I Hate Dialysis Message Board

Dialysis Discussion => Dialysis: General Discussion => Topic started by: Tinah1968 on March 23, 2009, 06:15:40 PM

Title: Too much happening at once.
Post by: Tinah1968 on March 23, 2009, 06:15:40 PM

It has been a long weekend.  My uncle passed away on Saturday he stopped Dialysis on Tuesday of last week. He said he was tired. I am really struggling with his decision because he said he felt like a burden on his family. He was such a kind and caring man that I just hate that he thought this was the answer.

 :rant; I went to the Dr. on Friday and got my start date for Dialysis. So hearing that then having to see and hear what my uncle thought has me so confused. I don't want to be a burden on my sisters. I don't have my parents they have already passed. All I have is my sisters and brothers. I just don't want to weigh them down due to my illness. Yet Dialysis is my only option so I have to do it. Maybe I am just scared and don't know what to expect. I'm so confused.... :banghead; :banghead;

Title: Re: Too much happening at once.
Post by: okarol on March 23, 2009, 06:18:50 PM

I am sorry about your uncle. Don't think of yourself as a burden please. Given the choice I bet your family would still want your uncle around, but he saw it differently. Being on dialysis does not diminish your value as a human being - people will love you as they always did. Hang in there!

Title: Re: Too much happening at once.
Post by: paris on March 23, 2009, 06:30:46 PM

Tinah, I am so very sorry.  Your uncle had to make the best decision for him.  Now you need to make the best for you.  You are not going to be a burdon. Your siblings love you and need you in their lives.  And WE need you.  There are many here who will show you how to live well on dialysis and keep enjoying life.  This is all so hard, but we are here to help in any way we can.  You are among friends   :grouphug;   Again, I am so sorry about your Uncle.  I hope he has found the peace he needed. 

Title: Re: Too much happening at once.
Post by: G-Ma on March 23, 2009, 06:45:46 PM

 :grouphug;     I am so sorry for you.  I'm sure there are many who do understand what your uncle was feeling and what you are feeling and I don't know if there are right and wrong feelings in this disease process but we each need to do what we can to support each other and move on,

Title: Re: Too much happening at once.
Post by: Romona on March 23, 2009, 06:47:57 PM

 :grouphug;

Title: Re: Too much happening at once.
Post by: kellyt on March 23, 2009, 07:34:52 PM

 :cuddle;   I'm sorry to hear about your Uncle.  I agree with the others.  You can still be an asset in this world even though you're on dialysis!  I'm sure your family will miss you terribly if you were to go.  Come here and rant!   And, yes, WE need you!   Hang in there.

Title: Re: Too much happening at once.
Post by: Wallyz on March 23, 2009, 07:37:30 PM

Tinah-

Ask for help. You need to see a counselor.  Starting dialysis is trauma.  Losing a loved one is trauma.  To do it in a way that you have described is horrific.   We love you, and we want to hear how you live and thrive on dialysis a year from now. 

Blessings.

Title: Re: Too much happening at once.
Post by: Tinah1968 on March 24, 2009, 07:23:58 PM

Thanks for all the thoughts and well wishes. I know that the only way to live is through dialysis it just all happened so fast. I have an appointment tomorrow at the center but my start date is Not until April 14,. I am not ready, but I know that this is my only option. I am just worried, and nervous, i hope that by then i won't be. I just hope that God gives me the strength to get thru this. Thanks again

Title: Re: Too much happening at once.
Post by: kellyt on March 24, 2009, 08:29:32 PM

 :cuddle;

Title: Re: Too much happening at once.
Post by: Tinah1968 on March 25, 2009, 07:06:36 PM

I went to the Dialysis center today. I met a few people that go therr and they were very nice. It did run into a bit of a problem. They said that my Fistula is not straight but that the thrill is strong and loud.. They said that now i will have to have a fistulagram and see where it is positioned. Has anyone ever had that before? Does it hurt? Just wondering about it. I can not sit here and say that i am not scared because i am. But, after seeing the people there and how friendly all the patients were i can do this. Just have to keep talking to you guys to help get me through these hurddles.. Thank God for IHD.

Title: Re: Too much happening at once.
Post by: MandaMe1986 on March 26, 2009, 10:21:49 AM

I am so sorry to hear about your uncle.  I don't feel like there is anything to say that can make you feel better.  Just know we are all here for you.  And here is a really big hug  :cuddle; :cuddle; :cuddle; :cuddle; :cuddle; :cuddle; :cuddle; :cuddle;

Title: Re: Too much happening at once.
Post by: paddbear0000 on March 26, 2009, 12:28:40 PM

I'm sorry about your uncle. But like others have said, he made the best decision for himself. And please don't be afraid of dialysis. We are all here for you.  :grouphug; :grouphug; :grouphug;

Title: Re: Too much happening at once.
Post by: twirl on March 26, 2009, 12:37:36 PM

you will not be a burden
start your dialysis and live your life
it is not an easy life as I know but it is life
you are young and have lots of life left
think of something positive about your life everyday
come to us for comfort and understanding
love,twirl/cheryl