I Hate Dialysis Message Board
Dialysis Discussion => Dialysis: Spouses and Caregivers => Topic started by: Sara on October 11, 2006, 10:46:50 PM
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Do you only eat what your spouse eats? Do you cut back on your drinking, at least around them? How does the renal diet and your spouse's attempt to abide by it affect you?
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For us it's difficult because the things Joe can eat a lot of, I really shouldn't, and the things he should not have, I'm supposed to consume a lot of (fresh fruits/vegetables, lots of water, whole grains, etc.) I try not to fix a lot of foods that he stays away from, and I try not to guzzle glass after glass of water in front of him, but sometimes I just can't avoid certain things and it makes me feel bad. He will tease me about it sometimes, but I'm not sure if it actually does make him mad or whatever. What is your experience?
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It takes a lot of self- .. bah what is the word?? Ah yes! Self-control!
I am just glad I am not diabetic to boot or else I would go crazy!! :angel;
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You're right about the self-control. And Joe is diabetic, too, so he really can't eat anything LOL. Luckily his blood sugar has been really good since he started dialysis so him eating more carbs (rice mainly) hasn't been much of an issue yet.
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My wife and son eat what ever they want and they KNOW I have no hard feelings toward them. Maybe it's because I eat so much bad food myself. :-[ >:D
But what really pissed me off was one time when my dad spent a few days living with us, he brought home a 6 pk of Pepsi and drank all six in about an hour right in front of me. I asked him did he even consider my feelings and he just said "Sorry, I am just so thirsty" ::) So I told him then DRINK WATER (Expletive left out) >:D
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My sister carries a 64 OZ jug from Circle K around with her filled ot the brim with whatever she is drinking. It sucks! She says though she will buy me one afer transplant, if I have one.
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Do you only eat what your spouse eats? Do you cut back on your drinking, at least around them? How does the renal diet and your spouse's attempt to abide by it affect you?
The times when I am with Angie, I generally eat whatever she wants to eat because we seem to like very similar foods. Now grant it, I don't always know what is considered acceptable in her diet so I usually have to rely on what she tells me, is ok. I don't cut back on my drinking when I am around Angie because I don't drink that much. Besides, I can usually finish what she can't. ;) I have been trying to learn Angie's diet restrictions and what is acceptable allowances for when she wants a treat. I know how hard it can be, to be restricted from foods and drinks you want and love, but I feel as long as you can keep the not so good for you items to a bare minimum, then you can still enjoy the tastes you love, without to much guilt.
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Depends ...
There are some situation that just upset me .. like when my mom has a family get together (just my brothers and I and their girlfriends and my niece) and then she orders pizza and only has milk to drink.
One time when I couldn't afford to get groceries she had my brother bring over 4L of milk (that is almost a Gallon)!
I have told my mom numerous times about my diet but she never remembers. That is why for Thanksgiving when someone asked if she was making a special meal I said, "ya right!!"
Both my brothers and my dad and Sandman all drink Pepsi ;) lol
Ya .. I have learned that I have no CHOICE but to have strong will power with the people I know ;)
Plus a LOT of my friends love to drink when they get together.
Sandman is really the only one who really tries to help me with my diet and supports me tremendously!
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My friends and family eat what they wish. However, whenever there is a get together, there is always something for me to eat. They are very thoughtful in that regard.
After all, every event revolves around the meal! Since starting this diet, I have realized how much emphasis I put on food. I love to plan , prepare, and most of all eat!!
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There are some situation that just upset me .. like when my mom has a family get together (just my brothers and I and their girlfriends and my niece) and then she orders pizza and only has milk to drink.
One time when I couldn't afford to get groceries she had my brother bring over 4L of milk (that is almost a Gallon)!
I have told my mom numerous times about my diet but she never remembers. That is why for Thanksgiving when someone asked if she was making a special meal I said, "ya right!!"
I honestly can't understand how your mom and brothers can simply forget about your diet when it is SOOO important to your health. Exspecially when you keep on reminding them. :'( I am so sorry to hear that. I don't know what advice to offer you other then to start bringing something you can snack on when the family invites you out.
Both my brothers and my dad and Sandman all drink Pepsi ;) lol
It is true, I do prefer the taste of pepsi over coke and I do drink it even though I really shouldn't because of the artificial coloring, but, unlike Epoman's father, I don't care how thursty I am, I can't drink a 6-pack of pepsi in an hour or less. ::)
Sandman is really the only one who really tries to help me with my diet and supports me tremendously!
Aww :-[ That's because I care tremendously. :cuddle;
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Aww :-[ That's because I care tremendously. :cuddle;
Get a room! ::)
J/K ;)
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Aww :-[ That's because I care tremendously. :cuddle;
Get a room! ::)
J/K ;)
Sara, you be funny.
Sand and Ang, you two are cute :clap;
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Sorry ladies. I didn't mean to take this thread off topic. :-[
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What-evah! ::) We are just kidding, you two lovebirds. :)
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well this is about caretakers and I feel that Sandman is my caretaker. Eventually he will be with me and be taking care of me FOREVER Muahahhahahahahah!
*Sandman runs*
Hey where did he go?
But seriously, is it hard for you caretakers and spouses to take care of us "sickies" :P
I DO worry very much about putting others out :(
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It is definitely an adjustment, but totally worth it. I don't ever resent him for it. Just like Joe would be right there to take care of me, I am there to take care of him. I'm sure it's the same for you and Jeff.
