I Hate Dialysis Message Board
Dialysis Discussion => Dialysis: Spouses and Caregivers => Topic started by: texasstyle on March 07, 2012, 09:52:21 AM
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Mike hasn't been taking his BP or any for that matter, pills in about a month or so now. Maybe just a few times one of the Bp meds when he occassinally checks his BP on our moniter and it's high. he breaths heavy, has no stamina, tired, and basiclly lives on the couch. I caled the unit today. his BP was 203/169 today and they got it down a bit. Last few sesions were 215/160, and high like that. they want him to come in again tomorrow to get more fluid off and nurse told me he refused. I'm so tired. i know something bad is going to happen (again). I just wanted vent because I know I can. I know I can't change anything. Thank you for letting me do just that simple thing. Love you all.
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:cuddle;
What is wrong with some of these men, I don't get it either, my hubby always drinks too much fluid too, I am sorry you have to put up with that, hang in there kiddo, vent anytime you need too, we are all here listening!
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*huggles* for my lovely texie. I don't have any words of wisdom (nothing new there) so *huggles* are all I can offer. I really hope he comes to his senses and gets in there tomorrow to get the extra fluid off. Bless you both.
*huggles* (again, because you can never have too many).
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well...he took a BP pill and with a session and a pill it's down to 107/60-something. Of course this temporary but I gave him a "huggles" too weather he liked it or not lol. I figure instead of getting mad, and feeling on the outside, maybe I should hoard him with compasssion.
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Oh, TS.....
:grouphug; :grouphug; :grouphug;
Aleta
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TS - :grouphug; :flower; :grouphug; :flower;
Don't know what to say. Maybe compassion is the best thing - less stress than arguing with him.
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Aw Tex....I hate to see you stressed out but sure understand it. Bombarding him with compassion might do the trick. If not...well there's always this! :Kit n Stik; Thinking of you, my friend. :grouphug;
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It hurts.........stress!!! Im with ya, and well, im 'with' ya... Bunch of pain goen on right now... I wish for, i pray for, some comfort and healing for all of us.. :flower;
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Men,(except for Richard mel) they can be a pain in the ar**. Some times they seem to revert back to children. Its like "look at me I will not do as you tell me". Tex how many times have you been there, no wonder you are stressed. Keep giving him hugs, not to tight though, go on then give him a good squeeze .Hope he behaves and keeps taking his pills. Thinking about you.
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TS, do you think he is giving up? I mean, I know he is tired of all this! I hate to hear this TS, you and him have been through so much. In an ideal world, you would think he would realize the stress this has put on you!
Was wondering the other day about you. Hadnt heard from you in awhile.
Just be there for him as you have been. Prayers for you Both!
God Bless,
lmunchkin :kickstart;
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billybags - awww.. that's so sweet, but sadly I can be a PITA just like anyone else!!!
I feel phyical pain when I read this kind of stuff. we all know TS has been there before, and will be there again. It's so upsetting I can't even imagine what is going through both TS' and Mike's minds. An emotional rollercoaster.
As for giving him huggles and showing "compassion" - heck, nothing else seems to have helped.. so why not?! I wouldn't know what to suggest either at this point. Like you(TS) we all know something bad will happen. Maybe not tonight, maybe not tomorrow, but well.. we know. There's really nothing much that can be done - his choices, his refusal to be compliant, take the unit's suggestions of extra runs etc(which he wouldn't need if he was compliant, of course) and so on. Maybe it's being childish, maybe it is as I've pondered before more a matter of control - as in "I have no control over anything else, but I can choose to do this" - of course it's totally misguided, but maybe he has given up to some extent. Maybe it's almost "I can't fight this any more. I don't see any positive future.. might as well enjoy my cokes and be done with it" - and while I personally don't agree, I'm not Mike or in his shoes.
for me, from looking in from the outside with only what TS tells us to go on, I feel most for TS and their daughter, dealing with this stress, worry, emotional torture, etc. Heck when I was on D I didn't want to screw anything up les I not be arond for my kitty!! lol If I had a lovely/loving wife and a daughter I'd like to think I'd fight to stick around to spend quality time with them as much as I could. Again though, I am not in this situation, and it's easy to sit here and pontificate as though I know it all and what's "right" - I sure as hell don't.
It's just a dreadful situation from many angles and is difficult whichever way you look at it. big sigh and big hugs to TS.
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Add me to sending very good thoughts your way. I do think that we women want to mother and make it all better and many men just get into "You're not the boss of me" mode.
I don't have any answers, other than take comfort in the thought you're doing all you can - actually more than that - you're doing what has to be done. Big difference and we know that.
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bevvy5 - LOL!! I heard my sister say "you're not my boss!!" just a few weeks ago (not to me) - so it's not just men!! :)
I , too, think texastyle has gone above and beyond. She shows love trough action not just words. You may think that sounds odd, but I think there is a real number of people who would have quit by now. Said "I'm done" and left for their own sanity. TS sticks it out, through it all, and I can only hope in some part of him, Mike truly understands how special that is - even when he feels nagged or smothered or pesterrd or whatever he might feel.
meanwhile I am still a PITA!
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As I am very new at all this I feel a little presumptuous offering anyone advice . However texastyle , my husband ( Laurie ) has been on BP medication for many years and is also not famous for his compliance . He says nobody knows his body as well as him - it took many attempts at BP medications before the doctors prescribed a combination that controlled his BP and also did not give him nasty side effects . Maybe your husband does not like taking them because of side effects , it might be worth asking the doctor if he could perhaps try a different one or combination .
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Thanks family (hugs). a wee better today. he has taken some pills and got the BP down as far as I know. It just seems like constant drama. Not in a loud way, but in a weird way lol. last night I went to a Karoke bar for a while. St Patrick's Day i am going with my Aunt to an Irish bar for an irish dinner. I'm still doing the "me" stuff. I just pray this passes. I think we all stress alike, but just from different types of situations. I say this weekend we each do something FUN for ourselves. Weather a caregiver, or a dialysis patient. We all deserve to live life to it's fullest. Oh, and laugh too. A lot. Sometimes I crack myself up when no one is around lol. Have the best day you can!