I Hate Dialysis Message Board

Dialysis Discussion => Dialysis: Spouses and Caregivers => Topic started by: Auntie V on March 08, 2009, 02:46:41 PM

Title: Mom is now in the active dying stage
Post by: Auntie V on March 08, 2009, 02:46:41 PM
The hospice nurse has confirmed that Mom is now in the active stage of dying. As of yesterday at 2PM she thought that she had less than 48 hours. We are keeping her comfortable with morphine and atavan at this point. My brother and SIL will be staying a couple extra days to be here and support me. I will keep you posted.
Title: Re: Mom is now in the active dying stage
Post by: G-Ma on March 08, 2009, 02:51:35 PM
 :grouphug;  I am praying for all of you.
Title: Re: Mom is now in the active dying stage
Post by: 2_DallasCowboys on March 08, 2009, 03:04:01 PM
Sending prayers your way, for you and
all of your family


Anne
Title: Re: Mom is now in the active dying stage
Post by: Chris on March 08, 2009, 03:10:55 PM
Not sure what to say other than that I hope she goes peacefully and without pain.
Title: Re: Mom is now in the active dying stage
Post by: paris on March 08, 2009, 03:52:39 PM
May God wrap His loving arms around your family and may His angels gather around your Mother and give her peace.   You will all be in my prayers. 
Title: Re: Mom is now in the active dying stage
Post by: jbeany on March 08, 2009, 06:04:14 PM
 :grouphug;
Title: Re: Mom is now in the active dying stage
Post by: Sluff on March 08, 2009, 06:05:56 PM
 :grouphug; my Prayers for a peaceful journey.
Title: Re: Mom is now in the active dying stage
Post by: petey on March 08, 2009, 06:51:36 PM
Praying for you all.  Be strong.  Hold her hand.  I read somewhere that the sense of hearing is the last thing to leave us.  Talk to her, sing to her, pray aloud for her (if you believe in prayer), tell her how much she has meant to you, how much she has done for you, and how much you'll miss her.

My heart is really, really heavy for you at this time.  Know that there are many people thinking of you, your mom, and your family at this time.  We're here if you need to talk.
Title: Re: Mom is now in the active dying stage
Post by: glitter on March 08, 2009, 07:48:00 PM
I am so sorry for your family...I will be thinking of your family. Its hard-no matter what else it is.  :'(
Title: Re: Mom is now in the active dying stage
Post by: okarol on March 08, 2009, 09:41:40 PM

God bless your mom and your family.  :grouphug;
Title: Re: Mom is now in the active dying stage
Post by: kitkatz on March 08, 2009, 09:42:19 PM
May God take her into his hands.   :grouphug;
Title: Re: Mom is now in the active dying stage
Post by: rose1999 on March 09, 2009, 12:07:01 AM
I hope you can be with her to the end and that it will be peaceful - you have been a wonderful daughter, no mother could ask for more.  :grouphug;
Title: Re: Mom is now in the active dying stage
Post by: drinkboy on March 09, 2009, 05:41:10 AM
My thoughts are with you and your family.
Title: Re: Mom is now in the active dying stage
Post by: paul.karen on March 09, 2009, 06:11:35 AM
prayers-Thoughts & good wishes to all involved.  :cuddle; :grouphug; :cuddle;
Title: Re: Mom is now in the active dying stage
Post by: willieandwinnie on March 09, 2009, 07:11:04 AM
 :grouphug;  :grouphug;  :grouphug;
Title: Re: Mom is now in the active dying stage
Post by: The Wife on March 09, 2009, 07:38:55 AM
 Sending love...
:grouphug; :grouphug; :grouphug;
Title: Re: Mom is now in the active dying stage
Post by: pelagia on March 09, 2009, 10:30:33 AM
 :grouphug; will keep your family in my thoughts
Title: Re: Mom is now in the active dying stage
Post by: cherpep on March 09, 2009, 10:59:28 AM
Keep talking to her.  Read to her.  Just let her know you are there.   God be with you all.
Title: Re: Mom is now in the active dying stage
Post by: Tinah1968 on March 09, 2009, 11:03:05 AM
 :grouphug; :grouphug; :grouphug; So sorry to hear that.
Title: Re: Mom is now in the active dying stage
Post by: monrein on March 09, 2009, 01:25:22 PM
May your Mom pass with no pain, no regrets and the utmost serenity.   :cuddle; :grouphug; :cuddle;
Title: Re: Mom is now in the active dying stage
Post by: Auntie V on March 09, 2009, 05:04:17 PM
Just a little update 6PM Monday

Mom still is hanging on. I do not know how. It seems like she has taken her last breath several times today but always starts breathing again. This long goodbye is really hard but at least I have my brother from Wyoming here. She seems to be resting well so we are just here loving on her and being with her.
Title: Re: Mom is now in the active dying stage
Post by: Romona on March 09, 2009, 05:06:08 PM
 :grouphug; God bless you and your Mom.
Title: Re: Mom is now in the active dying stage
Post by: del on March 09, 2009, 05:23:51 PM
 :grouphug;  :cuddle;
Title: Re: Mom is now in the active dying stage
Post by: okarol on March 09, 2009, 06:20:54 PM


