I Hate Dialysis Message Board
Dialysis Discussion => Dialysis: General Discussion => Topic started by: Hanify on August 31, 2009, 10:55:31 PM
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I know he bit people's heads off a few too many times, and I'm sorry for those people who were on the ass end (wee pun) of him overreacting to their criticism, but I miss his humour. Who can I be rude to now???
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Just for the record... It's his choice not to participate here. He was not banned. I am sorry he doesn't choose to stay involved.
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I miss him too. He was just a funny, old fashioned kind of guy. Hope he comes back.
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I hope they all come back.
:flower;
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Just for the record... It's his choice not to participate here. He was not banned. I am sorry he doesn't choose to stay involved.
That's right Okarol - I realised after I'd posted I should have mentioned that. Still.
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He hurt a lot of people by speaking his mind. (even me, that is why I changed my signature)
We are fragile creatures and reading some of his posts taught me to re-read my posts to make sure I don't affend anybody.
Lesson: you must be able to take what you dish out.....
I will try to remember this valuable lesson myself in everyday life.
This post was just what was in my head and it is NOT the beginning of a fight or judging anybody or anything.....
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what do you mean you changed your signature?
I email Dan so we still "talk" several times a day -- I miss him too and I miss Flip Bob -- :waving;
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I miss him too but it is his own choice not to be here. On a forum like this you have to respect everybody's opinion. I figure the world would be pretty boring if we all agreed on things. You can disagree without hurting other people's feelings. The world would be a lot nicer place to live if we could all do that all of the time!!! :flower;
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Live and learn is a good motto when it comes to a public forum like this. Could there be any other place, real or virtual, where you could be interacting with so many people from so many different walks of life?
I can't be here as much as I was in the past, but when I am here I sure do miss seeing the posts of those who helped me through difficult times with their humor, wisdom, concern, or even their irreverence - Flip, Stauff, AnnaBanana, Boxman, Sluff, Cindy, David13, Rose and others.
I GREATLY appreciate my IHD friends. There is so much to be learned here at IHD about kidney disease and about life.
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I miss Dan.
Communication in the electronic forum is always fraught with the possibility of misinterpretation. I think even more so than many other kinds of communication since it seems that it should be fast and easy.
With approaching it as a quick communication mode, we tend to only "hear" our internal voice and not take the time to listen to how our words may be interpreted. What seems perfectly reasonable and even polite to us may come off as unreasonable and even downright rude to others.
Add to the mix that this is an international forum with folks from many very different cultures and the possibility of offending others is even greater.
I wish we could all take a little more time to think about how we sound AND take less offense from posts of others. After all, communication is a two way street with responsibility for clear communication resting on the sender and receiver.
Just my :twocents;
Aleta
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Well it's Dan's choice and maybe he'll come back when he's calmed down from whatever he's upset about now. Seems like we've lost Lucinda forever but again that's her choice. It's sad, but these things happen in life.
Unfortunately you won't be able to get rid of me so easily!!! :rofl; >:D
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Me either!!! I have a tough skin!!!
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I also miss his humor, Hanify, but I did not relish interacting with him, and that's a huge problem on a support group. I think Des nailed it - you cannot dish for your own amusement, then complain when it is turned back on you. Naturally, we all get fed up and ticked off at times, but taking it out on other people here through passive aggression and sly insults toward other members really puts me off. I cannot be the only one who saw his leaving as inevitable.
It would be wonderful to have him back, minus the vitriolic posts and PMs to others. And to clarify, I never felt personally attacked by him.
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I miss his thoughts too. Especially in the "What's for Supper?" But if it his choice to stay away, maybe that is the "healthiest" choice he can make for himself right now.
And I'm with Richard... You all won't get rid of me that easily either, because I don't feel you should let one opinion or one PM of one person get in your way of your communicating with others. I love talking to people here on IHD and hearing about their similar or not so similar experiences. There's a lot to learn and share here by everyone so I'm staying!
As I overheard one of my 2nd graders say the other day trying to console a crying one.. "You can't be so sensitive.. You're in second grade, dude. Who cares what he said?"
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I have to agree with, Cariad. Anyone, who, comes to this Site, is Hurting, either, Physically or Emotionally, or they are dealing with Someone who is. Being Nice to Others, is not a Character Flaw, it's just being, Nice.
