I Hate Dialysis Message Board
Off-Topic => Off-Topic: Talk about anything you want. => Topic started by: paul.karen on December 19, 2008, 05:59:38 AM
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Dear God: Is it on purpose our names are the same, only reversed?
>
> Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell
> one another?
>
> Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it
> still the same old story?
>
>
> Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the
> mustang, the c
> olt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for
> a Dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice
> ride! Would it be so hard to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler
> Beagle'?
>
>
> Dear God: If a Dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears
> him, is he still a bad Dog?
>
>
>
> Dear God: We Dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand
> signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's,
> electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do
> humans understand?
>
> Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
>
>
> Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to
> apologize?
>
>
> Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must
> remember to be a good Dog.
>
> 1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw
> it up.
>
> 2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc.., just because
> I like the way they smell.
>
> 3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.
>
> 4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.
>
> 5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
>
> 6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the
> toilet.
>
> 7. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of
> saying 'hello'.
>
> 8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee
> table .
>
> 9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house -
> not after.
>
> 10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.
>
> 11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.
>
> 12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he
> makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.
>
> P.S. Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?
>
> Until one has loved an animal, part of their soul remains unawakened'
>
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:thx; You made me laugh!
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That is the funniest thing I ever heard... :rofl;
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:cheer:
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:rofl;
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6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
:rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;
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So funny! :clap;
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3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.
:rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;
Funny stuff.. I will have to pass this one on ;D