I Hate Dialysis Message Board
Dialysis Discussion => Dialysis: General Discussion => Topic started by: statesidela on September 21, 2011, 10:44:06 PM
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Welcome to the machine
(Machine says) Good day sir! I am your machine for the day I hear you are not feeling well today please don't worry about it because I am here to make you feel like a million dollars! It's a simple process i will explain it to you but first have a seat right by me as this may take some time...(Bren says) yes sir don't mind if I do I have to admit i do feel like poo.
(Machine says) here is the deal...plug yourself into me I will take you on a journey a journey to places you have never been before I promise you the ride will be worth your time as i will give your once wonderful life a little more time...let me ask you a question are you mentally strong? I hope you are because I will test this in ways you can never imagine. (Bren says) test?
(Machine says) yes sorry but it's just the way it goes I will take you on a mental and physical journey hence my question are you strong enough? I will take you to the breaking point and if your lucky I will release you just before you choose to give up
(Bren says) ha sounds like a challenge too me I have met jokers like you before many have told me they will break me but all have failed I don't fancy your chances mr machine but hey if you think you have what it takes then I look forward to disappointing you
(Machine says) hehe oh stop making me laugh son I could crush you anytime I choose to I have saw many like you before and they have broke just as you will...all in good time
(Bren says) gees you sounded really nice in the beginning but now look at you go...you sound like the devil but you cannot win I have god on my side.
(Machine says) who do you think you are little man ENOUGH of this meaningless chatter sit back...oh and enjoy the ride you feeble little soul.
(Bren says) alright but I don't normally associate with your kind it's unfortunate that I require your services
(Machine says) I am going to start sucking your blood and fluid out of your body do you feel that? (Bren says) no I don't but I don't like the idea of this. maybe this is a bad idea? I need my blood (Machine says) haha you sound weak already i warned you before that I will take you a journey and break you what did you think I was joking? Take my advice son do as your told and this will be all over with soon
(Bren says) ok ok you have my attention but please mr machine be kind to me.
(Machine says) there is no kindness about this process i will inflict on you it does not matter if you feel bad or feel weak this is the process there is no where for you to run as I have a grasp of you if you run you will surly die...the best thing you can do young man is sit back and relax
(Bren says) ARRRRGGG! SOMEONE HELP ME PLEEEEASSSE HELP ME.
(Machine says) hahahaha here comes a nurse you feeble little man but don't expect her to help you she works for me if she angers me then you will pay the price now stop your whining.
(Nurse says) hi there young man how may I help you today? (Bren says) can you please help me ma'am mr machine says that he wants to break me can you please have a word with him (Nurse says) hahaha don't be so silly he is in control now there is nothing I can do for you I am sorry (Bren says) this has to be a nightmare or something I don't understand.
(Machine says) no son this is just the beginning of the rest of your life the best thing you can do is submit to my ways as I said before I will release you just before you fold it is best not to resist me as it will only make it harder on you....don't cry young man I am removing enough fluids from you hahaha
(Bren says) you bastard! is that supposed to be some sort of sadistic joke I do not find it funny...I submit to your will but I don't need jokes like that from you...when will this be over mr machine?
(Machine says) ha I told you I would break all you feeble humans are all the same...weak I enjoy juggling your life in my hands...playing with you as if you are the vermon and I am the cat when will someone give me a real challenge...now run along little boy you better run on home I will see you next time around don't forget to come back now as the alternative is not much better than what I can offer you...yes I am mean yes I am sadistic but I am your only option for a chance at life.
(Nurse says) I know mr machine can seam a little harsh but it's for you own good...you make sure you come back now things will get easier as time goes on.
(Bren says) yes ma'am I will be back and you can tell mr machine I will be back stronger than ever i will never submit to his will again I have my humanity I have my dignity but most of all I have heart and god will give me the strength to fight this evil force goodbye.
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(MooseMom says) OK Machine, you're coming home with me, and I'm going to make you work overtime. No more of this lazy-ing about every other day, and no more weekends off. Nope, you're gonna work for me each day, and if you're really lucky, you are going to have the privilege of working nice and slow every other night. I don't have the time to waste watching you do your thing, so I'm going to sleep while you make me better. Get used to it. You're not going to be able to whine to some clinic nurse. You're going to be answering to me.
(Machine says) OK, MooseMom. I am yours to command. Let's go home.
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hehehehe... :rofl; very good @MooseMom
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That was hilarious.
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:rofl; You go Moosemom, you go!!!!
Iwannabean
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(MooseMom says) OK Machine, you're coming home with me, and I'm going to make you work overtime. No more of this lazy-ing about every other day, and no more weekends off. Nope, you're gonna work for me each day, and if you're really lucky, you are going to have the privilege of working nice and slow every other night. I don't have the time to waste watching you do your thing, so I'm going to sleep while you make me better. Get used to it. You're not going to be able to whine to some clinic nurse. You're going to be answering to me.
(Machine says) OK, MooseMom. I am yours to command. Let's go home.
WOO HOO! GOOOOOO MooseMom! Give that machine what for! :Kit n Stik; :Kit n Stik;
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My machines don't speak... they are regeneration alcoves, and I am Borg.. resistance is futile...
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Alright MOOSEMOMMA, You give that machine What For! We certainly are and hope many more people follow pursuit!
lmunch
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We have some amazingly cleaver people here.... I LOVE it!! And HALARIOUS comeback MM.. This was VERY cool.
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:rofl;
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once again good beats evil!!!! :rofl;
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Creepy!
The machine will win in the end.
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The Great Oz has spoken! yall are too funny! :rofl;
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Welcome to the Machine is just a master piece and you go Moosemom that machine's your bitch now........ :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;