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Well I feel silly! I'm here all the time but seem to have missed the fact that he left. I always feel badly when people leave in this way but sometimes they come back and I hope he does.
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I enjoyed chatting with Dan in the chat room and although he's never offended me personally, I feel for the ones here who feel they have been disrespected or attacked. Communicating with strangers on the computer really is difficult because we can't see facial expression, body language, etc.
I hope he pops in every now and then and maybe decide to return. And if anyone left because of him, I hope they come back too!
:beer1;
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I can't be here as much as I was in the past, but when I am here I sure do miss seeing the posts of those who helped me through difficult times with their humor, wisdom, concern, or even their irreverence - Flip, Stauff, AnnaBanana, Boxman, Sluff, Cindy, David13, Rose and others.
I'm still around, just hurting badly from my losses so being a bit quiet, but I still think of you all every day. I'll be back to form soon. :grouphug;
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There's a Root Beer float in the chat room with your name on it Dan!
:beer1;
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what do you mean you changed your signature?
I email Dan so we still "talk" several times a day -- I miss him too and I miss Flip Bob -- :waving;
signature is the "stuff" you write at the bottom of each post
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I have to agree with, Cariad. Anyone, who, comes to this Site, is Hurting, either, Physically or Emotionally, or they are dealing with Someone who is. Being Nice to Others, is not a Character Flaw, it's just being, Nice.
Communicating with strangers on the computer really is difficult because we can't see facial expression, body language, etc.
My thoughts, too. And I would venture a strong suspicion that Dan is among those hurting, too. He posted about his struggle with clinical depression. I thought I could tell by his posts when he was struggling the most.
Aleta
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I can't be here as much as I was in the past, but when I am here I sure do miss seeing the posts of those who helped me through difficult times with their humor, wisdom, concern, or even their irreverence - Flip, Stauff, AnnaBanana, Boxman, Sluff, Cindy, David13, Rose and others.
I'm still around, just hurting badly from my losses so being a bit quiet, but I still think of you all every day. I'll be back to form soon. :grouphug;
:grouphug;
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I think that as members of a support group we have to remember everyone is in a different stage of the disease and treatment. We all are looking for different things when we come here. We as support members need to remember to meet that person where they are and remember we may be in a different place physically. mentally and emotionally.
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Dan and Lucinda both left??!! Why? I disappear for a "depression break" and this happens! Crap, that makes me very sad.
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I thought Lucinda had changed her mind, and was going to stay around. Dan has left because he feels that he is misinterpreted constantly here. He really doesn't mean to put anyone's back up, and is unsure why he does. So he's decided it's better for all if he stays away. He speaks as honestly here as he does in real life, and doesn't have a problem in real life, so there you go. I think in real life at a party or something, you would easily say to someone that they were being silly, or an idiot or something, or if you were talking about politics say, you would say 'oh rubbish - such and such is an idiot' and noone would care. But online, those kind of comments come out differently somehow. Does any of this make sense?
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All of it makes sense to me Hanify.
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The chat room is so quiet, Dan.
:waving;
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I have no problem with things Dan said - he didn't personally upset me but I can see how his sometimes expressed forthright opinions may upset some others. Everyone's different, and everyone deals with difficult situations in their own way. I'm disappointed he's gone (I didn't even read whatever the latest upset was about!!!) but everyone's entitled to do what they want. The thing I worry about more is that if IHD was something that Dan valued as a place he could come and contribute to or find some solice in a group of (mostly) like minded people(or at least people who share the unfortunate experience of Kidney Failure) then if he's decided it's better off for us if he isn't around then it's perhaps NOT better off for him... and that's no good. He mentioned some times having trouble with depression and coping with dialysis and all that stuff. I'd like to think that coming here helped him at least a little bit.. and I'm disappointed that he is cutting himself off from something that could potentially help him.
However that is his decision, just like Lucinda's, and anyone else.
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Living in Southern California I have to think of Rodney King's famous quote:
Can't we all just get along?
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Living in Southern California I have to think of Rodney King's famous quote:
Can't we all just get along?
I like that quote. We can just agree to disagree and still get along!! hanify, I get what you are saying. Trouble with saying things on here is that you don't get the body language or expression. What is said usually can be interpreted any number of ways without that!!!