We stayed all night with Goofynina - thinking each breath would be her last - I think I even counted between breaths - she was peaceful at the end - that's the best you can hope for.
I know it's hard Auntie V - you've done all you can - she's lucky to have had such a loving daughter.
Title: Re: Mom is now in the active dying stage
Post by: Rerun on March 09, 2009, 06:35:25 PM
Tell her it is okay to go home.  Maybe she needs to hear that.  I hope she is comfortable and in peace soon.

Title: Re: Mom is now in the active dying stage
Post by: Sluff on March 09, 2009, 07:07:04 PM
Just a little update 6PM Monday

Mom still is hanging on. I do not know how. It seems like she has taken her last breath several times today but always starts breathing again. This long goodbye is really hard but at least I have my brother from Wyoming here. She seems to be resting well so we are just here loving on her and being with her.

You are doing all the right things. Just being there has to be a big comfort for your mom. I remember when my mom passed on I thought she had died at one point. I had agreed to remove her oxygen as quick as possible because she didn't want the indentations on her face. So I thought she had taken her last breath and I removed the oxygen and all of a sudden she breathed in and out, I was so embarrassed, but you know she would have laughed about it in life, but I felt so bad. It's the hardest thing to do just waiting so my prayers are with you and your family in these last hours.  :grouphug;  :grouphug;  Thank you for checking in with us through this difficult time.
Title: Re: Mom is now in the active dying stage
Post by: Auntie V on March 10, 2009, 12:21:59 PM
Mom joined Dad this morning at 2:50. It was very peaceful and she was with the ones that loved her. I know that she is in a better place and there will be nor more pain. Thank you all for your support and prayers. Having your support has helped me through this very difficult time. Now I am just going to give myself a couple days to rest up. I will keep in touch with my new friends here though.
Title: Re: Mom is now in the active dying stage
Post by: Darthvadar on March 10, 2009, 12:35:06 PM
Hi Vicky...

I'm new to IHD...

I've been following your story about your mum... I am caring for my mum who's in ESRF too, so your journey has had a certain resonance for me... My turn to travel that road has yet to come...

May your dear mum rest in peace... As we say in Ireland, May God be good to her...

Please know that my thoughts are with you, and my prayers are for you and your family...

In your time of sorrow...

May God bless and protect you...
May you see God's light on the path ahead
When the road you walk is dark.
May you always hear,
Even in your hour of sorrow,
The gentle singing of the lark.
When times are hard may hardness
Never turn your heart to stone,
May you always remember
when the shadows fall—
You do not walk alone.


Love and hugs...

Carolyn/Darthvadar...

Title: Re: Mom is now in the active dying stage
Post by: paul.karen on March 10, 2009, 12:36:08 PM
Godbless you Aunti V.

Your mom is now an Angel back with her husband.  A sad yet happy day.
Thank you for being so strong and agreeeing with your mothers wishes.  It must have been very hard for you as i know it would have been for me.

BIG  :grouphug; to you and yours.
P&K

Please dont be a stranger
Title: Re: Mom is now in the active dying stage
Post by: okarol on March 10, 2009, 12:53:44 PM
 :grouphug; Godspeed mother.
Title: Re: Mom is now in the active dying stage
Post by: Sunny on March 10, 2009, 01:06:16 PM
Your mother is safe now with no pain. God bless her and your loving family.
Title: Re: Mom is now in the active dying stage
Post by: willieandwinnie on March 10, 2009, 01:13:42 PM
 :grouphug; Auntie V. You are in my thoughts and prayers.  :cuddle;
Title: Re: Mom is now in the active dying stage
Post by: glitter on March 10, 2009, 01:55:22 PM
Your in my thoughts- I am sorry for your loss- I hope you have found some sense of peace.  :'(  :grouphug;
Title: Re: Mom is now in the active dying stage
Post by: Rerun on March 10, 2009, 03:16:15 PM
She is on the otherside and we will meet again.

