I Hate Dialysis Message Board
Dialysis Discussion => Dialysis: General Discussion => Topic started by: KICKSTART on February 21, 2011, 03:44:17 PM
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They wanted to destroy me, well they have managed it. I dont know whats real with my mothers illnesses anymore its been going on for so long , the hysterics if i mention a doctor , the screaming at me and then the putting down the phone on me. I asked her sisters for help the other night and they turned their backs on me. Well this morning my mother was rushed into hospital, she didnt ring me for help , she rang her friend across the road . I didnt get to know till dinnertime and only then because my brother in OZ got in touch with me to tell me. All day i have tried to find out what is going on and all i was told was tests. Why didnt i go ? For one ive had to see to her dogs and her house and secondly ive been waiting to see if she was staying in then i could take her some things in. But the Rottweilers got there before me. I rang this evening as instructed to get more info, they couldnt tell me anything not even how long she would be in. So i asked if it was possible to speak to her and they said no but i could speak to one of her sisters if i needed to know anything as they where both there. One of them came to the phone and told me they thought she was going to be in a while, so i asked did she need anything bringing in and to tell her the dogs where fine. I was told if she needed anything THEY would sort it, if i needed to know anything not to ring the hospital THEY would inform me of what was going on. Hard to type it as it was said, how about in a tone that said YOU ARE NOT WANTED HERE , it wasnt a you take care of yourself and we will see to her. I could tell by the tone of her voice she was very irate by the fact id even rung and it was only because it was the ward phone i didnt get the full force of it but it was crystal clear i was being WARNED? to stay away. So i will , they have won , they have beaten me down so much today at every turn. They have told me they will be there again tomorrow and i just havent the strength to stand up to them all. I dont even think my mother knows ive been ringing all day. Im lost , im broken , i need someone to fix me. I dont know why they hate me so much. Something in this family is not right , something to do with me, there is such hate for me from these two. Ive no strength to fight back. I feel like an empty shell tonight, do i care ..no. Goodnight my dearest dearest friends , i have no idea when i will be back or if i will come back. Each and everyone of you take special care of the other, you are ALL very very special people and you all hold a special place in my heart. By the way my name is ANNE x
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Anne, as hard as this will be to do, you need to draw a box around this drama. You need to build a wall, create a firm boundary and keep breathing deeply. You have enough going on with your own health and your family members sound like people who need to surround themselves with drama to feel alive or needed or something. Let them have at it and refuse to take it personally. They have won nothing if you can guard your inner self from attempts to destroy your confidence. Talk to the dogs, help them and leave the humans to their own devices.
Don't withdraw from here if you get any strength at all from people here. Take what you need from wherever you find it and leave what you don't find useful wherever it finds you.
I send you a hug tonight and hope you can feel it. :cuddle;
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Kickstart.... Anne....
I am very worried for you right now. Please don't let two deeply pitiable women break your spirit. It sounds like someone (your mother?) has been telling them all sorts of lies about whose fault her illness or her other troubles are. We know it's not true. Stay with us and let us help you through this. Many of us have loads of experience with insane families - give up and they win. We can't have that.
Sending you hugs. :cuddle;
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Anne....
Whatever these people do, think or say.. You are worth a million of them!...
I know the stress that uncaring family can cause, and I've often discussed it with you....
Know that I'm thinking of, and praying for you, and your mum.....
Keep in touch, my friend.....
Love, best wishes, and lots of hugs!....
Darth...
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Anne, unfortunately, by blood, you are related to a bunch of mean and hateful people. So be it. Walk away. Come back and let us know how you are. Everyone here looks forward to your posts and enjoys you so very much. Just take some time to let this hurt heal.
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This is the time i wish for words... I feel so bad for you and your situation with people who are very hurtful to you. You must know that the people who do know you, love you and i would hope you could take comfort in that. Such a sad day for you. Please try to keep contact here as you would break our hearts with worry if you dont. Bless you for all your efforts. Dont let them break you, or break you further. Your much needed here. take heart in that... with love and prayers for comfort,,, jill aka boswife
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:grouphug;
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Just take care of her dogs. They need someone and they will appreciate it.
