have been 4 years next month. i had him since he was 8 weeks. RIP Anubyss, sept 5 2008-aug 8, 2012
 :'(
Title: Re: My best friend
Post by: Traveller1947 on August 09, 2012, 03:35:20 PM
I'm so sorry to hear your sad news about Anubyss.  The way you describe his taking care of you makes it really sound as though he was your guardian angel.  Grieve for him, but also remember all your adventures together.  Thinking of you and wishing youu all the best.
Title: Re: My best friend
Post by: galvo on August 09, 2012, 05:03:16 PM
My sympathy. It is so sad when they go. He's at the Rainbow Bridge now, waiting for you and free from
 all pain.
Title: Re: My best friend
Post by: gothiclovemonkey on August 09, 2012, 05:52:03 PM
 :grouphug; :grouphug; :grouphug; :grouphug; :grouphug; :grouphug; :grouphug; :grouphug; :grouphug;
That is one of the hardest things ever have to do. im sorry
*hugs u tight*
Title: Re: My best friend
Post by: boswife on August 09, 2012, 05:56:50 PM
 :'(  im so sorry...  this is so hard.  We just went through nearly the same with my daughters old dog.  So hard, takes a lot of love to get through it..   :cuddle;
Title: Re: My best friend
Post by: bleija on August 09, 2012, 06:00:32 PM
i never thought i could be able to say yeah, put him down, but when the time came and everything the vet said, i knew it wouldnt be fair to force him to keep going on, and hearing him cry out just broke my heart. im at home most of the time right now b of the transplant, and everytime i walk by one of his usual nap spots, it tears me up and i cant keep it to gether. i was in the bathroom ewarlier, and nuby knew how to open doors, and would always check on me when i wwas in there. well today the cat pushed the door open, and my instinct was it was nuby, and when i saw the cat i just cried. its been little things like that all day. this morning when i got up, i went strait to the laundry room to take him out to go potty. half asleep, i opened the door, the cat came out  and i cried.
i know it will take time for me to adjust, but ever since i moved out on my own hes been with me and now hes gone, my heart is broken. my cat has been super cuddley, and if hes not with me then hes by the door, im guessing waiting for nuby to come home.
when we came back from the vet last night, we could see the cat sitting in the front window waiting
Title: Re: My best friend
Post by: Poppylicious on August 10, 2012, 06:01:41 AM
Awww, so sorry ...  :'(
Title: Re: My best friend
Post by: conchman on August 10, 2012, 06:58:21 PM
Having had to let several of my pups go over the years I feel for you.  It always brings this grown man to tears.  Time will heal your pain, we always say that due to the hurt we will never...but then a pup in need finds us and we adopt again.  Peace to you and yours...

 :grouphug;

