I Hate Dialysis Message Board
Dialysis Discussion => Dialysis: Home Dialysis => Topic started by: lou on November 26, 2009, 09:49:05 AM
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Tonight is my last 'normal' nights sleep for I don't know how long. Started doing pd at home a month ago now but have only been doing it 3 nights a week. Well from tomorrow I will be doing it 7 nights a week.
Can't help but feel a bit down about that and really trapped. Hate the fact I need to plug into a machine every night. Before this I was always so carefree, traveling, driving up to friends at a minutes notice. I know I'm really lucky to even have this machine in the first place but I just feel a bit sorry for myself today. I don't know anyone else (apart from people on here!) who are going through this as well. All my friends are getting married, having children or traveling somewhere and I'm trapped on this machine - well thats how it feels right now.
Sorry for the massively negative post, it kind of helps writing down how you feel sometimes. Will try and cheer up and remember things could be a lot worse.
x x x
EDITED: Moved to PD/home dialysis section- kitkatz,Moderator
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Hi Lou...
NEVER apologise for feeling trapped, or low, and certainly never, ever apologise for telling us about it!... That's what friends are for...
I hope it all works out for you... It's a huge readjustment, and I feel for you as you struggle with it...
Mum feels trapped too... She was disappointed not to be able to use the cycler, and has had to stick to manual exchanges...
On the plus side Lou, as you have good prospects for a transplant, try to look at this as getting enough dialysis to get you into, and keep you in the best possible health for when that happens...
Let us know how it all goes, and keep posting... We don't bite... Well, not hard anyway!...
God bless...
Darth...
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You do feel trapped- I hated it when I first changed to the cycler, for the very reasons you have just stated. It wasn't my choice and the renal nurses couldn't believe I wanted to change back to manual - there's a waiting list here for cyclers. Believe me, that machine can be chucked into the boot of your car as easy as pie. I have a list of stuff that I need, and if we want to shoot off for the weekend I just get my list out and throw everything together in a few minutes. The other thing to do is ask your renal team if you can try manual one day - and then you know if you need to how easy it is. So you can go places (camping or something) where you can't take the machine.
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I sent you a pm but i'll just let you know, as Hanify said once you adjust to PD it can be really easy to have a normalish life. John and i often take off on weekend breaks, pack up the car with my bags and machine and head off. We've been interstate a few times. We often goto the casino for a night (i take manuals with me there) i do 2 manuals before we go and 2 manuals during the night and then 1 manual in the day after i get home. If doing manuals you can even do them in the shower so it cuts your getting ready time down. Hubbs laughs.
I'm going to miss PD now that i have to change to Haemo.
It isn't all rosey, there are times when i feel shitty and trapped and i want to throw the machine but it's just becuase i'm in the dumps. PD is pretty good once you get used to it. Give it some time. Once your on 7 days you'll start feeling better, your energy will increase and you'll be amazed at what you can do whilst doing an exchange.
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Oh Lou, it is tough to feel so trapped. Hubby feels that way often too but he has adjusted to having to hook up to his "baby" at night now. We take it with us quite a bit when we go to visit our kids for a weekend. But watching the lives of other folks who are not in renal failure makes it tough. Hugs to you. :grouphug;