Do you dirnk? Start! HA Hugs :cuddle;
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take care anne,
you better come back when your able,let us know how things are with mum and more importantly yourself.
make keep in the loop via your brother.
just a thought maybe drop in the hospital when the sisters are'nt there,really early or real late.
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Anne .. you need to take care of you!!!!
Please don't stop coming here ... you need the support and as others have said... many here have crazy relatives too and can understand!!
:cuddle; :cuddle; :cuddle; :cuddle; :cuddle;
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:grouphug;
Hang in there!
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I'm so sorry this is happening. :grouphug; Hang in there as best you can.
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Shameless bitches. Go see your mom if you want. Do what YOU need to do.
I hope she's ok. Take care KS. xxoxoxo :cuddle;
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No, Anne...YOU've won. You are now free to look after yourself, free to allow your mother to be cared for by other members of the family. You've done your bit, you've fought your battle and you have won.
I agree entirely with monrein...You need to disconnect yourself from these people and reconnect with your own needs. It is not a matter of love or of family, rather, it is a matter of self-preservation. Your family sounds crazy; they have some real psychological issues that I can't begin to understand and don't really even want to.
No one can destroy you without your permission. It's awfully unfair that you have to fight these sorts of battles with people who should be caring for you, but families aren't always the protective cocoon we'd like them to be.
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I've never really understood why people care so much about their extended family. They are inflicted on you at birth, you have no choice in the matter so why do their opinions count? By the sounds of things you wouldn't choose to mix with these people if they were potential friends or acquaintances so why not just ignore them as you would if they weren't related to you?
If you show up at the hospital during visiting hours, what can they do about it? It's not like they can physically remove you from the ward and even if your mother doesn't know you've been calling to see how she is, I'm sure she'd appreciate the visit and the news about her dogs.
Don't let them beat you, the only people that benefit from you feeling sad is them which is exactly what they want. It's so hard to stay upbeat with all the other crap you have to deal with but don't give in.
I really hope you find some peace with this, it sounds like a horrible situation to be in.
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Chins up, girl. Tell the evil sisters to get knotted! The rotties sound much more pleasant and intelligent. If you want to make a hospital visit, you do so! If the evil ones want trouble, you give it to them. Retaliate first!!! Bitches!!!!
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Anne,
Please remember that you really are the most wonderful person, I love your posts and enjoy everyone of them. You have been an inspiration to me without you even realising it.
I know we need recocnition from family but a person must realise (as I did) that you cannot force someone to like/love you. It is NOT your fault or something that you did wrong. It is THEM - they don't deserve you. I hope you feel better soon. Please remember that I luv you. :flower;
Remember whem you sent me the most beautiful card ( when I was at my lowest low point) well, I still look at that card when I feel down. ;D
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Family members can hurt you more than most people because they are family. Do not empower the aunts by letting them dictate to you, they do not have the right to do that. My family also ignores me and my illness, seems to go along with this disease. Defiantly go see your mom, ignore your aunts if they are there, they have no authority to do anything. Please stay connected here, for us and for you.
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Anne,
I agree with the other posts here. You can only be broken by your family if you give them the power to do that. I was in a similar situation with my father several years ago. He basically told me that he never wanted to see me or my brother. But we stood our ground and asked for one last audience before writing him off. thank goodness we did.
Since you have had only communication through the aunts, it is up to YOU to go see your mum. Otherwise, you have no idea what lies they are telling her. If for no other reason, simply go and state your case for closure. And then, if necessary, walk away with your head held high.
Thinking of you. I know how much it hurts. I think the worst day of my entire life was when my dad said he never wanted to see me again. (He was under the influence of a black widow).
Hugs. Strength.
Aleta
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Anne, what a lovely name and it fits you very well. Any Anne I have have met was kind and gracious. Thank you for trusting us enough to share your name. :cuddle; I have no contact with my oldest sister. I have tried so many times, but decided a few years back, I couldn't take the emotional abuse any more. I adored her and looked up to her. She did some awful, hurtful things (you can do that to me, NOT to my children). So, after one last outburst from her, I took a huge step back. We were born sisters, but that doesn't mean love and respect is a given thing. We haven't had any communication for years. I miss her; not the drama.
