I Hate Dialysis Message Board
Dialysis Discussion => Dialysis: Transplant Discussion => Topic started by: mike22 on May 10, 2012, 09:29:18 AM
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I am waiting for a second kidney. I live with my mom. I move back in after graduating college while doing hemo. I only move back in because I wanted to switch to PD and get use it and move on. I have to say that I dont want a kidney right now. Its kinda odd but I just dont feel settle right now to get one. Simply put I would like to be in my own place when the second kidney comes around. Of course, If i get the call i will go. But it just a feeling i have at the moment. I would like to be settle in my own place, have good transportation, and good finances before my next kidney comes. I graduated last May and been home every since dealing with my adjustment to PD. I from a small town and there are not a lot of jobs here. That has keep me form finding a job until I know I am stable on PD. I want to move to Dallas and start my new life. I need some advice how preparing for a second kidney as young adult looking to live on their on.
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How is your antibody level? I hope that it's low and not an obstacle to getting a transplant. My daughter Jenna is hoping to get another (Last transplant lasted 5 years, still working at 14%), but her antibodies are 100% so it will be difficult. She is 26 years old, living at home and probably wil begin dialysis again soon. PD might be a good choice for her, but we have to see if it'll work as she has had abdominal surgeries (bladder augmentation.)
It must be hard to decide what to do. I think Jenna would love to be independent and on her own. She is still working on getting a driver's license, and is embarrassed that she hasn't gotten it together. But her anemia slows her down and things seem to take forever. Also, since getting laid off 1 1/2 years ago she has not found a job.
I think growing up with CKD changes the whole dynamic of the family. We are in the caretaking mode and sometimes forget that she wants her autonomy. I don't have any answers, but I admire you for thinking ahead and making plans. Best of luck to you!
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Mike, It sounds like you know what you want and working towards that goal. I'm listed, too, but almost daily I go back and forth whether I want to go through with it. They can't force a transplant if you feel you're not in the right place physically, emotionally or financially. It's nice to have that option open, though.
I would suggest to just take it one thing at a time. Stabilize on PD-what obstacles are you having to overcome with that? And realize, too, that minor (or even major) adjustments while on dialysis will probably always happen. Moving to a larger town may improve your job prospects, but even in a small town you can gain work experience that can help you later. Even if you change fields entirely when you get to Dallas, it never hurts to have good references. I'm impressed at your ability to finish college while doing hemo! I couldn't have done that! Visualize the long-term goals and work on short-term goals that will get you there! Best wishes!
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Having read adairpete's post, it reminded me: you can always get evaluated and even if you got a call that a kidney was available, you're under no obligation to take it unless you're ready. But in the meantime you would accrue wait time, so if your situation changes, or dialysis is not as effective, as adairpete mentions, you have options.
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@Okarol-I know i can handle being independent. For me, it is not so much about career and transplant(those are important) but it's about have a comfortable lifestyle in all areas. I'm also trying get my license and I'm 26 years old. Your daughter shouldnt feel bad. I can understand how she feels. For me, it not so much my physical condition but just not have good resources at times to do the things i need to do. I have references in waiting and are willing to write recommendations for jobs and schools. This past mother's day has been my year out of college. I have not had any success of finding work back home. NOW, I am ready to move on with my plans of relocating to Dallas
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Hi mike. I am 28 and working on getting a second transplant . How far away is Dallas from where you're at now? I think it'd be important to have support wherever you are going to be living. Perhaps you could connect with some sort of group of people before moving. I think the adjustment would be easier if you know there is someone you can call if you needed anything. Before my 1st transplant I let kidney failure run my life. I wouldn't do things I wanted to because of the "what ifs". I think this time around I look at it more like life (family, work, travelling, etc) come 1st and kidney failure and dialysis I will fit in to my schedule. It's not in charge of my life. --I know this is easier said than done.
I hope things work out for you and you can start your life after college and you get a transplant when you're ready. The adjustment is hard enough for graduates & you add ckd to that too...that's tough. You will get through it though! Best wishes!! :)
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@Melissa19564 My best friend from college is from Dallas. He doesn't live there but his parents still do. Plus I know him and his brothers, all from Dallas. I've met his mom once but it feels like I've known her forever. He has given me her number and I'm going to call this summer just to reach out and tell them I will be moving there. So, I am very fortunate to have met him because he is like another brother to me who knows my entire situation.