         God Bless~                                     :grouphug;
Title: Re: Mom is now in the active dying stage
Post by: monrein on March 10, 2009, 03:20:07 PM
I hope that YOU have found a sense of peace also Auntie V.  I found it very inspirational, the way in which you respected your Mom's wishes and helped her through this last phase in her life here on earth.   :grouphug; :cuddle;
Title: Re: Mom is now in the active dying stage
Post by: G-Ma on March 10, 2009, 03:34:48 PM
God Bless you Mom and all your family for being there for Mom.    :grouphug;
Title: Re: Mom is now in the active dying stage
Post by: pelagia on March 10, 2009, 05:09:20 PM
This is a lesson in love and dignity.  May your mother rest in peace.  :grouphug;
Title: Re: Mom is now in the active dying stage
Post by: Sluff on March 10, 2009, 05:15:33 PM
Rest peacefully your work here on earth is finished. Go now and reap your rewards for being a faithful servant.
Title: Re: Mom is now in the active dying stage
Post by: del on March 10, 2009, 05:20:58 PM
 :grouphug;
Title: Re: Mom is now in the active dying stage
Post by: kitkatz on March 10, 2009, 06:01:39 PM
Just knowing you were with her in those last days here will be special to you for all time.  God bless you and your family.  :grouphug;
Title: Re: Mom is now in the active dying stage
Post by: kellyt on March 10, 2009, 06:20:12 PM
 :grouphug;  I'm without words.  It's so hard losing a Mother.  God Bless.
Title: Re: Mom is now in the active dying stage
Post by: aharris2 on March 10, 2009, 06:52:01 PM
Vicky, I watched my own mother die while under hospice care. It's not an easything to do. Our thoughts and prayers are with you.

Alene and Rolando
Title: Re: Mom is now in the active dying stage
Post by: petey on March 10, 2009, 07:32:39 PM
Thinking of you and all of your family in this most difficult time...
Title: Re: Mom is now in the active dying stage
Post by: rose1999 on March 11, 2009, 12:06:46 AM
Sending love and prayers your way. You have been the best daughter right until the end.  Now take care of yourself and come here often  :grouphug; May your Mum rest in peace with your Dad now.
Title: Re: Mom is now in the active dying stage
Post by: Bajanne on March 11, 2009, 01:31:03 AM
I am so thankful for the time you have had with her since she made her decision.  This is indeed leaving with grace, dignity, and surrounded by love.  Please know that we are with you in spirit as you deal with your loss.
We are expecting you back at IHD.  You have lots to offer those going through a similar experience.
 :grouphug;
Title: Re: Mom is now in the active dying stage
Post by: lola on March 11, 2009, 08:15:12 AM
 :grouphug; :grouphug; :grouphug;
Title: Re: Mom is now in the active dying stage
Post by: Yvonne on March 12, 2009, 12:18:23 AM
 :grouphug; :grouphug; I am so sorry for your loss, Yvonne
Title: Re: Mom is now in the active dying stage
Post by: ODAT on March 12, 2009, 01:11:57 PM
 :grouphug;
Title: Re: Mom is now in the active dying stage
Post by: The Wife on March 13, 2009, 11:05:09 AM
Sending love...
Title: Re: Mom is now in the active dying stage
Post by: paris on March 13, 2009, 12:37:49 PM
You were such a blessing to your Mother.  Thank you for sharing this part of her life with us.    :grouphug;
Title: Re: Mom is now in the active dying stage
Post by: mcmkids on March 14, 2009, 04:08:21 AM
 :grouphug; I am keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers today!
Title: Re: Mom is now in the active dying stage
Post by: Joe Paul on March 14, 2009, 05:49:06 AM
 My condolences to you and your family  :grouphug;
Title: Re: Mom is now in the active dying stage
Post by: thegrammalady on March 14, 2009, 09:43:34 AM
 :grouphug; :grouphug; i never have the right words  :grouphug; :grouphug;
Title: Re: Mom is now in the active dying stage
Post by: glitter on March 14, 2009, 12:38:40 PM
I hope your doing okay- having recently lost my husband, I do understand the grief. Its so tough. Hang in there.  :grouphug; :grouphug; :cuddle;
Title: Re: Mom is now in the active dying stage
Post by: cherpep on March 17, 2009, 12:54:08 PM
Sorry for your loss. 
Title: Re: Mom is now in the active dying stage
Post by: Auntie V on March 22, 2009, 04:01:35 AM
 :thx; I am just checking in to thank everyone for their prayers and well wishes and to let you all know that I am doing OK. :thx;

 I have some good days and some bad days but I feel that is to be expected. After being a 24/7 caregiver for so long I am finding it very hard to switch gears and move into a "ME" mode though.

I will have plenty to do for awhile as I am going to be cleaning out the house and getting it ready to sell.





EDITED:Fixed smiley error - Sluff/Admin
Title: Re: Mom is now in the active dying stage
Post by: Darthvadar on March 22, 2009, 05:44:43 AM
Hi V....

I'm thinking of, and praying for you....

Try to take a few days 'Me' time... I'm caring for my mum, and I know how demanding it is...

May God bless and protect you...

Love...

Darth...
Title: Re: Mom is now in the active dying stage
Post by: paris on March 22, 2009, 09:37:08 AM
Thank you for checking back with us. This time in life will be so difficult.  I had the worst struggle when we had to clean out our Mom's house.  So many memories and such finality.  Take care of yourself. And remember we are all thinking of you as you transition from caregiver to just being you.   Lots of love   :grouphug;