I Hate Dialysis Message Board

Off-Topic => Off-Topic: Talk about anything you want. => Topic started by: karen547 on October 09, 2008, 02:20:56 PM

Title: I don't know what to do
Post by: karen547 on October 09, 2008, 02:20:56 PM
My mom heard from the Doctor yesterday, and it was not good news. Her Blood Count is down. She basically has no white or red  blood cells left. She was doing fine up until the doctor told her this, and now all of a sudden she doesn't feel well, and is back to being depressed and well to put it lightly- being a bitch. I know that sounds bad, but that is what she is acting like. I understand  her being upset, but shes being so cruel. I just feel like as soon as she gets any bad news she gives up and then lashes out at me and my dad! I dont know what to do, I feel like I mean nothing to her and it's just all getting to be to much anD I am freaking out!
Title: Re: I don't know what to do
Post by: boxman55 on October 09, 2008, 02:39:20 PM
Karen, I don't do counsoling very well but I do think you have to give your Mom a little time to digest this news. With both you and her being ill no doubt it might get depressing in your household. I can only suggest to hang in there. Hopefully she will see that her temperament is effecting everyone's living situation. I wish all the best to you...Boxman
Title: Re: I don't know what to do
Post by: Ang on October 09, 2008, 05:51:21 PM
hey  karen,


  sorry  to  hear  you  and  your  mum  are  a  having  a  rough  trot  at  the  moment.

  you  know  your  mum  better  than  us,give  her a  bit  of   a  wide  berth  when  she  gets  in  that  mood(bitch)

deep  down  somewhere    trust  me  you  do  mean  something  to  your  mum,  i'm  guessing  she  frustrated,angry  about  her  dilema  she  finds  herself  in  and  might  not  know  how  to  express  her  feeling  therefore  being  the  way  she  is.
good luck  with  it  all  take  care.
Title: Re: I don't know what to do
Post by: monrein on October 09, 2008, 06:08:59 PM
Try as much as possible to stay out of her way Karen (not always easy when living with a person I know) and if she snaps at you for no reason,  can you see yourself going up to her , trying to give her a hug, looking her in the eye and saying "Mom, I'm not the enemy.  I'm worried about you too and I wish I knew how to make it easier for you".  Sometimes we get bitchy and angry because those feelings can be easier for us to manage in the moment than sadness which can feel more helpless when it already feels that our control has been ripped away. 

Try not to yell back  (into your pillow is a good place to go scream what you really feel like saying back) since she may be venting in a way by taking out her feelings on you guys but it's not personal against you. 

I'm thinking of all of you and I hope things settle out again and also that your Mom is going to be alright.   :cuddle;  Hugs kiddo (I mean that in the nicest way) and hang in there.  We care a lot about you Karen.
Title: Re: I don't know what to do
Post by: pelagia on October 09, 2008, 07:14:27 PM
 I know that some people lash out when they are ill or hurting, others get depressed and withdraw.  Maybe your mom would benefit from going to counseling.  Has she ever done that?   :cuddle;
Title: Re: I don't know what to do
Post by: twirl on October 09, 2008, 08:15:48 PM
I think she is afraid of dying and losing you
when Scott was born I got so depressed thinking I will never live long enough to see him as he grows up
makes me so sad
sorry if this upsets you
I would hate to leave you if I were your mom
Title: Re: I don't know what to do
Post by: Joe Paul on October 09, 2008, 11:34:23 PM
All good advice - Hang in there  :grouphug;
Title: Re: I don't know what to do
Post by: circleNthedrain on October 10, 2008, 12:31:33 AM
The old saying "we only hurt the ones we love" comes to mind here.  I know I have been gulty of this myself when I'm feeling bad.  I hope thing will get easier around your house real soon.  We love you karen.
Title: Re: I don't know what to do
Post by: cherpep on October 10, 2008, 06:50:07 AM
My heart aches for you right now.  I hope you can find a way to deal with it without getting too upset.  Time is precious.  Be strong.