I Hate Dialysis Message Board
Dialysis Discussion => Dialysis: Spouses and Caregivers => Topic started by: boswife on October 15, 2010, 04:25:44 PM
-
Mabie because hubby is sort of gimping around (he hurt his back) and it makes me feel hes more 'ill' , but you all have been in my mind today.. Bless you all and hope your all healing..
-
Thanks for checking up on us, very thoughtful of you. Hope hubby's back gets better soon you will have to do a bit of massarge on it.
It would of been John's 75th Birthday last Saturday, I bought him a birthday card and hung it over his photograph, I tried to sing Happy Birthday to you as we always sang it on each others birthday, but I could not get to the end without having floods of tears. I went out for a meal with his sister, daughter, son-in-law and three of his grown up grandchildren, very nice evening, but we did not talk about John, but we did toast him.
It's funny some of the little things you miss, it is like the first day of each month, John would often pretend to be asleep, then after 12 0 clock and if he felt me move he would say it first "pinch punch the first day of the month" It was not many times that I beet him to it.
Take care all of my friends Yvonne
-
What beautiful tender memories you have of John, Yvonne. Thank you boswife for inquiring about these folks, I often wonder how they are doing too. Hope they all respond.
-
Thank you for asking, I'm doing OK I guess, right now it is hard to differentiate between what is the expected depression and the effects of a horrible cold. Having COPD doesn't help the breathing issues, so am taking things slow right now.
Still trying to do a little each day, so much to sort out and dispose of, but have nothing but time to accomplish it, so looking forward to our daughter Sherri coming over this morning to help out......
Tom
-
Hey all, thanks for thinking of us. Well yesterday was Franks & mine anniversary. My Dad had been in the ICU for 8 days & nothing more could be done for him & he wanted to come home. So yesterday evening @ 6 pm they brought him home. At 7pm surrounded by his children, Grandchildren & Great Grandchildren he passed. He is back in My Moms arms where he has wanted to be for the past 16 years.
I thought I was doing pretty good. I started back at my old part time job, Thursday I went out on Family leave so I could care for my Dad. I think I will take a few weeks off & if the job is still available for me to go back fine, if not oh well I will find something. Having my Dad in the ICU this past week just flooded me with all those memories I just was not ready to deal with. The hospice nurse who signed my Dad on was the same nurse I had for Frank. The paperwork & all that I need to do now for my Dad is overwhelming as I'm not done with all of Franks stuff yet.
I have found a great board for widows http://www.widownet.org/ that has helped me out as you people helped me with the dialysis road.
-
What a lovely thread, boswife.
*huggles* for everybody.
:grouphug;
-
aww Poppy, my heart just hurts for the 'losses' here and their remaining loving partners. And though i know there have been oh so many more than these, these are the ones since i've been here and they touch the 'reality' part of this in me. And Jean, yep, im sure they are all thought of often by everyone.How could they not be. It just became overwhelming to me to search them out again.....probably selfish actually, i 'needed' consoling that they are healing..
Yvonne, i fear that i'll never listen to music again if hubby leaves before me. He loves it so much, so i know those 'little' things are going to be very hard reminders (as if you need reminders :'( ) I worry for you, and do my prayers that your ok and healing. I couldnt finish even the beginning of your "happy birthday" song and began to cry as well. How much harder for you :-(
Silverhead, Im so sorry for your'cold'and your dang COPD :( .. I lost my mom on 9/10 this year and i too became very il with a coldl. I didnt know how much was depression how much was actual illness. Oddly, It 'sort' of helped me through it being distracted with myself i guess? You have hung with us and given us such support even now, and i have to tell you how much i have appreciated that. Your still helpen with the big 'D' and ya dont even have to.. Thank you Tom :)
And Dianjt, Well, enough is enough i'd say :-( Im sorry for your dad but as for my mom as well, i know she is where she belongs, i just miss her terribly.. Cry every dang day, then happy for her, and then cry someore.. *Loosing* or loss is really something i haveent had to deal with much, and nothing short of dreadfully hard. ANd, you havent even had much chance to recover from dear hubby.. Im so glad you have some of 'his' family to ease some of the pains. And, im glad you have the advantage of leaveing and possible return to work. You need to do what you need to do and keep the stress leval down as much as poss.
WEll, :grouphug; hugs and blessings to all. I wish you all health and healing :-)
jill aka boswife ;)
ps.. hubby and i goen in AGAIN today sunday :o to check on his back.. He's just not healing like we think he should.. :(
-
:grouphug;
-
Yvonne, Tom, Diane...I haven't been on much lately and was so glad to see this thread. I think about all of you daily and pray that you are finding your way. Each of you has been such a help to me and I can never say thank you enough.
