I Hate Dialysis Message Board
Dialysis Discussion => Dialysis: General Discussion => Topic started by: Danally on December 12, 2008, 05:13:15 PM
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My dad passed away at the beginning of the week. His heart became to weak from all of the fluid over load. The dialysis center he went to told us that he was not complaint. I begged him to follow the dialysis diet and to limit his fluids. He told me I am doing fine. I knew he was not doing fine. I am so angry that he did not listen to his doctors. I guess he lived the way he wanted to live. The doctors said if he followed the diet and limited his fluids he could live a good life. I tried talking to him and yelling at him but nothing worked. My mom is now blaming herself. I wanted to wish all of you good luck and please follow the doctors directions, so you can live a long life.
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So sorry for your loss Danally. :grouphug;
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Sending hugs Danally. :grouphug; :grouphug; I know how hard it is loosing your Dad. xoxox
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i am sorry for your loss :grouphug; anger is a natural reaction, and one we all here understand. hopefully your mother won't continue to blame herself, she had no control over how your father reacted to his kidney disease. :grouphug; :grouphug;
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sorry for your loss
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Hugs :grouphug; :grouphug; and prayers for you and your family.
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So sorry to hear of your loss. :grouphug;
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So sorry for your loss. :grouphug;
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I am sorry about your Dad. Please tell your Mom not to blame herself. It is not her fault. Sending love and sympathy to you and your family :grouphug;
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I'm sorry for your loss. I'm just curious, what did he gain between runs. Over 3 kilos?
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I'm very sorry for your loss. :cuddle;
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:grouphug;
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Sorry for your loss. I too know what its like to lose your dad to dialysis. Take care of yourself.
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I am so so so so very sorry....I feel the pain you feel as too I know because my dad is very very sick. The difference is that he is following direction only to just get worse and worse everyday. Im sorry you lost your dad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I think you can follow all the direction you want but we have no control over what the next day brings sometimes its beyond our control. Its a normal reaction to have guilt my mom has guilt too and its not there fault they can only do what our dads will let happen..
We have a double edge sword, my dad had a liver transplant 12 years ago and now the meds from that has given him kidney failure now and if thats not enough the Hepatitis C that caused the liver transplant is active and damaging the liver. Its such a hard thing to go through when it is your dad I think often right now what I will do if I lose him because we sure can and I would be devastated it would literrally kill me.
Take each day as it comes that is the only thing we can do nothing is going to make you feel better but time and only time brings less tears everyday, because when you loose someone you love it is the biggest hurt that someone can go through and there is nothing anyone can say or do to take it away. My prayers are with you and your family and may god be with you at a time when you need him the most....
:grouphug; :grouphug; :grouphug; :grouphug; :grouphug; :grouphug;
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My condolences to you and your family :grouphug;
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You have my sympathy. I lost my Dad 43 years ago and I still miss him. You and your family will be in my prayers.
Love, Mimi
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I am so sorry for your loss. Try not to blame anyone, your Dad lived his life as he wished and no one was to blame for that, sometimes choice is all we have left. Like Roxanne, my Dad too lives 'by the rules' but he is slowly getting worse, maybe it is better to live the (shorter) life you enjoy than this. But I know that won't make the pain you feel go away, you and your Mum will be in my thoughts. :grouphug;
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:grouphug;
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I am so sorry to hear that, Danally. My prayers are with you and your family. Take care of yourself and hug your mother.
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My deepest condolences on the loss of your Father. :(
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:grouphug;
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:grouphug;
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:grouphug; I'm so sorry. :cuddle;
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Oh dear :cuddle;
My sincere condolences to you and your family :grouphug;
Your Dad lived his life as he wanted and your Mum and you shouldn't blame yourselves.
It is hard loving and caring for a loved one who makes decisions that you may not agree with - but we need to respect their decisions
Just remember all the great times and memories
Lots of love at this very sad time
Take care mate
:flower; :flower; :flower;
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Danally,
when someone you love died, it is also like dying a little. It is hard.
Godspeed for your Dad, and prayers for your Mom and family on this very difficult time. :grouphug; :grouphug; :grouphug;
love,
cris
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:grouphug;
I am so sorry for your loss
Yvonne
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I am so very sorry for your loss. I know what pain you are experiencing as my father passed away 5 years ago the 26th of December.
Lots of love being sent your way!!! :grouphug;
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I am sorry to hear of your dads loss. As a previous caregiver there are some things that you can't control. My sympathy to you cant your family. Hug them for me.
Lori/Indiana
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phew I think this brings it home for us all just how serious the fluid overload can be and they don't put us on restrictions for the fun of it!
It can be very tough to keep to those restrictions but I know I am doing my body and future life by enduring "pain" (as in not living the way I'd like) for the future "gain"
I am so sorry your father was not compliant and passed away. I guess though it is our own choice how we wish to live. I know another patient who seemingly does not follow the renal/dialysis diet and drinks a fair amount and every time I see him I think he's destined for a unhappy end.. but that's the way he wants to live (in some sort of denial it seems) and well he's got nobody to blame but himself. In the same vein your mother should not blame herself. While she could oversee what he was doing she really couldn't stop him, and he would have been informed of the likely consequences and seriousness of what he was doing time and time again by the staff, docs and you(family)... Maybe he got sick of being told and just wanted to enjoy *something* - who knows? I don't think your mother should shoulder the blame though. As adults we make life choices and decisions every day. He made choices in the way he lived.. your mother is not responsible for that.
I am sorry you all are going through this...
:grouphug;
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Losing a parent is always difficult no matter what the situation is. The diet (especially the fluid restrictions) is what scared me most about dialysis. I may have ended up in the same boat as your father. God bless him on his new journey. :cuddle;
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I'm really sorry about your father passing away. I hope your Mom learns that it wasn't her fault in any way and she shouldn't burden herself with the extra guilt. It will eat away at her soul if she allows it to.
I hope others can learn how detrimental kidney disease can be to the remainder of our bodies and how important it is to be as compliant as possible.
Take care and my best to your family.
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Just wanted to let you know Im thinking of you and again im sooooooooooooooooo sorry for your loss....
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so very sorry for your loss :grouphug; :grouphug;
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So sorry for your loss :cuddle; Don't blame yourselves. Your dad was an adult who chose to live life the way he wanted. Nothing you or your mom would have done would have changed that. :cuddle;
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So So sorry to hear this sad news.
may God bless your father and your family.
:cuddle; P&K
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My caring thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this time. The hardest part of living is dealing with death. I pray that the good memories will supersede everything else. :grouphug;