You are a very special lady. Go see your Mum and ignore the sisters. Your Mum will want to see you. We love you. You are such a valuable member and we all look for your posts. You brighten many of our days. I don't know why people don't understand this disease, but we all do and know the horrors you endure. Sending you love, calming thoughts, hugs and many thanks for being a friend we can all count on. We need you.
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Anne, YOU aren't broken, your aunts, and possibly your mom are the broken people. You've only shown strength in all you have to deal with. You're a fighter, and that's a good thing. Maybe these viscious aunts are jealous of your strength. Who knows - they're evil nut-cases! Go see you rmom if you want to. You're already showing that you're able to rise above them by taking care of your mom's dogs even though the word "thanks" seems to be beyond any of them. Take care of yourself. We need you here!
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KS (Anne), you are a bigger person than they are. Like Paris, I also have a sister that I no longer have a relationship with for similar reasons. Family can be a very complicated scene. But, YOUR mental health is much more important than their petty agendas.
Go see your mom and when she is able to talk, tell her what they tried to do. Tell her you love her and will be there for her regardless of their attitudes. You can do this, GF. We are all here for you to lean on and cheering you on. I'm sending you my biggest cyber-hug! :cuddle;
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Here is what i would do.... (i never really advocate violence most times) but i would march my butt down there and confront them face to face. This will take strength so you need to draw from deep inside yourself. ASK them what the problem is and don't take no for an answer.. if you get the cold shoulder then I'd boot em one good.... :Kit n Stik; If you can't do it I'll come there kick some ass for you.. People are just so............... :sir ken;
Never surrender, confront....
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KS if you want to go visit your mom go!! Don't listen to what your aunts have to say - they can't stop you!! :sir ken; to them and use the big :Kit n Stik; Stay here and rant - it'll make you feel better. :flower; :cuddle;
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Kickster you know somedays you fight a good fight and feel good about it, and other days you can't find the strength to even stand...today was a bad day, but continue to fight and hopefully tomorrow will be a better day. A person does grow weary when they have to deal with a**holes in their family all the time but you do have us. I for one ALWAYS look forward to your posts and you have meant something to me...a complete stranger has come into my life and given me hope that yes I can survive on D and go on living...thank you Anne....I will always be grateful to you...
xo,
R
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Awww, KickieAnne, this makes my heart break. You are such an amazing woman; don't let those pesky (vile) relations of yours say otherwise. I truly hope that you're being good to yourself and that you've been to see your mum (if that's what YOU want).
Many *huggles* babe.
♥ ♥ ♥
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Just curious - has anyone heard from KickieAnne since she was last active (Tuesday evening)? I PM'd her this afternoon (obviously far too soon to worry about not having a reply!) but just wanted to know if others know how she is.
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I've been wondering the same thing..
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Im here , im reading, not ready to post yet, just give me a little more time. Thankyou all. KS x
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SOOO glad you are there. I've been worried for you! Hang in there! :cuddle;
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Thinking of you KS, thanks for the note - you probably know by now that I worry about you! Sending you some LOVE :-*
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:waving;
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:waving; :waving; :waving;
Hi Anne...
Good to see you.....
Power to the pawed people.....
Love...
Darth...
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Thank you Anne for letting us know... saves a bit of stress on us.. Hopfully your getting De stressed for yourself.. Sending :cuddle; and :pray;
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Hang in there, KS. :cuddle;
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*huggles* Kickie ♥
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still here thinking of you kickstart!!!
xo,
R
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:waving; G'day to KS from another IHD member whose life you have touched with your wisdom and your humour. So sorry to read that things are tough. Sounds like a lot of us are checking in to see how you are going. Sending you strength to get back up again after your 'family' has knocked you down.
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Been thinking of you Kick!! :waving;
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Hope things are getting better each and every day. Hope you are taking care of yourself! Thinking of you! :flower;
Diane
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:kickstart; Not many members have a smiley named after them!
Hope you're ok KS, and don't forget who loves you. :-*