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What is said usually can be interpreted any number of ways without that!!!
Hey! What did you just say to me???
I don't like what you said ... I'm leaving IHD!
>:D
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lol@Zach >:D
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What?
Are some us regressing back to acting like 3 year olds?
Jokes aside, in those rare occasions in life when ALL of us regress to our 3 year old behavior, it usually indicates VERY difficult times for these people which is probably an indicator of when they need us most. We've all been there. Some of us have whipping boards at home who take the brunt of our frustrations, but those of us who don't come here to let out frustrations. I'm not saying it's fair, I'm just saying sometimes it happens. (You should be thanking my husband! He takes it when I dish it out and then I don't have to do it here).
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You also have to remember that people handle different emotions differently. They may try and joke at painful topics. They are not trying to be rude or make light of the situation it is just how they may deal with that particular issue at that particular time.
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I read something somewhere that said someone needed to invent a sarcasm font. I thought that was pretty funny, yet so true.
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:sarcasm;
We have it already
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Since I'm new here and haven't been on line for a few weeks (went to Cedars-Siani for a transplant evaluation which will be another post) I don't really "know" Dan that well. What I saw, I thought he was very funny but I guess there must be a lot of history that I'm not aware of.
As others have said, sometimes things are often misunderstood with you can't see body language or its just written not clearly. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but not to the point of telling other people they are wrong or stupid.
The day he stated he was through with IHD (although I didn't see a posting from him specifically) may have just been a really bad, depressing day. Maybe he will think it over and come back.
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Remember Okarol our administrator has explained that Dan was only warned, not banned. If Dan feels he does not want to participate on the boards here it is his decision.
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We all had a good visit last night in the chat room ... including many servings of Root Beer floats!
You can't keep a good man down.
8)
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great news!
mmm root beer!!
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Oh man, I missed the root beers! :thumbdown;
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I missed chat last night. I checked in but I must have been too early!!! With the time difference I'm usually in dreamland when chatting starts!!! :beer1;
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Man, now I'm craving root beer!
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Aww. I missed the chat. Did I miss Dan? After all this thread is: I miss Dan.
We had a great evening with one of our "denied" donors here for dinner and all the way through dialysis with us.
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Yes you missed Dan ha ha. Good word play! All is good.
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:2thumbsup; :2thumbsup; :2thumbsup;
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Bummer, I am always in the wrong place at the wrong time.
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Bummer, I am always in the wrong place at the wrong time.
He says "Hi!"
8)
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Bummer, I am always in the wrong place at the wrong time.
He says "Hi!"
8)
So nice of you to be his communicator Zach! 8)
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Dan also says hello to petey!
8)
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...and Petey misses that grumpy old a$$ named Dan... I really do.
Zach, please tell dw I said :waving;
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yeah me too- :flower; :flower;
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And what am I? Chopped liver? :rofl;
I check chat almost every night and it's been empty. Are we just chatting on specific nights?
Tell Dan "hello" for me, as well. :waving;
Could I please get a chat schedule....
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About now is usually pretty good - I think that's 9.40 in California
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I have missed chat all week. The outcast of Poker Flats, thats me. But, will try again.
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you do not have to miss Dan :2thumbsup;
we email each other several times a day :waiting;
he is as funny on email as he was on IHD
I joked with him
IHD = I Hate Dan
just a joke ---- I don't really mean it
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Perhaps we can get him to come back so it would be:
IHD = I hear Dan.
:clap;
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It's clearly "I {heart} Dan!" :yahoo;
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hey, this is fun
I hola Dan
anymore out there :thumbup;
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I harass Dan! >:D
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I (hug) Dan.... :flower;
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i always miss chat, have for years! but dan and i are talking on facebook.
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I hear Dan (on Facebook)
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I really don’t know how to respond to this thread. It was never my intention to cause anything like this. I didn’t return to the site for awhile because I felt it would make others uncomfortable. I didn’t want anyone to give up IHD because of me and especially anyone who had been around longer and needed it more than I. I really have never purposely hurt anyone’s feelings and felt that, since I seem to do that, it would be best for me to be absent.
Having said that, I am feeling good beyond words for many of the comments that you have made here and I even appreciate those two or three comments that were less than complimentary. So many of you I just absolutely love to death. I’m told that you can never know anyone from online, but I feel like I know you. Thank you, thank you, and thank you for the nice things you said. Now, I really want to meet you.
