I Hate Dialysis Message Board
Dialysis Discussion => Dialysis: General Discussion => Topic started by: DomJDavis1985 on May 12, 2011, 10:03:14 PM
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so maybe i am wrong but it seems like out of all the hoops and hurdles they want you to jump through in order to get a transplant , it seems like they base a huge importance on having a close knit support system...mainly family....i am wondering if someone does not have a close knit family of support will that affect their chances of getting transplanted...reason being is that honestly i do not really have a close relationship with any of my family..my mother passed away when i was 13....my father and i have a strained relationship(long story) my grandparents have passed..the only real family i have is my younger sister (who has a life of her own) and a few aunts and uncles.....however i do have several close friends who are like brothers and sisters to me.....i am closer to them than to any blood family...but this worries me because all i keep hearing is about a support sytem that i need...i do not want my lack of family to keep me from getting transplanted...especially when i am being compliant with everything else.
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When you get a transplant, you will need someone there for you to look after you while you recover. You will have to visit the clinic, probably, 3 times a week for first couple of weeks and less and less after that. But because you are recovering, you won't be able to drive yourself.
You really do need somebody who can attend to your needs for a few weeks to make your recovery go smoothly. It doesn't necessarily have to be a blood relative, just anyone who can fit the bill.
It may seem that they are being very difficult and making you jump through hoops for them, but they just want everything in place because it increases the chances of a successful transplant. It would seem like a waste of a good kidney if they gave it to someone who wouldn't be able to do the follow ups, maintain good lab reports, etc..
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My husband and I are in the same position as you, no family support, only very close friends. Because he did have me he was able to be transplanted in 2005. I can't imagine things would change that much but I'm not positive.
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Whether or not your "support system" is made up of relatives or close friends shouldn't matter. As stated above, I think the transplant team wants to make sure you have enough support to be able to get to appointments and the like during the first couple of months after the transplant. I am 6 weeks out and started going to my appointments by myself (including staple and stent removal appointments.) My sister went with me for the first 4 weeks, but even that wasn't a requirement with the team. She also stayed at my house for the first week post-transplant and drove me everywhere until I was cleared to drive 13 days post-transplant.
I would think if you have a strong network of friends in place who are willing to help, that should be sufficient...
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I'm going through the listing process now. I'm single and live in Oregon, my family is all in Minnesota. The first transplant center I went to insisted I have someone attend every appointment with me and actually sit in the appointment with me. I couldn't handle this; I don't need my friends and acquaintances hearing information that personal. They also wanted one "caregiver" in charge. Besides just feeling insulted that they were calling me incompetent to manage my own care, I won't have a single "caregiver." I imagine I'll have several friends I'll call on, depending on who's available at the time. Most of my friends work. The others travel a lot. I don't have one person who'll be able to and willing to take a month off work or cancel trips to babysit me as it seems that particular center wants.
I'm changing centers and it sounds like the new center will only insist on having someone attend one three-hour "training" session. I'll have to have someone available to get me to post surgery appointments until I can drive, but I'm hoping this will only be for a week or two. I've talked to several friends and acquaintances about the possibilities of transport and offered to pay people I don't know very well for their time.
It can be done! It just requires a bit of thought, planning, and coordination between friends and acquaintances.
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I also had similar requirements to get listed, and I have retired parents who live about 50 miles away from me who refuse to help out. I ended up going to other relatives and friends, who all agreed to drive me to the hospital and help me out with chores, etc. I also can have in-home nursing help via my health insurance, assuming my company will continue paying for our incredible benefits. It sucks, because yes, it's yet another hurdle to jump through, but, at the same time, it makes sense. Organ transplant is a huge deal, and w/o a good support system, things can happen.
KarenInWA