-
I have to pass on an experience I recently had regarding Sharon, I am slowly going through her belongings and sorting things out, among them are lots of mementos from the 3 kids childhood, ribbons from sporting events, report cards, pictures and all that type stuff, I have set up box's for each of them and my daughter and I are preparing them to send to each (they are all from 38 to 45 now) thank heavens Sherri has a terrific memory and is a great help in the sorting process. Anyway, there was an old, very dusty shoe box I came across and in it were a bunch of trinkets, mostly unidentifiable "junk", but it did have a baseball signed by Randy's championship Little League team and a small White Bible, I picked it up and rifled through it to make sure no little notes were in it and set it aside and continued sorting and then took a break (I've been taking a lot of them lately), the next day something kept nagging me to look over that little Bible some more, I went over and picked it up and decided that just maybe there might be a name in it to identify whose it was and opened the front cover and found scotch taped to the inside cover was a small gold nugget (about the size of a couple of grains of rice) still nice and shiny.
All the kids were born and raised in Juneau Alaska, and Sharon would take them on outings and picnics along Gold Creek and they would all pan for Gold in the creek and would always return home with tiny amounts of the nuggets, she always added them to a small glass vial that I found in one of her jewel box's, there is about a half ounce in it. But I believe she kept this larger nugget separate because of it's size or some significant reason only known by her. I really believe she was watching over my shoulder and guided me to that book for a reason......
I'm thinking I will divide those nuggets between the kids but will mount the bigger one to the top of her Urn, I think she would like that.
Tom
-
HOw precious Tom. I believe she was too :angel;
-
Tom, what a great find and there is no doubt she was guiding you.
-
Tom what lovely memories you must of found in that box. I too mustered up the courage to go through John's personal belongings. As we were second time rounders in marrage I knew a lot of the things belonged to John's family I put them all in a big box and gave them to Mandie John's daughter. She said that she was not sentimental about things like that but she would give them to his eldest Grandson 22 year old Liam. I have never had a thank you from him so I hope I did the right thing. That was back on 9Th Oct.
I was going through an old jewel box of mine and found a note from John to me saying thank you for all I was doing for him and to remember he will always love me forever. I still cry when I think about it, I always thought he might do something like that and it made all the difference in finding it.
-
So nice to hear from you both, Tom and Yvonne. I think of you often and about how lucky your respective spouses were to have each of you in their lives. Same goes for you Diane and I wish all of you personal peace and future happiness. :grouphug;
-
It's sweet to see the connections are still there, even though the loved ones are not. Thank for sharing your grieving/recovery/life/love with us.
:bow;
-
Hi to everyone just thought I would look in to see how you all are. Here in England we have snow that once again has bought most of the country to a standstill. In the south where I live at the moment we are only 30mm deep and is still snowing this morning, but certain parts of England are really bad. We are not used to this weather so we are never prepared.
I had a form from the Tax office today asking about John's estate to see if he is due any tax back. Can't believe it has taken all this time for them to send it out. I don't understand what they are about so many questions on the form, I wish John was here as he would sort it all out. But after all this time (7 months now) it upsets you all over again.
Yvonne
-
Hi Yvonne. Sorry you have to sort the tax thing out on your own and that it took so long for the govt to send it. I'm hoping though that you will get some tax money back, a little Christmas present...although I know you'd much rather have John.
Enjoy the prettiness of the snow but I hope shovelling isn't in your future. We're still snowless here in Toronto but I'm sure it won't be long now. :cuddle;
-
im sorry Yvonne. I wish all was easier during this part of ones life, but it doesnt seem to be. Are you still somewhat close to family where they could help you out with this? It is good to hear from you and know your at least surviving, and i hope for you healing and strength. Do you enjoy the snow?? I did when we lived whre we had snow, but it was light snow, and infrequent..I couldnt do snow so well now.. Hubby just gets too cold and i too have gotton used to our warmer wheather..... I wish you well, and hope this turns out to be an easy fix.. with love, jill
-
Hi Yvonne...so good to hear from you even though the tax thing isn't going to be much fun. Wish I was there...I'm pretty good at government forms (lol). No snow here to speak of but I AM looking forward to it. I LOVE snow but not many around this part of the country do. A roaring fire, some music and a pot of chili......mmm. Stay safe and warm, my friend. Hugs to you.