Unfortunately when I write, I express my self in the same way I talk. Usually, I don’t mean to be rude. Subjects referenced here usually fall into three categories for me.
1. There are those that I am passionate about (like people criticizing depression and criticizing people who don’t choose to donate kidneys). Fortunately the people with whom I had those discussions were people I highly respected for other things. Therefore I didn’t feel it awkward to disagree on just one subject.
2. There are categories where I’m not too concerned but would like a debate of some sort for either fun or enlightenment. I don’t feel you can debate issues for which you have already made up your mind. My comments on those issues (politics, God) are rarely sarcastic but more often they are just plain silly. I believe in god, but if I told you what I believe no one, especially atheist or Christians, would want to hear it. I believe that Obama is neither the savior of the world nor is he the antichrist. Actually, I believe he is a really good politician. Form vs. content is always interesting too.
3. Sex, however, is simply FUNNY. If there is a god the creator, then he created sex just so man would not take himself too seriously. I mean its funny in every way. Think about it! I know nothing about it other than that. Is sex different after you start dialysis? Not in my case. It has been exactly the same, especially in quantity and quality, since I passed sixty years of age. There’s a line from the operetta Porgy and Bess that goes “Methusla lived 900 years….but who calls that living when no gal will give in to no man what’s 900 years." That’s funny too.
In conclusion, I meant no disrespect for any of my comments. For those people I have offended, either knowingly or unknowingly, I offer my apology. I will return to this site primarily because of you guys who’ve written such nice things here, but I’ll be very, very careful about posting. You say I’m funny. I don’t tell jokes. I think you like when I comment on the obvious. I won’t be as funny now… well, maybe in the chat room. And Twirl is right about e-mails, etc.
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:-* Oh Dan, :welcomesign; home. We have missed you so much. I have learned to get thick skin and stay away from subjects that I might offend someone. It takes all kinds of people to make this site the great place that it is and you are ONE of them. Keep posting you doll baby. :cuddle;
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Welcome back, Dan.
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I am glad you could see how many missed you. (Do you have David 13 with you? LOL) I may try to stay awake for the chat room tonight! I am like Willieandwinnie, I know some threads are going to upset me, so I try to avoid them. (and maybe certain people - :rofl;) It made my day to see this post :2thumbsup; There is no place like home :thumbup;
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DAN IS BACK AND YES I MEAN TO SHOUT :yahoo; :yahoo; :yahoo; :beer1;
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DAN IS BACK AND YES I MEAN TO SHOUT :yahoo; :yahoo; :yahoo; :beer1;
AND I'M SHOUTING FOR JOY, TOO!!!!!!!
:cheer: :cheer: :cheer: :cheer: :cheer:
:guitar:
ALETA
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So Dan... I was wondering what you thought about the Republican party, the Catholic church and premarital sex?
That was a test, only a test if this had been a real post...
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:waving; Hey Danny Man! So nice to see you back!
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Welcome back Dan!!!! I was wondering who was going to like my sunset pictures when you were gone. Glad you are back Danny boy!!!
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YAY Dan!!! :welcomesign; back.
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Yay! Dan's back! I didn't know you were on Facebook until I read the last few posts. I just sent you a friend request! :bandance;
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Dan it's good to see you, back but does anyone know what's happened to David13? I keep checking in to see if he's OK. Anyone any ideas?
Love to you all
Rose xx
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:yahoo; ...our
grumpy old ass .. I mean, our sweet, funny, loving Danny Boy is back! :yahoo; :yahoo; :yahoo; :yahoo; :yahoo;
I haven't posted much lately because I missed you. We started out to be friends here, then you pissed me off (or I pissed you off -- I never can remember which), and then we became friends again. We were just getting to the point where I think we understood each other (without any pissing off on either side) and you decided to leave IHD. My heart was broken.
I'm so glad you've come home. What time is chat tonight? I'll be popping in there to see if you're really a man of your word or if you're just a lying, good-for-nothing snake in the grass :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;
And, by the way, when I read your statements in your "I'm coming back" post, I realized that you and I think a lot alike. Frankly, my dear Dan, that scares the hell out of me! :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;