I Hate Dialysis Message Board

Dialysis Discussion => Dialysis: General Discussion => Topic started by: Ladybag on March 25, 2011, 02:50:37 PM

Title: Hurt feeling
Post by: Ladybag on March 25, 2011, 02:50:37 PM
I walked in the back today at work and one of the ladies came up rubbed my belly and asked if I was pregnant. That really hurt my feelings I understand there is a puge in my belly but I can't help it. I know this might be a dumb think to be upset over but I am really sensitive with the way I look. :'(
Title: Re: Hurt feeling
Post by: willowtreewren on March 25, 2011, 02:54:52 PM
 :grouphug;

I hope you put her straight about her mistake.....

 :cuddle;

Aleta
Title: Re: Hurt feeling
Post by: lmunchkin on March 25, 2011, 03:19:42 PM
Hey, Ladybag, she's just jealous! :yahoo; That's her problem right?
Title: Re: Hurt feeling
Post by: Willis on March 25, 2011, 04:15:48 PM
Consider that she was happy for you and likely not trying to hurt your feelings about your appearance. Unless you have reason to think otherwise I'd recommend trying to be gracious with a sense of humor and give her the benefit of the doubt. In the future, it may help if you just realize that this is something that's likely to happen because people are people and sometimes they just make dumb assumptions.

My wife has always been overweight and when she was younger this happened to her a few times and it certainly hurt her feelings. But how could she respond? "Oh, I'm just fat--glad you noticed!"? In your case this could give you a chance to explain your PD and make both of you feel better about the mistake. I'd bet that she was more embarrassed over her erroneous assumption that you are pregnant than you were. My experience is that people who find out what I'm going through with ESRF are usually quite sympathetic.

Now on the other hand, she might just be a jerk in which case you have every right to just tell her to #@$! off!  :Kit n Stik;
 
Title: Re: Hurt feeling
Post by: gothiclovemonkey on March 25, 2011, 05:26:25 PM
oh my, i have had this happen on a number of occations....
the best would probably have to be when I was at the theater, a woman said Oh my how far long are you? I said uh im not pregnant... her response..... "Oh, u must just eat alot huh??" my jaw dropped.... wow

Of course, some of the times, it may have something to do with my family thinking im too fat for normal little girls clothes, so at around the age of 8 they began dressing me in maternity clothing. I always wondered why my night gowns had holes in the breast area.... (i did have a bulging belly, since i had a 25 lb tumor in there)
Title: Re: Hurt feeling
Post by: texasstyle on March 25, 2011, 06:01:40 PM
Next time you see her, rub her butt and ask if she's pregnant. That'll fix her! lol
Title: Re: Hurt feeling
Post by: gothiclovemonkey on March 25, 2011, 06:05:40 PM
ROFL
or... u could just tell her u must be using the same soap she uses on her @ss ...
Title: Re: Hurt feeling
Post by: MooseMom on March 25, 2011, 08:55:37 PM
ROFL
or... u could just tell her u must be using the same soap she uses on her @ss ...

Oh pleeeeeease do this! :rofl;
Title: Re: Hurt feeling
Post by: RichardMEL on March 26, 2011, 05:56:29 AM
I can beat the lot of you!!

A few weeks ago the (female, if it matters) director of my department came up to me, poked at my belly and said "You've got a baby bulge!!" - she's lucky I didn't go all hulk with roid rage at that one!!  :rofl;

Title: Re: Hurt feeling
Post by: gothiclovemonkey on March 26, 2011, 07:36:12 AM
RM, where u wearing heals and lipstick at the time?? hehehe
Title: Re: Hurt feeling
Post by: RichardMEL on March 26, 2011, 08:16:21 AM
RM, where u wearing heals and lipstick at the time?? hehehe

Only in the privacy of my home and.... certain select clubs  :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;
Title: Re: Hurt feeling
Post by: YLGuy on March 26, 2011, 09:35:42 AM
So RM...when are you due?  :rofl;
Title: Re: Hurt feeling
Post by: texasstyle on March 26, 2011, 12:41:06 PM
Oh geez Richard, you sure do "take on for the team" a lot  lol. We love you for that! Yeah, when are you due? hee
Title: Re: Hurt feeling
Post by: Brightsky69 on March 26, 2011, 01:13:02 PM
At work on Friday my boss asked if I was alright....and that i looked pale. A few minutes after that I got a call from my transplant clinic saying my creatinine was looking good and my prograf level was excellent.
I think he is trying to make me look bad.  :P
Title: Re: Hurt feeling
Post by: KICKSTART on March 26, 2011, 01:21:27 PM
RM ..i think i know that club !  8)
Title: Re: Hurt feeling
Post by: willowtreewren on March 26, 2011, 01:59:42 PM
Quote
At work on Friday my boss asked if I was alright....and that i looked pale. A few minutes after that I got a call from my transplant clinic saying my creatinine was looking good and my prograf level was excellent.
I think he is trying to make me look bad.  :P

You could tell him that your busy schedule at work has kept you from making the last few tanning appointments!  :2thumbsup;