Title: Re: My best friend
Post by: bleija on August 10, 2012, 07:34:43 PM
i dnt know, yesterday i cleaned up the apartment, had let it go a little b cof nuby, but when i was done, i got a sense of releif that i cant explain. i know he was my angel, i got him right before i found out abotu all my issues. but he was there wiyth me through everything, and now that i got my transplant and everythign is ok, he was sent to be with someone else. he was an amazing dog, i loved him and im gonna miss him. he is irreplacable, i will never find another tht will be anything like him. but just tryign to remember all the good times we had together.
Title: Re: My best friend
Post by: glitter on August 11, 2012, 06:59:06 AM
I am sorry you lost your friend/pet, he sounded like quite a wonderful dog.  :grouphug;
Title: Re: My best friend
Post by: AnnieB on August 11, 2012, 12:46:35 PM
 :grouphug;  so sorry to hear about your loss, bleija. He's probably still there in spirit, looking out for you.
Title: Re: My best friend
Post by: kitkatz on August 11, 2012, 01:27:08 PM
I am so sorry you lost your guardian angel pup.   :grouphug;
Title: Re: My best friend
Post by: MomoMcSleepy on August 22, 2012, 11:01:11 AM
I'm story that you lost him so young!  It's awful at any time.  Poor baby.   :'(
Title: Re: My best friend
Post by: Riki on October 04, 2012, 04:10:44 PM
I had to do the same thing on Monday.  My cat, Reese, had bladder crystals that had accumulated into stones.  He was blocked last week, but had blocked again.  When we took him in to the vet, he told that Reese would probably need surgery, that we really couldn't afford.  He said he'd unblock Reese, and gave us to the next day to decide what to do.  About 15 after we left the vet clinic, the doctor called me.  He said that the pressure of the catheter against his full bladder ruptured the bladder.  We had to made a decision right then.  I was on one phone talking to the doctor, and Mom was on the other phone, talking to my dad, asking if I could borrow the money for the surgery from him.  I asked the doctor what Reese's odds were of coming through the surgery and being himself again, and he said it was 50/50.  I didn't feel right putting Reese through all that pain if he wasn't going to pull through.  We went back to the clinic and said goodbye, then we took him home and buried him in the back yard.  Yesterday, I got a sympathy card from the vet clinic.  I thought that was very nice of them.  I spent most of the day Tuesday posting videos of Reese on facebook
Title: Re: My best friend
Post by: bleija on October 04, 2012, 08:48:51 PM
I am so sorry... thats a hard decision to make... i never thought i would be able to do it until the facts were there on the table, he was such a great dog, he was with me through my whole dialysis experience every step... and i knew i couldnt expect to to fight this... he had slim to no chance... vet said if even by some miracle he came o0ut of it, he would have multiple organ failure and brain damage... i ddnt want him to have to go through that... he had a short but happy life... i spoiled him rotton... i miss that he was completely in tune with me, i could look at him and it would be as if he could read my mind.
i did the posting thing too, i went and found every piture i loved of him and made an album completely dedicated to him.., made me feel better reminded me of the happier times in his life
i put nuby down on a wed, that night and the next thurs i cried, could not keep it together whatsoever. then idk when i was alone thurs night, i cleaned everythign in my apartment and i got a sense of relief... the thought of him ddnt make me cry anymore. then saturday we got the card and it made me cry, but it was sweet, i didnt know they did, the nursees that were on staff actually wrote meaningful things in it, and this was the second time in 4 years he had been there... they did not even have his previous records..
a few weeks ago, i had a dream. i was walking around my first apartment complex, when i first got him. and i walk outside of the building and nuby sitting there tall and proud as if he were still alive... in my dream i got to go up to him and pet hug him, tell i loved him, and that i was sorry. and he just looked at me.. but it wasnt a dead stare, it as if i were really petting him. the same look when i would talk to him about all my health problem and my fears... to me it was a "everything will be okay momma" expression... i miss so much even still, but i can enjoy the pictures and videos of him playing and just being nuby.
Title: Re: My best friend
Post by: Riki on October 04, 2012, 11:02:30 PM
I'm still looking for him, but Mom went around the apartment Monday night and cleaned everything.. I was still in shock, and wasn't really paying attention to her.. She emptied and washed his dishes, threw away his litter box, vacuumed in the kitchen and the living room to pick up all the litter that he's tracked around.. I went to bed early, and she was still cleaning.. when I woke up Tuesday morning, I realized that the blanket that I'd made his bed out of was gone, the blanket on the chair in front of the window in her room was gone, and his toys that were scattered in the hallway between my room and hers were all gone.. it was like a cat never lived here... I found the toys on her dresser, and took them out and put them on the table in front of the window in my room, where he used to sit and look out...

This is something that kind of hit me yesterday.. even though I was home all day Tuesday, it wasn't until I got home from dialysis on Wednesday afternoon that I realized, for the first time, that I was all alone in the apartment.. it was a very cold feeling... and I didn't like it
Title: Re: My best friend
Post by: bleija on October 05, 2012, 10:49:47 AM
i would look fast and see nuby in his favorite spots.. or when i use the bathroom, i kinda still look at the door for him to push it oppen... he did not like me not being in his sight... unless we were going to bed..
what was hard for me, was when we took nuby to the emergency vet, our cat knew something wasnt right. in the afternoons when the sun is toward out front windo next to the door, i raise the blinds and he will jump up there and look... well we we came home that night, he sitting there on there on the window sill between the window and the glass, and for about 2 weeks or so he would sit and stare at the door. my guess he was waiting for nuby... they were really good buddies. he never did this before... that was really upsetting...
nuby was a very big unintentionally loud dog... and the cat is very quiet... and that was a constant reminder... so we looked online at puppies, and picked on out and brought her home a little over a month ago, not quite a full month after nuby died
best thing i can say is when you think your ready get another cat... or kitten nothing can brighten your day more that a kitten or puppy
Title: Re: My best friend
Post by: Riki on October 05, 2012, 10:41:12 PM
I'm in the process of getting a guide dog, so I don't think I'll get another cat.  I spend a lot of time on my bed, and I miss the big, orange, purring lump next to me on the bed watching tv with me.  I think Mom wants to get a budgie, but you can't really cuddle with a budgie
Title: Re: My best friend
Post by: bleija on October 06, 2012, 06:54:15 AM
aww, whats a budgie? the puppy i have now, she loves to watch tv... and my cat watches 2 shows dogs 101 and cats 101, the commercials and all he doesnt move at all, oh and he gets mad if you change the channel lol
Title: Re: My best friend
Post by: Riki on October 06, 2012, 12:23:00 PM
A budgie is a bird.. they're usually colored in patches of green and blue.. we had one when I was little, but it was a biter
Title: Re: My best friend
Post by: bleija on October 06, 2012, 02:01:41 PM
oh...