I Hate Dialysis Message Board

Off-Topic => Off-Topic: Talk about anything you want. => Topic started by: Mimi on April 19, 2010, 07:13:50 PM

Title: Let's Offend Everbody
Post by: Mimi on April 19, 2010, 07:13:50 PM

Let's Offend Everybody

Q. What's the Cuban National Anthem?
A. Row, Row, Row Your Boat. 


Q.  Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A.  A different bar. 


Q.  What did the Chinese couple name their tan, curly-haired baby?
A.  Sum Ting Wong . 


Q.  What do you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A.    A speech impediment.   


Q. Why do Driver Ed classes in redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays?
A.  Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it. 


Q.  What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A.  The southern zoo has a description of the animal ... along with a recipe. 


Q.  How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the 'S' word?
A.    Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell, 'BINGO!' 


Q.  What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale???
A.  A northern fairytale begins, ...'Once upon a time...' 
      A southern fairytale begins, ... 'Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit.'


Q.  Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?
A.      Because all the Mexicans who can run, jump, or swim are already in  the United States


  OH! shut up ... just pass it on!

Title: Re: Let's Offend Everbody
Post by: galvo on April 19, 2010, 10:29:03 PM

Delightfully, non pc, Mimi!!

Title: Re: Let's Offend Everbody
Post by: murf on April 19, 2010, 11:20:43 PM

True story. The Minister for Immigration (Australia), Arthur Calwell, made this comment in Parliament in 1948: "Two wongs never make a white". Wonder what would happen today if that comment was repeated'?

Title: Re: Let's Offend Everbody
Post by: billybags on April 20, 2010, 04:30:50 AM

You two are encouragable.

Title: Re: Let's Offend Everbody
Post by: paul.karen on April 20, 2010, 04:31:11 AM

LOL

Good Stuff Mimi  :thumbup;

Title: Re: Let's Offend Everbody
Post by: Darthvadar on April 20, 2010, 04:35:14 AM

Hee Hee!!!!!!....

LOVE the Irish one!!!!!!....

Q. Why did the Irishman use two condoms???... A. To be sure, to be sure!.....

Title: Re: Let's Offend Everbody
Post by: Jean on April 20, 2010, 09:32:29 AM

Good thread Mimi. A little laughter in the morning never hurts

Title: Re: Let's Offend Everbody
Post by: thegrammalady on April 20, 2010, 02:52:30 PM

Quote from: billybags on April 20, 2010, 04:30:50 AM

You two are encouragable.

yes they are, and i think we should all encourage them!

Title: Re: Let's Offend Everbody
Post by: Bajanne on June 06, 2010, 09:16:48 AM

Since we are in the non-pc mode: -

Why do the Welsh love the Gospel?  Because they can sing it.
Why do the Irish love the Gospel?  Because they can fight for it.
Why do the Scottish love the Gospel?  Because it is free!

Title: Re: Let's Offend Everbody
Post by: cariad on June 06, 2010, 05:31:04 PM

Quote from: Bajanne on June 06, 2010, 09:16:48 AM

Since we are in the non-pc mode: -

Why do the Welsh love the Gospel?  Because they can sing it.
Why do the Irish love the Gospel?  Because they can fight for it.
Why do the Scottish love the Gospel?  Because it is free!

Very cute. Gwyn will appreciate this one because for once, the Welsh are not the punchline. :beer1;

Title: Re: Let's Offend Everbody
Post by: Darthvadar on June 07, 2010, 03:45:15 AM

Q.... How do you know a Scotsman's house on Christmas Eve???...

A... There's a parking meter on the roof!...