I Hate Dialysis Message Board
Dialysis Discussion => Dialysis: General Discussion => Topic started by: Brightsky69 on October 02, 2008, 12:32:58 PM
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:'( :'(
Today is a sad day. I got the word that I need to start dialysis. My doc told me that I have to get a PD catheter put in place before this month is over. I knew this was coming but today it was staring me in the face. It was in the room with me. I don't want to be back here. It was hard enough the first time.
I had a good run...17 years with this transplant. It feels like I am running a race and after 17 years I am back at the starting line.
I kept it together in the doctors office but as soon as I made it out of the building I started to cry. It took about 10 minutes for me to calm down in the car...enough to get my self home. I haven't told anyone yet...you guys are the first.
I am an appointment with the surgeon on the 7th. He is going to lay it all out to me. Then after that comes the PD catheter. So within 2 months I'll be on dialysis.
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Sorry you have to return to the dialysis lifestyle. I pray your operation goes smoothly for you, and that PD works well. :grouphug;
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:grouphug; Brightsky. I'm so sorry. Are you listed again for a translplant? You have to have HOPE. I'll be thinking about you. :cuddle;
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So sorry to hear about your news - all is not lost and once you are stable on dialysis you will look back and realise that at least you are still here and can regain some sort of normality.
I always tell people starting out on this road that it is not the end of the world and that you just have to adjust your way of life to fit in with your treatment by keeping yourself busy with something and not just lie there feeling sory for yourself. - remember dialysis does't rule you, you rule dialysis.
Keep your chin up, I know you will get through it
Good Luck
Edited: Fixed underline tag error - okarol/admin
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Brightsky, I was exactly where you were now, in April of this year after a 23 year transplant run. I do wish that you could have had longer with your trx and I know for all of us, no matter how long we have it, it's never enough. I had the same reaction as you, kept it together in the office but broke down like a baby in my car in the underground lot. I spent 45 minutes there, miserable beyond anything, but was at least confident that I needed to do that and would some how manage to pull myself together. I had been "brave" and refused my husband's offer to come with me.
Nothing I can say will make it OK, especially not right now with it all so fresh and final feeling. I do trust and hope though that it will get a little easier with time as you adjust. Big hugs.
Gail
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Hey Brightsky....I am so sorry to hear you need to go back on dialysis. I am starting on dialysis in November and I am really OK with it now but anyone will tell you I was a bit of a mess this time last year. Trust me, it won't be long before you are living up to you site name again. It is a shitty adjustment...hang on....am I allowed to say that here....but you are really positive so I think you will adjust just fine. The way you feel right now is totally understandable. Anyone else in your position would be feeling exactly the same. It is like the grief process. It will never totally leave you but it will get better with time. A big hug for now though xxxxCindy.
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I am so glad I have you guys to turn to. No one will understand like someone who has been there and done it. I feel a little bit better now....more calm.
I tried to call my mom to tell her but she was at work. However my brother was there and I told him. His basic reaction was...."oh". I am sure he just didn't know what to say. I haven't told my boyfriend yet. He's been in denial so I don't know how he is gonna take the news.
At least I know what to expect. I have done PD before. I gotta do what I gotta do. I am already on the transplant list and someday my ship will come in. :)
Thanks so much for the support. :cuddle;
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:'( I feel like crying with you. You must be feeling the loss as well as dreading what is to come. I am so sorry Brightsky.
You took good care of that kidney and I hope you can get another in the near future. Sending you good wishes and HUGS! :cuddle;
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:grouphug;
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So sorry to hear about your loss, But remember that God will never give us more than we can handle.My prayers go out to you.
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I am so sorry to hear this. i am saying a prayer for you...Boxman
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:grouphug; I'm sorry to have to go through this. :grouphug;