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Me, a caregiver? :-[ I would be honored to take on that roll on a perminate bassis. I'm not running anywhere other then across the Canadian border. ;)
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Me, a caregiver? :-[ I would be honored to take on that roll on a perminate bassis. I'm not running anywhere other then across the Canadian border. ;)
Think of it as a Caregiver with Benefits >:D ;) If you know what I mean. :o
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Me, a caregiver? :-[ I would be honored to take on that roll on a perminate bassis. I'm not running anywhere other then across the Canadian border. ;)
Think of it as a Caregiver with Benefits >:D ;) If you know what I mean. :o
haha (You need an animated LAUGHING icon Epoman!)
I think that is anyone who is in a relationship with, and taking care of, anyone on dialysis :P
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haha (You need an animated LAUGHING icon Epoman!)
Like this one? (http://www.killerz.dns2go.com/econs/f.gif)
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haha (You need an animated LAUGHING icon Epoman!)
Like this one? (http://www.killerz.dns2go.com/econs/f.gif)
Yikes. That's a scary one......lol
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haha (You need an animated LAUGHING icon Epoman!)
Like this one? (http://www.killerz.dns2go.com/econs/f.gif)
Yikes. That's a scary one......lol
Um yeah, not that one. I will have nightmares now, thanks. ;)
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Okay, I have a few more like these....
(http://www.killerz.dns2go.com/econs/a.gif)
(http://www.killerz.dns2go.com/econs/lol.gif)
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Please stick to the topic and use the PM option to discuss other things, Thank You...
(that one is scary though) : :P
Goofynina/Moderator
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I like that second one (the one that's not rolling around). I've seen that used at a lot of other boards and it's nice. :)
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All I know is my hubby and I love each other and we pledged sicker or poorer. So far we have done real good at both! We lean on each other and stagger our way through life.
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Right now I am living with my parents, and probably will be until I get a transplant. My dad is diabetic, i'm not however... but I got used to drinking crystal light, and sugar-free jell-o and stuff. My mom cooks normally pretty much, except when she is making potatoes she will try to soak them for me and ask me if I would rather have a sweet potatoe instead of white... she knows I am having trouble keeping my phosphorus under control so stuff she usually add's cheese in, she either doesn't and puts it on the table for everyone to add after, or she'll take out some for me then add the cheese and cook it in. She tries to work my diet into the main meal for everyone. I have 2 kids also, who need lots of milk and cheese and such cause its good for healthy people, so I keep that in mind when I decide things like sometimes when my mom is making something instead of ruining it for everyone ill just have something else, it all works out. ;D
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Right now I am living with my parents, and probably will be until I get a transplant. My dad is diabetic, i'm not however... but I got used to drinking crystal light, and sugar-free jell-o and stuff. My mom cooks normally pretty much, except when she is making potatoes she will try to soak them for me and ask me if I would rather have a sweet potatoe instead of white... she knows I am having trouble keeping my phosphorus under control so stuff she usually add's cheese in, she either doesn't and puts it on the table for everyone to add after, or she'll take out some for me then add the cheese and cook it in. She tries to work my diet into the main meal for everyone. I have 2 kids also, who need lots of milk and cheese and such cause its good for healthy people, so I keep that in mind when I decide things like sometimes when my mom is making something instead of ruining it for everyone ill just have something else, it all works out. ;D
It must be hard when cheese on something looks soooo good and it is right in front of you but you can't get mad because you know your kids need it. I admire your strength! :thumbup;
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Maybe it is different for some people, but generally if you take a long hard look at what is allowed and what is not and spend a little time planning the grocery list it isn't too awful hard to find things that everyone likes and can eat. There are exceptions of course, and you may have to give up a favorite, but I love my wife more than I love food so that makes it OK.
I think the hardest part of adjusting in our house was because we have a 14 year old son. As soon as I figured out what all the diet restrictions were and what was OK and what is not, I adjusted to what we buy at the grocery store. I just had to sit down with my son and explain to him why we could not have certain foods in the house any more, and the importance of trying not to keep these items around so as not to cause temptation for my wife.
What my son and I do is treat ourselves by going out for a snack, or picking up treats from the grocery store while my wife is in dialysis and making sure it's all gone before I pick her up from the clinic. It actually turned out to be a good thing, because it is giving me "special" time with my son and helps my son and I find time to bond together. Plus it makes those little treats a lot more special when they aren't just laying around all the time.
As far as extended family like Thanksgiving Dinner, or Sunday night get togethers, my family has been really good about making sure that the meal is OK for my wife, or at least that there is enough of what she can eat and enjoys to eat that she doesn't feel "different" at the dinner table.
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I think my husbands diet really affects my habits alot-sometimes I think he is jealous when i eat fresh veggies and salads,and fruit-but I have to lose enough weight to give him a kidney-but it makes me feel very sad,I think there are alot of times i see him watching me drink and that hurts my heart too-I try to not drink but it is very hard-and I do sympathize-and I have no clue what to do about this.
If I eat what he eats -I can't have very much-he has no weight issues,and his cholesterol is 166,so he eats butter by the stick,
cookies etc. and it doesn't make him feel bad to eat in front of me because i could have it-its just cheating....
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Fluid restriction would be the hardest thing for me because I'm pre-dialysis and go through alot of Diet Coke..that will be the hardest thing to give up, and it will be extremely hard to watch others enjoy their drink.
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I know what you mean sluff. Pre-dialysis, Joe drank a LOT of diet Coke also. That stuff is so bad for you though (for everyone in general). Maybe you can try to wean yourself off it now so it's not such a shock?