But isn't that great news about your creatinine?  :beer1;
Title: Re: Hurt feeling
Post by: Brightsky69 on March 26, 2011, 02:17:23 PM
 ;D   ;D
Title: Re: Hurt feeling
Post by: okarol on March 26, 2011, 02:58:16 PM
At work on Friday my boss asked if I was alright....and that i looked pale. A few minutes after that I got a call from my transplant clinic saying my creatinine was looking good and my prograf level was excellent.
I think he is trying to make me look bad.  :P

"Gee Boss, I felt great until you said that. Thanks."
Congrats on the good clinic report!
Title: Re: Hurt feeling
Post by: Brightsky69 on March 26, 2011, 06:04:55 PM
I had a co-worker tell another co-worker (a friend of mine) that I really should go out on disability. This was after my transplant.
Of course this bitchy co-worker is a "pet" of my boss. They are really starting to show their true colors.
Title: Re: Hurt feeling
Post by: onestronglittlelady on March 27, 2011, 10:33:32 AM
It amazes me how people can be so rude. It makes me thankful for the nice people in my life.
Title: Re: Hurt feeling
Post by: casper2636 on March 27, 2011, 11:46:10 AM
As Blanche DuBois said in the "The Street Car Named Desire"--- "I have always depended on the kindness of strangers"
Title: Re: Hurt feeling
Post by: billmoria on March 27, 2011, 04:39:48 PM
I have been big (read FAT) all my life. I was a school teacher and I had to deal with comments for 31 years. I often said: "I'd rather be fat above my belt than between my ears!"
 :sir ken;
Title: Re: Hurt feeling
Post by: RightSide on March 28, 2011, 04:01:55 PM
Next time you see her, rub her butt and ask if she's pregnant. That'll fix her! lol
Nah.

Next time you see her, act very sympathetic and ask her how long she's been suffering from Alzheimer's, the poor dear.
Title: Re: Hurt feeling
Post by: jojosmommy on April 10, 2011, 05:25:50 PM
I can certainly sympathize!  I have PKD, and the extreme large size of my cysts does actually make me look pregnant... very pregnant.  I could easily wear maternity clothes and would probably be more comfortable, but I refuse.  I have people comment on my "pregnancy"  all the time.  I even had a patient at D ask me when I'm due! Crazy! Then recently, at a funeral I saw a family member that I hadn't seen in a long time.  She came up to me, put both hands on my belly and announced loudly "when did this happen? I didn't know you were pregnant!"  It was a little humiliating for me, but much more for her, when I removed her hands and said I'm not pregnant, it's just my kidneys.  Everyone around us was a little uncomfortable, and began to change the subject!  :lol; Just hit them with the truth, and they will feel bad that they even said anything at all!  Hang in there, and don't let it get you down!

Oh and by the way... I'm considering the date that I can get my cystic kidney's removed to be my "due" date!  When I get a new kidney, I plan on having a "birthday" party just as if it were the birth of a child.  Hey, I've listened to the comments and carried these suckers around long enough, I think I deserve it!  :birthday;
Title: Re: Hurt feeling
Post by: CHeatherS on April 10, 2011, 07:27:05 PM
You know, this has been a subject for some time on the PKD forum.  It's quite common.  I was even telling my dialysis nurse about it, and she said she personally has made that mistake and felt SO BAD about it.   I guess that the main thing is that we have to really come to terms with it ourselves.  Until we go through it, we just don't "get it"..... but we sure can try hard to inform people, as well as tell them how bad it makes us feel...   :puke;   

I thought that one of my best assets was my flat, six pack tummy.  In just a matter of a year or two, that's gone, and especially now that I have just started PD.  I didn't think I was so vain, but I went to Hawaii just before I went on dialysis, and I really was self conscious about my tummy.  At least in Alaska you can cover with all the layers of clothing....    So, basically, I am saying, "I hear you friend".

Heather
Title: Re: Hurt feeling
Post by: AnnaLee on April 10, 2011, 08:30:54 PM
Something similar happened to me before, but I was simply fat and wearing a smock top [back in the day when they were in style].  I had just moved into a new neighborhood and my new neighbor approached me and excitedly asked "When are you due?"  To make,  :(matters worse, I had been dealing with infertility for years and would have given anything to tell her all about my "due date". :(
Title: Re: Hurt feeling
Post by: Cordelia on April 11, 2011, 12:19:59 PM
I have PKD also. I've had rude remarks made to me too-people thinking I'm expecting.

Is this something that will go away, the pregnant look, if I have a nephrectomy??
Title: Re: Hurt feeling
Post by: Quickfeet on May 01, 2011, 06:34:43 PM
I will paraphrase my ex:
MY god, if you get any fatter you're going to die!

I tried to explain that I had only gained about 7 lbs since starting Pd. And that my solution weighed about that much. So I hadn't actually gained any weight.

She smirked and said ya right.
Title: Re: Hurt feeling
Post by: rsudock on May 01, 2011, 11:02:15 PM
when my transplant kidney was failing I started gaining a lot of fluid in my abdomen...a woman at a checkout lane asked me "When are you due?" After I said "I'm not" she didn't even bother to apologize...I wrote a very nasty letter complaining about the woman (I would have been fine if she would've apologized) and I got $350 worth of stuff free!!!

Another thing I would say to someone that was really bitchy and they were commmenting about my "pregnant" stomach....
"Ya know I may have a big stomach but someday that could change, but unfortunately for you, you will always be a inconsiderate *itch!!"

xo,
R