I Hate Dialysis Message Board

Off-Topic => Off-Topic: Talk about anything you want. => Topic started by: okarol on January 28, 2009, 10:00:31 AM

Title: Stimulus Payment Info
Post by: okarol on January 28, 2009, 10:00:31 AM
Stimulus Payment Info


"This year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a
very exciting new program that I will explain using the Q and A format:

Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

Q. Where will the government get this money?
A. From taxpayers.

Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
A. Only a smidgen.

Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition
TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?
A. Shut up.


Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by
spending your stimulus check wisely:

If you spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China.
If you spend it on gasoline it will go to the Arabs.
If you purchase a computer it will go to India.
If you purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico , Honduras , and
Guatemala (unless you buy organic).
If you buy a car it will go to Japan.
If you purchase useless crap it will go to Taiwan.

And none of it will help the American economy.

We need to keep that money here in America. Men, you can keep the money in
America by spending it at yard sales, going to a ball game, or spend
it on prostitutes, beer and wine (domestic ONLY), or tattoos, since those
are the only businesses still in the US.  Women, you can help out by going
to spas and beauty salons.

 :bandance;
Title: Re: Stimulus Payment Info
Post by: willieandwinnie on January 28, 2009, 10:06:42 AM
 :rofl;  :rofl;  :rofl;
Title: Re: Stimulus Payment Info
Post by: 2_DallasCowboys on January 28, 2009, 10:17:13 AM
That was a good one, Carol  :2thumbsup; :rofl; :clap; :2thumbsup;

Anne
Title: Re: Stimulus Payment Info
Post by: paul.karen on January 28, 2009, 10:40:34 AM
 :clap; :rofl;

Oh wait its kinda true :-(     :banghead;

Title: Re: Stimulus Payment Info
Post by: Chris on January 28, 2009, 03:30:43 PM
Duoh!

And they plan on giving another one of these "stimulus" checks next year. And who are the people who would get a large enough check to buy a hi def tv that would replace the same size screen you already have? Chinese haven't made one yet cheap enough for the masses to buy. Converter box coupon/money is backed up, switch over to hi def pushed back for the  fourth time to June 2009 since it was suppose to happen in 2005.

Reality stranger than fiction?
This one fits things that make you go Hmmm.
Title: Re: Stimulus Payment Info
Post by: Romona on January 28, 2009, 03:38:53 PM
 :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;
Title: Re: Stimulus Payment Info
Post by: jbeany on January 28, 2009, 04:01:12 PM
Nope, they changed their minds - the switch date is still Feb 17.  I still haven't gotten my darn coupon.

A couple of UAW guys are selling bumper stickers that say "Lost your job yet?  Keep buying foreign."

Cute stuff, though, karol!
Title: Re: Stimulus Payment Info
Post by: kitkatz on January 28, 2009, 05:56:24 PM
Our state income tax checks may be in the form of IOUs. Deeply sucks.
Title: Re: Stimulus Payment Info
Post by: G-Ma on January 28, 2009, 06:40:39 PM
 :rofl;