I Hate Dialysis Message Board
Dialysis Discussion => Dialysis: News Articles => Topic started by: okarol on October 07, 2010, 09:03:55 AM
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Have an abortion or you'll die: Woman who dreamed of motherhood lives for just 13 months after giving birth
By DAILY MAIL REPORTER
Last updated at 4:37 PM on 7th October 2010
A mother-to-be who went ahead with her pregnancy despite knowing it could kill her has died just 13 months after giving birth.
But Donna vowed to fulfil her lifelong dream of becoming a mother - even though she knew she could pay with her life.
Donna and her partner, Gary Thomas, were elated when she discovered she was pregnant after 13 long years of trying to conceive.
But their dreams were crushed when doctors told them that Donna's kidneys were failing - and advised the couple to abort their baby.
The brave mother-to-be decided to ignore doctor's advice and carry 'her little miracle' to full term.
Donna's heartbroken mum, Sallie, 52, from Newport, South Wales, said: 'Being a mother was the only thing my daughter wanted to do in life.
'She believed she had been blessed with a miracle when she discovered she was pregnant - and would sacrifice anything to protect her unborn baby - even herself.
'There was nothing on this earth that would stop her. She was going to have that baby whether it took her life or not.
'Donna, who worked as an auxiliary nurse, had suffered with medical problems since she was a teenager, and thought she might never be able to have children.
'She was born to be a mum, and when she discovered she was pregnant, there was nothing that would stop her from realising her dream.'
Her pregnancy was not without difficulty - Donna had to come off her usual kidney medication, leaving her in horrendous pain.
After 27 weeks, Donna gave birth to a premature baby Cade - who doctors thought would not survive.
Weighing just 1lb 10oz, and born with leaky heart valves, Cade battled against all the odds to pull through.
He survived a gruelling operation on his heart - and underwent complicated surgery twice more to fix problems with his bowels.
But as she watched her son grow stronger, Donna grew weaker by the day.
Donna remained at her son's side at the University of Wales hospital, as she began having dialysis three times a week.
She had been diagnosed with diabetes aged 12, but the condition has worsened with age - and now her pregnancy had taken its toll on her body.
After three-and-a-half months, baby Cade was strong enough to leave hospital - and Donna decided to change the type of dialysis she was having so she could take her son home.
Despite her joy at finally having the baby she had always dreamed of, Donna's health continued to deteriorate.
Her mum Sallie said: 'Donna was so happy, but I could tell that her health was gradually growing worse.
'Rather than having that new-mum glow, Donna didn't look well at all. But my daughter was a fighter, and she battled on and looked after her son with our help.
'Doctors told her she would need a kidney transplant. Her dad, Russell, 52, and brother Christopher, were both named as possible matches, and were desperate to donate a kidney to save Donna.'
However Donna then developed a problem with her heart which meant she couldn't have a transplant straight away.
She was taken back into hospital in September after doctors warned she needed to be on a different kind of dialysis.
The last time Donna spoke to her family, she told her mother she felt 'right as rain' and was hopeful that she would be home the next day.
But in the early hours of September 22, doctors telephoned Sallie to give her the devastating news that her daughter had died.
Donna had gone into cardiac arrest when nursing staff went on to check on her - and after 40 minutes of trying to resuscitate her, Donna was pronounced dead.
Her partner, Gary, said: 'My time with Donna wasn't long enough. She was an amazing person who was always doing everything for others. She was really one in a million.
'She will never be forgotten.'
Sallie added: 'Nothing ever prepares you for the news that your child is dead. We are all devastated at Donna's death and that Cade will have to grow up without his mum.
'But we are so proud of Donna, and that she fought to keep our beautiful grandson.
'We are so lucky to have him and when he gets bigger, we will tell him all about what an amazing person his mummy was.
'I can see Donna in him and I just hope he grows up to have her temper and beautiful curly hair.
'We know he will be proud of her too.'
Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1318565/Have-abortion-youll-die-Woman-dreamed-motherhood-lives-just-13-months-giving-birth.html?ito=feeds-newsxml#ixzz11gnOhwxH
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this is beautiful and so sad.....
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So, where's the dad in all of this? How is he coping with having a son with probable lifelong medical issues? Did he get any choices?
I've been thinking about this for a while now. Whether you are "pro-life" or "pro-choice", I think we could all agree that abortion is a terrible thing. But I have to wonder about why this couple would get pregnant in the first place. Yes, Donna fulfilled her dream for a short while, but at what cost to other people? I can't help but feel that she ended up inflicting such loss on her partner, her parents and her son, and all to fulfill her "dream". At what point does "fullfilling a dream" become merely an act of selfishness? I can't imagine knowingly having a child who will be plagued by health problems for years and years just so that I could "fulfill a dream" and then not even be around to help my child through the trauma.
When I found out that my kidney disease would result in a dangerous pregnancy with the possibility that the baby would be harmed, there was no way that I would inflict that sort of pain on an innocent child, so I chose not to have any more children even though I wanted to. I hope that Donna's son and family will live healthy and happy lives. That's the most important thing.