I Hate Dialysis Message Board
Dialysis Discussion => Dialysis: General Discussion => Topic started by: Phraxis on May 31, 2009, 12:21:35 AM
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I wore out my mother, family and friends. I ran, it was like forever. I was the one that when we went on vacation I did everything . . . twice. And then one day I went to the Doctor's office. Now it was like other times. I have had had a knee fixed, shoulder repaired, stiches, staples, and all forms of other emergency medicine. I always healed. I even checked., one inch long and just as deep. Gone with a nice little scar in just under three weeks.
I have been hit by cars, twice, a truck, once. Fallen off mountains -- a couple or more times. I have lipped off to dangerous men. I have made people angry, really angry. And all of a sudden I am vulnerable. A friend reached for me in passion and pulled. I thought my perma cath would be ripped from me.
I apologize for the tone of weakness, not because it is avoided here but rather it is embraced, assisted and supported. I applaud all that provide that gift. I apologice for the hypocrasy it entails. I have fought my entire life. And now I live quiet, calm, and draw on strength provided by many around me. But I have never known that strength to have a limit. You can kill me but I cannot be defeated. And then I had to trust. Not good at trusting. No one tells you about that one.
My baby siter is going to give me a kidney and they tell me it will return me to my self before. I was immortal then, is that what they mean? and who are they?
I am not stupid. I never was immortal but I was in my time frame, ie the next twenty minutes. That is the lifetime of a trader.
i put my hand on the ground and feel the Earth throb in it's life.I go to Dialysis and I feel us try try. Fighting he reality and then I take the Peace from its truth. We live and then we die. I went once to South America and froze, starved and was thirsty but I climbed the mountain. And then I wondered why?
I feel the same way now. Let us creat art, literature, science and love. Justify our existence and move forward. Collectively, our only purpose is to exist. and life is worth all the effort, Just ask a child if you have doubts.
Cam we post pics? does anyone want to put up sunrise pics?
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And now you've tripped over a kidney and you're picking yourself up and getting on with it. I hope your sister's kidney sets you free again. Yes dude, we love pictures. I'll bet you hae some interesting ones to share.
Alene
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Just wanted to say, I enjoy the way you write! It's very ... poetic and exciting to read it. I'd love to see some pics as well.
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:welcomesign; Phraxis. Post often, anything you like, pics are always good. I look forward to getting to know you better.
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Lovely post. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us. We are all on a journey. Hopefully, your sister's kidney will help you move forward on your journey. Please share more with us, with words and pictures.
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:welcomesign;
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I think you will wake up in post op and never be the same. You will feel life like you have never felt before. Smells will smell good and food will taste good. When you have to get up from a movie to go pee you will rejoice. You will worship your sister for giving you the gift of life. You will climb mountains again but you will be more careful. You will walk away from a fight. You will not ever take life for granted. You will wear the green ribbon on your coat.
:waving;
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Thank you for your kind words. (I will have to investigate the new green ribbon that I will be wearing) ;-)
I am anticipating an awakening but i do believe I will fear rejection of the kidney. I have read some comments of folks that have gone through that process, and have been touched. Teir thoughts have re-inforced my commitment to compliance to maximize the protection of the transplant.